Need Help With Your Cuckold Or Hotwife Situation?

[Dr.36]

ATTENTION MEN WHO WANT THEIR WOMAN TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ELSE

If you want to be a cuckold or hotwife husband, but you either don’t know how to make it happen or you can’t get past your wife’s resistance, then this will be the most valuable thread you've ever come across. 

You may or may not have heard of me but I am The Cuckold Consultant. I go by Dr.36, and you can find my website at http://thecuckoldconsultant.com

For the past several years, I've been helping men open their wives up to exploring the hotwife/cuckold lifestyles, even if those wives had already given the dreaded response of, "I'll never do something like that." As I'm sure many in the lifestyle can attest to, that's actually not an uncommon response for wives who do eventually willingly change their minds.

I offer both free resources and paid services, so I encourage you to stop by my website, read an article or download a free guide, and join the ranks of those who I've helped successfully fulfill their cuckold/hotwife fantasies.

[Dr.36]

I figured I'd share one of my more popular articles directly on here that some might find useful.

 

The 4 Pre-Cuckolding/Pre-Hotwifing Stages Every Woman Goes Through Before She Cucks Her Husband

There are a lot of different paths couples actually take when they go from having a strictly monogamous relationship to introducing cuckolding or hotwifing into their lives. In each of those paths though, there’s one thing that shows itself to be fairly constant, and it has to do with the mental stages a woman passes through before actually cuckolding her man or becoming a hotwife. That’s because behavioral change follows a fairly predictable model which psychology has demonstrated, and this process follows that model.

For the large majority of women, more often than not, this is a process–not an event. Processes are series of events that take place over time, aren’t necessarily linear, and are affected by multiple factors. Events are single occurrence happenings. To use an analogy to illustrate the difference between a process an event: turning most women on sexually is more like turning up a volume control knob as opposed to flipping a switch. For men, it’s usually more of an event that sparks sexual arousal/flips their switch.

So what does the process of becoming willing to cuckold her husband or become a hotwife look like for women? It’s made of up 4 stages, and although progress through the stages is usually linear, it doesn’t always have to be. Let’s take a look at the first stage.
 

 

Pre-Contemplation

The hallmark of this stage is having no desire or intention to change the current structure or dynamic of the relationship. It’s possible for her to be aware that different relationship arrangements exist (i.e. swinging, cuckolding, polygamy, etc) but she hasn’t related those arrangements to her own relationship.

In order for a woman to move to the next stage, there must be some thing (or a series of things) that triggers her to start thinking about those arrangements in relation to her own relationship. We will call this a Transderiviational Search Stimulus, or TDSS for short. A TDSS can be something as indirect/removed as her reading a random article about the benefits of alternative relationship arrangements, or it can be something as direct as her husband bringing up the idea of wanting her to sleep with another man.

This stimulus causes her to perform what can be called a transderivational search. She officially starts to think about an alternative arrangement as regards her own relationship. At this point, she enters the next stage.

 

Contemplation

It’s at this stage where most women will experience internal confusion, discomfort, and aversion towards such ideas. We know a lot of this has to do with social conditioning, values, past experiences, etc so we’re not going to re-hash all of that here. (For a more detailed explanation of what’s behind most of these feelings (which are responsible for her objections to this idea, read this article.)

All of the worries, fears, concerns, and pros, potentials, and advantages that she could possibly come up with go through her mind in this stage. She is in the middle of sorting out the transderivational search of relating this idea to her relationship with you.

In order to make it to the next stage, there are 9 questions every woman will and must ask herself before it’s even possible for her to make it to the next stage. It’s beyond the scope of this article to go into detail on these questions, but there is where what you do can make or break whether or not your fantasy happens. In other words, if you can answer these 9 questions in the right ways—because they do have right answers—then it’s a take-it-to-the-bank guarantee that your fantasy will happen. For more information on what these questions are, check out The Cuckold’s Checklist.

Women who get satisfactory answers to these 9 questions move on to the next stage.

 

Preparation

Women in this stage are ready to actually start taking steps to making cuckolding/hotwifing a reality. It’s not uncommon for the idea of taking smaller steps to make this fantasy happen appeal to them more than the idea of just going to a bar and going home with someone who hits on them.

Women in this stage should be encouraged to seek support from you or others who have experience in this lifestyle. Her number one concern will be if she starts down this path, will it somehow all blow up in her face? The better prepared she can feel, the better she’ll feel her chances of success are, which will in turn affect how much she’s willing to embrace all this and keep progressing. Joining a cuckold/hotwifing forum where she details her journey can be a great place for her to get all the support she needs.

