pflash99

I am bi.  Wife knows and approves.

My first sexual encounter was with a girl.  Then I had a few sexual encounters with guys.  Being very young, I was confused because I enjoyed sucking cock as well as eating pussy.

I had a buddy that lived down the street from me.  I had a crush on him because he had a gorgeous body.  We were very young when he let me suck his dick for the first time.  We would do sleep-overs, or sleep in club houses a lot. 

Our parents didn't know it, but he was letting me suck his dick and pumping his cum into my stomach several times a week.  If we did a sleep-over, I would suck his dick 4 or 5 times through the night.  He never sucked my dick, but he loved face fucking me with his dick.  

The best was if his parents went out of town.  He would invite me over for the weekend.  He loved being naked, so we would hangout in his house naked all weekend, sleep together naked and even shower together.

After we started dating girls, it tapered off a little, but not completely.  He would still let me suck his dick whenever he and I found time to hang out together.  It lasted until he and I headed off to two different colleges.

On 12/21/2019 at 1:51 PM, Mcay911 said:

Also sorry for the late reply apparently my email was putting this all in spam.  Since this post my wife has been more open to meeting new people but we still haven't yet.. I think it's more about time and being able to get away..

It does take time.  As guys, we want things to progress quickly and they usually don't.  In every cuckold relationship I have known, the wife sets the pace.  Patience and communication are vital.

My wife has gone months without having a bf on the side.  I think it drove me nuts more than her, lol.  But, I've learned not to push her.  

The issue could be your kids.  How old are they?  My wife and I have known many cockold/swinger couples that basically had to put the lifestyle on hold until the kids got older.  Your wife could be so busy being a mother and exhausted at the end of the day that her sex life has become an after thought.

The best thing you can do is be very open and honest with her.  Let her know how important her physical well-being is to you.  She may really like the idea of you wanting her to have a lover that she can have regular sex with, but it's important how sincere you are when you talk about it.  You need to make sure that is what she wants, as well.

Plus, she needs to be able to find the time to devote to a lover.  If you or her have a guy in mind, offer to watch the kids for the day, or even overnight so she can spend a day or night with her lover.

I completely understand your desire.  I love having sex with my wife, but I much prefer her getting the majority of her sex from other men.  My wife still doesn't quite understand my psychology, but luckily she loves it, and has for over 30 years.  

Since we have been married, she has had way more sex with other men than she has had with me, lol.  That's how I want it and she has no problem with it.  We never had any kids, so our situation is different in that respect.

I was a military pilot, now an airline pilot.  When I was in the military, there was never a shortage of single guys, in the squadron, for my wife to select from.  We would have squadron parties where everybody got to meet everybody and their wives.  I'm not sure how common it was for the married guys to be sharing their wives with the single guys, but I know it was fairly common.

For my wife and I, we would usually pick one of the single guys that she found attractive.  We would offer to let them live with us for free, as opposed to them renting an apartment.  The conditions were, that they would help with the house, if I was deployed.  Cut the grass, minor repairs, etc.  But also fuck my wife as much as they could,  whether I was deployed or not, lol.

Some of the single guys were very religious, or straight-laced and couldn't do it.  Luckily, those types were the minority.  Also, my wife has always been very hot.  She was a competitive diver in college and always maintained her athletic body.  Needless to say, we didn't have much trouble finding guys wanting to fuck her.

We, also, had to play it off right, with the neighbors.  We would simply tell our neighbors we were renting a room to my squadron mate.  Some bought it, some didn't lol.  But, it was none of their business, anyway.  

Although he had a room for himself in the our house, most of the time the three of us just shared our king bed.  If he and I wore the same size clothes, he and I would even share each other's clothes, too, lol.

It worked out really well.  For my buddy, he got to live for free and have all the sex he wanted with my wife.  If I was gone, he would take care of the yard and other stuff my wife couldn't do.

My wife loved it, too.  Some of my buddies had huge cocks and knew how to use them.  She and the other wives would get together, drink wine and compare their hubbies and lovers, lol.

I have also loved being denied.  So, if the sex was really good for my buddy and my wife,  I would go without sex with my wife for months while they had sex everyday.  I love it when another man becomes my wife's primary sex provider.  My wife knows this and has no problem with it, with the right guy.  I get plenty of sexual satisfaction cleaning and sucking another man's cum our of my wife's pussy and even sucking his dick clean, as well.

My wife also enjoys a good DP.  So, a lot of times I would break my string of denial doing that with my wife and my buddy.

