Goodhusband

Mel said, "Actually, Vince was responsible for our first real break. Like Amy just said, I got to know Vince too. We used to go over to his place for lunch. He'd feed us and we'd take turns sucking his cock. It was what you could call a mutually beneficial relationship." I smiled. Continuing, Mel said; "It had been over a month since we'd even had an audition. Both of us were working as night shift maids at one of the casino hotels and we hated it. We wanted to be dancers. We were having lunch with Vince. He could tell we were both pretty down so he told us he might be able to help us out. He had a friend who ran a no alcohol strip club. We were both so naive that he had to explain what that meant. In Vegas they control the strip clubs through their liquor licenses. If a club wants to serve alchohol the girls have to keep their panties on. If a club is willing to sell only soft takes the girls can be totally nude." Nodding, I said; "Vince was offering to get you jobs dancing in a totally nude club." Amy said; "That's right." "I gather you took him up on his offer." Mel said; "We didn't even have to think about it. Clean hotel rooms at night or flash our coochies while we danced in front of a room full of horny guys. Amy and I are both exhibitionists. The choice was easy." "Vince called his friend. Mel and I met him at his club an hour later for an audition. Michael, it was a crazy place. You actually had to walk through a sex shop to get into the club." "What was the audition like?" Amy answered. "He took us into the club. It didn't open until five. It was about the size of two large living rooms. In the center of the room there was a raised round stage about eight feet in diameter. The stage was surrounded by two rows of padded chairs. They looked like the chairs that would come with a fancy dining room set. Altogether there were forty of them. There were also ten love seats placed along the back walls of the club." I said, "Those were for lap dances." Amy and Mel both nodded. Amy continued. "There was a hallway on the left side of the club. We later learned that it led to the dancer's dressing room. There were lockers in there so we could lock up our street clothes and valuables. There were also two makeup tables with mirrors and several comfortable chairs. On the right side of the club there was a small bar with a refrigerator. The refrigerator was filled with soft drinks. There was another hallway next to the bar . We later learned that it led to the private booths." "What were the private booths?" Mel said, "We'll explain that in a minute." Continuing, Amy said; "Jack, that was the owner's name, put on some music. We both did a strip for him. Once we were naked he had us sit on chairs on the stage with our legs spread while he talked to us. He wasn't being a creep, he was making sure that we weren't shy about flashing our stuff. He explained that we wouldn't get paid. In fact we would actually have to pay him fifty dollars a night for the privilege of dancing in the club." Shaking her head, Mel said; "We thought he was joking. We were ready to get dressed and walk out." Amy said, "We were, but he quickly explained that while we would get some tips while we were dancing, the real money was in lap dances. They cost thirty dollars a piece and on an average night we could expect to do ten to twenty of them. After the first fifty dollars we got to keep all of that money." Mel chuckled. "We immediately changed our minds about leaving. It would have taken us almost two weeks to make that much money cleaning hotel rooms." Smiling, Amy said; "Jack hired us and told us that we could start the next night. We were excited, but we did have one little problem. Neither of us had ever given a lap dance. When Jack heard that he made both of us give him one. He gave us some pointers and suggested that we spend a little time practicing on each other. Mel asked him what we needed for clothing. He suggested short skirts and low cut blouses. He explained that the old term strip tease was still pertinent. Guys like to think they're getting to see something they're not supposed to see, especially at the beginning of the dance." Mel said; "Michael we were so excited. We went straight back to our apartment, pulled out all the clothes we had and started mixing and matching them to make costumes. Once we had some costumes we started choreographing dances for each other. That was so much fun." Amy nodded. "It was, we were two eighteen year old girls laughing and giggling while we performed for each other." "And then we started doing lap dances." Giggling, Mel said; "That was weird." Smiling at Mel, Amy said; "But it was fun too. You do remember how it ended, don't you." "Of course I do. How could I forget it. That was the first time we went down on each other." "And we both had orgasms" "God did we ever." Amy reached over and placed her hand on my cock. "Michael, you're hard. Does hearing about two women making love turn you on? Would you like to watch?" I gasped. Mel said; "I think we can take that as a big yes. I'm wondering if it's not time to go home for a little dessert." Shaking my head, I said; "Not until I've heard the end of your story." Laughing, Amy said; "What else do you want to know?" "I want to hear about your first night at the club and I'm really curious about the private booths." Mel stared at me for a moment and then she said, "Michael, you really are a voyeur, aren't you." Suddenly embarrassed, I stared at the floor. Gently rubbing my thigh, Amy said; "Baby you don't have anything to be ashamed about. There nothing wrong with a little voyeurism. Mel and I are both ardent exhibitionists. We love men like you." "We also don't believe in judging people. You don't either. That's one of the reasons we like you so much." Mel picked up the pitcher and divided the remaining beer between our three mugs. "We'll tell you the rest of the story while we finish our beer." Amy took a sip of her beer. As she set her mug down she said; "The next morning we went to see Vince. We wanted to thank him, but we were also excited about dancing that night and we wanted to share our excitement with him." Mel said, "We modeled our costumes for him and performed the strip numbers that we'd choreographed for each other." "And then we both did a long slow lap dance for him. He loved it" Amy was smiling at the memory. Nodding, Mel said; "We finished by giving him a tandem blow job." "A tandem blow job? You mean you both sucked him at the same time? How do you do that." Amy gave my cock a firm squeeze and said; "After we finish here, we're going to our house. When we get there we'll show you." I gasped. Both women giggled. "But first we have to finish the story." Amy was grinning at me. "Okay." She continued. "That night was amazing. We were both so excited when we got to the club. Jack met us. When we showed him our costumes he told us that the guys were going to love us. Then he introduced us to the woman who would be our mentor. Her name was Ginger. She'd been at the club since it opened three years earlier. She was a lot older than we were, maybe thirty or thirty-five." Mel said, "She was very nice and a wonderful mentor. She took us to the dressing room, gave us each a locker and warned us to be careful to lock up our valuables. She said that some of the girls weren't too honest. Vince had told us to bring combination locks so we were prepared." I said, "Vince turned out to be a pretty good friend." Smiling, Amy said; "He still is. Twice a year we go to Vegas just to see him." Mel said, "He also comes down here and stays with us a couple of times a year. " Getting us back on track, Amy said; "Anyway, we put on our first costumes. While we were checking our makeup Ginger told us that we shouldn't use our real names. We needed stage names. That's when I became Simone." "And I became Chantel." Amy continued the story. "Once we were ready we went out into the club. It opened at 6:00, but there were only two guys there. That was actually okay. It gave us a chance to get used to dancing on the stage." Shaking her head, Mel said; "For the first few hours it was pretty dull. I was afraid that we weren't going to make any money, but then about nine o'clock guys started to show up. Apparently most men who come to Vegas like to begin their evenings in the casinos. They tend to end their evenings in the strip clubs. By ten the place was full. Michael, we really are exhibitionist. You can't imagine how thrilling it was for us to dance totally naked in front of a crowd of cheering guys." "I'll bet it was exciting. Did you get to do many lap dances?" Amy said, "Lots of them. The guys loved us. By the end of the evening we'd both done over twenty." "That's right and that night we were also introduced to the private booths." "Tell me about them." Grinning, Mel said; "They were pretty interesting." Laughing, Amy agreed; "They really were." "Tell me." Mel said; "Okay. It was about 11:30. I'd just done three straight lap dances for a guy. When we finished the third one he asked me if we could have a party in one of the private booths. I explained that it was my first night and I didn't know anything about them, but I'd ask Ginger. Ginger was sitting with a guy. They were just talking so I went over and told her that I needed to ask her a question. She told me to go ahead. I told her that the gentleman I was with wanted to party with me in a private booth. Ginger immediately turned to her gentleman and excused herself. After explaining that she'd be right back she went to my gentleman and told him that we needed a minute. Then she led me to the door leading to the private booths and opened it." "I'd just finished doing a lap dance when I saw Mel and Ginger going to that door. I was curious so I hurried over to them." Mel said, "As soon as we saw Amy Ginger said, Good now I can show you both at the same time. She opened the door. There was a carpeted hallway. On the right side of the hall there were six more doors. Ginger told us that those doors led to the customer's side of the six private booths. She closed that door and led us to a door behind the soft drink bar. Neither of us had noticed it. She opened it and went inside. We followed her. We were in a hallway similar to the one the customers used only the doors were on the left side of this hallway. Ginger opened the first door. We looked inside. The booth was about four feet by four feet. There was a window three feet by three feet in the wall opposite the door. The customer's side of the booth was on the other side of the window. It was also about four feet by four feet. Each half of the booth had a chair just like the chairs in the club. Our side of the booth also had a small padded foot stool directly beneath the window. I also noticed that the bottom of the window was padded. Oh and here's the crucial bit of information. There wasn't any glass in the window."

As she set them on the table Mel said; "Hi Maggie." Smiling, Maggie said; "Hi Mel, Hi Amy; who's your friend?" "Maggie, this is Michael Nolan. Michael this is Maggie Reynolds." "Hi Maggie, nice to meet you." "Hi Michael, nice to meet you too." Mel asked; "Maggie is Dexter Porter treating you good?" "He is. He bought me a ring. He gave it to me Saturday night. We're engaged." Beaming with pride, Maggie held out her left hand and showed us her new diamond engagement ring. Nodding her approval Mel said, "That's a beautiful ring. Dexter must have gotten that job with Donleavy Construction." "He did and now he's saving as much money as he possibly can. I am too. We want to be able to buy a house." Amy asked; "Have you set a date for the wedding?" Shaking her head, Maggie said; "We're going to wait for at least a year and when we do get married I think we'll just go to a justice of the peace. Weddings are expensive. We'd both rather spend the money on a house." Mel said; "That's smart." Turning to me, Amy asked; "Michael, would you mind if we ordered for you? We know what's good here." "Not at all." Turning back to Maggie, Amy said; "We'll have an order of pulled pork, an order of beef brisket and an order of ribs. For sides we'll have creamed corn and beans." Maggie asked, "Do you want tortillas or Texas toast?" Mel and Amy both looked at me. I shrugged. Amy said; "Bring us tortillas." Maggie left to turn in our order. As soon as she was gone Mel started pouring beer. "They have Dos Equis lager on tap here." "We like the food, but I think we might like the beer even more." Amy was grinning. Once she finished filling the three mugs Mel pushed one towards me and another one towards Amy. Then she picked up her own mug and held it out. "To our new friend." Amy and I picked up our mugs. Holding mine out, I said; "To my new friends." The three of us clinked our mugs together and drank. The beer was cold and tasted good. As we set our mugs down, Amy said; "You know this is the first time we've ever done this." I looked at her with a puzzled expression. She explained. "I mean go out with a guy we met at the club." Nodding, I said; "Okay." And then I asked; "Why me? I'm just a middle aged accountant." Shaking her head, Mel said; "No Michael, you are a truly fascinating man." "Why?" "Lots of reasons, but I think the way you're coping with what your wife is doing might be the most compelling." Amy said, "I haven't heard much about this. Will you tell me what happened?" "Okay, but it's kind of a long story." Mel said; "Bobby's is open until 2:00 AM." "All right." I told them the story, the entire story. They both listened with rapt attention. When our food arrived I continued talking while we ate. Occasionally one of them asked a question. They were both curious about the observations Jennifer Rawlins had made that night in The Cosmopolitan Lounge. They also prodded me for every detail about the weekend I'd just spent with Jeanne in San Francisco. When I was finished Amy looked at Mel and said; "Now I understand why you were so eager to get to know Michael better." Mel said; "He's an interesting man, isn't he." "Yes he is." "Would one of you please explain why this situation I'm in makes me such an interesting man?" Amy said, "Michael it's not the situation, it's the way you're responding to it. You're actually listening to Jeanne. You're trying to understand. You're making an effort to find a way to stay together. Most men would have kicked Jeanne to the curb. Some of them would have slapped her around first. What was it you said when you talked about her dating that Trent guy? Oh yes, you told us that you realized that if Trent fucked Jeanne in the ass it really wouldn't diminish you as a man at all. Michael, that is an amazingly insightful statement. I've already fallen madly in love with you." "I have too." Mel was smiling. "You're both embarrassing me." Laughing, Mel said; "Tough titty cuckboy." "What?" Amy kissed my cheek and said; "She's just teasing you. You should be flattered. Mel only teases people she likes." "That's right." Mel was still smiling. I smiled back at her. There was a moment of silence and then I said; "Okay, I told you my story in detail. Now I think it's only fair for you to tell me yours. I want you to hear how the two of you met." Staring at me, Mel said; "That's pretty close to asking me why I became a stripper." "Okay, you're right, but I ask you this question. Do you really believe I'm going to judge you?" Shaking her head, Mel said; "No Michael, I don't." Amy said, "Mel, it's a fair question. I'll start. When you feel comfortable you can join in." "Okay." Amy thought for a moment and then she said; "I was born in Kansas City, Missouri. While I've never met my father I know he was rich. My mother told me about him. His father owned several car dealerships in Kansas City. He dated my mother during the summer after they graduated from high school. My mom was attracted to his wealth. He drove a fancy sports car, wore expensive clothes, bought my mom expensive presents and took her to fancy restaurants. He was looking for an easy piece of ass. My mom gave it to him. By the end of the summer she was pregnant." Picking up the pitcher, Amy poured the remaining beer into our three mugs. I asked, "Do we need another pitcher?" Mel said. "Fuck yes, we might need four or five more." Amy and I both smiled. Maggie was standing next to the cash register talking to Becky. I called, "Maggie" and held up the empty pitcher. She nodded and hurried into the bar. Amy took a sip of her beer and continued. "When my dad's dad found out that my mom was pregnant he went nuts. He was afraid that his son's life was going to be ruined. First they tried to persuade my mom to get an abortion. She was Catholic, so that was out of the question. Realizing that plan wasn't going to work they decided to try to buy their way out of the problem. There was a lot of negotiating. They finally reached an agreement. They paid my mother fifty thousand dollars and found her a job as a cocktail waitress in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. In exchange she agreed to absolve my father of any paternity responsibilities." Maggie brought the fresh pitcher of beer. I filled our three mugs. Amy continued. "The fifty thousand dollars covered the hospital costs for my birth and left my mom with a nice down payment on a town house in Eau Claire. After that she was on her own. She dated lots of men, but none of them were interested in assuming the responsibility of raising another man's child. My mom was a good mother, but she was barely getting by. After I graduated from high school she made it clear that while she would always love me, I was now on my own. I loved to dance and I thought I was good at it. My dream was to become a professional dancer, so that June I took a Greyhound bus to Las Vegas. I was going to be a chorus girl." Amy took a long sip of her beer and then she looked at Mel. "You're turn." Closing her eyes, Mel took a deep breath and started. "I was born on Chicago's south side. I've never met my father either. My mother didn't even know his full name. Everyone called him Andre, that was all she ever knew. She met him at a party. She was eighteen. He was older, a lot older. He flashed a little money and did some smooth talking. They left the party together. He took her to a couple of clubs and then he fucked her in the back seat of his car. Six weeks later she realized that she was pregnant." I nodded. Mel continued. "Five years after I was born my mom actually met a nice guy. They got married and had two boys together. He took care of me and treated me good, but I wasn't his kid. When I turned eighteen it was time to go. I had the same dream Amy had. I wanted to be a dancer and I did the same thing she did. I took a Greyhound bus to Las Vegas" Amy said, "We met at an audition for a new show they were putting together for Caesar's Palace. There were four openings in the chorus. There must have been three hundred girls there. Mel and I were seated next to each other. We had to wait all day for our opportunity to dance. That gave us a lot of time to talk. When it was finally our turn we each got one minute to perform. After we were finished they just said next. We were ushered out of the room without any comments. Shaking her head, Mel said; "We were pretty disappointed, but we'd spent the day talking and we'd become friends. I had a tiny apartment. My step dad was sending me a little money. Amy was living in kind of an unusual situation so I invited her to stay with me." "I was living with a middle aged black jack dealer. He worked at one of the downtown casinos. He fed me and let me stay in his apartment. In exchange I gave him a blow job every day before he went to work." I said, "That must have been difficult." "No it really wasn't. He was a sweet guy." Amy paused for a moment and then she said; "Michael, I love giving head. I always have. I first realized it while I was still in high school." She laughed. "My senior year I was pretty popular. Like I said; Vince, that was the black jack dealers name, was a sweet guy. I enjoyed sucking him off and he taught me how to give a top notch blow job. The problem was that I'd lived with him for a couple of months. We were getting tired of each other. When Mel offered to let me stay at her place I jumped at it. Vince and I remained friends. Mel got to know him too. I still call him every couple of weeks."

I took Simone's hand. As she pulled me to my feet she noticed the folded handkerchief on the couch next to me. Picking it up, she said; "We'd better take this with us. We wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea about what you and Chantel were doing in here." And then she led me out of the VIP room. We sat down at a table next to the stage. Chantel was still on her first song. They played long songs at Danny's Lounge. When you bought a lap dance you got your money's worth. We watched. After a moment Simone said, "She's really good. She's a much better dancer than I am." Turning to me she quickly added; "I don't mean to imply that I'm bad. I'm not. I'm just saying that Chantel is very good." "Are you a dancer too?" Smiling, Simone said; "Yes." She paused for a moment and then she shook her head and said; "I'm sorry, of course your confused. I'm wearing street clothes. Yes, I'm a dancer too, but my shift just ended. I've already changed. Chantel's shift will be over as soon as she's finished dancing and then she'll change into her street clothes too." "I'm sorry, I didn't understand. I should be leaving. I'm sure you'll both want to go home." I stood up. Simone reached out and gently grabbed my arm. "No baby please don't leave. Chantel really likes you. She asked me to keep you here until she's finished dancing and changing her clothes." "Are you sure? I don't want to impose." Smiling, Simone said; "I'm beginning to see why Chantel finds you so attractive. Michael, you're not imposing. Chantel wants to get to know you. Frankly, now I do too." "You're sure?" "Yes, I'm very sure." "Okay." I sat down again. As soon as I was settled I said; "I don't understand. Why does your shift end so early? Men are just getting off work. I would think that this place is about to get a lot busier and you're leaving." "You're right, it is; but our clientele are all at home now." "I still don't understand." "Michael, Tucson is an unusual city. While it does have some industry, it doesn't have a lot. What it does have is an air force base, the University of Arizona and a beautiful climate. The climate draws people who are retired. Tucson is a retirement community." "Okay." "You're absolutely right, Danny's is about to fill up with young guys getting off work, guys from the air force base and college students. Mostly they come to have a few beers and watch the girls on the stage. They can't afford to buy very many lap dances. Usually they'll buy one just before they leave. Since they've been drinking they're generally a little handy. Chantel and I don't mind if a guy feels us up while were doing a lap dance, but we don't want him trying to finger fuck us." I smiled. Simone nodded towards a girl in her early twenties who was talking to a young man three tables away from us. "When those guys do buy a dance, they usually buy it from one of the girls her age." "I see." "Danny's opens at 11:30. In most cities you won't find many strip clubs that open that early. In Tucson it pays. Starting at 11:30 we get a steady stream of retired men looking for a little discreet fun. They're polite, they have money and they're looking for women who are a little more mature. Those men are our clientele. By four o'clock they're all on their way home to have dinner with their wives. That's why Chantel and I always end our shift at five." "Okay, now I understand." Chantel's second song ended. She picked up her brassiere and a few one dollar bills that had been left on the stage for her and walked over to our table. "I see the two of you have met." Simone said; "Yes we have. I just explained to Michael why we work here." Looking at me, Chantel said; "Really." I nodded. She said; "Are you interested in having dinner with two strippers who cater to the geriatric set?" Grinning, I said; "I can't think of anything that would make me happier." "I'll go change my clothes. I'll be back in ten minutes. Don't talk about anything interesting while I'm gone." Chantel turned and hurried to the dressing room. As soon as she was gone Simone said; "I guess that limits our conversation." Shaking my head, I said; "Not really, I'm an accountant. As a group were considered to be extraordinarily dull." Simone laughed. "Michael, you're not living up to your profession's reputation." "I'll take that as a compliment." "It was meant as one." "I gather that you and Chantel are friends." "We're moving into an area of conversation that might be considered interesting." "Let's risk it." "Okay, we're close friends, very close friends. We're actually talking about going to one of the states that allow gay marriage so we can make our bond legal." Simone stared at me. Not knowing exactly what to say, I smiled. Simone said; "Does that shock you?" "No it doesn't, but it does make me wonder why you're sitting here with me." "Michael, we don't dislike men. It's just that neither of us has ever been able to have a successful relationship with one." I smiled. Simone smiled back and said; "We actually both love the equipment you were born with, it's just that we've had too many relationships with men who turned out to be assholes. A serious relationship is based on trust and Chantel is the only person I've ever been able to trust." "This sounds like an interesting conversation." I turned. Chantel was standing behind me. She was now dressed in a pair of skin tight western jeans, a cowboy belt and a chambray western shirt tied off just below her large breasts. Simone said, "Michael asked about the extent of our friendship. I answered him truthfully" "As you should." Turning to me, Chantel asked; "Would you like to have dinner with a couple of dykes?" "Dyke's, that's kind of a harsh word; but yes I would love to have dinner with the two of you." Chantel looked at Simone. "Bobby's?" "That's a long drive for him." They both turned to me. Simone said; "Bobby's is our favorite restaurant. It' a barbecue place. The food is wonderful, but it's in Catalina. That's about a thirty minute drive north of here." Shrugging, I said; "That's all right with me. It'll give me a chance to see more of the city." "Let's go." Chantel turned and walked towards the door. Laughing as we stood up to follow her, Simone said; "That girl loves barbecue." In the parking lot Chantel said; "Amy you ride with Michael. We don't want him to get lost." Simone answered, "That's a good idea Mel." I looked at them. "Amy? Mel?" Chantel laughed. "I guess it's time for proper introductions. Michael, I'm Melody Adams, but everyone calls me Mel." She gestured towards Simone. "And this is Amy Cooper." "Amy, Mel it's nice to meet you; I'm Michael Nolan." Amy said; "So Michael Nolan, which of these fine automobiles belongs to you? I'm just as hungry as Mel." "The silver Escape." "Let's go. Mel, we'll follow you." Mel got into a red Jeep Cherokee. An older model, it was an SUV that's become a classic. It was in immaculate condition. Amy and I got into my Escape and followed her out of the parking lot. The trip was fun. As we drove Amy provided me with a running narrative about Tucson. We crossed the Rillito. To me it looked like a dry river bed, but Amy told me that during the monsoon rains in August and again during the mountain snow melt in March it actually was a river. After we crossed the Rillito we drove up into the foothills of the Santa Catalina Mountains. Amy explained that Tucson was ringed by five mountain ranges; the Santa Ritas in the south, the Rincons in the east, the Tucson Mountains in the west, the Santa Catalinas in the north and in the northwest the Tortilita Mountains. We drove west along the southern edge of the Santa Catalinas Mountains until we reached a street called Oracle. There we turned north and drove along the western edge of Pusch Ridge. Pusch Ridge was a ragged backbone of steep rock that formed the southwest corner of the Santa Catalinas. After passing through a suburb called Oro Valley we entered what looked like a sleepy little ranch town. This was Catalina. While there was the traditional feed store and hardware store, just south of the town we'd passed a new super market and a new chain drug store. Clearly Catalina was now more than a sleepy little ranch town. I also noticed at least six restaurants. I found it particularly interesting that all of their parking lots were full. Amy said, "That's Bobby's Barbecue ahead on the right." Bobby's was a rustic looking concrete block building that was clearly a holdover from the days when Catalina really was a sleepy ranch town. Mel was already turning into the nearly full parking lot. She found two open spots along the side of the building. She took one, we parked next to her. As we walked to the restaurant door I asked; "How does this little town support all of these restaurants?" Mel said, "Catalina is surrounded by several large retirement housing developments." "I see." We entered the restaurant and were immediately greeted by the hostess. She was an attractive woman in her early forties. "Hi Mel. Hi Amy. Who's your handsome friend?" "Becky, this is Michael Nolan. Michael this is our good friend Becky Raymond." Becky asked, "Are you here for dinner or are you just stopping for a beer?" Amy said; "We're here for dinner." "Follow me, I have an open booth." As we followed Becky to our booth Mel said; "It's Monday. If it was Thursday, Friday or Saturday we'd have to wait in the bar for at least a half hour before we could get a booth." When we reached our booth Becky laid three menus on the table and said, "Do you want your usual from the bar?" Mel looked at me and asked; "Michael, do you drink beer?" "I love beer." Amy grinned. "Our kind of guy." Mel turned back to Becky, "Yes Becky, please bring us our usual." Becky left for the bar. "Amy you can sit with Michael. I got to play with him all afternoon." Amy slid into the booth. As I slid in next to her I asked; "Are you planning to molest me during dinner?" She placed her hand on my crotch and gave my penis a firm squeeze. "Damn right." Laughing, I said; "This is going to be an interesting meal." Leering at me, Mel said; "Michael honey, this is just the beginning of what I hope is going to turn out to be a very interesting evening." I was trying to think of a witty response when a girl who was maybe twenty or twenty-one showed up with a pitcher of beer and three frosted mugs.