 

Action

Women in this stage have actually taken and are continuing to take steps to make cuckolding/hotwifing a reality in their relationship. It’s important for them to continue to feel plenty of support and to learn more about the fantasy, themselves, you, and where it can all lead.

 

The Non-Linear Nature Of Progression

I mentioned earlier that processes usually aren't linear, and because this is a process, it doesn't have to be a linear one. For example, some women move from contemplation to action while skipping the preparation stage, become hesitant while they're taking action, and "regress" into a previous stage. Others go from pre-contemplation to contemplation, and back again to pre-contemplation after they decide they don't want to do this, but into the preparation stage if her objections are overcome.

The important thing to remember is that this process/journey is fluid and flexible. Women can flow and move back and forth from one stage to the next, sometimes within a matter of minutes depending on what they feel or what's currently happening in their relationship with you. If you want your woman to entertain your fantasy, then you need to first understand and respect the process, both of which you should have an easier time doing now that you've read this article.

[staffans1]

Great article! Thanks!

[RobJohnson]

I agree, for some it doesn't come easy. I can see the benefits for many people in this. 

[Dr.36]

Glad you 

On 9/5/2017 at 4:45 AM, staffans1 said:

Great article! Thanks!

 

On 9/5/2017 at 6:36 AM, RobJohnson said:

I agree, for some it doesn't come easy. I can see the benefits for many people in this. 

Glad you both like! And yes, there's definitely benefits that many wannabe cucks turned full cucks have already been quite successfully reaping 

 

Here's another article (although a briefer one) that might be of interest to some:

How Sperm Competition Can Induce Ovulation

There are two hormones play an important role in ovulation:

1. Follicle Stimulating Hormah (FSH): this hormone causes an egg in the ovary to ripen and mature
2. Luteinizing Hormone (LH): this hormone triggers ovulation and release of that egg.

Curiously enough, these two distinctively female hormones are actually found in semen. Why?

This snippet from Scientific American explains it very well:

Unlike females of other primate species, women do not have breeding patterns governed by season or standardized cycles, and there are no obvious signals—such as a fire-engine red, swollen rear end—giving away their time of the month. So for a naïve human male, impregnating a woman as a consequence of sexual intercourse is much more a roll of the dice than it is for males of other species in their mating behaviors. Just as with any other species, though, getting the timing right so that release of semen coincides with the release of eggs is key. As a counterdefense against women’s concealed ovulation, male evolution had a trick up its sleeve, which was the ability to manipulate the timing of a woman’s ovulation to suit his own insemination schedule—that is to say, semen chemistry seems to give premature eggs a nice little nudging. Hence the conspicuous presence of FSH...and LH.

So what does this have to do with sperm competition?

Well, the higher the levels of FSH and LH in a woman’s body, the more likely that woman is to enter ovulation. A woman will therefore be @@@@@@@ to higher levels of FSH and LH the more semen that is ejaculated into her. And as we just said, the higher the levels of FSH and LH, the more likely she is to enter ovulation.

Ipso facto, it stands to follow that sperm competition can induce ovulation. Pretty interesting stuff, isn’t it?

[staffans1]

This is great stuff! I never heard of this before. I will download from your page as well.

[Dr.36]

Did Your Wife Give You Objections To Your Fantasy?

If your wife objected to the idea of sleeping with other men, congratulations!

Why?

Because of two very important reasons. Before I tell you what those reasons are though, I want to tell you why you should not only expect to encounter objections along the way, but also help you understand why it’s a good thing to have encountered them.

 

The Myth Of The “Lucky Cuckold”

Most men seem to have this notion that it takes a certain kind of woman to be willing to get into the cuckold or hotwifing lifestyles. The reality though is that there are all kinds of wives who become naughty cuckoldresses and slutty hotwives. Fat wives and skinny wives, old wives and young wives, sexy wives and ugly wives, slutty-by-nature wives and conservative wives, religious wives and non-religious wives, wives who jumped at the idea, and wives who drug their feet along the way.

You know what this should tell you?

It should tell you that whatever kind of person you believe your wife to be, it has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you can ultimately get her to participate in and enjoy your cuckold or hotwife fantasy.

Now before I accidentally trigger people who think otherwise, let me throw them a bone. Am I saying that being married to a young, hot, open, non-religious, slutty-by-nature woman won’t have any effect on whether or not she might be more willing to do it than a woman who is her opposite? No, I’m not saying that at all.

What I’m saying is that the factors that can make the difference between getting your wife on board to sleep with other men versus being gridlocked due to her stubborn and close-minded resistance are more in control than you might think.

