Wishful Thinking

[DeeDee]

I wrote this months ago on a polyamorous forum, and I wanted to know what people here had to say . . .Please let me know.

 

I have played with several men in the past, and I have a semi-steady boyfriend, but I have met a new man that I have really fallen for. He is not entirely available as often as I would like him to be, though. The thing is that's the part about hi that really turns me on. He is so much more masculine than my husband is.

I have done nothing more than flirt, touch a little and give my new man oral, but I hve very deep feelings for him. My new man and my hubby have not met yet, but they have talked on the phone. I have met with my new man 5 times and he is still a little freaked out about me being married. My new man is not poly, but he does have a desire to have a relationship with me.

My new man is everything my husband isn't. My new man is tall, has a deep voice, is a master mechanic, owns his own business, is very muscular, is very, very well built below the waist, and loves my breasts. My husband could care less about my breasts. And my husband is not a real touchy-feely kind of guy either.

I have not actually gone on a date with my new man, and we haven't had intercourse, but when I can't be with him I miss him. I used to miss my husband like that when we were apart, but never as much as I miss my new man when I can't see him.

The other day I was going to surprise my new man. He had texted saying he was going to be at his shop. So, I convinced my husband to go with me to meet my new man. We were two blocks from my new man's shop when I called and told him that I was on my way to see him, with my husband. My new man told me NO, and that another time would be better. I felt let down, but also excited because my husband never tells me no, for any reason.

I saw my new man's NO as him being a man, putting his foot down. I wanted to see him so bad, but I understood. He said that he had a client with him and another time would be better. I told my husband that I so wanted them to meet, so that my new man wouldn't be so freaked out about me being married. I also wanted to be touched and to touch my new man, but I think both my husband and my new man knew that.

My new man called me after we had already turned around and were a block away from home. I had my new man talk with my husband. My husband told my new man that he was okay with me dating and seeing him. My husband told my new man that if he and I had a relationship that he would be more than happy about it. My husband told my new man that he believed that sex is what friends do for and with each other. My new man told my husband a few times that he just wanted to make sure no one got hurt. My husband assured my new man that he loved that me and him were seeing each other.

My husband texted me telling me that he was so turned on by me and having had the opportunity to talk with my new man. I told my husband that I was turned on as well. After my husband texted, my new man asked me to send him a picture of my breasts. So, I took a selfie and sent it to him. He sent me back a picture of his cock. I would have ended up having to get myself off because of all the excitement, but luckily my other boyfriend stopped by and took care of that for me.

My other boyfriend and I have been dating for 27 years. He is married,too. My new man is not married and lives closer to us. My other boyfriend is a great man, and I love him deeply, but when he and I made love this time, I pictured him as being my new man. I closed my eyes and could see my new man on me, with me, and the sex with my other boyfriend was amazing, better than usual.

When I texted my husband and told him that my other boyfriend had stopped by, he got excited by that, too. He loves knowing when I am with other men. He's always liked that. After my other boyfriend left, my new man called and told me that he had jacked off to my picture. I was flattered, but also felt let down that he didn't want to please himself with me, and let me be a part of his pleasure. Is that wrong?

I hate it when my husband jacks off instead of asking me to please him, or to make love to me. And now my new man has done the same thing, three different times. The other day, when my husband and I drove to my new man's shop, all I wanted to do was introduce the two of them, and possibly give my new man oral. I don't think I am asking a lot. Am I?

All day long, when I am at work, or anywhere else, all I can think about is my new man, and he is always so busy that he doesn't have a lot of time for me. I hate that, but love him none the less. When my husband got home that day, after we had been told I couldn't see my new man, I wanted to be made love to by my husband, and we did make love, but I had to ask him for it.

I have a very high sex drive, and I hate that my men don't. Well, my other boyfriend has a high sex drive, but we can only get together when his wife is at work or he is in my area. I think my new man has a high sex drive as well, but he is always so damn busy and has a hard time finding time for me, and I hate that.

My husband is around a lot, but he is very girly. He is the exact opposite of both of my boyfriends. My husband is more like a girlfriend to me than a man. I love my husband for who he is, but I long to be with men who are more like I wish my husband was but isn't. Although I have what could be considered friend with benefits, it isn't the same. Sure, we make love, but I don't have the same feelings for them that I do for my new man.

Has anyone else gone through anything like this?

[captainblack]

It is too bad you are not closer to me.  I think my drive might just be a match for yours.

 

Best of luck.

 

CB