Taking a deep breath I said; "Chantel, Jeanne likes to be naughty with other men." "And you're okay with that? I mean it says here, 'I love it when she's naughty'." Sighing, I looked away. Suddenly Chantel shook her head and said; "Of course, now I get it. This is the cause of the rift. This is why you're traveling." I nodded. "But you were willing to see her this weekend. She's trying to repair the rift, but you bought this pendant. She's still not giving up the other men." "She offered to do that, but I know that isn't what she wants." "You're afraid that she's going to cheat on you." "No, I'm afraid that she's going to grow to resent me." "Because you're keeping her from doing what she really wants to do." "Yes." "And you don't want to divorce her." "Jeanne's the love of my life." "So you're trying to learn to accept her infidelity." Sighing, I said; "There's more to it than that." "Tell me." I took a moment to gather my courage and then I said; "When I think about Jeanne with other men I get excited." "And that's hard for you to accept, isn't it." "Yeah." "Michael, you really are a lovely man." "What makes you say that?" "I've known a lot of men. More than you can probably imagine. I'm quite certain that most of them would feel the same excitement you're feeling, but they'd be ashamed about those feelings." "But that's exactly..." "Yes, I understand. You're trying to cope with feelings of shame too, but Michael you're actually trying to cope with those feelings. Most men would adopt a facade of false bravado. They'd kick the love of their life to the curb. They might even do her physical harm and the only reason they'd be doing it is to protect their fragile egos. You're actually trying to work out a compromise solution that meets the needs of both you and your wife. Baby, I'm beginning to realize that you are a truly magnificent man." "I'm a cuckold." "That's only an ugly word if you make it an ugly word." "Chantel, I don't know." Chantel slipped the chain and pendant over my head. After tucking the pendant back under my shirt she said; "Baby lie back and close your eyes. It's time for Chantel to weave her magic." I smiled, but I didn't move. I was too tense. The conversation about Jeanne had raised all of my insecurities and fears. "Lie back and close your eyes. Don't argue with me." Chantel's voice was soft and soothing. At that moment she reminded me of Jeanne. I closed my eyes, lay back and tried to relax. I felt Chantel unzipping my trousers. She whispered, "Michael I want to see your cock. Can I take it out?" "Won't that get you into trouble?" "I know how to be discreet." "Okay, you can take it out." I chuckled. "Hell, I'd love it if you took it out." I felt Chantel slip her hand inside my trousers. She wrapped her fingers around my partially erect penis and then it was free. "Michael you have a magnificent cock. I love it." "It's not very big." "It's big enough. Baby only fools equate size with quality. Wiser people understand that a small serving of fine chocolate mousse can be much more pleasurable than a huge dish of cheap ice cream. Michael you're a beautiful man with a beautiful cock. It is so very desireable." I smiled. Chantel knew exactly what to say to make a man feel good about himself. Chantel stroked me for a moment. When I was fully erect she slipped my cock back into my trousers and pulled herself up on the couch. Straddling me she stood up and raised the hem of her short white lace skirt. Her shaved cunt was inches from my face. "Michael, I'm going to suck your cock, but first I want you to eat me. Will you do that? Will you lick Chantel's pretty black pussy." "Is that a choice here?" "For you it is." "I would love to do it. Why don't you sit down." "No baby, we have to do it like this. That way if someone comes in I can pretend that I'm doing a lap dance for you." "More like a face dance." I was grinning. Chantel laughed. "That's true, but it would be a lot harder to explain why I was sitting on the couch and you were kneeling between my legs with your face buried in my cunt." "Yeah, I guess you're right." "Are you ready?" "Oh yes." Placing her hands behind my head, Chantel pulled my face into her cunt. As she did that she said; "I love a man who enjoys giving head to a woman." She was wet, very wet. I kissed her and then for the first time in over twenty-seven years I licked a woman other than Jeanne. At first I felt guilty, but then I remembered that it was likely that tonight or tomorrow night Jeanne would go to Brady's Pub. She'd meet a man there. They'd flirt and dance with each other for a little while and then they'd go out to his car where Jeanne would give him a blow job while he played with her tits. I gave Chantel's cunt a long slow kiss and then I found her engorged clitoris, sucked it into mouth and started flicking it with my tongue. She gasped. "Michael, that feels wonderful. Where the fuck did you learn to do that? I thought only women did that." Placing my hands on Chantel's full round ass I pulled her even more tightly to my face and continued sucking and flicking her clit. Suddenly Chantel pushed me away and stepped off of the couch. "Michael that feels really good, but if I let you keep doing it you're going to make me cum. I'm a screamer. We can't do that in here." Chuckling, I said; "Okay, I understand." "We really can't. I'll get in trouble." Chantel was just a little bit indignant. "I told you that I understand, but I do have to point out that when you're miffed you're really quite attractive." I was still chuckling. Rolling her eyes, Chantel said; "Would you please be serious." "If you insist." Shaking her head, Chantel said; "Michael you really can be a frustrating man, but I have to admit that it makes you ever so intriguing." I shrugged. "I get it from my dad." "Shut up and lie back. I'm going to suck your cock and I don't want to hear a peep out of you while I'm doing it." "Yes ma'am." "That's much better." We grinned at each other. I was beginning to really like Chantel and I sensed that she liked me too. Chantel positioned herself between my legs and took my cock back out of my pants. Looking up at me, she asked; "Do you have a handkerchief?" "Yes." "Give it to me. I won't let you cum in my mouth and I don't want you to make a mess on your pants." I took my handkerchief out of my back pocket. As I handed it to Chantel, she said; "When you feel yourself getting ready to cum give me a heads up." "I will." Chantel put my cock in her mouth and started sucking me. She was good, very good. That was to be expected. She was a pro. What did surprise me was that Jeanne was just as good. In the three short months I'd been away from home my wife had learned how to give a professional caliber blow job. What surprised me even more was the realization that it didn't bother me. In fact it not only didn't bother me, I found it exciting. I was beginning to understand that I enjoyed having a hot wife. The amazing sensations that Chantel was creating with her mouth, tongue and hands combined with my illicit but thrilling thoughts about my hot wife to quickly bring me to the brink of orgasm. As I felt the warm sensations building in my loins I whispered, "Chantel I'm about to cum." Smiling she took my cock out of her mouth, covered it with my handkerchief and looked up at me. Lasciviously staring into my eyes she slowly pumped the shaft of my erection. "Cum for me baby. Do it." I did and it was wonderful. Chantel continued pumping my cock while I ejaculated into the handkerchief. When she finally felt my erection beginning to soften she cleaned me with the handkerchief, folded it neatly and laid it on the couch next to me. Then she put my flaccid penis back in my pants. As she zipped me up she asked; "Did you enjoy that baby?" "It was wonderful. You're very skilled." Laughing, Chantel said; "That wasn't the first blow job I've ever given." "I kind of figured that." "It's fun to do it for someone I like." I smiled. Suddenly Chantel turned towards the bar room and listened. I watched her. After a moment she turned to me and said; "Michael, I'm sorry; that's my song. I'm supposed to be on the stage." She stood up and found her thong and brassiere. After quickly putting them on she said; "Baby please wait for me. I only have to dance for two songs." And then she grabbed her shoes and hurried out of the VIP room. I sat back on the couch and took a deep breath. While the past hour had been unbelievably exciting it had also been intense. A brief respite was welcome. I was just starting to relax when the door to the VIP room opened and a tall slender blonde walked in. She was dressed in skin tight jeans and a white crop top that barely concealed her large breasts. She was wearing high heeled sandals. I noticed a tattoo on her right ankle. I looked at it. It was a bird, a song bird. She walked directly over to me and said; "Hi Michael, I'm Simone. Chantel asked me to take care of you while she's dancing." She extended her hand. "Come on, let's go find a table and watch her."

Grinning, Chantel sat down and put her arm around my shoulder. Her large brassiere covered breasts were now inches from my face. "You have me at a disadvantage. Connie told you that my name is Chantel, but I don't know your name." "My name is Michael." "Michael? Not Mike?" "I prefer Michael." "Actually I do too." I smiled. Chantel said; "So Michael, can I interest you in a dance?" As she asked, she leaned over and rubbed her large breasts in my face. Chuckling, I asked; "How much does a dance cost?" "Ten dollars here and fifteen dollars if we move to one of the couches." "Let's move to the couches." Standing up, Chantel picked up my two Diet Pepsis. I said, "One is enough." and then I started to walk towards the closest couch. It was near the entrance. Chantel said; "Michael." I stopped and turned. As she set one of the Diet Pepsis back on the table, she said; "Let's go to the couches on the far wall." She nodded towards a man in a sports jacket standing by the bar. "Do you see that man over there?" "Yes." "His job is to make sure that nothing overt happens in here. We can have fun, but we have to be discreet. The couches near the entrance are well lit and closely scrutinized." Chantel leaned over and whispered, "That's where we take the guys who are drunk." Smiling, I said; "I understand. Let's go to the couches on the back wall." "What a good idea." Chantel took my hand with her free hand and led me to our couch. I sat down. Chantel set my drink down on the end table to my left and sat down on the couch next to me. Laying her hand on my thigh, she said; "Let's wait for the next song." And then slipping her hand inside my thigh, Chantel asked; "Michael, do you live in Tucson?" Realizing that I was being vetted, I answered; "No, in fact I just got here today." "Really? Are you here on business?" "No, I guess you could say that I'm on a combination sightseeing and golf tour of the United States." "How are you managing that? You're not old enough to be retired." "I'm an accountant. I have my own business." "And you can afford to leave it?" "I have good assistants." Smiling, Chantel said; "You're a lucky man. What about your wife? You told me that you have two grown daughters. How does she feel about this trip you're taking?" "We're having some differences right now." "Is that why you're taking this trip?" "Yes." Chantel slipped her hand over to my cock and gave it a gentle squeeze. Apparently I'd passed the test. Leaning over she nuzzled my neck and whispered; "I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to pry. I just need to know who you are." "I understand." "Are you ready for your dance?" "Yes." Standing up, Chantel reached behind her back and unfastened her brassiere. After tossing it on the end table she climbed on top of me and pressed her naked breasts into my face. At the same time she picked up my hands. Placing them on her body she said; "I like you Michael. You can touch me anywhere, anywhere at all." And then the dance started. Chantel rubbed her breasts in my face. I sucked one of her nipples into my mouth and kissed and licked it. She reached between my legs and caressed my cock and balls. It was already the most amazing lap dance I'd ever imagined, but then Chantel climbed up so she was standing on the couch straddling me. She raised the hem of her short skirt. She was wearing a white lace thong. Pulling it aside, she said; "Look at my pretty black pussy. Do you like it baby?" "Very much." Giggling, Chantel slid off of me and kneeled between my legs. Cupping my erect cock between her hands, she leaned over and rubbed her lips and nose against it. I gasped. My erection was covered by my pants, but it still felt good. Winking at me she asked; "Do you like that baby?" "Very much." Chantel pulled herself up on to the couch. Sitting next to me, she laid her hand on my now very erect cock. As she slowly massaged it, she whispered; "I liked it too." Grinning, I said; "You're really good at this." "You're a nice guy. Nice guys get my best effort." "This one appreciates it." "I like you Michael." "I like you too Chantel." I paused. Chantel looked at me. After a moment she said; "Michael you want to ask me something, don't you." I nodded. She smiled. "I love shy men. Do you want to know about the VIP room?" "Yes." "You have to pay the bar twenty dollars to get in, but that covers you until we close tonight." I nodded. "And dances are twenty-five dollars each." "Okay." Giggling Chantel said; "That not what you wanted to know, is it." Feeling a little chagrined, I shook my head. "Michael, you really are a gem. Okay, these are my personal rules. I won't let you fuck me and I won't let you put your finger in my cunt or my ass. I have to have a pretty good understanding with a guy before I'll let him do any of those things to me." "That makes sense." "But there are still a lot of fun things we can do. The man in the sports jacket never comes into the VIP room. "Would you like to try it?" "Yes, I think I would." Chantel stood up. Picking up her brassiere and my Diet Pepsi, she said; "Let's go." She started walking towards the VIP room. I stood up and followed her. As we passed the bar Chantel caught the waitresses eye. She hurried over to us. Stopping, Chantel turned to me and said; "Give Connie twenty dollars." I took out my money clip, peeled off a twenty dollar bill and then added another five. As I handed it to Connie she said to Chantel; "Your new friend is a generous man." "He is and you know how much I enjoy rewarding generosity." Chantel was grinning. Connie winked at me. "You're going to have a very good time." I smiled. "Come on baby." Chantel opened the door to the VIP room, grabbed my hand and tugged me inside. The room was about the size of a living room in a moderately priced house. It was furnished with eight couches and end tables similar to the couches and end tables that ringed the bar room. Chantel led me to the couch in the far corner of the room. "I like this one, it's private." "Okay." As soon as we sat down I took out my money clip and peeled off ten twenty dollar bills. Handing them to Chantel, I said; "This should be enough to cover the dance we just had in the other room, several dances in here and a nice tip." Chantel took the bills. As she put them in a small wallet she was carrying, she said; "This will cover more than that." "My intention was to give you enough so that for a little while at least, we wouldn't have to worry about money." Staring at me, Chantel said; "Michael you're a very interesting man. I like you." She laughed, "Suddenly I feel like I'd like to return your money and give you a freebie." Shaking my head, I said; "No, don't do that." "You're turning a freebie down?" "Yeah, I guess I am. Chantel, while it's fun to pretend otherwise; this is business transaction. You provide a service and I'm buying it. You happen to be a nice person so this transaction is turning out to be a lot of fun for me." "It's turning out to be a lot of fun for both of us." "I believe you and that makes me happy." Chantel smiled. Smiling back, I said; "Think about this. Imagine that you're an architect and I hired you to design a house for me. While we're working on the design we become friends. Should I expect you to return your fee?" Shaking her head, Chantel said, "No, of course not." "I agree, but maybe after we finish the design we might have a cup of coffee together." "Michael are you asking me out?" "I'm not that presumptuous, but I am wondering if after we're finished you might be willing to sit at a table with me for a few minutes and just talk." "I'd like that very much." While we were talking Chantel had been busily untucking my shirt. Leaning over, she brushed her lips along my neck and whispered, "It's time to play." At the same time I felt her hand slip under my shirt. Her roving fingers quickly found my left nipple. She gave it a little tweak. I gasped. Giggling, she asked; "Do you like that baby?" Breathless with excitement, I nodded. "Let's try the other one." As Chantel moved her hand to my other nipple she brushed the chain for my new pendant, the pendant Jeanne and I had just purchased at the sex shop in San Francisco. She paused for a moment and then she asked, "Michael are you wearing a religious medal?" Embarrassed I groped for an answer. While I was thinking Chantel said; "That's really none of my business. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry." Suddenly I realized that I didn't need to hide anything from this woman. It was highly unlikely that she would be judgmental about either Jeanne's adventurous behavior or my growing acceptance of it. If it turned out that she was it was unlikely that I'd ever see her again. Smiling I said, "It's okay, you can ask me anything. If I don't want to answer a question I'll tell you." "I like that Michael. You can do the same thing with me." She paused for a moment and then she added; "But can I ask for a favor?" "Of course." "Please don't ask me how I got into this business. That question feels so judgmental to me." "I won't, I promise." "Thank you." "Besides, it would be awfully hypocritical for me to get judgmental about your profession. After all, I am here enjoying your services." Grinning, Chantel said; "Michael the more I get to know you the more I like you." "I like you too Chantel." "I'm glad." "It's not a religious medal. It's a silver pendant with an inscription on it. My wife and I bought it this past weekend in San Francisco." "You were with your wife last weekend?" "Yes." "You told me you were having difficulties. That's why you're traveling." "That's true, but last weekend Jeanne flew to San Francisco so she could see me. She's trying to repair the rift." "What does the pendant say? I pulled it out from under my shirt, slipped the chain over my head and handed it to Chantel. "You can read it yourself." While the VIP room wasn't dark it wasn't well lit either. Chantel held the pendant up close to her eyes. After a moment she said; "It says, 'I love it when she's naughty.' Michael what does that mean? What does your wife do that's naughty?" She looked at me for a moment and then she asked; "Michael do you like to spank your wife?"