So don’t let yourself be fooled by the “lucky cuckold” myth that would have you think only guys who were lucky enough to be with the right kind of woman can be lucky enough to live out their fantasies. Not only that, but I can also guarantee you there are women out there who you would have never ever believed would have eventually gave into this fantasy. But they did.

Let that be the fuel to keep your hope alive that your wife can too.

 

An Often Overlooked Reality

We don’t live in vacuums; we live in societies. In turn, societies condition us to think and not think, feel and not feel, and act and not act in certain ways according to the values, beliefs, and mores of the society and time in which we live. This is what is known as social conditioning.

Furthermore, our past and our families also play a very large role in conditioning us. So I want you to take a minute and think about how your wife has been conditioned, societally and familially.

If she’s like most other women, she’s been raised to value things like sexual prudence, privacy, monogamy, happiness, morality, respect, boundaries, etc; to be averse to things like infidelity, promiscuity, open relationships, etc; to fear what’s new and threatens to affect any kind of status-quo harmony she has come to expect and depend on; to desire security and safety; to be defensive towards anything that could take away what she sees as hers or what is important to her.

If you can accept the above description as accurate (as accurate as a short description like that can be), then what kind of response would you expect to get when trying to introduce something right into the middle of your relationship that at best goes against your wife’s values, triggers her feelings towards what she’s averse to, stirs her fears, and threatens to possibly upset everything she’s come to hold dear more than her very life itself?

 

What To Expect

If you’re like most men who haven’t brought up their fantasy yet to their wife, it means you’ve probably already had thoughts similar to the above–which is why you haven’t introduced your fantasy. Deep down you don’t think it’ll ever happen.

If you have brought up your fantasy up to your wife, then the objections and resistance she gave you can be traced back in some way to all the above factors.

Whatever group you’re in, you should expect to encounter some resistance along the way.

 

Here’s Why I Am Congratulating You

So that congratulations you were given just a few paragraphs up–I said I was giving it to you for two reasons. And now, I’m going to tell you what they are.

1. It means that you’re wife is a normal woman with traditional/conventional values and she values her relationship with you. This is the type of foundation you should want to have before pursuing fantasies that go “outside” the marriage.
2. If she’s given you objections, it means you’re on the right path!

The vast majority of guys who were able to make their fantasy happen encountered some kind of resistance along the way. Some guys face a lot of resistance up front, some guys in the middle, and some guys the very minute before she’s about to walk out the door to leave for her date. Getting resistance doesn’t mean you can’t make your fantasy happen; it means you need to figure out how you can work around the resistance she’s giving you in a way that she’ll be satisfied with.

 

Now What?

If you haven’t checked out my website yet, well come on over and don't be shy!

[Dr.36]

On my site, you can find over 50 interviews with real hotwife and cuckold couples. If you could only read one though, I'd tell you to read this one. Why?

Because it portrays in the most realistic light possible what it's actually like to live the hotwifing / cuckolding lifestyle.

Those of you who are already in the lifestyle will find quite a few things that resonate with your experiences, thoughts, and feelings on an almost scary "spot on" level. And those of you who haven't yet indulged in the "forbidden/taboo" pleasures of exploring extra-marital relationship arrangements will learn quite a bit of "unspoken truths".

I don't want you to get the wrong idea though; they're not bad truths or anything; they're just real. For example, it's real to worry about your wife's safety when she goes to meet someone she met online, even if it's in a public place. It's real for a wife to feel guilty about spending time with her date when she could be spending that time with you and your children together. It's real that the guy your hotwife is fucking in the hotel room might not be comfortable with the idea of her taking pictures to send you.

These are things that the Tumblr & Twitter memes you see floating around on the internet won't tell you. By the same token, they're also things that are pretty helpful to know, both for the fact that it shows you what to possibly expect if you haven't been down this road yet, and to validate your experiences in a "Hey, I know what they're talking about!" kind of way if you have.

Without further ado, I'd like to introduce the graciously and candidly open Tumblr couple Hotwifebegins. I hope you enjoy their interview!


 

The Interview

 

Q: How did you get started in the stag & vixen lifestyle?

A: Her - We started out swinging as a couple about 8 years ago. That started out from us talking about fantasies of having a threesome with another woman, but since that was next to impossible to find, we decided to play as a couple. We also had some threesomes with another guy a few times. Then we decided to try a polyamory/open marriage type of relationship, which didn’t go well at all. That combined with complicated life situations resulted in us taking a break off of it all for a few years.

