How Do I Get Things Back On Track?

[JamesAustralia1]

I've had a cuckold fantasy with my wife for years and finally got the guts to tell her about it.

Upon telling her and sharing what it meant and her doing her own research, she was really keen on the idea.

She said she wanted to start with a male escort first of all and go from there. I suggested signing up on a site like ashleymadison and seeing what happens from there to find someone more regular and she sounded keen on that also.

A week or two went by and she was busy getting her hair done, looking at buying sexy lingerie, etc and was really happy at the whole thought of it all. She found an escort she liked and was communicating with him about arranging a time.  She was telling me she couldn't wait to have his big cock in her mouth and in her pussy. It shocked me because she's always hated sucking me.

She later admitted to me that in the 14-years we've been together I'd never made her orgasm and that she found sex with me a disappointment and a chore. 

We were having sex on a particular afternoon and after I came (wasn't long) I got really sad and begged her to not go through with it and that my feelings were all over the place. Naturally she was pissed off and didn't talk to me for a couple of days and we had a fight about whether she cared for me at all and whether I'd suggested it in the first place just to test her. It ended up with us agreeing to never mention it again and to make more of an effort to enjoy sex together. We have been having more regular sex, and she's making an effort that's for sure, but I'm still struggling. 

The problem I'm facing is that I can't get her fucking the escort out of my mind now and I'm wanking so much thinking about it.  The problem is that after I wank I feel all guilty and feel like I don't want it, etc.  It's a circle I keep going through.

How can I overcome these feelings and get things back on track?

[Guest lilwhtdick61]

Have her go withthe guy or guys and have the time of her life. She told you she has never cum with your cock. Let her go and have that good time. You need to just sit back and enjoy her enjoying herself.

[UK_EX]

That's normal mate - after you cum, you don't want sex any more.

When your wife is fucking with someone else, masturbate by all means, but save the cum for when she returns, add it to her bull's cum.

 

Bryan

[JamesAustralia1]

Thanks for your comments guys. The problem I have is talking to her again about it and her realising I actually want it and that I'm not trying to play a game. She was pissed last time so how do I avoid that again?  I thought about saying to her to put me in chastity until after her first time so I can't cum and don't get second thoughts?

 

She said she would go to the escort's place for the first time, and if she liked him, would do a second all-nighter at our place before then starting to date.

[calicolombia69]

You have gone down a slippery slope.  I empathize bc precisely last weekend I was in the bitchy-you dont care about me anymore... mood.  She was like WTF is your problem?

 

My wife has fucked other men for our whole 15 yrs of marriage and 5 more prior.   Even though I am an experienced cuck, I still get jealousy bouts.   To make my drama short, she hadnt made contact all saturday and I felt left out.   I dont care her fucking all night long.  I care about her remembering I exist even if it is just sending a little emoticon over the text app.

 

So I see that underneath you are indeed excited to get things started.  But believe me, as much as we are perceived as weak and sissy, it takes a Real Man to let her wife get fucked and still love her and be turned on by the whole thing.   

 

Obviously the excitement of sex with the same dude for several years is nothing compared to fresh meat.  My wife also sucks and swallows  like you wouldnt believe outside the bedroom.  But darn if I can remember last time I got sucked .  Ditto for anal.  

 

So dont get hung up.  YOu need to get your emotions together and truly have faith that she loves you and adores you.  Dont bring the subject up again until you have looked at yourself in the mirror.  Understand that as husbands, we are no longer the White Knight that swept her off her feet years ago.  Or we are, but in a different sense.  We no longer need to prove we are the best in the sack because we are the best for her in many other ways;  else she would have dumped you long ago.

Like my wife, she appears to be the stronger of the couple.  This time she is not going to believe you or be fearful of your reaction when she gets home from laying the escort.

 

I would actually offer an apology.  An apology for being a drama queen.  Explain that underneath, you are truly excited about the idea.  Furthermore you are even more excited b/c you feel she deserves a complete experience b/c she is truly a wonderful and attractive woman.  

[JamesAustralia1]

Thanks for your response calicolombia69, really thoughtful, and some great points that really make sense to me.

 

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said not to get hung up on emotions and understand that with 14 years together we've built a solid partnership.  In your 20 years of cuckolding, has your wife always seen it as just and only sex or has she formed emotional bonds with her lovers too? How did you handle that because I think that would be the most difficult part to handle?

 

A part of being so nervous about it all as well is that I want to confess to her that I want to be a sissy and that I want to solely wear womens clothing around the house. When we talked originally discussions came up about chastity and her saying she would probably want to be sexually exclusive to her eventual boyfriend. No probably about it really with her not looking at me in a sexual way, but I wonder whether it would totally kill her opinion of me if I mentioned the sissy aspect of cuckolding.  Any thoughts there?

[calicolombia69]

They will form emotional bonds with some of them.  This is the highest point of the cuck rollercoaster.   The biggest fear is the jealousy that indeed she might have stronger feelings for him than you. And the biggest thrill is because when emotions are involved, they do get the biggest sexual satisfaction.