Awakenings Ch. 08 That night I stayed at a Motel 6 outside of Palm Springs, California. There was a steak house near the motel. I had a small sirloin and a salad for dinner. After dinner I returned to my motel and logged on to the Internet. There was an email from Jeanne. I opened it. "Dear Michael, I am safely at home. Thank you for a wonderful weekend. As soon as I arrived home I called the girls and told them about our plans for Christmas. They're both excited and certain they can arrange the time off of work. Paul will be coming too. If we can get the tickets we thought we would fly down on Christmas eve and return home on New Year's Day. Will that work for you? When I hear from you I'll make the airline reservations. I miss you already. I love you so much. Thanksgiving is going to be lonely without you. I'll call you at the end of the week. Love Jeanne" I wrote back "Dear Jeanne, Thank you for letting me know that you arrived safely at home. I would have worried. I'm happy that the girls are excited about Christmas in San Antonio. My schedule is wide open so those dates are fine with me. Go ahead and buy the airline tickets. Because this will be the peak holiday traveling time the seats are going to be expensive, so why don't you fly first class. I'll call Ruth in the morning and have her transfer some extra money to your checking account. I'll try to make the hotel reservations tomorrow morning. I had a wonderful weekend too. Thank you. Love Michael" After sending the email I decided it was time to investigate the cuckold websites. I googled the word cuckold. I found several definitions, but then I saw an ad for a web site. I clicked on the link. It opened. You could be a member, but I quickly realized that you could read much of the content without joining. There was a story section. I opened it and found a full page of cuckold oriented stories. I started perusing them. They were all by amateur writers, some were more skillfully written than others. They also dealt with a wide range of fantasies. It was immediately obvious that Jeanne had been correct. For many men sexual domination seemed to be part of the cuckold fantasy. I skimmed several stories. While I didn't find the sexual domination and humiliation in them particularly appealing they were still interesting. They reinforced my growing belief that the sexual fantasies and practices of consenting adults are nobody else's business. The site also showed the number of times each story had been viewed. The numbers were in the thousands. Clearly, there were a large number of people who were at least curious about the cuckold fantasy. It was after midnight when I finally shut off my computer and went to sleep. The next morning I drove south to Tucson, Arizona. I arrived in the middle of the afternoon. It was Monday, November 19th. The sun was shining and the temperature was 84 degrees. As I parked in front of a Motel 6 I decided that Tucson would be my home for the next month. After checking into the motel and unloading my gear I I decided to do a little exploring. About a mile from my motel I found two municipal golf courses and a driving range. I also found a steak house, several interesting looking Mexican restaurants and an IHOP. I had everything I needed. On the way back to my motel I passed a bar, Danny's Lounge. A neon sign above the door caught my attention. In simple block letters it read; "Exotic Dancers Monday through Saturday noon to 2:00 AM". I'm a voyeur. I love looking at naked women. Prior to marrying Jeanne I regularly enjoyed strip clubs. Marriage, manhood and concern about my standing in the community caused me to abandon that pleasure. Other than a couple of stag parties, I hadn't set foot inside a strip club since Jeanne and I got engaged. Out of habit I continued driving, but I wanted to stop. For the past twenty-seven years every time I passed a strip club I've wanted to stop. I didn't, not even once. I always resisted the temptation. Now as I drove back to my motel I asked myself why I didn't stop. I didn't have a reasonable answer for that question. Loyalty to my wife? She was regularly giving blow jobs to men she met at Brady's Pub. Concern about what people might think? I was almost two thousand miles away from home. The opinion of my daughters? They were both avowed devotees of free love and I'd just learned that my oldest was a dominatrx. Unable to think of a single valid reasons not to stop I turned right at the next corner and circled back to Danny's Lounge. It was four o'clock in the afternoon. There were maybe a dozen cars in the parking lot. Excited, I parked and walked into the bar. Inside I was greeted by a large, broad shouldered young man who looked like he could have played linebacker in the NFL. "I'm sorry, I have to pat you down." Surprised, I asked; "Are you worried about weapons?" Shaking his head he answered; "Nah, cell phone cameras; the girls don't want to end up on You Tube." I laughed. "Okay, I left my phone in the car." After giving my pockets a quick pat, he said; "Go on in and have a good time." "Is there a cover charge." "Only on Friday and Saturday nights after 5:00." "All right." I went into the bar. It was dark. I took a moment to let my eyes get used to the lack of light and then I surveyed the place. On the left side of the room two young women and five men were sitting at a horse shoe shaped bar. A stage filled the center of the room. The stage was actually two adjacent ovals. The first stage had a stripper pole. A young blonde wearing only a G string was twirling around the pole. There was a small wooden chair on the stage nearest to me. A young black girl, also wearing only a g string was sitting on the chair. Her legs were spread wide. She was lasciviously rubbing her cunt. A middle aged man was standing next to the stage in front of her. He was holding a five dollar bill. There were about two dozen small round tables surrounding the stage. Each table had two or three chairs. Six of the tables were occupied by lone middle aged men. Four of the men had young women sitting in their laps. The other two were watching the girls on the two stages. The outer walls of the bar were lined with brown vinyl couches separated by end tables. Four men, all middle aged were discreetly spaced on the couches getting lap dances. In the far left corner of the bar there was a glass door. Above the door a neon sign read, "VIP Room". I found a table and sat down. As soon as I was seated a young woman in a short skirt and skimpy blouse carrying a tray came over to me and asked; "What can I get you to drink?" "How about a Diet Coke." "Is Pepsi okay?" "It'll be just fine." "I'll be right back." She hurried off to the bar. A moment later a slender young blonde approached me. She couldn't have been older than twenty. She said, "Hi sweetie, my name is Candy. Would you like some company?" Candy was a pretty girl, but I had two daughters older than she was. Shaking my head, I said; "Thank you, but I think I'll just watch for a little while." Smiling, she said; "Okay, if you change your mind give me a wave." "I'll do that." She walked away. A moment later the waitress returned with my Pepsi. Actually it was two Pepsis. As she set them on my table she said; "It's happy hour, they're two for one. That will be six dollars." I smiled. She shrugged. "You didn't have to pay a cover." My dad taught me that the first time you go to a new hotel or restaurant it pays to spread a little money around. Smiling, I said; "You're absolutely right." I handed her a twenty dollar bill and said; "The change is for you." Grinning, the waitress gave me back a ten and four ones and then she lifted her skirt. She pulled the crotch of her thong out exposing her shaved pussy and said; "Nice guys get to put their tips in here." As I folded the bills and slipped them behind the crotch of her panties, I said; "Clearly it pays to be nice." She kissed my cheek and whispered; "Honey in this place that's very true." And then she added; "We have several women here who love middle aged men. I'll make sure one of them stops to see you." Behind me a voice said; "Connie, I'm already here." Connie smiled. "This is Chantel. She'll take very good care of you." I turned. Chantel was a tall slender black woman. Her smooth skin was the shade of rich coffee laced with cream. Her long hair reddish brown hair was pulled back into a pony tail. She wore a white lace brassiere that barely contained her large breasts and a matching white lace skirt that couldn't have been more than six inches long. I gawked. Smiling, Chantel said; "You like my outfit." "Very much." "You told Candy that you just wanted to watch for a little while, but I'm wondering if you might prefer the company of an older woman." "I have two daughters older than Candy." "A man of principle, I like that. May I join you?" "Please do." Chantel walked around my table so that she was standing in front of me. "May I sit on your lap?" "Of course."

go sucks yourself and enjoy your rotten sperm

The BIGGEST mistake of your mother was she had an abortion

you are kidding BIG IDIOT!

"I do." "But you will be able to overcome your inhibitions just like I overcame mine." Jeanne quickly added; "Michael, when we're together I promise you that you're going to enjoy the best sex any man has ever experienced." "I already am. This weekend has been fantastic." "And it's still only Friday night." Grinning, I said; "I know that." "Do you want me to continue my dance?" My confidence restored, I said; "Yes I do." "Would like me to dance for you, or should I show you how I'm going to dance for Trent?" Rattled by the directness of Jeanne's question, I grinned at her stupidly. She giggled. "This is hard for you, isn't it." I nodded. In a soft, gentle voice Jeanne asked; "Would you like me to show you how I'm going to dance for Trent. It's okay, it's kinky, but so what? In fact I think that makes it even more fun." Jeanne had been my soul mate for twenty-seven years. Despite everything that had recently happened I loved her and I would continue to love her for the rest of my life. She understood me. When I was down she knew how to raise my spirits. When I was feeling insecure she knew how to boost my confidence. Her soothing voice calmed me. I knew what I wanted and I also knew that I didn't need to be ashamed to admit it to this wonderful woman. Smiling, I said; "I'd like you to show me how you're going to dance for Trent." Lasciviously licking my ear, Jeanne whispered; "Michael, you cannot believe how excited you just made me." Jeanne stood and started moving to the beat of the imaginary music again. More excited than ever, I watched intently. As she once again started inching her skirt up her thighs she said; "I'm going to tease him Michael. I'm going to try to drive him crazy with lust. Staring at the hem of her skirt as it slowly moved up Jeanne's thighs, I said; "You're doing a good job of it." Turning around Jeanne bent slightly at the waist. As she swayed her hips to the imaginary rhythm she pulled the hem of her skirt up over her rear exposing the gorgeous cheeks of her ass. She was wearing a black lace thong. I stared. "Do you think Trent will like my ass?" "I'm sure he will." "Do you think he'll want to fuck it?" "Oh yes." "Should I let him do it?" "Do you want him to do it?" "You know I do." "Then you should let him do it" Jeanne pulled her skirt up to her waist and moved back so she was standing between my legs. Still swaying her hips, she said; "Pull my panties down, just to my thighs. I want to keep them on a little longer." Breathless with excitement, I carefully pulled Jeanne's thong down her nylon stocking covered legs. As soon as I was finished Jeanne said; "Michael, rub my cunt, rub my cunt while I dance for Trent." Reaching between Jeanne's legs, I slipped my fingers into her sex. She was dripping wet. For a moment Jeanne let me rub her while she slowly swayed her hips, but then she suddenly stopped. Stepping away, she turned around so she was facing me. Standing perfectly still, her large breasts fully @@@@@@@, her skirt bunched up around her waist, her panties down around her thighs, the lips of her shaved cunt glistening with the moisture of her arousal; Jeanne smiled at me and asked; "Why am I so excited Michael? Tell me." Every bit as excited as Jeanne, I took a deep breath and answered; "Because you're thinking about the fun you're going to have with Trent Peters." As I said those words tiny pangs of jealousy pricked at my heart. They were overwhelmed by the excitement I was feeling, but they were there and they were unmistakeable. Shaking her head, Jeanne said; "No, that's not why I'm this excited. Yes, I admit that playing with Trent Peters will be fun, but it will never be as much fun as playing kinky sex games with you. Michael, you're the man I love. You will always be my favorite playmate." Once again Jeanne had demonstrated how well she knew and understood me. Her words vanquished the tiny pinpricks of jealousy that had been poking at my heart. Suddenly overwhelmed with love for this wonderful woman I grinned and said; "Thank you very much, I needed to hear that." "I know. I'm sorry I've created a situation where you do need to hear that." "That's okay, I'm enjoying this new life too and as long as you keep reassuring me I think we'll be all right." "I will Michael, I promise to give you all the reassurance you need." I smiled at Jeanne. Smiling back, she said; "I still have a wet pussy. Got any ideas about what we might do about that?" "I do, I have a really good idea. How would you like to sit on my face?" Jeanne grinned; "Baby, that's an invitation the new Jeanne will never refuse. Lie back and make yourself comfortable. Your slut wife is going to go for a ride." Giggling with excitement, she took off her panties and skirt. While Jeanne was doing that I took off my shirt and lay back on the bed. Once I was settled she got on the bed, straddled my face and sat down; pressing her sopping pussy into my lips, cheeks and nose. I started licking Jeanne. She cooed with delight and responded by rocking back and forth on my face. When she rocked forward I sucked on her clit and when she rocked back I licked her cunt and then her asshole. While I was doing that Jeanne pinched and pulled on her nipples. It was amazing. I felt like we were the main characters in an eighteenth century erotic epic. We were both crazed with unbridled lust. As Jeanne rocked back and forth she ground her cunt and her ass into my face. I wrapped my arms around her thighs and tried to bury my tongue even deeper inside her. Jeanne started laughing. "Michael, this is fucking amazing. I never dreamed that sex could be this much fun!" And then she arched her back and screamed. As she orgasmed, Jeanne's moisture flooded my face. Reveling in her arousal, I kissed her and licked her. I closed my eyes and passionately made out with her sex. Gradually Jeanne's orgasm subsided. Once she regained her composure she slid back so she was straddling my chest and took several long slow breaths. I watched her. After a moment she smiled at me and asked; "Wanna fuck?" The question and the way it had been posed was so incongruous with the old Jeanne that we both burst out laughing. Leaning down, Jeanne kissed me and said; "I guess I've changed." Still laughing, I said; "That would be the understatement of the year." "It's fun, isn't it?" "Yeah, it really is." "So do you?" "Damn right." "Can I stay on top?" "That's not what Trent would want." "Right now I don't give a damn about Trent. At this moment I only care about what we want." "I'd love it if you stayed on top." Jeanne slid farther back and reached behind her. As she guided my erect penis into her cunt, she said; "You can play with my tits while we fuck. You like doing that, don't you." I nodded. Jeanne began rocking back and forth on my cock. I reached up and started fondling her nipples. "I enjoy being on top." "I like it too." "Tell me why? What do you like about it?" "I can play with your tits and I can watch you." "You really do like to watch, don't you." "Yes I do." "I glad." Jeanne closed her eyes. We fell into a slow easy rhythm. As we fucked I watched Jeanne. All of her attention was focused on the pleasure we were creating for each other. She really had become a sensual woman. I marveled at the change. During the past year, my once prudish wife had evolved into a sexual lioness. Jeanne opened her eyes and saw me looking at her. "You're watching me." "Yes I am. You've always been beautiful, but now you're also sensual." "Do you like that?" "Yes I do." Closing her eyes again, Jeanne shifted her attention back to my cock. I watched as she rode me. After a moment she whispered; "Michael, I love to fuck, I really do. Is that okay?" "It's not just okay, it's wonderful." "I love fucking with you." "But you enjoy other men too." Opening her eyes again, Jeanne looked at me and said; "I'm sorry, but I do. The variety is thrilling." "I know." "Michael, I really have become a slut." "Does that ever make you unhappy?" Jeanne stopped rocking on my cock. Sitting perfectly still, she considered my question. Finally she said; "I'm happy that I've learned to enjoy sex and being a slut is amazingly exciting. I love it. No, I'm not unhappy about that, but I am unhappy that I hurt you." "While I'm over the hurt, I will admit that you're still causing me some stress." "I'm sorry." "Change causes stress, I think it's inevitable." "Do you think this will turn out to be a good change for you?" "It's looking pretty good right now." "What about when I'm with someone else?." "I think that has the potential to be good, but I'm not there yet. It's still going to take some time. Until I do get there, I suggest we try to live in the moment." Grinning, Jeanne said; "I like that plan. I'm sorry I got all serious." "We have to talk. It's essential if we're going to make this work." "Even while we're fucking?" Jeanne was giggling. "When you've got something to say you've gotta say it." Still giggling, Jeanne said; "Well I said what I had to say and now I'm done. Let's start fucking again." "I can do that." "Wanna gallop?" "When you're on top am I your horse?" "Is that too kinky for you?" Laughing, I said; "Too kinky? That doesn't even register on our kinky scale." "So do you wanna?" "Sure, why not." I paused for a moment and then I asked; "Isn't this going to be rammin and Jammin?" "When I'm on top and warmed up rammin and Jammin is good." "Apparently I need to read a manual." "We don't have one, but we could write one." "That would require extensive research and experimentation." "We'd have to set aside some weekends for that purpose only." "We'll need to sequester ourselves in a motel." "It will be physically exhausting." "That's true, but great achievements require intense effort." Grinning at me, Jeanne said, "I'm up to the challenge, are you?" "I am, but we'll need to train." "This is a good opportunity." "It is. Galloping would be a good training exercise, wouldn't it." "It's recommended by some of the sports most prominent authorities." "I didn't realize that this was a sanctioned sport." "Oh yes, the governing agency is the international federated union of copulating couples." "The IFUCC, yes I believe I've heard of it." We'd both been trying to keep straight faces, but with that Jeanne broke and burst out laughing. I immediately joined her. We hugged and then Jeanne said; "Michael I love you so much." "I know." "Do you? Even after everything I've done?" "Yeah, even then. Come on, let's gallop." "Okay." We did and it was amazing. Jeanne had two orgasms. The first time she came I tried to back off, but she didn't want a break. She just wanted to keep fucking. The second time she came we orgasmed together. After a short recess, Jeanne went down on me and expertly raised another erection. We finished the evening with a session of anal sex. While we were doing it I couldn't stop picturing Trent Peters enjoying the same pleasure with Jeanne. The image did create some angst for me, but I had to admit that it also added to the excitement. That night we both slept like babies. The next morning was Saturday. After showering together, we spent some time doing research for the oral sex chapter of our projected sex manual and then we dressed and went out for breakfast. After breakfast we drove north along the Pacific Coast Highway to The Point Reyes National Sea Shore. That night we had dinner at the sea food cafe. After dinner we returned to the motel and spent the rest of the evening making love. That day was just for us. We didn't talk about our problems. We didn't discuss other men. We simply enjoyed each other. It was a wonderful day. Sunday morning Jeanne's plane left 10:00. It was a hour drive to the San Francisco Airport, so we had to leave the motel at 7:30. On the way to the airport Jeanne said; "Thanksgiving is in two weeks. The girls and I are going to miss you." Nodding, I said; "I'm going to miss you too." "Christmas will be even worse." "We could spend Christmas together." "What about the girls?" "They could join us. We have over a month to make the plans." "Could we really do that?" "Why not? We have plenty of money." "Where would you want to meet?" "San Antonio, Texas is supposed to be a beautiful city." "Isn't that where they have the riverwalk?" "I believe it is." "Michael, I would love to do that." "I'd like it too." "I'll call the girls as soon as I get home." "Getting the time off work will probably be the biggest obstacle." "The week between Christmas and New Years is never a very productive time for businesses. I'm sure that we'll all be able to take vacation days." "What about Paul? Will he be spending the holidays with his family?" "Paul doesn't spend time with his family. His parents divorced when he was four. Both of them remarried immediately and have families with their new spouses. His mother raised him, but he feels like his stepfather always viewed him as a burden. Apparently his father rarely made child support payments. He hasn't been home since he graduated from college." "Paul should definitely spend Christmas with us in San Antonio." "I'll tell Tricia that he's invited." Moving on, I said; "The holidays are a busy time. We'll need to act quickly. Get me some dates. I'll make the hotel reservations and I'll have Ruth transfer some additional money to your account so you can buy the airline tickets. They're going to be expensive." "Can we afford this?" "I still have a few pools of money that I kept in reserve. It won't be a problem." "Michael, this will be a wonderful Christmas." "I think it will be too" We pulled up to the departure level of the airport. Jeanne turned to me and said; "Michael, I'm going to miss you so much." "I'm going to miss you too Jeanne, but we'll be together at Christmas." "I'm already looking forward to it." "Now you can call me and email me." "That will help." Leaning over, Jeanne kissed me and then she got out of my Escape. I got out too. I took her bag out of the back and set it on the curb. Then I wrapped my arms around Jeanne and kissed her hard. She kissed me back and whispered; "Michael I love you so much." "I know that Jeanne. I love you too." Jeanne smiled at me and then she picked up her bag. After giving me one more kiss on the cheek she turned and walked into the airport. I watched her disappear into the terminal and then I got back into my Escape and left the airport. I drove back to my motel, packed up my gear and checked out. San Francisco had been fun, but now it was time to move on. end of Awakenings Ch. 07