About a year ago, he started mentioning how he thought it would be sexy for me to hook up with another guy. I didn’t believe him AT ALL at first. I wasn’t opposed to it, because I knew from our previous swinging experience how hot it could be, but it took some convincing for me to understand that he was serious about it. I would say it took a couple of months for me to seriously start looking for people to meet.

Him- Exactly what she said.

 

Q: You mentioned in one of your recent text posts that many mistakes were made and lessons learned. What kinds of mistakes did the two of you make, and what lessons did you learn from them?

A: Her - I am staying away from much younger guys.  As much of an ego boost as it is to have a guy be interested who is much younger, it has never worked out, I don’t know what the deal is, but I’ve been stood up by them, or they vanish into thin air.  So, I think I’m going to stick to the 35 and up crowd.

I also don’t know that this was really MY mistake, but one of the guys I met with was completely weirded out by me taking pics and videos and me sending them to my husband. I had put that into the open that it would happen that way, but I don’t know if he didn’t believe me or didn’t pay attention. So, we met up, and I gave him a blow job, and he immediately left afterwards, without even touching me. So, I make sure it’s REALLY clear what I am planning on doing now.

Another lesson that I am constantly working on is working on my story telling when I get back home. I am not the most talkative person in the world, and it is a learning process for me!  I am fine with taking pictures and video but putting it into words for whatever reason is difficult for me.

Him - Be patient! Sometimes you can get caught up in that adrenaline/libido rush that you think you need to have it all the time! Don't get caught in that. I did. I would constantly talk about it and not really see that she didn't want to talk about it. I had to, and still have to, learn to tone it back. A little bit anyway, I still sometimes get a bit over excited.

And what she says up there, completely. I wish there was an easy screening process lol. We are learning with each other as we go. Sometimes we don't agree but we work it out.

 

Q: What kinds of things did you learn about regarding trust as you’ve taken your journey down this path?

A: Her - It took me awhile to actually trust that he meant he was for real about me becoming a hotwife.  Even after my first date, I was still convinced he was going to be angry at me for actually doing it. Once I realized that isn’t the case, it’s been amazing to know that I have the freedom that I have, and that he knows I am always coming back home to him after.

Him - I trust her completely and without hesitation. So I think if anything this has reaffirmed and strengthened my trust in her.

 

Q: Can describe what your first official stag & vixen experience was like for each of you (the one where the two of you didn’t get stood up)?

A: Her - Yeah the first one was me being stood up by a 24 year old, one of the reasons for my 35 and up rule lol.

The first one that actually worked out was with a guy I met through swinglifestyle.com  He is very experienced in the swinging lifestyle, and in an open relationship himself.  I met him for coffee one evening and he was an absolute gentleman and put my mind totally at ease.  He happened to be my first BBC experience, which isn’t something I was specifically seeking out, but also not something I was ever opposed to, it just worked out that way.

So when we met up a few weeks later for our first real date, I was insanely nervous not knowing how my husband would react, if I would even be able to go through with it. But once I got naked and saw this guys huge package, yeah, those thoughts went away for awhile It was amazing.

I was so worried about making sure I was texting back what was going on, and sending pics  and not leaving my husband out. I had a wonderful time, but I was also anxious to get back home. Once I got home, I was terrified he was going to be so pissed off, but obviously it didn’t happen that way!  Showing him all the pics and videos and reliving my first BBC experience with him was great once I realized he wasn’t mad. We both went to bed exhausted that night

Him - Well from my perspective I was a hot mess LOL! It was crazy, my mind was racing, emotions on maximum overdrive. I can tell you that if you ever try this lifestyle, without a doubt, the first time your wife goes out with another man, and you KNOW what they're going to do…. you experience every single emotion. All at once! It can drive you mad lol. But it was amazing! Especially once the pics started coming. Seeing how satisfied and happy she was when she got back was amazing! That's why I do this, to give her what she wants, and the things that I can't.

My biggest fear was that he would do something harmful to her. Luckily that didn't happen. She's been with him 2 more times since then and he's really a great guy. But holy shit the sex when she got home….. WOW! It was an incredible night and yes, we did go to bed exhausted that night.

 

Q: What’s it like to explore this fantasy in real life? What are the best parts, and what are the most challenging parts?

A: Her - Best parts:  having my husband think I’m the sexiest thing on Earth!  Getting to experience things I normally wouldn’t, like BBC. The incredible sex we have when I get home!