16 hours ago, riprap69 said:

Interesting to me that there are so many no shows. We've had three events in the past six months where we were planning on one man but ended up with several more. Seems to be some movement in that direction too. One guy sets up the time and place then he shows with a group. Maybe it's just my wife? She can normally accommodate everyone but I know they show up expecting some resistance.

Wow, I can understand why a group shows up, lol.  She is amazing.

Hey Captainblack, don't get too discouraged.  This lifestyle is full of unfulfilled expectations.  If you think about it, though, it is no different than regular dating.  I have heard so many stories, of this same thing, with the single people I work with that are on match sites.  Be patient, this lifestyle requires lots of patience no different than any other type of dating. 

Lol, this is funny as hell.

Keep in mind, a contract is nothing more than rules that all parties involved agree to.  It is negotiable. If you can't agree to some of the rules, you can counter with your own rules.  You might be surprised how amicable others can be, lol.

If true, some of it is sad.  But....a lot of it is really, really hot.☺️

Athlete951 hit the nail on the head, Playtime Chicago.

My wife and I have been doing this for over 30 years.  My wife has had many, many bf's over the years and the ones that didn't last very long were the guys that became too demanding of her and/or tried to slowly squeeze me out.  The ones that were successful were the guys that became my friend as well.  Or, if we were friends already, we remained friends.  Not all bulls can do that.  

I did struggle a little in the beginning.  As I watched and observed other men fuck my wife, I realized how varied the sexual talents and capabilities of men can be.  Thus, I learned that my talents and capabilities were way less than some of these guys.  Although it is natural for all men to want to think they are the alpha male, that is simply not the case.  I am not, but I was able to slowly accept this.  

It reminded me of being on a football team.  Although I wanted to be the star player, I wasn't.  I was a lineman.  But, I was still part of the team and friends with the star players.

Nevertheless, I have been very good friends with many of my wife's bulls.  We became a very strong trio.  The three of us would share one bed, shower together and even travel together.  Although these guys would be my wife's primary sex partner, outside the bedroom, we would ski, mountain bike, workout together, etc. 

My wife's abilities make this work, for us, as well.  She is the type of woman that can have sex with other men and not lose the love and devotion she feels for me.  When it is just her and I, we still laugh together, hold hands and I can see and feel the love we share.

As she has learned, though, there is a big difference between making love vs getting "Fucked."  When she and I have sex, we make love.  I'm very submissive, so it's slow, tender and intimate.  Rarely do I give her an orgasm.  That is simply who I am.  She enjoys it and desires it a few times a month (on average) from me.  However, she craves getting fucked by a dominant, aggressive man, with a big cock than can make her squirt and have multiple O's every day of her life.  That is not who I am, lol, so that is what she looks for in a bull.  

Believe me, lol, there are men out there that have those talents and capabilities.  Luckily, nothing turns me on more than watching another man fuck my wife into screaming, squirting, sweaty exhaustion, lol. And, like Athlete951 said, I have learned to appreciate these men, because it frees me of that expectation.

On 9/4/2019 at 5:05 PM, Playtime Chicago said:

Thanks, I am an extremely confident guy . I don't think In would have any regrets . I don't fear her leaving me. I just want her to have as much pleasure as possible . That's the way I see it . It's hot for me to watch it also . That's another thing that I get from it . Thanks for the rep!y . 

Then you will probably do well, so "continue" would be my recommendation.

My wife loves the freedom she has to date and have sex with other men.  The only negative, for her, is that it brings unwanted drama into her life at times.  But only a small part of the time.

If you truly are an extremely self confident guy and she is the type of woman that can "play'" with other men yet stay committed to you, then the two of you probably have the ingredients for this.

You will really enjoy this.  It is soooooo much more fun than a vanilla relationship.

I don't, but I do have a friend that does.  I don't give him much credit, though, because he is just a negative person overall.

However, in my opinion, this lifestyle takes a lot of self confidence on the husbands part.  Keep these things in mind:

- Your wife will more than likely enjoy sex more with her bf's than with you.

- Once you start, it might be impossible to stop.

On 8/24/2019 at 11:45 AM, SandL said:

“Yes” and “Hopefully” not Yes and No

What I mean by “yes and hopefully” and not “yes and no” is that there is a definite upside to this lifestyle but there are other sides to it that need to be protected. 