As I climbed into bed next to Jeanne she whispered, "Michael, I'm sorry I fucked up our life." After pulling up the covers, I said; "Jeanne you didn't fuck up or life, in fact I'm starting to believe that you spiced it up." "I hope that's true." I gently kissed Jeanne's forehead and whispered, "I love you Jeanne." She murmured, "I love you too Michael" and then she was asleep. I kissed her again, draped my arm across her shoulder and was asleep in seconds. The next morning I was awake at 6:30. Jeanne was still sound asleep so I quietly dressed and slipped out of the motel room. There was a Starbucks eight blocks away. I bought two large coffees, two bottles of orange juice and two sweet rolls. When I returned to the motel room Jeanne was awake. She was sitting at the desk naked typing on my computer. As I set the coffee, juice and sweet rolls on the desk next to her I said; "I have to admit that when I walk into my motel room I love finding a beautiful naked woman typing on my computer." Jeanne laughed. "And I have to admit that I love a handsome man who brings me coffee, orange juice and a sweet roll in the morning." "Good morning Jeanne." "Good morning Michael" "Any good emails?" "I remind you that I don't know your email address." "It's a Yahoo account." I gave Jeanne the address. She logged on to Yahoo and typed in the address. "What's your password?" I gave it to her. As she typed it in she said; "Your openness about your email account suggests that you're no longer going to be incommunicado." "I'm sorry Jeanne. I was hurt. I needed some time alone to heal." "I understand. I'm sorry I hurt you." Jeanne picked up one of the bottles of orange juice. As she took a sip she said; "You have an email from Ruth." "You can open it." "Are you sure? Michael, I was out line when I asked you for your password. I was being intrusive. I'm sorry, I'm just so eager to be part of your life again." "Jeanne you're my wife. You have every right to be part of my life." "Do I Michael? I worry that I may have forsaken that when I decided to start dating." "No Jeanne, you didn't. I very much want you to be part of my life." Jeanne sighed, "We're both feeling a little insecure right now, aren't we." "Yes we are, but I don't want that. I want us to start trusting each other again." "I want that too." "Trust starts with the little things. Why don't you go ahead and open Ruth's email." "Okay." "Would you read it aloud." "Of course." After taking another sip of her orange juice, Jeanne read; "Dear Michael, everything is going well at the office. Bernie Kyle is turning out to be an excellent assistant for Jason. When you return I hope that we can find a permanent place for him with the firm." Looking up at me, Jeanne said; "That's good news, isn't it?" "Yes it is." Jeanne continued. "Did Jeanne arrive in San Francisco yesterday? Michael she was devastated about your telephone call Wednesday evening. She was desperate to talk to you. If she did get there I hope you didn't send her away. I believe that she really does love you. She calls me twice a day to find out if I have any news about you." I was watching Jeanne. She looked up at me. There was a tear running down her cheek. I got two tissues from the box on the bedside table and brought them to her. As she dried her eyes I kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you too." "Michael, I'm so confused. I love you so much and I'm afraid I'm pushing you away. I don't want to lose you, but I need to do this. This is the life I want, but I want it with you." "We're both trying to work it out. We're talking now. That will help." "I'm so glad I came out here." "I am too." "Would you like to hear the rest of Ruth's email?" "Yes." I kissed Jeanne again and then I sat down on the edge of the bed. Jeanne started reading again. "I'm beginning to understand Jeanne's new life style choice. David and I are still playing our game and he's becoming increasingly frank about his desire to see me date another man. He's actually encouraging me to renew my acquaintance with Nick Granger. If you remember, I mentioned Nick in an earlier email. He was the man I was dating when I met David. While Nick was fabulous in bed and it was fun to spend time with him, he was lazy and irresponsible. There was no way I would have ever considered marrying him. Still I had fun with him and now David is making it clear that he not only wouldn't mind if I started dating Nick again, it would excite him." Jeanne paused to take another sip of her orange juice and then she continued. "I was having a hard time understanding how David could actually be urging me to date another man. I was even wondering if he was trying to get rid of me, but then he showed me the web sites. Michael there are an amazing number of web sites about this life style. It even has a name. It's called cuckolding or wife sharing. Apparently this is a common male fantasy. In a cuckold relationship a wife is free to date other men and she does it with her husband's blessing. The wives are called hot wives and their husband are their cuckolds. At first the term cuckold seemed like a disparaging name to me, but as I read the stories and articles on the web sites I realized that the men who have this fantasy don't view it that way." I asked Jeanne, "Did you know about these web sites?" Pausing, Jeanne looked at me and nodded. "Tricia showed them to me. Since that evening when I announced that I was going to start dating Derek Fischer, this is the first time we've really had a chance to talk. I haven't told you about them because I thought we had more important things to discuss." "I agree." "Would you like to hear the rest of Ruth's email?" "Yes." Jeanne started reading again. "After looking at the web sites together David told me that he wants to be my cuckold. He said that he doesn't understand it. He knows that this isn't something husbands are supposed to want, but he does want it. We stayed up almost the entire night talking. He told me he knows that I love him and he loves me too. It would just be sex and he hopes that both of us will enjoy it. Michael, I have to admit that I'm intrigued by the idea. Sex with Nick Granger was incredible. Being able to occasionally enjoy him and still have the love and security I get from David would be wonderful. Still, I'm scared. I love David. I love our life together. I'm afraid that this could blow up and destroy everything. Life certainly can be complicated. Please email me and let me know what's happening with you and Jeanne. Love Ruth" Jeanne looked at me and smiled. "She's right about that, life certainly can be complicated." "That's the truth." "Michael, before you look at the web sites I need to warn you about something." "Okay." "Many of the stories and articles on those sites have a strong dominant submissive tone to them. The hot wives are often dominant and their cuckold husbands are often submissive." "You mean like Tricia and Paul." "Yes and I think maybe David too. Ruth has said some things to me that make me believe that." "You're worried that the dominant submissive part of the stories might bother me." "Yes." I thought for a moment and then I said; "Yesterday morning it might have, but I don't think it will now. Our discussion last night helped me a lot. I'm starting to look at all of this from a new perspective. Jeanne I've always been a sexually oriented man. Ever since I was a teenager I've enjoyed erotica in all its forms." Jeanne giggled, "You mean dirty stories, dirty pictures and dirty movies. I know that Michael. Last night I told you that it used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. Now I'm happy that you enjoy all of that." "That's what I'm talking about. For most of our married life you were rather inhibited." "You mean I was a prude." Laughing, I said; "Okay you were a prude, but you're not a prude anymore. Suddenly you've become a sexually adventurous woman." "You mean a slut, I turned into a slut." Still laughing, I said; "You enjoy being direct, don't you." "Yes I do." Jeanne was grinning. "That's what I'm finding so exciting about our new life. You've become so open and direct. You enjoy sex. Suddenly our life is filled with adventure. I don't think I'm submissive, but reading about people who enjoy that fantasy will be fun. Being able to discuss it with you will be even more fun." "Michael I'm glad you feel that way. I wish you'd come home with me." Shaking my head, I said, "I wish I could; but I can't, not yet." "I understand. You still need time to process all of this and you're right, I need more time too." "We still have all day today, all day tomorrow and Sunday morning." Jeanne nodded. "And I want to enjoy every minute of that time." "Let's answer Ruth's email and then if I remember correctly, we were going to take a shower together. " "That was the plan and after our shower I believe we were planning to do a little experimenting with oral sex." "I'm quite certain you're correct. Let's write to Ruth." "Okay." I stood behind Jeanne while she typed. "Dear Ruth I did get here. Michael and I had a wonderful evening. We talked and fucked until well after midnight. This morning we're going to spend an hour or two investigating the joys of oral sex and then we're going sight seeing and shopping. Michael has offered to help me select some erotic art for my new playroom. Michael and I were both pleased to hear about the new developments in your sexual fantasies and role playing. It sounds like you and David are having fun. We understand your concerns about taking your fantasies to the next level. Be cautious, take your time. You don't have to rush into anything. Thoroughly discuss each decision you make. I wish I'd spent more time talking to Michael before I started dating other men." Keep us posted on what's happening. Love Jeanne and Michael" Jeanne asked, "How's that?" "It's perfect, send it." After sending the email Jeanne said, "Let's finish our coffee and rolls and then it will be time for our shower." "I like this plan." We took a long hot shower together. Jeanne washed me. I washed her. After drying each other we jumped into bed and started playing. We took turns going down on each other. We talked about what was pleasing and what wasn't. It was fun to be so open. For a grand finale I licked Jeanne's ass while I rubbed her clit. After she orgasmed she licked my ass while she masturbated me to a climax. It was a wonderful way to start the day. We spent the rest of the morning and the early afternoon shopping and sight seeing. In The Castro we found a number of shops selling a wide variety of erotica. While much of it was gay oriented there was also quite a bit of heterosexual art and jewelry. The merchants in The Castro didn't discriminate. In one of the shops we found a anklet with a heart shaped charm that had the initials H W inscribed on it. I purchased it for Jeanne. As I was putting it on her I asked, "which ankle?" Jeanne and the shop clerk agreed that it should go on the her left ankle. That was generally accepted as a sign that she was available. Once I'd fastened the anklet the clerk said, "I have another piece of jewelry that might interest you." He opened a display case behind the counter and took out a silver neck chain with a round silver pendant attached to it. He handed it to Jeanne. She looked at it. Smiling, she showed it to me. One side of the pendant had an engraved drawing of a pair of shapely female legs in nylon stockings The phrase; "I love it when she's naughty" was inscribed on the opposite side. Jeanne asked. "Would you wear this?" I laughed, but then realizing that Jeanne was serious, I asked; "Can I wear it under my shirt?" Obviously surprised that I'd even consider wearing it, Jeanne said; "Of course." Shrugging, I said; "Sure, why not." "Really?" "If it's under my shirt the only people who'll see it will be people who understand." Still laughing I added. "Right now that's a pretty small group." Giggling, Jeanne turned to the shop clerk and said, "We'll take it." I handed him my credit card. As he was processing it Jeanne slipped the chain over my head. As she tucked the pendant under my shirt she whispered, "I am so hot right now." I winked at her and then I turned to the clerk and signed the credit card slip. In the next block we found a store that specialized in erotic art. Jeanne and I picked out several prints and arranged to have them framed and shipped home. We spent the rest of the day sight seeing. That evening we had dinner at The Cliff House. After dinner Jeanne asked, "That golf course you like so much, does it have a parking lot?" "It does." "Is it dark and deserted?" "Right now it is." "Let's go there." We drove to the golf course and parked in a dark corner of the lot. Jeanne pulled her seat forward and got out of my Escape. "Pull your seat all the way forward and get in the back seat with me." Realizing what was about to happen I excitedly pulled the driver's seat forward and joined Jeanne in the back seat. As soon as we were settled, she unbuttoned her blouse and whispered, "Unfasten my brassiere so you can play with my tits." Slipping my hands under Jeanne's blouse; I reached behind her and unclasped her brassiere, freeing her large breasts. At the same time Jeanne unbuckled my belt, pulled down my zipper, opened my trousers and pulled my erect cock out of my boxer shorts. As she bent over Jeanne said, "This is how I do it behind Brady's Pub." And then she slipped my cock into her mouth and started sucking me. I closed my eyes and played with Jeanne's breasts while I imagined her in a dark parking lot behind a noisy pick up bar doing this same thing with a man she'd just met. At that moment I loved having a slut wife. I was excited. It wasn't long before the sensations of pleasure began building in my loins. Sensing my growing excitement Jeanne sucked me even more vigorously. I gasped as my first spurt of semen erupted into Jeanne's mouth. She kept sucking me. After I finished ejaculating Jeanne took my softening penis out her mouth and sat up. She smiled at me. Her lower lip was coated with my fresh semen. "I love sucking your cock. I wish I hadn't wasted all those years as an uptight prude." Smiling back at her, I said; "You'll just have to make up for lost time." and then I kissed her. After we kissed I took out my handkerchief and wiped my cum off of both of your faces. As I was putting my handkerchief away Jeanne said; "I'm still surprised that you're willing to do that." "You mean kiss you when your lips are coated with my cum." "Yes." "It doesn't bother you, so it shouldn't bother me either." "You really do have an open mind about sex." Chuckling, I said; "It's the result of a life time spent reading quality pornography." Jeanne laughed. "I wish I'd been reading it with you." "I wish you had too." For a moment we looked at each other wistfully and then I said; "Let's go back to the motel." Grinning, Jeanne said; "Wanna fuck me when we get back there?" "Damn right." Jeanne opened her door. As she got out of the back seat she said, "Let's go. I've got an itch that needs serious scratching." As soon as we were both settled in the front seats I started my Escape and drove out of the deserted golf course parking lot. On the way back to the motel, Jeanne asked; "Did you enjoy that?" "Very much, it's easy to understand why you enjoy going to Brady's" "Does it bother you that I do that?" I considered Jeanne's question for a moment and then I said; "Not really, after experiencing it I realize that it's pretty impersonal. It really is nothing more than lust in its purest form." "I'm glad you feel that way." "Want to know something else." "Definitely." "While you were doing it I was imagining you doing it to a strange man behind Brady's" "Really?" "Yeah." "Michael, that is so hot." Taking a quick glance at Jeanne I smiled and said; "What can I say? At heart I'm a voyeur." "And I'm a slut. The two kinks go together rather nicely, don't they." "I'm beginning to realize that." As soon as we got into our motel Jeanne said, "Take off your sports coat and sit down on the edge of the bed." "Why?" "Please, just humor me." "Okay." I took off my sports jacket, hung it in the closet and then I sat on the edge of the bed. Once I was settled Jeanne kneeled at my feet. As soon as she started removing my shoes and socks I knew what she was planning to do. Smiling up at me she said, "If you want me to do this with Trent you're going to have to let me do it for you first." "I like this plan a lot." I was laughing. After removing my shoes and socks Jeanne took off my trousers and boxer shorts. My cock was already erect again. She laid my trousers neatly across the desk and then she turned and said, "I don't have any music." "That's okay, we can pretend." Jeanne smiled and then she started swaying her hips to the beat of an imaginary song. Staring into my eyes, she slowly unbuttoned her black satin blouse and pulled it open exposing her black lace brassiere. After dancing with her blouse open for a few seconds she slipped it off of her shoulders, tossed it on the desk and continued dancing. Now she was wearing only her brassier, skirt, high heels and lingerie. Enchanted, I watched. This was a voyeur's dream. Lasciviously licking her lips, Jeanne reached behind her back and unclasped her brassiere. For a moment she held the cups in place while she danced for me and then slowly, tantalizingly she inched them off until her gorgeous breasts were fully @@@@@@@. For a moment Jeanne waved her brassiere above her head while she danced topless for me and then she tossed it across the room. As it landed on top of the dresser she reached down, grasped the hem of her skirt and began hiking it up her nylon stocking covered thighs. Once again she moved slowly, deliberately; her hips and her pendulous breasts swaying to the beat of the imaginary music. I watched, but as I watched a thought crept into my mind. The previous evening I'd suggested to Jeanne that she do this for Trent Peters. A moment ago she told me that before she could do this for Trent she wanted to do it for me. My wife of twenty-seven years was planning to perform this same dance for another man. I was suddenly flooded with a myriad of emotions. Jealousy and hurt came first, but they were quickly overwhelmed by lust and what I could only call a form of voyeurism. I realized that knowing my wife would soon be doing this in front of another man made it even more exciting for me. For a brief moment I felt ashamed about my perverted attitude, but the utter thrill of what I was watching and thinking quickly vanquished my feelings of self-reproach. Instead I said, "Trent is going to love this." Jeanne stopped and stared at me. After a moment she started to say, "Michael, I'm doing this for you, not..." But then she stopped herself. Noticing the unabashed lust in my eyes, she said; "That makes it more exciting for you, doesn't it?" Shame started to worm its way back into my psyche. I looked away. Understanding how fragile I was Jeanne sat down next to me and whispered; "It's all right. This is who we are. I'm a slut and you're a voyeur. There's nothing to be ashamed about. In fact it makes us a perfect match for each other. We're both going to enjoy this new lifestyle." Nodding, I said; "I know that, but it's still going to take time before I'm fully comfortable with these feelings." "You have a life time of conditioning to overcome."