Challenging parts:  I feel like I could write a book on this alone lol. We have kids who are in activities in school, we both work full time, and we live in a pretty rural area, so finding people to meet and times to meet can feel like another job somedays. I pretty much have to look in a 60 mile radius to find anyone who I am attracted to and who is open to the idea, so it just makes the logistics of meeting up more complicated. Plus the fact that I can’t really have anyone over in my home, because of the family, usually I am having to meet in a hotel, which gets expensive!

Him - Best parts: the sex! Seeing her being wanted and desired by so many other guys is a rush for me and I love it. Seeing her realize that she IS that desirable is awesome! Knowing that I can give her everything she desires, sexually, or at least give her the freedom to go get it.

Challenging parts: As she said, scheduling, finding free time. And finding guys that aren't total flakes or just idiots lol. Getting her to communicate better about things she feels and thinks.

 

Q: How do you make sure the fantasy doesn’t ever wind up becoming dangerous where it could negatively impact your own relationship in some way?

A: Her - One of my biggest fears is that I am going to hook up with someone claiming to be single who isn’t really and their significant other comes after me for being a “homewrecker” and tries to create drama in my life when I am desperately trying to avoid that. So I am very particular with people I meet to try to avoid that. Obviously if they are lying to their significant other and me, I can’t do much about that, but if they are honest enough to tell me they are married, I politely tell them no thanks.

I am also super conscious, maybe TOO much sometimes, that my dates aren’t interfering with our time as a family. I can feel very guilty about it sometimes!

Him - My biggest fear is that she'll get hooked up with this awesome guy, talks the great game, and then he assaults her. I know she can take care of herself and takes precaution, but it's always in the back of my mind and doesn't ease up until that first text. Then I know she'll be ok.

As far as dangerous for us as a couple, I think communication is key. After every date we'll talk about it very often and not always in a sexy way, but talking about things she wants to change, how she felt, how I felt, etc. Talking, texting, whatever you have to do, DO IT! If you don't do it then you are putting your relationship in jeopardy I think.

 

Q: Does the idea of your vixen developing feelings for one of her lovers appeal to you at all? Does it appeal to her? If so why, and if not why not?

A: Her - It does appeal to me, like I said before we had tried to have a more polyamorous relationship at one point, but it didn’t work out. I am OK with him having a relationship apart from me, but I have zero interest in hearing the sexual details of it, it’s not at all a turn on for me. But he is the opposite, in that he’s OK with the sexual details, but not anything more than that. So, unless we are on the same page, it’s not something that is on the table. At this point, I am not really sure I want to go down the poly road again anyway, so if this turned out to be an issue in the future, I would have to be honest with everyone and work it out. My marriage is my #1 priority and always has been.

Him - Not one bit lol. As you can see by her answer this is where we differ greatly. I'm ok with sharing her body with someone but not sharing her heart. I'm greedy like that. Like she said we tried the poly road before and in all honestly I thought I could deal with it. But once I could see that she was catching feelings for him…. It drove me crazy. I just simply couldn't deal with that aspect of it. I personally don't think I'll ever want to go down that road again.

 

Q: What it like having your naked body on the internet for thousands of people to see and get off to?

A: Her - To be quite honest, I feel very VERY weird about it lol. I approve all of the pics he posts beforehand, if not there would be ALOT more than what there are. I’m a 40 year old working mom, it’s odd to me sometimes to think that anyone wants to see me naked besides my husband. I try to be less self-conscious about myself, no one is perfect. But at times I struggle with it. Having a husband who thinks you’re the sexiest thing on Earth helps though!

Him - I know this question isn't for me but I fucking LOVE IT!!!!! I want the whole world to know what a sexy ass woman she is!

 

Q: Now that the two of you have done this a few times, do you have a typical “process” more or less that you follow that goes from start to finish to make sure all this happens safely?

A: Her - In some ways yes, but not always. He always knows the address of where I am going if he isn’t going to be there too. And the name of the person I am meeting. I have had some dates I met before  hand, and some I just met and went straight to naked. And I’ve had good and bad both ways, so I am not sure which I prefer yet.

Him - what she's said sums it up quite nicely. We're still learning. Trying different ways. Once we find a definite way to do it we'll let you know lol.

 

Q: Does the idea of her being taken by more than 3 men at the same time appeal to either of you? If not, what are some things on this path that you’d like to explore in the future but haven’t yet?

A: Her - YES!  I don’t know that it will ever happen, but it’s fun to think about

Him - OMG YES! Guys where you at???

***************************

If you want the link to this couple's Tumblr, it can be found in the interview itself on my site which you can find here: https://www.thecuckoldconsultant.com/exclusive-interviews/an-exclusive-interview-meet-hotwifebegins/. I hope you all enjoyed reading this interview and found it useful!