The YES: From my experience, our marriage was solid and fulfilling in every possible way — except sex. My husband is my very best friend .. he’s the best “person” I’ve ever met — hands down. He has always put me first and always sought to make sure I’m happy and feel safe. No matter what I was feeling I could always talk to him and he would help. I hope he would say the same, but I’m not sure he would. But the one thing I didn’t feel I could bring up to him was how unsatisfied i was sexually. I enjoyed our sex ... but in the back of my mind, there was a growing seed of frustration. I guess he would be considered average in size .. he was my first so I dont’ have a lot to compare him to .. but I was not getting what i wanted ... and my want for more was growing desperate. But I just didn’t feel like I could tell him. I didn’t give him enough credit. I have a post about what I did .. and you can read it there .. but the short of it was that i put matters into my own hands. I confessed and we were able to reconcile .. and then we started to share. In the end, he understood my frustration ... and just as I should have expected ... he wanted to help make sure I was being fulfilled. That led us to a cuckold arrangement.                                     Once that started and took all its twists and turns (the cuckold relationship never stays stagnant) we grew to be so much closer. I didn’t realize it at the time, but before i was able to freely get the kind of sex he couldn't physically provide, i was starting to harbor bitterness toward him. That was now gone  and with it all the walls that could have stood between us were torn down. Our intimacy was better. And the sex between us was better. Not because he got better or somehow magically grew a bigger cock ... it was something else. Before becoming my cuckold, i was dependent on him for satisfying me (outside of taking care of myself). He couldn’t. And so sex with him was frustrating on many levels. I was wanting him to be and do what he wasn’t built for or had the nature for. That was a pressure that I put on him that wasn’t fair. But once he became my cuckold — that pressure was removed. Now our sex was more about loving each other and sharing that with one another. For him its still a physical pleasure ... and there are certain physical things i like about sex with him ... but its more emotional for me. And now that he was free of the burden to please me ... i felt free to just enjoy our sex. So we grew closer sexually too. 

But there is a “hopefully” too. 

The HOPEFULLY: The pitfall to finally feeling free gave us a confidence about our marriage that we weren’t ready for. Not me, especially. Sex is such a powerful thing that it can start to dominate other areas of your life .. including the non-sexual sides to your marriage. We didn’t take the time to protect that as well as we should have. As I said earlier, a cuckold relationship is never stagnant ... you might even begin to think that there are no boundaries that can’t be broken through. That’s not true. We all have certain personality traits. Some of us are dominant ... some of us are more submissive. Males can be one or the other .. females can be one or the other. I’m sure there truly are people who can be both ... but not us. We tried to venture outside of our “lanes” and neither of us could really handle it ... which eventually just built more walls that need to be torn down. But we’re getting there. 

All in all, I say that this lifestyle can truly bring a husband and wife closer together ... but as in everything, the husband and wife need to be true to themselves and who they are and feel free to be who they are ... and the ongoing emotional ups and downs need to be taken seriously and above all .. the marriage needs to be the number one priority. 

That’s my thoughts on it .. 

L 

 

 

Very well put, L

Even after 30 years of being in a cuckold marriage, we still find ourselves learning. 

On 7/8/2019 at 12:33 PM, RobJohnson said:

I believe that if there is a desire to have other partners, then working this out together as a couple should make you both much stronger.

There is a big issue if the desires are there, yet there is no communication between the couple. The desires will create cheating, which generally leads to comparisons being made between the lovers and partner, and in the end making choices which would lead to break up.

I believe if it can be discussed and explored as a couple, with complete openness, the strength that could develop here would be massive.

Easier said than done obviously, but desires and needs don’t go away, they need to be addressed and if you can address these together I believe the power and strength that would fall out of this as a couple would be immense. 

 

Very true.  Complete openness is vital for this lifestyle to work.  If something is said or done that one member of the relationship doesn't like, it needs to be addressed right away.

I find my role, as a cuckold husband, fascinating.  I am her husband and her best friend.  If she has a bad date, or is having issues with a current lover, I am the one she comes to for advice or to cry on my shoulder.

On 8/25/2019 at 1:38 PM, Bimarried001 said:

I applaud that you are out with your relationship. Wish I could be. Just the bulls and our 2 girls know. Actually I have one female friend that also know but that’s because she also shared marital secrets with me. 

Hopefully someday you will be out.  I have a feeling it is very comparable to coming out as a homosexual.  As far as our friends and family, some accept it, some don't.  The ones that don't accept it, simply don't care to talk about it when we see them.