"I'm sorry, I told you earlier; sometimes my emotions are going to overwhelm me. I'm trying to keep that from happening, but once in a while things get out of hand." "I know and I understand. Actually I think you're doing a commendable job of keeping your emotions in check. We also have to remember that I'm the cause of all these problems. I think you're entitled to an occasional outburst of anger." "We're both trying." "Yes we are. Please refresh my memory. What did you tell me last night?" "I told you that I thought that we need to try to use the time we're apart to address some of the problems that are likely to occur after I return. I explained that I'm reasonably certain that eventually you'll find men that you enjoy both sexually and socially. When that happens you're going to want to see them regularly. That's going to be hard for me. I'm going to need some opportunities to get used to it." "Yes, I remember now. You want me to find a boyfriend right away so you can have a chance to get used to the idea while you're still away from home. That's why I told you about Trent." "That's right, it's much easier to get used to something when it's not occurring right in front of you." "But you want me to tell you about him. You want to hear about my dates with him." "I need to hear about every detail. I need to hear you tell me how much you're enjoying him. It's the only way I can get used to the idea." "It's a little like the fantasy games that Ruth and David are playing. I'm fairly certain that eventually Ruth is going to start dating. When that happens the fantasy games will have helped David prepare for the real thing." Jeanne sighed. "That's what I should have done with you. I should have been playing fantasy sex games with you for the past year." "I would have enjoyed them, but were you ready to play games like that a year ago?" "No, I don't think I was. Still I should have waited to start dating until we'd had a chance to play those games for awhile." "That may be true, but it didn't happen; so now we have to do it this way." "Okay, I understand. You need to hear about Trent Peters." "Do you want to start dating him?" "Yes, I think I do." "Then you need to tell me about him. We need to be able to talk openly about him." "What do you want to hear? I already told you how I met him." "Yes, and you told me about sucking his cock while he was sitting on the couch in our living room." "That was when you got upset." "Yes it was, but now that I've been treated to a couple of your blow jobs I don't feel quite so neglected." "I'm glad I came out here." "I am too. When you sucked Trent's cock did you make him cum?" "Yes, I'm learning that most guys cum pretty quickly the first time. When I'm with a guy I try to make him cum right away. That way when he starts fucking me he can last a little longer." "I assume that you let Trent fuck you." Jeanne stared at me. After a moment she said; "You just called him Trent. In fact you called him that twice. You always call Derek Fischer, Fischer." "I was angry at Fischer. I don't have any reason to be angry with Trent Peters." "Is it because you've had a chance to get used to the idea that I'm letting other men fuck me?" "I suppose that is it." "I'm beginning to grasp what you're trying to do. The more we talk about all of this the easier it gets for you. Do you think there's a chance that you'll eventually reach a point where you actually do enjoy it?" "I think it's possible. I am a voyeur. It definitely appeals to that part of my personality." "Would you like to hear more?" "Yes." "After I sucked him..." "Jeanne before you go on can I ask you a question?" "Certainly." "When Trent orgasmed did you let him cum in your mouth?" "No Michael, he ejaculated on my tits. You're the only man I'll ever let cum in my mouth." Jeanne quickly added, "That's not just because I love you, it's also a health issue. I don't want a stranger's semen in my mouth." "That makes sense. You were about to tell me what you did after you finished giving him a blow job." "We moved into Tricia's old room." "Are you going to redecorate it?' "Are you sure that's all right with you?" "I want you to do it. I was even planning to buy you an erotic painting to hang on the wall." "Really?" "Would you like that? Maybe you'd rather pick out your own paintings." "I can have more than one painting and I really would like to have a painting that you selected for me." "Would you like to go to some art galleries tomorrow? We can pick out a painting together and have it shipped home." "Michael I really would like that." "Then we'll do it. Now back to Trent. What happened when you got to Tricia's room." "We quickly undressed. We were both pretty excited. As soon as we were in bed Trent went down on me." "Was he good?" "Not as good as you are. I don't think he enjoys doing it as much as you do. I think he mostly did it so that I'd be nice and wet when he fucked me." "Of course." "He only ate me for about a minute, then he climbed on top of me and pushed his cock into my cunt." "Was he good at fucking?" Jeanne nodded. "He was wond..." She stopped herself in mid sentence. "I'm sorry Michael, I didn't mean to say that." "Why not? If it's true I want you to say it. Jeanne we have to be able to be honest with each other. It would be naive of me to believe that I'll always be better than all the other men you date. Actually I hope that's not the case. If you're going to do this I want you to experience some wonderful sex." "Thank you Michael." Jeanne paused. She thought for a moment and then she said; "It's not that Trent is better than you are Michael. You're both accomplished sex partners. You're both good, it's just that you're different. Tonight sex with you was a wonderful shared experience. It was magical. The night I was with Trent he took me. He controlled me. It felt like he was using me. I certainly wouldn't want only that. I need the magical sex that we had tonight, but once in a while it's fun to be taken." I nodded. "I'm a giver, Trent's a taker." "I think that's right. You're different people. You have different temperaments." "I'll bet Trent would love it if you licked his ass while you were giving him a blow job." "I'm sure he would, but it won't happen. That's a pleasure that I intend to reserve solely for you." "Why? I don't actually enjoy it that much. I'd rather lick your ass. If you want to reserve something for just me that's what I'd like." Jeanne smiled. "You are a giver." "Yes I am." "But I don't think you're submissive, at least not like Paul is to Tricia." Chuckling, I said; "No that's not me." I paused for a moment and considered what Jeanne had just said. Finally I said; "I've never really thought about that. While I love watching adult movies I've never been particularly interested in the female domination movies and there are a lot of them out there." "Really?" "I think it's a pretty common fantasy for men." "David is starting to express some submissive desires to Ruth." "She told you that?" "We talk all the time." "How does she feel about David being submissive?" "She's pretty excited about it." "Really?" "Ruth has told me a little about what she was like before she married David. Believe me Michael, she was not a prude." "She was pretty wild." "Before she met David she was dating a guy named Nick Granger." "She mentioned him in an email." "They were pretty adventurous. She told me they did quite a bit of swinging." "I never would have guessed that." "She loves David. After she met him she left all of that behind her. Now that they've started this fantasy game I'm pretty sure that it's just a matter of time before Ruth starts dating other men. I also think that like Tricia, she has a strong dominant streak. I think she's going to take full advantage of David's submissive inclinations." "You're telling me that it won't be long before she's wearing the pants in the family." "I think that's always been the case. No, I'm talking about more than that. I think that David is gradually going to become Ruth's servant." "They have two kids. How will that work?" "They'll keep it toned down around the kids." "So do you have a dominant streak?" "Do you want me to have one?" "Are you asking me again if I have submissive desires." "You told me you didn't, but then it seemed like you started waffling." "I'm pretty sure I don't, at least not a very significant streak. I don't think it's a case of you are or you aren't. It's more like a continuum. I'll never be way out there with Paul or David, but I probably lean a little bit to the submissive side." I smiled. "I could easily spend weeks with my face buried in your cunt. I also loved licking your ass tonight and I was pretty so so about having my ass licked." "Weeks with your face buried in my cunt, now that's a tantalizing prospect. I'll remember that when you finally do come home." Jeanne winked at me. I winked back and then I said; "I think my real kink is voyeurism." "You do love your adult movies." "You still haven't answered my question. Do you have a dominant streak?" "Not really. I think I'm like you, I maybe lean just a little bit to the submissive side of the continuum; but not very much. I loved licking your ass tonight, but I also loved it when you licked my ass. Right now I think I just like doing anything that's slutty and nasty." Grinning, I said; "You're a slut and I'm a voyeur." "We make a great pair, don't we." "Yes we do." For a moment we smiled at each other, but then Jeanne's smile vanished. She looked at me with a serious expression and said; "Michael, were you serious when you told me that you wouldn't mind if I licked Trent's ass?" "Do you think you'd enjoy doing that?" "Michael please don't get mad, but when I think about doing it to him my pussy absolutely gushes." "It would be pretty slutty, wouldn't it." "It really would." "After your date will you promise to call me and tell me all about it?" Jeanne laughed. "Yes Mr. Voyeur, I'll call you and tell you every nasty little detail." "Is that a promise?" "Of course." "Then as soon as you get home you'd better call Trent and invite him over to the house for an evening of hot sex." "You're sure you're okay with that?" "Yes I am, and if you wouldn't mind I'd like to make a suggestion about what you might do when he gets there?" "Really?" "Yup." "Okay, go ahead." "I think you should have him sit on the couch just like you did the last time he was there, only this time as soon as he's seated you should take off his shoes, his socks, his pants and his underwear and then you should stand up and do a little strip tease for him." "Michael!" "Are you telling me that you wouldn't enjoy doing that?" Jeanne sheepishly answered; "No, in fact it's an unbelievably exciting idea." "I thought it would be. After all you are a slut." Giggling, Jeanne said; "Yes I am." "And you'd like to be Trent Peter's slut, wouldn't you." "Would that be okay?" "Do you promise that you'll still love me?" "Oh fuck yes! I'll love you more than ever. You'll be the most wonderful husband in the entire world." "That works for me." Jeanne kissed me hard on the lips. I kissed her back. After we kissed we held each other. As we held each other Jeanne whispered, "Michael Nolan, you're the only man I'll ever love." "I believe that Jeanne, I really do." We held each other for a few minutes and then Jeanne sat up, reached over to the bedside table and picked up the tube of lubricant that she'd taken from her purse earlier. After handing it to me, she rolled over onto her stomach and said; "Will you lube me up." Chuckling, I said; "I'd be happy to do it." Jeanne has a gorgeous ass. I looked at it for a moment and then deciding that it wouldn't hurt to give her a quick kiss, I set the tube of lubricant on the bed, spread her ass cheeks, bent over and planted my lips on her anus. Giggling Jeanne said; "That feels good, but it's not what your supposed to be doing." Ignoring Jeanne, I pushed my tongue into her asshole. She cooed, "Michael, that really does feel good." I gave her several deep licks and then I sat up and said; "Sorry, I couldn't resist." "Baby, as far as I'm concerned, you can do that anytime the mood strikes you." "I'll remember that while we're touring San Francisco tomorrow." Jeanne burst out laughing. "Are you suggesting that we might occasionally slip off to a ladies room for a little fun?" "It sounds like a good idea to me." Still laughing, Jeanne said; "I can just imagine telling a woman who's impatiently knocking on a stall door. Just a minute ma'am. We'll be out as soon as my husband's finished licking my ass." "This is San Francisco. She probably wouldn't bat an eye." Rolling her eyes Jeanne said; "Enough silly chit chat, grab that lube and grease me up. I'm ready to get fucked in the ass." I picked up the lube. Both of us were giggling. I pulled Jeanne's cheeks apart and squirted a generous amount onto her asshole. Jeanne said, "That feels weird." I started rubbing the lube around her anus with my fingertips. "Ooo, but that feels good." I squeezed some lube onto my finger and pushed it into her. It slipped in easily. "That feels really good." I added some more lube and pushed a second finger into Jeanne. She said, "That feels really really good." I pushed a third finger into her and started fucking her. "Oh my god Michael, that feels amazing." "Are your ready to try my cock?" "Oh yes." I pulled my fingers out if Jeanne's ass and rubbed the excess lube onto my cock. Then I squeezed some more lube onto the head and rubbed it in with my hand. Once I was ready I said, "How do you want to do this?" "I was hoping you knew. You watch all the dirty movies." "Those are porn stars. They're doing it as much for camera angle as comfort. A lot of times they start out with the woman on top, but from what you told me Trent's probably going to want to be on top." "I'll start out on top. This is my first time. Before I worry about anything else I need to find out how it feels to take a cock in my ass." "That makes sense." "Lie back. I'll start out facing you. I think I'll be able to control what's happening better that way." "Okay." Jeanne sat up, turned so that she was facing me and straddled my hips. After taking a moment to get comfortable she reached behind her and took hold of my erection. I smiled. She said, "You like it when I hold your cock, don't you." "Damn right." "Let's see how you like this." She slowly sat back. I felt her rub the head of my cock in the crack of her ass. After finding her asshole she held my erection in place, sat back and slowly guided it into her anus. Jeanne was so well lubed that I easily slipped into her. Still, she continued to move slowly. As she gradually took more of my cock she smiled at me. Smiling back, I said; "How does it feel?" "Weird, how does it feel for you?" "Actually pretty good." "Are you ready? I'm going to take the rest of it." "Go for it." Jeanne sat back. Suddenly the full length of my cock slipped into her asshole. Gasping, she said; "Oh my." "Are you still okay?" "Oh yes." "Does it feel good?" "It does." Jeanne started to move up and down on me. "How does that feel?" "Wonderful" "I like it too, but now I'm ready to try a more daring position." "One that Trent's going to like." "Is that okay?" "Definitely, what would you like to try?" "I want to be on my back." "I'll have to kneel and you'll have to pull your legs up." "Okay, let's try it." Jeanne rolled off of me, lay back and spread her legs. As I moved into position between them I leaned down and gave her cunt a quick kiss. She giggled. "I like it when you kiss me there." "I like it too." Jeanne pulled her legs back opening her ass to me. Laughing, she said; "I'm glad I still go to the gym five days a week. I need to be limber to do this." "Are you ready?" "Yes." I pushed my cock into Jeanne's ass. I moved slowly. She whispered, "That feels nice." As soon as I was all the way inside her I asked, "Can I start fucking you?" "Yes, but be gentle. I'm still a little nervous about this." "Don't worry, I'll be careful, slow dancing only." I started fucking Jeanne's ass with a slow easy rhythm. "Michael, that feels nice." I picked up Jeanne's hand and placed her fingers on her cunt. She grinned. "What a good idea." She started rubbing her clit. I matched the motion of my hips to the rhythm of her fingers. We danced together. Our excitement started to build. Suddenly Jeanne stopped and said; "I want you to take me from behind." "Will Trent want that?" "Yes, I think he will." "Then let's try it." I pulled out of Jeanne. As she rolled over I asked, "Is Trent a tall man?" "He's about the same height as you." "Try lying on your stomach. It may not work, but let's try it." Jeanne lay flat. Straddling her, I leaned forward so I was lying halfway on top of her and then I pushed my cock back into her ass. As I started fucking her I asked, "How is this?" "It's comfortable, but I'd like to try it on my knees. Will you be able to reach me?" "I think I can if I half stand. Let's try it." I pulled out of Jeanne. She raised up on her hands and knees. I quickly figured out that if I stood on one leg and kneeled on the other I could comfortably slip my cock back into her ass. I started fucking Jeanne again. At the same time she balanced on one hand so that she could rub her clit with the fingers of the other hand. Once again our excitement started to build. Jeanne whispered, "Faster and harder! Take me! Fuck me!" I started fucking her harder "Yes, that's what I want. Fuck me! Fuck my asshole!" I felt the sensations of pleasure building in my loins. Suddenly Jeanne arched her back and screamed. "Yes! Fuck my ass!" As the waves of orgasmic pleasure rolled through Jeanne I pulled my cock out of her rear and jacked myself off on her butt cheeks. As Jeanne's orgasm subsided she collapsed on the bed. I lay down next to her. For a moment we both lay in contented silence. Finally Jeanne turned to me and asked, "Did you enjoy that?" Nodding, I said; "I did, but honestly I enjoy fucking your pussy more." Jeanne smiled. "Me too. Why did you pull out? why didn't you cum inside me?" "I don't know much about this. I was afraid that if I came inside you I might be giving you a semen enema." "Thank you, I appreciate the concern. I don't know either. That won't be an issue with Trent. He'll have to wear a condom." "It was fun experimenting with you." "That was fun." Jeanne sighed. "Michael, I'm sorry that we haven't been experimenting like this for the past year." "It's okay, that wasn't an attempt to make you feel guilty. I understand why you weren't experimenting with me. I just wanted you to know that I enjoyed doing it." "Me too. After we shower tomorrow morning would you like to do some experimenting with oral sex? We can take turns doing each other and discussing what we like and don't like." "That would be fun." "Michael, I'm really tired. Would it be all right with you if we go to sleep now?" "Yes, that would be fine, it's been an exciting day and you also had a two hour time change." "That's right, I did. No wonder I'm so tired." "I'll get you a towel. Between the lube and my cum I think you must be kind of messy." "Thank you, that would be nice." I hurried into the bathroom, found a towel for Jeanne and quickly returned to the bed. She was just barely awake. I pulled down the covers, wiped her clean as best I could and tossed the towel on the desk.

Awakenings Ch. 07 Jeanne kissed me and then she said; "Baby I know it's late, but I'd still like to play a little more. Do you have any energy left?" "I think I can get it up one more time, but I might need a little help from you and I definitely need a few more minutes to recuperate." Jeanne reached down and gave my still limp penis a gentle squeeze. "I'd love to give you a hand and even a mouth. And Mr. Voyeur, while were waiting how about a Julia Ann movie. I've only seen pictures of her on the Internet. I'd love to see her in action." "Really? You want to watch an adult movie with me? Are you turning into a voyeur too?" "No I'm a die hard slut. I prefer participating, but I like to do things with my favorite man. He likes to watch, so occasionally I'm going to watch with him." Jeanne was grinning at me. Smiling at her, I stood up, got my laptop computer from the desk and set it up the bed between us. As I was opening a Julia Ann movie Jeanne said; "You've done this before." I laughed. "You caught me." "I masturbate too." "You told me that. I'm still amazed." "I'd be a fool if I didn't. It feels good and it's free." "You certainly have changed." "And I can't begin to describe how happy I am about that change." "I'm pretty happy about it too." We smiled at each other for a moment and then I started a movie. "Let's try this one." "Okay." We cuddled together and watched. Julia Ann was straddling a dark haired man who was probably in his late thirties or early forties. She was wearing an elegant black dress. They were making out. "I like this movie because the man's a little older. In some of her movies they do that cougar thing with younger guys. Those aren't as appealing to me." Jeanne smiled. "I don't think they're making those movies for you Michael." "Probably not." "I'm finding that I prefer men who are a little older." "Have you dated some younger guys?" "Two, they were both in their early twenties." "How did you meet them?" "I met one of them in a bar. I stopped after work for a cocktail with some of the other secretaries in the building. He was working as a student intern in one of the nearby law offices. Tricia lined me up with the other one. He's a friend of hers." "You just said that you prefer older men. You must not have enjoyed them." "They were the rammers and jammers I told you about." "Oh." "Young men get really hard and they recover quickly, but they lack patience." "They get too excited." Jeanne laughed. "That's a good way to put it." We turned our attention back to the movie. The dark haired man had pulled Julia Ann's dress down and unfastened her brassiere. He was fondling her large breasts. Jeanne said; "She's very pretty. Do you really think I look like her?" "She could be your twin sister." "Her hair is blonde, mine's brown." "That's true." "I was thinking about becoming a blonde. Would that be all right with you?" "I think you'd look gorgeous as a blonde." "The next time we have one of these weekends you'd better be prepared." "I'll take that as a promise." We turned our attention back to the movie. Julia Ann was sucking her costars cock. Jeanne said, "She looks like she's really enjoying that." "She's either enjoying it or she's an outstanding actress." "I think she's enjoying it. I know I do. I love giving head." Moving closer, Jeanne nuzzled my ear and whispered; "I'd like to suck your cock right now. Would that be okay?" "I'd like that very much." Jeanne giggled. "I thought you might." She moved down so that she was crouching next to my hips and then she picked up my stiffening penis and slipped it into her mouth. I lay back on the pillows watching Julia Ann suck her costars cock while Jeanne sucked my cock. I was in voyeur heaven. After a minute Jeanne took my cock out of her mouth, sat up and looked at me. "Michael I want you to imagine that it's me in the movie. I want you to imagine that you're watching me suck another man's cock. Will you do that?" I was aroused and I really was a voyeur. The idea of watching Jeanne with another man had been lurking in the recesses of my mind for several weeks. Breathless with excitement I answered; "Yes, yes I will." "Would you enjoy doing that? Would you like to watch me when I'm with another man?" While I was excited, I was still an accountant. Caution prevailed. I answered, "Eventually I think I might. Right now fantasies are enough. I'm not sure I'm ready to see it for real." "But maybe someday you will be. I think I'd like that. I think sometimes I'd like you to watch. You're a voyeur and I'm beginning to understand that I'm an exhibitionist." "You enjoyed wearing those tight sexy clothes to dinner tonight. You loved knowing that all the men in the restaurant were watching you." "I did, I really did. It's taken a while for me to get enough confidence to start doing it, but now I love wearing sexy clothes. I'm even wearing sexy clothes to work." "How are those conservative attorneys you work for taking that?" "So far they haven't said anything. I do notice them oogling me when they think I'm not watching them." "You enjoy that, don't you." "Michael I love it when men look at me. I love being a slut." Jeanne leaned over. As she was about to put my cock back in her mouth we both noticed that it was starting to grow. She kissed it and said; "It looks like somebody's soldier is waking up again. Let's see if we can give it a little encouragement." She slipped my cock into her mouth and began sucking me in earnest. The combination of the movie, Jeanne's naked breasts pressing against my thigh, our kinky conversation about watching her with another man and of course, her marvelously skilled blow job all combined to get me fully erect in less than a minute. As soon as I was hard Jeanne looked up me and smiled. "It looks like you're ready for tonight's main event." Laughing, I said; "I'm not sure I know what that means, but I'm definitely eager to find out." "Michael dear, I told you earlier. Tonight you're going to fuck my ass." "I remember you saying that, but I wasn't sure you were serious." "Oh I am definitely serious. I really want to know what it feels like." "Okay, what do we have to do? I've seen it in the movies. Sometimes they put in plugs to stretch you out a little." Jeanne stood up, walked over to her purse, opened it and took out a small tube. I assumed it was lubricant. As she returned to the bed she said; "Tricia told me that as long as I liberally lube up my butt I'll be just fine." "Tricia told you that? Is she into anal intercourse?" "She loves it. Jodie's tried it too, but she's just so so about it. She doesn't mind it. She'll do it if a guy really wants to do it; but I don't think she'd ever initiate it. " "But Tricia loves it." Laughing, I added; "Paul must be a pretty adventurous guy." "In his own way, I guess that's true; but I'm fairly certain that Tricia has never let him do that with her." "She hasn't? I don't understand. You just told me that Tricia loves anal sex. Paul is Tricia's fiancee." "Michael I'm going to tell you something about Tricia and Paul, but you have to promise that you'll try to keep an open mind. Will you do that?" "Of course." "No Michael, I'm serious. I think this might be difficult for you. You have to promise." "Okay, I promise." "I told you before that Tricia has a boyfriend." "Yes, Randy Parkman." "She also dates other men." "Yes, in fact you just told me that she's started dating older men." "That's right. Michael, Randy Parkman and the other men Tricia dates are the men who get to fuck Tricia's rear, in fact they're the only men who get to fuck Tricia at all." "You're telling me that Paul doesn't get to fuck Tricia, but other men do?" "That's right." "Then why is she planning to marry him?" "She loves him." "Jeanne, you're not making any sense." "Michael, your oldest is a dominant. Do you know what that means?" "I think so, you're telling me that Tricia is a dominatrix." "Kind of, but I don't think she'd ever use that term. For Tricia being a dominant is more of a lifestyle choice. Michael, Paul is a submissive. Tricia loves Paul, but he's not so much her boyfriend as her slave." "Really?" "Yes and Tricia refers to herself as a superior." "Isn't that a little arrogant?" "It's only within the context of the game they play. There are several other couples all into the same fantasy. Randy Parkman and his wife are part of the game too, only in their case Randy is the dominant and his wife Carol is the submissive." "But it's just a game." "That's what they call it, but they're pretty serious about it. In many ways Paul really is Tricia's slave. He does all the household chores; the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, everything. He's not even allowed to work. His job is to take care of Tricia." "And I gather that he doesn't get to have sex with Tricia." "Not in the traditional way. He eats Tricia's pussy." Jeanne paused. After a moment she added, "And her ass." She watched me to see how I reacted to that. I said, "Don't worry, I'm not shocked by that. Remember, I'm a dirty movie aficionado. That's pretty common in those movies." "Really?" "Yeah, if the person's clean it's really not that big a deal. In adult movies it's a frequent accompaniment to oral sex." Jeanne laughed. "I thought I was more worldly than you, but I guess that's not completely true." "I think you now have more practical experience than I do. Most of my knowledge was acquired vicariously." "We can teach each other." "That would be fun." "I have to admit that you took the news about your oldest daughters kinky lifestyle rather well." I shrugged. "I assume they're happy." "I think they are. They certainly seem happy." "They're not hurting anybody. It's their life. They get to live it anyway they want." "Michael Nolan you are a truly remarkable man." "I'm trying Jeanne, I really am." Jeanne smiled at me. I smiled back at her. She kept smiling. After a moment I said. "What?" Still smiling, she said; "You took a shower just before I got here, correct?" "Yes." "And I took one right after I got here and you joined me." "Yes." "So we're both clean, right?" "Yeah, that's right." "Wanna try it? I'll do you first." Chuckling, I said; "Jeanne the prude is definitely gone." "She certainly is. So do you?" "Sure, why not." "Lie back on the pillows. I'm going to start by sucking you." "Just a moment." I picked up my computer. After I set it on the desk I got back on the bed and lay back with my head on the pillows. "Okay." Jeanne positioned herself between my parted thighs. As she wrapped her fingers around the shaft of my erection she said; "You still have to fuck my butt tonight. If you feel like you're going to cum warn me so I can stop." "I will." I quickly added, "At least I'll try." "I'll try to be careful too." "Thanks." Jeanne slipped my cock into her mouth, gave me a few quick sucks and moved down to my balls. I was certain that she was trying to make sure I didn't cum by accident. She kept her fingers loosely wrapped around the shaft of my erect penis while she kissed and licked my balls. Afraid that I might cum, I focused all of my attention on maintaining control. I really wanted to avoid an accident. Jeanne whispered, "Pull your hips up, it's time." Both excited and anxious, I pulled my feet back and elevated my hips exposing my anus to Jeanne. She placed both hands under my butt cheeks and raised me even higher. I felt her tongue at the base of my ball sac. I held my breath. She moved lower. Her tongue was in the crack of my ass. She explored it. She found my anus. I felt her tongue circling it and then I realized that she was probing it. My wife of twenty-seven years, the woman who was too inhibited to suck my cock unless she'd been drinking, was licking my asshole. It was a strange sensation. While it wasn't unpleasant, it wasn't particularly pleasurable either. I immediately grasped that this was a perceptual pleasure. There were nerve endings in the cock and the pussy that produced real physical gratification. The anus didn't have those nerve endings. The pleasure was derived from the participants perception of what was occurring. I was inclined to think that Trisha enjoyed it because she was a dominant. To her, receiving this pleasure was a validation of her position. I suspected that Paul enjoyed giving her this pleasure because it was an expression of his submission. I was curious to hear Jeanne's reaction. My guess was that she was going to find both giving and receiving this pleasure exciting. At this point in her life she viewed herself as a libertine, a woman totally devoted to sexual gratification, a woman who was willing to try anything regardless of how daring or unconventional it might be. I smiled to myself. Why not? Life can become awfully mundane. What's wrong with being daring and unconventional? Absolutely nothing. I relaxed and enjoyed the sensation of my wife's tongue in my ass. After a moment Jeanne pulled away and moved back up next to me. She kissed me. I kissed her back. Knowing where her tongue had just been didn't bother me at all. Jeanne asked, "Did you enjoy that?" "I think so, let me do you and then let's talk about it." "Okay." Jeanne rolled over and got up on her knees. "I think doing it like this will be easier." As I positioned myself behind her I said, "I think you're right." I took a moment to slowly lick Jeanne's cunt. Breathless with excitement, she said; "Just doing that is wonderful. Michael right now I'm so excited. This is so slutty." I smiled. I knew my Jeanne. I gave her cunt three more long slow licks and then I moved up to the crack of her ass. As I did that I brought my right hand to her sex and started gently massaging it with my fingertips. Jeanne gasped. "Oh my god Michael." My tongue explored the full length of Jeanne's ass, but I carefully avoided her anus. Giggling, she said; "You're teasing me." I found her engorged clit and rubbed it gently with my thumb. At the same time I started placing soft kisses in the crack of Jeanne's ass. Slowly, methodically my kisses moved closer to her asshole. I could feel the tension in Jeanne's body build as she anticipated what I was about to do. Still rubbing Jeanne's clit with my thumb, I pressed my lips to her anus and gave her a deep kiss. She shuddered. I extended my tongue and circled her. She emitted a low moan. I pushed my tongue into her. Jeanne cried, "Oh my god Michael, that is so nasty. I love it." I pushed my tongue even deeper into her. I was every bit as excited as Jeanne. She was enjoying this and I was discovering that I loved giving her this pleasure. Jeanne pressed her ass into my face. Still rubbing her clit with my thumb, I closed my eyes and made out with her asshole. Suddenly Jeanne arched her back and screamed. I kept my face buried in her ass while her entire body shook with pleasure. Gradually Jeanne's orgasm subsided. She collapsed on the bed. I moved up and lay next to her. After a moment she kissed me and said; "That really was fun." "Yes it was." "Which did you enjoy more? Doing it or receiving it." "I think doing it." Really? Tell me why." "You got so excited while I was doing it. I'm discovering that I enjoy giving you pleasure." "You rubbed my clit while you were doing it. I think that made a difference. I didn't play with your cock because I was afraid I'd make you cum. I still want you to fuck my butt before we go to sleep." I understand and you were right. If you'd stroked me I'm pretty sure I would have cum." "After we shower in the morning I'll give you a blow job. I'll do it as part of the blow job and make you cum." "I'd like that." "I like giving pleasure too." "I know you do." "That's why I like going to Brady's Pub so much." "I know that." "I suppose you do. You know me pretty well. Does it bother you? You know, because I like to give other men pleasure." "It did at first, but I'm getting used to the idea. Seeing you happy makes me happy." "I promise that you'll always come first." "Is that a pun?" Jeanne giggled. "Yes, I guess it is." I kissed Jeanne. She smiled, but then her smile disappeared. I watched her. It was obvious that she was thinking. Finally she said; "Michael I want to say something. I think it's important." "Okay." "I'm afraid that you might take it the wrong way and I don't want that." "I'll try to listen to you and understand what you tell me. If you think it's important you do need to tell me. Remember, the only way this can work is if we're completely honest with each other." Jeanne nodded and then she took a deep breath and said; "I understand why we fell in love, got married and are so happy with each other. We're very similar people. We care about each other and we're both usually considerate about each others feelings. I say usually because I really fucked up on this one." I smiled. Continuing, Jeanne said; "I think that's one of the reasons I enjoy dating other men." I suddenly understood exactly what Jeanne was trying to say and I had to admit that it made perfect sense to me. It actually helped me understand and accept what she was doing. "Jeanne I think you're telling me that both of us are givers and once in a while you'd like to have sex with a man who's a taker so you can focus all of your attention on pleasing him." Jeanne considered that. After a moment she said; "That's exactly what I was trying to explain. Is that all right? I mean I wouldn't want that all the time. You're a wonderful, caring lover. I love you and sex with you is always magnificent, but once in a while it would be fun to have sex with a really demanding man." "Yes, it's all right. In fact it helps me understand what you're doing." "Really?" "Yes, it makes sense to me." "Thank you Michael, thank you for having such an open mind." "So tell me, is Trent Peters a demanding sex partner?" Jeanne stared at me. Suddenly realizing that she thought I was upset, I said; "Jeanne I'm not angry." "Okay, but you have to understand that the last time we talked about him you hung up on me." "Yes, I'm sorry about that. There are still going to be times when my emotions get the better of me. Also, the sex we've enjoyed this evening has helped me a lot. I don't feel as neglected as I did before." Jeanne nodded. "That's why I knew I had to come out here. I had to make sure you knew that I found you sexually desirable." I smiled. "You've done a pretty good job of that." Jeanne smiled back at me. I said, "So tell me, is Trent Peters a demanding lover?" "Michael, are you sure that you're not angry." "Yes, I'm positive." "Then I don't understand, why are you asking me about him?" "Do you remember what I said to you during our telephone call last night? It was just before you told me about Trent Peters." "We talked about a lot of things, but the call ended so disastrously that I've forgotten most of it. After you hung up all I could think about was how to find a way to talk to you again."