 

Over the years, more than once, I was sure she was feeling and desiring the other guy more than me.  Yet here I am and they are all history....  She has been patient enough to put up with my jealousy and explain that YES the sex is better with them for reasons I explained.  But the feelings are fleeting also.  Just like when your dick twitches from seeing that hot girl at the office or the supermarket everyday.  But it is just that.

 

I would NOT bring up the subject of sissy and dressing yet.  This is a long term thing and you need to develop the new scenario slowly.  I mentioned somewhere else that under it all, they enjoy dominating us sexually but they do admire the Alpha Male in us.  The true Man that allows our women to lie in another mans bed without taking out a shotgun or going to the judge.

 

I have intensely enjoyed crossdressing and being a sissy.  But you have to realize this is about HER enjoyment which will turn into your enjoyment.  So may times, we yearn for a hotwife, and eventually turn her into one, only to destroy the whole thing (as you did the other day) because of jealousy or because we pile on to many other shit on it that scares the hell out of her.

 

She may fear it is YOU who will turn gay and then dump her for a dude!

 

Thinks if you can stant watching her kiss with a man first.....  Will talk more next next week.  Actually flying home today!

[JamesAustralia1]

Thanks again for your thoughts Cali. It helps to hear what you're saying and it makes sense.

 

I felt initially that she had already started feeling emotional bonds towards the escort , but that was clearly nothing, and will be a lot more if and when she started dating. I mean just from the point of view of she was getting her hair-done a different way, lingerie shopping, chatting to the escort and giggling and generally just seemingly so happy that she's going to fuck a hot guy. 

 

That's the thing, I don't consider myself gay and don't feel gay. I still love looking at the hot girl at the office or supermarket, etc but I know I would enjoy crossdressing/being a sissy. I wouldn't know how to satisfy the hot girl even if I somehow got her anyway. I know its perhaps unfair to say, but I don't want to lead her down the cuckold route again if she wouldn't allow me the crossdressing/sissy aspect.

 

I was also thinking if and when I raise it all again of asking her to put me in chastity straight away, so I can't cum, and get the confusing thoughts again until after she's had sex with the escort. What do you think about that?

 

Do you still have sex with your wife? It did hurt a bit when she told me she found sex with me a disappointment and a chore. I suppose a cuck should expect that but it still cuts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[calicolombia69]

1. repeat to yourself 10 times what she said:  YOU ARE a CHORE until it rolls off you like water on a duck.  We are ALL a chore to our wives.  Come on all these years w the same dick and the same positions and the same fat belly???!!!    90% of women are also a chore to their husbands  Only us cucks find our wives still HOT after all these years

 

I advise you to think hard if the whole cuck thing is about YOU or HER.  WOmen are NOT stupid.  If she even smells that it is about you she will either say NO, or pretend to say YES and then really dump you for a manly bull.    I liked to x dress but she wasnt too into it and I stopped or did it alone lest she abandon the whole hotwife lifestyle   Admit openly it IS about you BOTH but with emphasis on her.  YOu will derive your enjoyment from her enjoyment.

 

Once she is into it for several months, you can start bringing in phase 2 - x dressing.  Start w the wearing panties. 

 

I do still fuck her but 9/10 I cum outside for several reasons:   She mostly dates guys who demand exclusivity.  Some are fucking smart.  If she hasnt fucked him for a few days, he expects to find her dry (only her juice which smells and tastes different from a mans)   So I can fuck but have to pull out.  Second YES feelings.  If he is a cool guy, she wants to feel she is somewhat faithful to him (it is also a turn on for me) 

 

Currently Im working out of town and come home once every 4 weeks for 4 days.  She sees him only at mid-day bc of being home for our kids.  So when I come home, it is actually her opp to spend nights with him!  So I get home all horny and have to help her iron her hair, cream on her legs and shave pussy so she can go over to his place.  No quickies b/c kids around me.   She spends all saturday and sunday w him.  God to I feel jealous.  She admits she is torn b/c she hasnt seen me for weeks but please understand that he also wants her in his bed for romantic mornings w breakfast in the bed and all.  I finally get her on Sunday night or MOnday early morning.  And then again I have to cum outside.  She does Thank me profusely for being a MAN and putting up w her antics so she does reassure me that I am the one she truly loves.  She feels for him but her deep love is for me. 

[JamesAustralia1]

You're certainly a very logical cuck Cali, 

 

It does actually make sense about the CHORE aspect considering we've been  together for so long.

 

And yes, you are right there of course that the emphasis has to be on her and her enjoyment in finding other guys to date.

 

What I think is going to be hard for me, at least initially, is that she plainly said last time, that she doesn't want the hassle of having to fuck me anymore as its always a disappointment and a chore for her. So basically I head into this lifestyle losing the ability to have sex with my wife. I don't want to put restrictions on this, but I wonder if I can negotiate something here or should I just try and accept that from the get go?  

 

The above is why I see chastity as such a vital ingredient so I can't cum and don't immediately get the jealous/horrible feelings. I actually raised chastity last time and she was open to it so perhaps it's something I can raise up front again this time?

 

That's really nice that you have that kind of relationship with your wife where you're so understandable of her needs, and she says she has a deep love for you. The difference for us compared to your situation is that we don't have any kids so she'd be free to do whatever she chooses when she chooses to do it.