The fun part, however, are the ones that do accept it and are very intrigued by this type of lifestyle.  My wife and I have dozens of pics and videos on our phones of her having sex with her bf's.  She will share them with some of her friends and she doesn't mind me sharing them with some of my friends.

One of the best parts of being out is that you get invites from other like-minded people.

On 8/25/2019 at 3:03 PM, secondjag said:

while i get where you were going with "religion and morals," please forgive me for making this distinction; morals are not mutually exclusive to religion.  there are sufficient moral men (myself among them) who are atheists. long before religion there were moral men.

Very true

Pflash, my guess is most wives would but you'd first have to get rid of the baggage they were brought up with.  Bimarried, i'm thinking the stereotypical is somewhat unavoidable. 

Agreed.  The "baggage" is something my wife and I have discussed since we started.  I don't intend to bash religion, but that is where modern day morals come from.

My wife and I are completely out of the closet with our lifestyle, so we discuss it openly with our friends, co-workers, etc.  I'm an airline pilot and I am amazed at how many other guys admit to me that they are bi and/or wished their wives were like mine.  My wife is amazed at how many of her gf's would love it if their husbands were like me, lol.

The "baggage" most of us were brought up with really does conflict with natural, human nature IMO.  Especially in the US.

On 8/19/2019 at 10:43 AM, secondjag said:

lol, i'm for any effort that studies you

Same here, Naughty Nicki.  I'm just as interested in the psychology of the hotwives, stags, etc.  I'd love to know how many currently monogamous, straight laced wives would go for being that way if their husbands let them.

I'm like you, smokey.  Over the years, letting my friends fuck my wife turned me on the most.  Unfortunately, a couple of my buds freaked out afterwards and it ended the friendship.  It always confused my wife and I why they freaked out.  My wife thoroughly enjoyed it and wanted to make it a regular thing, but they ran.

The best years for that was when I was a pilot in the Air Force.  At times, it was quite common for the married guys to share their wives with their squadron mates.  Although I got to fuck a lot of my friend's wives, I was way more interested in my wife fucking my buds.

Awesome read.  Thanks secondjag.

I really do hope more research is conducted on the psychology of cuckold men.  I also hope it helps the cuckold lifestyle to become more accepted.  

As with any survey, there is always a degree of participants who are ashamed to admit the truth, thanks to societal norms.  So I believe the cuckold fantasy or desire, exists in more men than what the existing research indicates.

It's hard to say for us.  We're in our 50's now and started in our 20's, in the beginning of our relationship.  I do know this:  her appetite for sex is far stronger than mine.  She is NOT a one man kinda woman.  Our relationship, probably, would not have survived had we not taken this path when we did.

My wife had four before me, but we started dating in high school.  We are in our 50's now so we have lost count how many cocks she's had since we've been together, but it's probably 80 to 100.

It's the sex parties we've been to, over the years, that made it difficult to keep track.  My wife loves loves a good gang bang, lol.

Lol, my wife would agree with Naughty Nicky.

I love the exchanges between SandL, lol.

Lifeslayer, as far as the stereotyping, you are definitely correct in the porn world.  I stopped searching "cuckold" and started searching "hotwife" or "wife with bull", etc.  Maybe the porn world will eventually catch up with the varieties of the cuckold lifestyle.

My wife is clueless about the stereotyping.  If she did, she probably wouldn't care anyway.  She doesn't watch porn or visit cuckold sites, she just dates and has sex with other men.  Although I've told her I'm a cuckold, she still doesn't really know what that means.  She just knows I love watching her have sex with other men. or just knowing she is.

I am definitely not the stereotypical cuckold.  I'm 6' tall with a slightly above average size dick.  She loves a big cock, but my wife has actually had bulls that were smaller than me in penis size as well as stature.

Try not to get too wrapped up in the stereotyping.  Just keep being a good bull for us husbands and wives that need and count on you guys.

I've never heard of or known a wife that wanted to be humiliated.  I've known many men who like humiliation, though.  I like a certain degree of it, myself.

My wife loves rough sex and being dominated by her bulls, but not humiliation.  As a bull, know your role and learn the boundaries of the couple you are with.  Cuckold husbands are not always small, defenseless guys, lol.

Yes, there is.  If you search the term "cuckold" you will find that it is not new.  That word goes back hundreds of years, although today's definition is slightly different.  

If you search "sperm competition" you will also find some interesting studies.  Many of which contribute that to cuckoldry.

Castle Rock, Colorado.  Supposedly one of the largest swinger towns in the US.