Awakenings Ch. 06 I closed my eyes and imagined Jeanne and a strange man together in the back seat of his car. It would be a luxury sedan, maybe a Mercedes Benz or a Lexus. They were making out. Jeanne's blouse was unbuttoned and her brassiere was unfastened. The man was fondling her @@@@@@@ breasts. Jeanne unbuckled the man's belt, pulled down his zipper, opened his suit pants and took out his cock. He was hard. She leaned down, slipped it into into her mouth and started sucking him just like she was sucking me. Suddenly I heard Jeanne giggling and then I realized that she'd stopped sucking my cock. I opened my eyes. She was looking at me. "Michael, what were you just thinking about? Baby I've never seen your cock this hard." Feeling a little embarrassed, I said; "Nothing, I was just enjoying what you were..." I stopped myself in mid sentence. I was expecting Jeanne to tell me the truth. She had every right to expect the same honesty from me. Still a little embarrassed about admitting what I'd really been thinking, I quietly said; "I was imagining you giving a guy a blow job in the back seat of his car in the parking lot behind Brady's Saloon." Jeanne stared at me. After a moment she asked; "And that got you excited?" Suddenly overwhelmed with shame I shrugged and looked away. Quickly grasping the stress this admission was causing me, Jeanne said; "Baby, I'm not judging you or criticizing you. I'm really not. In fact I think it's unbelievably hot and kinky. I love it." Jeanne was still holding my cock, but the nervous tension I'd just felt was causing me to lose my erection. Realizing it, Jeanne bent over and sucked me again. Relieved by her reaction I relaxed. My cock stiffened immediately. As soon as I was hard again Jeanne pulled herself up and straddled my hips. Grinning at me she said; "Wanna tell me about it while we fuck?" Laughing, I answered; "Isn't that kind of kinky?" With a glint in her eyes, Jeanne said, "Damn right big boy." And then she lowered herself onto my cock. She was so wet that I slipped right into her. When the old Jeanne and I had sex she usually had to use a commercial lubricant. The new Jeanne didn't need that. As soon as I was all the way inside her Jeanne leaned forward and started rubbing my nipples with her fingertips. "Michael play with my tits while we fuck." I reached up with both hands and began massaging Jeanne's large breasts. She smiled and said; "I love it when a guy plays with my tits." "You have beautiful tits. I'll bet they all enjoy playing with them." "They do. Is that okay? Is it all right that I let other men play with my tits?" Remembering my conversation with Charles Montgomery, I said; "You enjoy it. You just told me that." "Yes I do." "Then it's all right. I love you. I want you to enjoy yourself." "Does it excite you Michael? Does it excite you when you think about other men playing with my tits?" "It does right now." "Because you're aroused." "Yes." Grinning at me, Jeanne said; "Then I guess I'll have to keep you perpetually aroused." I laughed. "That could be fun." "I think so too." Up to this point Jeanne had just been sitting on my cock. Now she started to rock back and forth. She moved slowly, rhythmically. I remembered her comment that sex and dancing were closely related. She was dancing with me. I liked it. "Tell me what you were thinking about a moment ago. You know, while I was sucking your cock." It seemed like I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn't. Jeanne had become so free and open about sex that I felt like I could reveal even my deepest and most secret fantasies to her. I was also incredibly aroused. My gorgeous wife of twenty-seven years had just sucked my cock. Now she was on top of me; slowly fucking me while she played with my nipples and I fondled her big beautiful breasts. At that moment talking about a kinky fantasy seemed like one more tantalizing spice. Still, it was a little scary. I was the product of years of social conditioning. A proper husband wasn't supposed to get excited when he imagined his wife sucking another man's cock. I immediately understood. This was exactly what Jeanne was trying to explain to me. Just because people tell you something is wrong doesn't make it wrong. As long as no one is getting hurt, we all have the right and even the obligation to live by our own moral code. When Jeanne sucked a guy off in the parking lot behind Brady's Saloon she wasn't hurting anybody and when I got excited imagining her doing it I wasn't hurting anyone either. I'm a voyeur. I've known that for years. I love watching adult movies. A lot of other people do too. The adult film industry is huge. This was just another form of voyeurism. Suddenly I was not only willing to tell Jeanne what I'd been imagining, I wanted to tell her. Grinning and excited I said; "I was imagining you were with a man you'd just met in Brady's Saloon. The two of you were in the back seat of his car." Still slowly rocking back and forth on my cock, Jeanne said, "It was parked in a dark corner of the parking lot, a place where no one would see us." "It was a big sedan." "It was a Buick, a large black Buick with a spacious back seat. What did the man look like?" "He was a little younger than me, maybe forty or forty-one." "Was he handsome?" "Very, he was tall and fit too. It was easy to see why you were attracted to him." "I was. The moment I saw him in the bar I knew I wanted him. Tell me what we were doing in the back seat of his car." "You were making out with him." "Yes I was. I love making out with guys." "Your blouse was unbuttoned and your brassiere was unfastened." "Was he playing with my tits?" "Yes." "What was I doing?" "You were unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants." "I was eager to see his cock." "Did he have a big cock?" "Not really. It wasn't as big as yours, but it was still nice." "How did you know that?" "Before we left for the parking lot we made out in one of the back booths in the bar. I played with it while we made out." "Tell me why you were eager to see his cock." "I love cocks. I love looking at them, I love playing with them, I love sucking them and I love getting fucked by them. I'm a slut Michael, you're married to a slut. Is that okay? I hope it is because I love being a slut." "And it doesn't hurt anybody else." "Not even you? Does it hurt you Michael?" "Sometimes, not as much as it did at first. Now I'm starting to enjoy it." "I'm glad. I want you to enjoy it. I want us to be able to enjoy it together." "I'm a voyeur Jeanne. I always have been." "I know. You've always liked dirty movies. That used to bother me when I was a prude. It doesn't anymore. Now I'm glad you like them. Now I want you to watch them. I want you to watch them and imagine that I'm the woman in the movie." "And you're sucking another man's cock." "Yes, I'm sucking another man's cock." During this exchange Jeanne had gradually been increasing the tempo of her movement. Now she was rocking back and forth on my cock with relentless abandon. I let go of her breasts, slid my hands down to her rear and started bucking my hips in time with her rocking. Jeanne cried; "Yes Michael, that's what I want. Fuck me! Fuck me hard! She let go of my nipples and started massaging her clit with the fingers of both of her hands. We forgot about fantasies and talking and concentrated all of our attention on fucking. I felt the familiar warm glow building in my loins. Suddenly Jeanne's body stiffened and then she arched her back and cried, "I'm cumming!" As her body started to shake the first spurt of my semen erupted into Jeanne's cunt. We were both consumed by a storm of orgasmic ecstasy. The storm raged for several seconds before it began to abate. Gradually we both relaxed. Leaning forward Jeanne placed a hand on each side of my shoulders to support herself and then she looked down at me and smiled. I grinned up at her. She giggled and said; "That was wonderful." I nodded. "It really was." "I love you Michael." "I love you too Jeanne." Jeanne lowered herself to my chest. She sighed as my softening cock slipped out of her cunt. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly to me. She whispered, "I could spend the rest of my life right here in your arms." I smiled. "That would be okay with me." We held each other for several minutes. Finally Jeanne rolled off of me and said; "That was wonderful. I'm pretty sure that was the first time you and I ever orgasmed at the same time." "I believe you're right." "It was fun." "Yes it was. Have you ever had a simultaneous orgasm with one of your other men?" Jeanne was silent. After a moment she said; "Yes, I suppose that is a fair question. From now on I'll have to be careful about how I phrase statements like that. No Michael, I haven't. You're the only person I've ever orgasmed with simultaneously." "It would have been okay if it had already happened with another man. It's going to happen. It's inevitable." "Yes, I suppose it is. I cum a lot easier now than I used to." "Yes you do." "Is that okay? Does it bother you that I cum when I'm with other men?" "No, not at all. In fact I'm glad you do. I love you, I want you to enjoy yourself." "That's the second time you've said that tonight. It's an interesting position to take." "Why? I do love you. I should want you to be happy." "Yes and while I am grateful that you feel that way, I don't think it's the position that most husbands would take." "Most women your age don't suddenly decide to become sluts." I paused and then I quickly said, "Was it okay that I said that? I wasn't trying to be demeaning." "It was fine. I know you weren't trying to be demeaning. I like the term. It makes me feel free. The people who view it as a pejorative are the same ugly judgmental people who preach the puritan dogma that kept me inhibited for most of my life." Chuckling, I said; "My wife is a slut and I'm starting to like it." "Really?" "Yeah, I think I am. It certainly has its benefits." "What do you mean?" "Jeanne, I just had the best sex of my entire life. I never even imagined that it could be that good." "It was fun, wasn't it." "Yes it was and so what if you occasionally go out with another man. As long as you keep me well satisfied it really doesn't hurt me. Actually I'm finding that it compliments my voyeurism." "Baby, I will keep you well satisfied. I promise." Jeanne giggled. "It will be a labor of love. I also promise to always tell you about my dates when I get home. That way you can enjoy them too." "I'd like that." Jeanne was quiet. After a moment she said; "Michael?" "Yes." "Since you seem to be adapting to all of this so well do you think that maybe you might be able to come home a little earlier than you planned?" I shook my head. "I'm sorry Jeanne, I'd like to do that, I really would; but I can't risk it." "Why not?" "I need time to get used to all of this. It's much easier to accept your dating when I'm two thousand miles away. Jeanne that evening you went out with Derek Fischer was the worst night of my life. Seeing you with your hair done, all made up and wearing a new dress and knowing it was for another man was unbelievably painful. Watching him kiss you on our front lawn was awful and then hearing that he'd taken you to the Kennsington Grill and you held his hand during dinner was unbearable." "Michael I'm so sorry I did those things. I was a thoughtless bitch. I'd give anything to be able to go back and change all of it." "Jeanne I wasn't trying to drag all of that up again. We've discussed what happened that night. You apologized and made an effort to explain how it happened. I've accepted your apology and understand what happened. I only brought it up so that you can understand why I can't come home right away." "But Michael I won't make those same mistakes again. I promise." "Jeanne they really weren't mistakes." "What do you mean?" "Don't you enjoy getting dressed up for a date? Isn't that part of the fun. Earlier you told me that you love making out with guys. When you bring a guy home so you can entertain him in your play room won't you want to kiss him in our living room or maybe hold his hand? "On the evenings I have dates I could get ready at Tricia's apartment. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. I wouldn't have to bring my dates home. We could go to a motel. You wouldn't see me until I came home. That could work, couldn't it?" "I thought about something like that, only I was the one who would leave. I could stay at a motel while you prepared for your date and then entertained him at home. I almost had myself convinced that it would work, but it wouldn't." "Why not?" "It makes dating inconvenient for you. Even if I'm the one who leaves. I know you. You're a considerate person. Every time I have to leave you'll feel guilty that your inconveniencing me. Either way, whether you leave or I leave; I'm afraid you'll start to limit the number of times you go out with other men. Jeanne when I come home you still have to be able to freely live your new life as a slut and I have to be able to fully accept what you're doing. If you have to start limiting your behavior in order to appease me I think it's likely that you'll start resenting me. If that happens I fear that it will be the beginning of the end of our marriage." Jeanne nodded. I continued. "Before I can come home I have to reach a point where I can be comfortable watching television in the den while you entertain a man in your play room." "Do you think you can reach that point?" "Before this weekend I would have said probably not, but talking to you has helped. The wonderful sex is helping too." "Michael I'm sorry. You should have been benefiting from my new attitude about sex long before I started dating." "I know. We've discussed that too. I understand why that didn't happen and you're doing a good job of taking care of that now." "I'm trying, I really am. "Yes you are." Michael earlier tonight you told me that we can have more weekend get togethers like this one. Can we really do that." "Of course we can. In fact I think they're essential. I also intend to create a new email address for your use only and before you go home I'll give you my cell phone number. I now realize that we need to talk regularly." "Thank you, not being able to communicate directly with you was awful." "I'm sorry I had to cut off communication with you. I needed some time to heal." "I'm sorry I hurt you." "That's over, now it's time to start rebuilding our life together." "Michael I can't begin to tell you how much I want to do that." "I know Jeanne, I want that too." End of Awakenings Ch. 06

Awakenings Ch. 06 "Oh yes." Laughing, I said; "You do give an excellent blow job." Jeanne grinned. "Thank you kind sir. I enjoy giving them. Would you like one?" "Yes I would, but only as a preliminary. I'd like to finish what we started earlier." "So would I." Jeanne got up on her knees. "Baby lie back and make yourself comfortable. I'm about to demonstrate one of the many advantages of having a slut wife." "Jeanne, I still need to ask one more question." "Okay" She sat down again. "How do I compare to the other men as far as size? I'm afraid I'm not big enough to please you. You mentioned that one of the guys was eight inches. I'm no where near that big." "I also told you that I made him stop fucking me because it hurt." "Yes, but you did that because he was too aggressive." Jeanne smiled at me for a moment and then she said; "Michael, I think cock size is a lot more important to men than it is to women. How a guy uses his cock is what really matters to us." "So you're telling me that I'm small." "Damn it Michael, that's not what I'm telling you. I'm trying to get you to understand that for women cock size isn't really all that important. There are a few women who are size queens, but I think that's more like men who are fascinated by women with large breasts. Most women prefer an average sized cock. They're more comfortable. I also repeat what I said earlier. How a guy uses his cock is more important than its size." "Jeanne everything you're telling me makes sense and I believe you, but you have to understand that what you're doing has shaken my confidence as a man. I'm terrified that I'm a tiny dicked wimp who can't satisfy his wife. That's why I lost my erection earlier." "Baby, I'm so sorry that I did that to you. Please believe me when I tell you that you have never been an inadequate lover. You have always been a wonderful in bed. I was the one who was inadequate." "Please tell me the truth. I have to know." "Okay, in the past three months I've played with about twenty different cocks. Three of them were larger than yours. One was a couple of inches longer than your cock." "That was the eight inch cock." Jeanne nodded and then she continued. "Three or four of them were at least an inch shorter than yours." "They were?" "Yes and they were still fun." Laughing, I said; "Okay, I get it." "Baby, I think your cock is about average or maybe even a little larger than average. You're pretty thick, which is a lot more important than length." "Really?" "Yes, but you're a practical man. Let's get some real data. Turn on your computer." Jeanne stood up, walked over to the dresser and opened her purse. "What are you doing?" Ignoring my question, Jeanne said; "Turn on your computer." "Okay." I got up, walked over to the desk and switched on my computer. As the computer was booting up Jeanne joined me. I noticed that she was holding the small cloth tape measure that she always carried in her purse. I smiled. "Are you going to measure me?" "Damn right I am. It's the only way you'll know for sure." "Okay." "Sit down in the chair." "Why?" "Don't argue, just do it." Laughing, I said; "All right." I sat down in the desk chair. After setting the tape measure on the desk Jeanne kneeled between my legs and picked up my stiffening cock. Holding it with both of her hands, she said; "I want you really hard for this." Realizing what she was doing, I nodded. Jeanne slipped my cock into her mouth and started sucking me. Once again it was wonderful. After about a minute of pure ecstasy Jeanne sat back and looked up at me. "That got you nice and hard, didn't it?" "Yes it did." We were both grinning. Picking up her tape measure, Jeanne said; "Now sit still." I watched as she carefully measured the length of my erect penis. After a moment she looked up at me and said; "Six and one quarter inches." I nodded. Jeanne then used the cloth tape to measure the circumference of my cock. When she was finished she stood up and said. "Four and three quarter inches." She set her tape back on the desk and said, "Now I want you to Google, The average length of an adult male penis." "Do you really think we'll find something?" "Sweetie, this is the Internet. These days you can find anything." "Yeah, okay." "I'll also bet that this is a popular search." Chuckling, I said; "You're probably right." I typed in the search. We got ten pages of results. Jeanne said, "Isn't the Internet wonderful?" We both laughed. I opened one of the web sites. We started reading. We learned that early studies had reported the average length of a penis as about six and a half inches. Researchers had recently decided that those figures were skewed because the men were allowed to do their own measuring and they had a tendency to round their results upward. Current studies based on more accurate data reported an average penis length of about five and one half inches and an average circumference of about four and a quarter inches. As we were reading Jeanne started giggling. I looked at her and asked, "What's so funny?" Still giggling, Jeanne said; "I want to get a job as a penis measurer." We both burst out laughing. We looked at four other web sites. They all reported the same information. The web sites all also stated that penis size was a much bigger issue for men than it was for women. As I shut my computer off Jeanne said, "So, you're cock is just a little larger than average. I happen to think that it's the perfect size. Do you believe me now?" Smiling, I said; "Yes I do.' "Wanna start fucking again?" "Yes please." "Would you be willing to give me a little warm up with your tongue first?" "I'd love to do that." Jeanne hopped on to the bed and spread her legs. "Come on sailor, let's have some fun." I lay down between my wife's legs. As I kissed her already sopping pussy I once again realized that despite all the insecurity her new life style had created for me I had to admit that really did like the new Jeanne. As I kissed and licked my wife's cunt she became increasingly wet and slippery. I smiled. It really was fun being married to a woman who loved sex. In the past the old Jeanne had occasionally allowed me to go down on her. It was rare, but it did happen. Usually it was after a romantic dinner that included several cocktails and a bottle of wine. Even then, even after her inhibitions had been eased by alcohol she still rarely produced much natural moisture. Now Jeanne gushed like a trollop and I loved it. I buried my face in Jeanne's cunt and reveled in her wetness. I tried to coat my my lips, my nose, my cheeks and my chin with it. Above me Jeanne started giggling. That excited me even more. She was actually enjoying what I was doing. I pushed my tongue into her opening. She was still stretched and loose from our previous coupling. I fucked her with my tongue. Still giggling, Jeanne began gyrating her hips. My already rampant excitement mushroomed. I started licking the full length of her cunt. Above me Jeanne snickered and said, "Michael you nasty devil. I love this." That excited me even more. I found her clit, sucked it into my mouth and began flicking it with my tongue. At the same time I pushed a finger into her and started fucking her with it. Jeanne screamed "Michael, that feels fucking amazing." Madly gyrating her hips she grabbed my head and held my face tightly against her clit. I kept sucking it and flicking it with my tongue while I finger fucked her at the same time. Suddenly I felt her muscles tense and then still holding my face pressed to her engorged clit she screamed and started to shake. Her hands tightened their grip on my head. For a moment I feared that she might crush me, but then her iron grip eased. Several seconds passed. Finally Jeanne let go of my head and melted into the bed. I pulled myself up so that I was lying next to her and gently stroked her hair. After moment she smiled at me and then she started to giggle. I said, "what?" Jeanne grinned at me. "Michael, you don't ever have to worry about being an inadequate lover. Baby that was magnificent." I beamed with pride. Jeanne popped up. "Come on, lie back. I want to keep going." Still grinning, I said; "Okay." I lay back on the pillows. Jeanne moved down the bed. My cock was sticking straight up. Resting her arm on my stomach, she wrapped the fingers of her other hand around my stiff shaft and began slowly stroking it. At the same time she said; "Michael, you have a beautiful cock. I'm madly in love with it. It will always be my favorite." Leaning forward, she kissed it and then she parted her lips, took the head into her mouth and started sucking me. "Jeanne that feels wonderful" She stopped, sat up and grinned at me. "Do you like that?" "Very much." "When you come home I'll do it for you every day for the rest of our lives." "Even when we're old and wrinkly?" I was grinning at her. "Even when we're old and wrinkly." We both laughed and then Jeanne put my cock back into her mouth and started sucking me in earnest. It was wonderful. The new Jeanne knew how to give a great blow job. I smiled. Twelve guys in the parking lot at Brady's Saloon. She'd definitely been practicing. And then I realized something. It didn't bother me. I wasn't jealous. All she was doing was having fun and I had to admit that this really was fun.

Awakenings Ch. 06 Sighing, Jeanne said; "This is one of the penalties I have to pay for my stupidity." She sat up. "For the rest of my life I'll regret dropping this on you out of the blue. Before I started experimenting with other men I should have spent months making sure you knew that you were my favorite lover, my best lover, my perfect lover. Michael, the other men will never be able to compete with you." "Are you trying to tell me that some of them don't have bigger cocks than I do? That some of them can't last longer than I can?" "No that would be a lie. Some of them do have cocks that are bigger than yours; some of them can last longer than you can and yes, almost all of them make me cum." Jeanne paused. After a moment she said; "But none of them fulfill me like you do. Michael, I love you. You're my soul mate. The other men are fun, but that's all they are and that's all they'll ever be. They're cheap thrills, carnival rides. Yes it's true, I do enjoy them; but I also enjoy roller coasters and scary movies. Michael, I know this will be hard for you to understand; but you're not competing with these other men. You've already won that contest. You have me, I love you. You own my heart and my soul. Other men occasionally get to enjoy my body, but that's all they get and that's all they'll ever get." "But..." "Michael I now realize that I made a serious mistake. I was stupid. I was eager to experiment, but I forgot that I needed to experiment with you first. For years you were saddled with a sex partner who was an uptight prude. Suddenly all of my inhibitions are gone and I'm doing things with you that you'd only been able to fantasize about in the past. You're excited. Of course you're going to cum quickly." Jeanne thought for a moment and then she said; "There are going to be men who have bigger cocks than you do and some of them are going to be better at fucking than you are, but that doesn't mean you won't always be my favorite sex partner. If I started playing golf I'd probably meet some men who are better golfers than you are and while occasionally playing with them would be fun, you would always be my favorite golf partner. I love you." "Jeanne I know I should believe you. I want to believe you. Actually, I think I do believe you. The fact that you're here says a lot. Still, this is difficult." "I know it is Michael. I'm sorry I'm putting you through it. I wish I'd done a better job of preparing you for it." Shrugging I said; "That's in the past and there isn't anything we can do to change it. Right now you are doing a good job of making me feel loved and important to you." "You are loved and important to me. No man will ever be more important to me." "I'm beginning to believe that, but I still worry that whenever we make love you'll be comparing me to the other men." Jeanne thought for a moment and then she said; "I suppose I will be. It would be hard to avoid doing that. That doesn't mean that you won't always be my favorite sex partner." "Because you love me." "That's right and that adds so much excitement to our sex. Please believe me Michael, sex with you will always be better than sex with any other man." "So why are you doing this?" "You mean the other men." "Yes." "Michael, you like ice cream." Immediately realizing where Jeanne was going I laughed and said; "Yes I do and while chocolate chip will always be my favorite flavor I do occasionally enjoy other flavors." "But you always go back to chocolate chip, don't you." "Yes I do." "Baby you're my chocolate chip." I grinned at Jeanne. She kissed me. I kissed her back. She whispered, "I love you so much." I whispered back, "I love you too." "Michael promise me that while you're gone you'll keep loving me." "I will. Will you promise that You'll keep loving me?" "Of course I will." "I'm sorry I have to be gone. It's something that I have to do." Michael I understand what you're doing and why you're doing it. While I don't like it, I have to admit that I agree with it. I foolishly started this journey without you and because I did that you now need time to come to terms with the changes I made in our lives. You used to have unwavering trust in me. I shook that trust. Now we need time to rebuild it." "This weekend is helping." "I was hoping it would. Do you think we could have some more weekends like this?" "I'd like that." We smiled at each other. After a moment I asked, "So how do I compare to the other men." "Michael!" "What? Am I so bad that you're afraid to tell me?" "Didn't you hear anything that I just said to you?" "Yes, you told me that you love me and because you love me you'll always enjoy sex with me. That doesn't leave me feeling very confident. Jeanne you have to understand that ever since that evening you announced that you were going to start dating other men I've had a nagging fear that it was my inadequacy as a sex partner that drove you to take that action." "Michael you know that isn't true." "Do I? Since that evening what have you said or done that would make be believe it wasn't true? What I heard you say to Derrick Fischer that Saturday morning certainly didn't boost my confidence." "What did I say?" "Don't you remember?" "No, I don't. That was a horrible morning. I've tried to forget it." "I think about it all the time. I wish I could forget it, but I can't." Jeanne quietly asked, "What did you hear me say?" "I heard Fischer first. He said, Damn Jeanne, you really do love to suck my cock, don't you." "What did I say to him?" "You said, I do. I think that surprises me even more than it does you; but it is true. I do love to suck your cock. It's both beautiful and beguiling. I was taught to believe that cocks were dirty and nasty. That's a lie. Cocks are wonderful. Your cock is wonderful. I love your cock. I love to suck your cock." "I said, your cock; your cock is wonderful." "That's exactly what you said." "I'm not questioning your memory. I'm sure that is what I said. That was certainly how I was feeling at that moment." Jeanne slowly shook her head. "Michael I'm so sorry. Hearing me say those words to another man must have been terribly painful for you. Especially since I was always so inhibited with you." "Yeah." "You do understand that there is more than one way to interpret those words." "Yes, I understand that." "I've never given you any explanation, so I can't blame you for assuming the worst." "I've never given you an opportunity to explain what you said." I wasn't trying to tell Derrick that I loved his cock more than yours." "That is one way to interpret those words." "Yes it is, but that wasn't what I was trying to say." "What were you trying to say?" "For my entire life I've been an uptight prude. I was taught that cocks were dirty and nasty. I was also taught that any girl who sucked a cock was dirty and nasty." Jeanne looked at me. "I did give you blow jobs on special occasions." "Yes you did, but you were never eager about it. It was obvious that you never enjoyed doing it. "I'm sorry, you're right. I didn't enjoy doing it. I was too inhibited to enjoy doing it. The morning after I gave you a blow job I was always so ashamed about what I'd done that I was afraid to face you." "I didn't know that." "The girls finally convinced me that cocks weren't dirty and nasty. They made me understand that if a man bathes regularly his cock is going to be just as clean as any other part of his body." Sighing, Jeanne added; "You should have been the recipient of my first enthusiastic blow jobs. You weren't and I'm horribly ashamed about that. Why did I do it for another man first? I think your friend provided a pretty good explanation for that." "You're talking about Jennifer Rawlins." "Yes." Smiling, I said; "It was difficult for you to admit to me that you'd turned into a cock hungry slut." Jeanne laughed. "Yes Michael, it was." "So you're telling me that even though you never enjoyed sucking my cock, when you told Fischer that you loved sucking him it wasn't meant as a reflection on me." "Not at all, in fact I was planning to try to get you to let me give you a blow job when you came home that afternoon. I wanted it to be a very special one." "I enjoyed the one you gave me when you got here this afternoon." "I enjoyed giving it to you too. In a few minutes I'll give you another one, but first I have to answer the question you asked me earlier. I now understand why it's so important to you." "You're talking about how I compare to the other men who have had sex with you." "Yes." "Please tell me the truth." "Don't worry, I will." "Okay." "Earlier tonight I told you that since this started three months ago I've let nine men fuck me and I've given blow jobs to another twelve men." "Yes." "I quickly learned that you're a good lover. No, you're a very good lover." "Jeanne please don't coddle me. I want to hear the truth." "Michael, I am telling you the truth. You're a gentle and considerate sex partner. Several of the men I've been with weren't. While they were fucking me it was abundantly clear that all they cared about was their own pleasure. You've always tried to give me pleasure." Jeanne smiled. "I was always such a prude that I don't think that was very easy for you." "Even when you were a prude I enjoyed sex with you and you're right; I've always tried to please you." "I know you did Michael and while that's one of the reasons you're a good lover, it's not the only reason." "Okay." "Michael, you're a graceful lover. Until I started dating other men I never realized how important that is." "I don't understand." "Sex and dancing are closely related. To be done well they both require rhythm and grace. Two of the guys who fucked me were awful. As soon as their cocks were inside me they started pumping in and out of me as hard and fast as they possibly could. That's fun at the end, but at the beginning guys have to be slow and gentle. They have to be dancers. Baby you're a dancer. Believe me, women appreciate that." I nodded. Jeanne continued. "One of the guys was big. He had to be at least eight inches. When he started ramming and jamming that monstrosity into me it actually hurt." "What did you do." "I stopped him. Sex should feel good. It shouldn't be painful." "Was he okay with that?" "I gave him a blow job instead." "And that made him happy?"

Awakenings Ch. 06 I continued. "Maybe the real question is, do I think that what you're doing is wrong?" Jeanne stared at me. I said, "You're now choosing to live a life that goes against the basic moral conventions of our culture. We've discussed that and it's clear that you've thought about those moral codes and rejected them. I have to admit that your arguments make some sense. Ultimately I have to evaluate what you're doing using my own fundamental moral code. Are you hurting anybody? I don't believe you are, so it's difficult for me to say that what you're doing is wrong." "I've hurt you." "I'm not so sure you have. You've upset me and it is possible that you've damaged our relationship, but that will only be the case if I decide that I can't live with a woman who has your moral code. That's my problem, not yours. As long as you're not hurting anyone you get to live the life that makes you happy. "But..." "Just a moment. Have you really hurt me? I don't think you have. Have you stopped loving me?" "No, of course I haven't" "I know that. You've made it clear that for you sex can now be a purely recreational activity." "That's true." "If you'd taken up golf, should I be upset if you play golf a couple of times a week with other men? As long as you continue playing golf with me on a regular basis, I don't think I should be" Jeanne laughed. "I'll always want to play lots of golf with you." "I believe that so in my mind there are two real issues that concern us. Can I handle being married to a woman with your moral code? And is there still a place for me in your new life?" We were both silent. Finally Jeanne picked up my hand and said; "I'll always love you." I squeezed her hand and said; "And I'll always love you." "Even if you decide that you can't continue living with me?" "Yes I will. If you eventually decide that there isn't a place for a husband in your new life, will you still love me." "Yes, I will; but I don't think I'll ever make that decision." "I'm not as confident about that as you are and that's why we need time to figure all of this out." "I want to try Michael, I really do." "I do too Jeanne." "I'm willing to compromise." "So am I, but let's not worry about that until we decide it's necessary." "Okay." I pulled up to our motel room door and parked. Grinning at me, Jeanne asked, "Are you ready for some hot sex?" "Damn right." She opened her door, hopped out of the car and ran to the motel room. I followed her. As soon as we were inside the room Jeanne threw her arms around my shoulders and started madly kissing me. As she kissed me, she said; "Michael Nolan, I'll never stop loving you." I kissed her back and said, "I'll never stop loving you either Jeanne Nolan." For a moment we passionately kissed, both of us desperately trying to express the depth of our love for each other. Finally Jeanne broke off the kiss, stepped back and started undressing. "Michael take off your clothes." Keeping my eyes focused on Jeanne, I tore my shirt off. Jeanne pulled her blouse over her head and took it off. After laying it on the bed she turned to me and held up her large breasts. "Look at my tits Michael, do you like them?" I laughed. "I love them." "When we're both naked you can suck on them. Would you like to do that?" Grinning I unbuckled my belt and pushed my trousers to the floor. My erection was making a tent in the front of my boxer shorts." Giggling, Jeanne said; "Your little soldier appears to like my tits. Do you think he'd like to kiss them? Would you like to rub your cock all over my big tits?" As I stepped out of my trousers I smiled. I was definitely getting to like the new Jeanne. I tossed my pants on the bed and pulled my boxer shorts down. While I was doing that Jeanne unfastened her high heeled sandals and removed them. Then she turned around and stuck our her rear. As she wiggled out of her slacks she said; "I love wearing tight pants. They show off my ass. Michael, do you like my ass?" "Your ass is gorgeous. I love it." Jeanne stepped out of her slacks. After tossing them on the bed she turned around and stared into my eyes. Licking her lips, she slowly pushed her thong panties down her thighs. I stared at her shaved pussy. She giggled. "You like my shaved pussy, don't you." I nodded. "Wanna lick it?" I nodded again. Jeanne took off her panties and then she picked up all of our clothes. As she carefully laid them across the top of the dresser she said; "Pull down the bed covers, we need a place to play." Jeanne waited while I pulled the bed spread and blanket down and then she hopped onto the bed, plumped up the pillows and lay back with her legs spread wide. As I stared at her already moist pussy she said; "Still wanna eat me?" I said; "Very much." And then I quickly added. "Getting used to the new Jeanne is going to be fun, but at times it's also a little startling." "I have to work at it too. It's not easy to shed old inhibitions." Jeanne laughed. "Sometimes I shock myself." She paused. After a moment, she added. "Michael, I don't want to be an old prude anymore." "I don't want that either. I'm enjoying the new Jeanne. I just want you to know that there are times when you surprise me. I spent a lot of years living with the old Jeanne." "I'm glad you like the new Jeanne. I like her too." "And that's what matters the most. Jeanne, you have to be true to yourself." "I'm relieved to hear you say that Michael." We smiled at each other for a moment and then Jeanne said; "So back to my question. Do you still want to eat me." "Very much." Jeanne wiggled her finger at me. "Come here big boy. It's time for your dessert and after you finish yours I'm going to have mine." During the twenty-seven years we'd been married Jeanne had occasionally allowed me to go down on her, but she'd always been reluctant. Squeamish might be a better term to describe her feelings about it. Now she was clearly excited by the idea and her excitement fed my excitement. I eagerly crawled between her parted thighs, placed my hands on her hips and gently pulled her to me. As I kissed her moist lips I felt Jeanne shudder. I kissed her again. Jeanne whispered, "Michael, that feels so nice." I gave her a long passionate kiss. Jeanne sighed. I extended my tongue and explored her wet cunt. I tasted her. I felt her moisture on my lips. Above me Jeanne whispered, "Yes, that's what I want. Lick me, lick my cunt." Jeanne's brazen words inflamed my ardor. Burying my face in her sopping pussy, I licked her and kissed her with a fervor that I'd never before experienced. "Michael, that feels magnificent." And then, breathless with excitement, Jeanne said; "Find my clit. I want you to lick my clit. Will you do that? Will you please lick my clit." She was pleading with me. I found her clit. It wasn't difficult. It was now proudly pushing out from the hood of skin that normally cloaked it. I kissed it. Jeanne giggled with delight. I kissed it again and then I flicked it with my tongue. Jeanne cried; "Yes, that's right. Lick it, like my clit." I licked and flicked Jeanne's clit. While I was doing that I remembered something I'd seen in a Julia Ann movie. I slipped a finger into Jeanne's sopping pussy." Gasping, Jeanne said; "Oh my god, that's amazing. Do it. Finger fuck my cunt while you lick my clit." I did. We were both quickly swept up in a frenzy of unbridled lust. Suddenly I felt Jeanne's muscles tense. She froze and then she arched her back and screamed. I pulled back and waited while the waves of pleasure ravaged her body. Gradually Jeanne's orgasm subsided and then she was calm. I crawled up next to her and gently kissed her cheek. She rolled over so that she was facing me. I kissed her again. Jeanne smiled and said; "Thank you, that was wonderful." "I enjoyed it too." We lay together quietly. After a moment Jeanne sat up and said; "Now it's your turn." She once again plumped up the pillows. As I lay back on them Jeanne scooted down the bed, slipped between my legs and picked up my erect cock. "I'm going to try to keep you from cumming. When you cum I want you in my cunt." I nodded. Jeanne licked the entire length of my cock and then she slipped it into her mouth and sucked it. While she sucked it I felt her fingers massaging my balls. The sensations she was creating were unbelievable. My excitement grew quickly. Just as I began to fear that I might not be able to control myself, Jeanne took my cock out of her mouth. While she gently held it with one hand I felt her slip farther down between my legs and suck one of my balls into her mouth. This was what I'd seen her doing with Derek Fischer that Saturday morning. For a moment I felt pangs of anger and Jealousy, but then I remembered Jeanne's heartfelt apologies and sincere attempts to explain what had happened. I now understood that she hadn't meant to hurt me. She'd been trying to muddle through a difficult period of growth and change. She'd made mistakes. While her changes had been difficult, the result was a new Jeanne and I knew without any doubt that this new Jeanne was a wonderfully exciting person. I relaxed, closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensations she was creating as she kissed and licked my balls. Suddenly Jeanne let go of my cock and got up on her knees. As she straddled my hips she grinned at me and said; "I'll suck you some more later. Right now it's time to fuck. Do you mind if I start out on top?" Grinning back at her, I said; "Not at all." As Jeanne lowered herself on to my erection she said, "In this position you can play with my tits while we fuck." The new Jeanne really was wonderful. For several minutes we fucked. Having Jeanne on top of me riding my cock was a new experience. It was amazing. It was wonderful. It was something I'd only dreamed of doing with her. Now we were actually doing it. I was excited, wildly excited. I closed my eyes and tried to focus my attention. I had to do it. If I didn't I was afraid that I might cum prematurely. I didn't want that to happen. Jeanne now had other lovers, men she could compare me to. We kept fucking; but now I was anxious and fearful. I was terrified that I might fail. I was afraid that Jeanne might decide that I wasn't as good as her other men. I felt my erection softening. I panicked. And then it happened. My penis wilted and slipped out of Jeanne. Surprised, Jeanne stared down at me. "Michael what happened?" I closed my eyes. Sliding off of me, Jeanne whispered; "Baby, it's okay." Her tone was soft and soothing. That made it even worse. I didn't want to be comforted. It made me feel like a little boy who couldn't compete with the big kids. Humiliated, I turned away from Jeanne. For a moment there was silence and then Jeanne said; "Michael, please tell me what's wrong?" I didn't respond. I was too embarrassed to speak. Moving so that she was lying next to me, Jeanne pressed her soft body against my back, wrapped her arm around my chest and whispered; "I love you, I really do." I knew she was telling me the truth, but I was still humiliated. For several minutes I lay silent while Jeanne held me. Her undemanding touch comforted me. Gradually I regained some composure. Realizing that we had to talk about this, I took a moment to steel myself then I rolled over and said; "You have other men now. I'm sure that some of them are better than I am. They can last longer than I can. They can make you cum more than I can."

Awakenings Ch. 06 "I really am getting to like the new Jeanne." I was grinning. Jeanne stared at me for a moment and then she asked, "Even the Jeanne who has sex with other men?" Understanding the seriousness of her question, I carefully considered my answer. Finally I said; "Right now I'm two thousand miles away from that situation. I paused and then I added, "Unless you're planning to try to meet a guy while you're here." Still serious, Jeanne shook her head. "No, I came to see you and only you." "Thank you." Jeanne nodded. Continuing, I said; "It's harder when it's happening if front of me. Being in the same house with you while you were getting ready for your date with Derek Fischer nearly destroyed me." "I was a fool. I should have spent the two weeks prior to that date trying to suck and fuck you to death." "That would have helped. I think this weekend will help." "I'm hoping it will." Jeanne paused. after a moment she said; "That's not the only reason I'm here. You do know that, don't you? I'm also here because I love you and I desperately want to see you." "Yeah, don't worry; I know that." Jeanne reached across the table and placed her hand on top of mine. Suddenly hurt, I looked at her and pulled my hand away. "You did that with Fischer." Jeanne closed her eyes and sighed. "Yes I did and for the rest of my life I will regret doing it. I promise you that I will never again hold another man's hand while were dining in a restaurant." I nodded, but I wasn't mollified and my demeanor showed it. "Would you like to hear why I think I did it? Remember, a few minutes ago I told you that I didn't even like Derek Fischer. He was a convenient fuck and that's all he was." "Okay, tell me. Why did you do it?" "Earlier this evening, while we were in the shower, I had an orgasm." "I know." "Before I changed, when I was still Jeanne the prude, I didn't have many orgasms. If fact they were rare." I sighed. "Michael that didn't have anything to do with you. You're a wonderful lover. It was me. Most of the times we made love I was too inhibited to have an orgasm. I couldn't relax and let go." "Okay." "But I did have a few orgasms. I had them on our most romantic evenings. Those were often the nights we had dinner at the Kennsington Grill. I came to the conclusion that a little romance helped me get off. Of course I stupidly missed the fact that it was my intense love for you that made the romance so wonderful and exciting." I smiled at Jeanne. She smiled back and then she continued. "Anyway, the night I went out with Derek I wanted to have an orgasm, so I foolishly tried to recreate the circumstances that had previously resulted in my cumming during sex. Michael, I asked Derek to take me to the Kennsington Grill and while we were there I did everything I could to make it a romantic experience. I now realize how stupid that was and I hope that I haven't ruined romantic evenings for us." I reached across the table and laid my hand on top of Jeanne's. "No, you haven't ruined romantic evenings for us, but this is a good example of why we need to talk." "Thank you Michael." I winked at Jeanne. She giggled. I said, "I gather you now cum easily." Jeanne nodded. "I do. I'm not inhibited anymore. Now it's easy for me to relax and enjoy sex." She paused for a moment and then she asked, "Does that upset you?" I shook my head; "No not at all. In fact I want it to make me happy." "Really?" "Yes, I love you. Hearing about things that give you pleasure should make me happy. Charles told me that he eventually learned to enjoy Edith's affairs because they made her so happy. I'm trying to reach a point where I feel the same way about your liaisons." "But you're not there yet." "No, but I'm getting closer. This visit is helping. Talking is helping. Learning more about your new life is helping. Jeanne it's obvious that you're having fun. Being with you is fun. I have to admit that I like the new Jeanne." "Would you like to hear a secret about my orgasms?" "Yes, very much." Jeanne leaned across the table and whispered, "When I'm with a guy in his car behind Brady's Pub; if he plays with my tits and my pussy while I'm sucking his cock, I almost always cum." "It's that exciting." "It really is. Michael, I love sucking cocks. They're so incredibly erotic." "That's a real change for you." "Oh yes." "Jeanne can I ask you a question?" "Of course, you can ask me anything." "Since I left, how many men have you slept with?" "I haven't slept with any men. I told you, you're the only man I'll ever sleep with. But that's not what you're asking me, is it. You'd like to know how many men have fucked me." I nodded. "Counting Derek, nine." I quickly did the math in my head. I"d been gone for three months. That's about thirteen or fourteen weeks. Looking at Jeanne, I said; "That's not very many." Jeanne laughed. "That's not the reaction I was expecting." "It less than one guy a week." Jeanne said. "Okay. I understand. For the first month you were gone I didn't date at all. I just moped around the house. Michael, I was terrified that I'd lost you. Tricia and Jodie finally intervened and told me that I had to get on with my life. They explained that by leaving you were giving me an opportunity to experiment with this new lifestyle and you were giving yourself some time to try to understand it." "Our girls are smart. That's exactly what I was doing." Jeanne nodded and then she said; "Anyway, once I did start dating I brought a man home about once a week. Remember, I was trying to limit myself to one night stands. It takes some time to find a suitable partner. I may be a slut, but I'm not going to let a man fuck me unless I find him attractive and that includes an attractive personality." "That makes sense." "The guy also has to have some time. Remember I only date married men." Nodding, I said; "I get it. Either his wife has to be out or he has to have a good excuse for coming home late." "That's why Brady's is so much fun. It's quick and easy." I laughed. "Your nine doesn't include the men at Brady's does it." "They don't fuck me." "How often do you go to Brady's?" "Once or twice a week." "So that's another eight to ten men." "I think it's more like ten to twelve." Suddenly concerned about what she'd just admitted Jeanne looked at me and asked; "Is that okay." "Are you having fun?" "I really am." "Then I'm going to try very hard to be happy for you." "Michael, while I'm here could we find a secluded place to park. I'd like to give you a blow job in your car." "We have a perfectly good motel room." "I know, but I want you to experience everything I'm doing with other men." "Okay, it will be fun. Do you want to do it on the way back to the motel tonight?" "No this evening I have another agenda. Unless you've turned into a superstud, I'm assuming that you only have two more erections left in you. I don't want to waste them. As soon as we get back to the motel I want you to fuck my pussy. After you cum inside me I'm going to suck your cock until your hard again and then I want you to fuck my virgin ass." Laughing, I said; "I like this plan, but do you think I could possibly have a chance to eat your pussy too?" "Would you like to do that?" "Very much." Jeanne licked her lips and said, "Let's get our check." On the way back to the motel Jeanne was quiet. Sensing that something was bothering her I said; "You're suddenly awfully quiet. Is something wrong?" Jeanne looked at me and asked; "Michael do you think I've lost my mind?" Realizing that it was a serious question, I took a moment to formulate my answer. Finally, I said; "I did at first. The night you went out with Derek Fischer I thought you'd gone totally bonkers." Jeanne laughed. I smiled and then I added, "I don't think that anymore. I don't believe you're bipolar. I don't think you're having a manic episode. You're explanation of how you arrived at your decision to adopt this new life style is too well thought out." "I made some awful mistakes with you." "You did, but you were trying to make a radical change in your life. It was an emotional situation. It think errors in judgment can easily occur in situations like that." "Thank you Michael."

Awakenings Ch. 06 "You just shattered it." Jeanne smiled, "Good, it needed to be shattered." We stared at each other in silence. After a moment Jeanne asked; "Michael I'm a slut. Can you still love me?" "Yes, of course I can." I grinned. "I'm beginning to understand that living with you is going to be a whole lot of fun." "Do you really mean that?" "I do, but I'm still going to need some time to get used to this new life style." Sighing, Jeanne said; "I understand. Let's get dressed." I started putting my clothes back on. Jeanne picked up her dress. As she was hanging it in the closet I asked; "How long can you stay?" "I don't have to go back until Sunday afternoon. Is that all right?" "It's wonderful. That gives us two whole days together. Is this all right with your bosses?" "I didn't give them much choice. I didn't ask. This morning I called and told them I was going. I've worked hard for that firm for ten years. They can accommodate me on this" "What if they don't?" "I can easily live on the monthly check from the trust fund you set up for me before you left. I'd like to work, but if I have to do it I can get by without a job." Jeanne folded her lingerie and glanced at the four drawer dresser next to the bed. "Are you using all four drawers?" "Just the top two." "Can I have the bottom two?" "Of course." After putting her lingerie into the second drawer from the bottom Jeanne opened her travel bag and unpacked it. She had two pairs of slacks and several blouses. She hung one pair of slacks and two of the blouses in the closet. She laid the other pair of slacks, a blouse and a pair of thong panties on the bed and then she put an assortment of stockings and undergarments in the drawers. When that was finished Jeanne picked up her makeup kit and walked into the bathroom. "I have to put on some makeup. It won't take long." She left the bathroom door open. She was still naked. I watched. She started with her eye makeup. I noticed that she was applying a much heavier amount of eye shadow and mascara than she used to wear. Next she put on bright red lip gloss and then she sprayed her neck and cleavage with perfume. As she was putting her perfume away she said, "It's nice to be able to wear perfume. I can't do that when I'm on a date." "Why not?" "I only date married men. They can't go home to their wives with the scent of another woman's perfume on them." "That makes sense, but I never would have thought about it. How did you figure it out?" "Tricia told me." "Does Tricia date married men?" "Occasionally, she doesn't do it a lot. She doesn't have time. She's still with Paul and she gets together with Randy Parkman at least once a week. Randy is married, so I suppose that does count." "What does Paul think about all of that?" Jeanne walked over to the bed and picked up her thong panties. As she stepped into them she said; "Paul loves it." "He loves it?" "Yes, he really does. Michael some men get excited when their wives date other men. Paul is one of those men. Ruth is starting to figure out that David is too." "Have you been talking to Ruth about all of this?" "Every day, I'm advising her to go slow. I don't want her to make the same mistake I made." "You mean pushing David into something before he's ready for it." Jeanne stepped into her slacks and pulled them up. She actually had to work at it. They were skin tight. As she fastened the waist button, she said; "That's exactly what I mean." "I think that's a good idea." Jeanne picked up her blouse, pulled it over head and tugged it down. It was a beautiful deep burgundy with gold embroidery. It was also skin tight and had a low cut scoop neck that left almost all of her ample cleavage @@@@@@@. The thin stretch fabric clung to the small portions of her breasts that were still covered and failed to conceal the bumps of her nipples. Jeanne walked over to her open travel bag. She removed a pair of beige high heeled strappy sandals, sat down on the bed and put them on. As she fastened the straps I asked, "Does Jodie date married men too?" "Occasionally, she's only twenty-three. Right now she's not looking for a serious relationship, so it doesn't make much difference to her. Michael it's just recreational sex. Nobody's getting hurt." I nodded. "I know and while I get it, it's going to take a little more time before I'm able to fully embrace that concept. I still have some social conditioning to overcome." Jeanne nodded and then she stood up and twirled around. "How do I look?" I grinned. "You're gorgeous, but I have to say that your outfit is a little more daring than what you used to wear." Giggling, Jeanne said; "A little more daring? Sweetheart this is a lot more daring. I used to dress like a prude." "You were a prude." "Yes I was, but now I'm a slut. Michael I love being a slut. I love dressing like a slut. I used to be ashamed of my body, now I'm proud of it. I love having big tits and I love showing them off." Jeanne paused for a moment and then she said, "If it bothers you I can change. I brought two bras with me and I have a blouse that buttons up the front. If you want me to do it, I'll put it on and button it all the way up to my neck." Shaking my head, I said; "No, I think you look gorgeous. You're going to draw a few stares, but I can get used to that. In fact I think I might actually learn to enjoy it." "I really do hope that happens." Jeanne was grinning at me. The restaurant was crowded, but there was an open table. That was fortunate. Having to stand in line for a table was a common occurrence at this seafood cafe. The hostess led us to our table. I noticed that the eyes of every man and most of the women in the restaurant were focused on Jeanne. I had to admit that I enjoyed it. As soon as we were seated we ordered two glasses of pinot grigio and picked up our menus. By the time our wine arrived we'd both made our dinner selections. Hungry, we ordered right away. As we ordered I noticed that our server's eyes kept drifting to Jeanne's cleavage. I couldn't blame him, mine did too. After he left I said, "Our server seems to be quit taken with you." Smiling, Jeanne said; "He does seem to be fascinated by my breasts." "Most of the men in the restaurant seem to share his fascination." "Is it bothering you?" "Actually, it isn't. In fact I have to admit that I'm finding it exciting." "I was hoping that would be your reaction." We smiled at each other for a moment and then I said; "So tell me about everything that's happening at home." Jeanne spent the next fifteen minutes filling me in on the mundane details of her life and the girl's lives. I listened intently. It was exactly what I was eager to hear. I missed my family. When she was finished I told her about my trip. While I was doing that our dinners arrived. We were both starving. For a few minutes we focused our attention on our food. Once we'd taken the edge off our appetites we slowed and began talking again. Jeanne set her fork down and said; "May I ask you a question?" "Of course." "The night you met that woman." "Jennifer Rawlins." "Yes, you said you met her in a bar. Tell me about the bar? Was it a pick up bar?" Chuckling, I asked; "Are you looking for new places to find men?" Jeanne smiled, "Maybe a little, but mostly I'm curious about the type of place you go to when you're not with me." "It was the Cosmopolitan Lounge. It's downtown. It's a jazz piano bar. It's definitely not a pick up bar." "When you get back will you take me there?" "I'd love to do that. Will you promise to wear an outfit like the one you're wearing right now?" "Would you like that?" "Yeah, I think I would." "That makes me very happy." Jeanne grinned at me. I grinned back at her. After a moment she said; "So how did you end up in a conversation with the Rawlins woman?" "Jeanne are you jealous?" Jeanne considered that for a second and then she answered, "Maybe a little, but that's my problem. I understand that I don't have any right to be jealous." "You also don't have any reason to be jealous." After acknowledging my statement with a nod, Jeanne continued. "So how did you end up in a conversation with her?" "We were both sitting at the bar. We just started talking." "But it's not a pickup bar." "Definitely not." "You said that she's divorced and from what you told me about your conversation with her I gather that she's a sexually adventurous woman. If she doesn't go to pick up bars, how does she meet men?" "She told me that when she wants to meet a man for sex she goes to Brady's Pub." Jeanne laughed. "She's a back seat bunny." "You don't have to be catty." "I'm sorry Michael. I'm not being catty. I'm a backseat bunny too." "Okay, so what is a back seat bunny?" "Brady's Pub is a sports bar at the end of a suburban strip mall." "I've never been there, but I know where it is." "I doubt you know this. It has a reputation as a place where the married but cheating crowd get together." "I wasn't aware of that." "Of course you weren't. You never cheated on me. I nodded. "Brady's isn't your usual pick up bar. It's more of a quickie club." "A quickie club?" "Yes, it's a place where husbands out for an evening with the boys and wives out for an evening with the girls can get together for a little quick fun." "I still don't understand." "Okay, during the daytime Brady's is a sports bar, but after the dinner crowd leaves it turns into a dance club." "I didn't know that." "They don't advertise it. They move a few tables to create a dance floor and the big screen televisions stop showing sports events and start playing music videos. By that time people have already had a couple of drinks and done a little mingling. The dancing starts immediately and it quickly gets pretty daring. When you're dancing at Brady's there's only one rule. You have to keep your clothes on. Beyond that pretty much anything goes. There's a lot of groping and making out." "Right on the dance floor, in front of everyone?" "That's right, it gets pretty hot." "So what's a back seat bunny." "After you and your partner have gotten each other worked up on the dance floor you move to one of the back booths for a little making out, Once you're going hot and heavy you slip out to the guys car for a little more intense physical pleasure." "You mean you go out to the guy's car to fuck." "Some women do that, I don't." "Why not?" "Michael, I'm not a teenager. Fucking in the back seat of a car isn't much fun. If I'm going to let a guy fuck me we're going to do it in a bed." I nodded. "Okay, I get it. So what do you do?" "I let the guy play with my tits and pussy while I suck his cock." "He doesn't do anything for you?" "It's really easy to suck a guy's cock in a car. It's much harder for a guy to go down on a woman." "Okay, but doesn't that leave you frustrated?" "Michael, women don't need to cum every time they have sex. Sometimes a feeling of intimacy is all we want. At Brady's it's not intimacy, it's the excitement. The dirty dancing, making out with a stranger in a back booth and fondling and sucking a new cock all make it an amazingly exciting experience. If I need to get off I can do it with my vibrator when I get home." "You masturbate?" "Of course I do. I assume that you do too. Don't you do it while you're watching the Julia Ann movies?" Feeling slightly ashamed, I said; "Yes." "Of course you do and so do I. I do it all the time. I did it front of you for a few seconds when I first got to the motel. We'd be crazy not to do it. It's free, it feels great and it doesn't hurt anything or anyone. I'd be shocked if you told me you didn't masturbate."

Awakenings Ch. 06 After a moment Jeanne kissed me and said; "Michael I'm starving. I'll bet you are too." "I am." "Got any thoughts about dinner?" "How about some seafood? That is the Pacific Ocean out there." "I like that idea. Do you know any good restaurants?" "There's a very nice sea food cafe on Geary Street." "Is it very far away?" "Maybe a mile." "Is it fancy?" "Do you want fancy? If you do we can go the Cliff House. It's at the bottom of the hill." "Let's do that tomorrow night. Tonight I want casual." "The seafood cafe will be perfect." "I'd like to take a shower first, want to join me?" "I just took a shower, but I'd love to watch?" "I didn't know I was married to a voyeur." "You've always been a little inhibited about letting me see you naked. I never had a chance to be a voyeur." Jeanne sighed. "Michael I'm sorry, I really was a prude." I shrugged. Smiling, Jeanne said, "I'm not a prude anymore." She sat down on the bed, spread her legs and started fingering her shaved cunt. "You can even watch me masturbate. Would you like that? Would you like to watch your slut wife get herself off?" Laughing, I said; "I would like that, but let's do it after dinner." Jeanne stood up. As she stripped off her lingerie she said; "You're right, we're both starving, but you can still watch me shower and maybe I'll even let you wash my pussy, my ass and my tits for me." "I think this afternoon is the first time I've ever heard you say the word tits." "I know. Mine are big and when I was teenager I was taught to be ashamed of them. I tried to conceal them. Everyone told me that only sluts have large breasts." "Everyone?" "The other girls in my high school. The boys did too. At the end of a date they all got really aggressive. They couldn't keep their hands off of me. When I wouldn't let them touch me they said I was frigid. I told my mother what was happening. She encouraged me to try to hide my breasts. She started buying me heavy loose blouses, bulky sweaters and oversized sweatshirts." "You never told me that." "It wasn't easy to talk about it." I nodded. "But it's okay now. I'm not ashamed of them anymore. In fact I'm proud of them. I enjoy showing them off. It used to embarrass me when men stared at them. Now it makes me feel desirable." "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you felt so insecure about your body." "It's not your fault, I never told you. It was my deep secret." "I should have known. I didn't. I just thought you were prudish. I did try to compliment you about your figure, but when I did it you almost always ignored me." "I know. Accepting compliments about something that had always been a source of shame for me was difficult. It was easier to nod politely or ignore them all together." "I should have done something." "There wasn't anything you could have done. Overcoming my insecurity about my body was a personal challenge that I had to confront on my own." She walked over to me, picked up my hand and placed it on one of her large breasts. "I have finally vanquished that demon. Now I love it when you see me naked. I want you to stare at me. I'm proud of my body." "You should be, you have a gorgeous figure." Grinning at me, Jeanne took my hand from her breast. As she pulled me into the bathroom, she said; "Come on studman, you can watch me take a shower." As soon as Jeanne was under the shower spray she washed her face and neck. After rinsing herself she handed the bar of soap to me and said; "You can do the rest." I did. I Washed her large breasts first. I could barely control myself. It was wonderful. I washed Jeanne's back and tummy next and then I got down on my knees and did her legs and her feet. I was saving the best for last. After finishing Jeanne's feet I stood up and washed her butt cheeks. As I moved to do her pussy she said, "You didn't finish my ass." I looked at her with a puzzled expression. "You didn't wash my asshole." I stared at Jeanne in shock. She laughed. "Now who's being prudish." That was a challenge. Chuckling, I said; "It's not going to be me." Still laughing Jeanne leaned against the shower stall wall and stuck out her butt. "Okay, go to work." Excited, I rubbed the bar of soap up and down the crack of Jeanne's ass then I washed her with my fingers tips. As I was washing her I said, "This is the first time I've ever touched you here." "I know, it feels funny to have you touch me there, but it's nice funny. I like it. Will you do something for me?" "Sure, what do want?" "Would you soap up your finger and push it into my asshole." "Really?" "Are you being prudish again?" Laughing, I said; "No, but it is taking me a little time to get used to the new Jeanne." "Do you like her." "Yes I do, very much." "Good, because being the new Jeanne is a lot more fun than being the old Jeanne." "It's sure a lot more fun to shower with her." "So, will you do it?" "Do you really want me to?" "Yes I do." "What was it you wanted me to do? Tell me once more." "Are you teasing me?" "A little, but mostly I want to hear you say asshole again. Hearing you talk dirty is fun." Giggling, Jeanne said; "Asshole, cunt, cock, tits, fuck, suck." We both laughed. Jeanne said, "Now will you please push your finger into my asshole." "Yes ma'am, I'll be happy to accommodate you." "Soap it up good." "I will." I lathered the area around Jeanne's anus and then I soaped up my middle finger and tentatively pushed it into her. Jeanne gasped. I hesitated. She said, "Don't stop. It feels good. Push it in farther." "You're sure?" "Oh I am absolutely positive." I pushed my finger in to the first knuckle. The soap was a good lubricant. My finger slid in easily. Jeanne said, "Deeper." "Really?" "Yes, it feels good. Push your finger in all the way." "Okay." I pushed my finger in to the second knuckle." "Oh hell yes! Now fuck me. Finger fuck my asshole." "Are you sure?" "Yes, please do it." I started slowly pushing my finger in and out of Jeanne's anus. Feeling a little tentative about what I was doing, I tried to be gentle. She cooed, "That feels good, go faster." Jeanne's encouragement bolstered my confidence. I quickened the pace. "Yes, that's good, but faster. Do it faster." I intensified the pace even more. "Oh god yes! That's it, finger fuck my asshole." Jeanne moved her right hand to her pussy and started rubbing herself. "Michael this is amazing. Do it faster! Fuck my ass with your finger. Fuck it hard!" Aroused by Jeanne's unbridled excitement I tried to fuck her ass even harder with my finger. Suddenly I felt the muscles in Jeanne's body tighten. For a moment she was perfectly still, then she screamed and her entire body started to shake. Frightened, I pulled my finger out of Jeanne's ass and held her tightly to me. While I was certain that I knew what was happening, it was still unsettling. Gradually Jeanne's body relaxed. I continued to hold her. While I held her the spray from the shower pelted our naked bodies with warm water. I didn't care. I don't believe that I'd ever felt as alive as I did at that moment. Strength and control quickly returned to Jeanne's body. Turning, she kissed me hard on the lips. I kissed her back. A steady spray of warm water was still raining down on us. After we kissed we held each other tightly. Finally Jeanne pulled away and said; "Michael that was magnificent." "Yeah, I liked it too." And then laughing, I added; "Remember that image of the pristine wife and mother that you tried to maintain for all those years?" "Yes."

Awakenings Ch. 05 I said, "Hi Jeanne." And then I held her close and whispered, "I won't make you go away. I can't begin to describe how happy I am to see you right now. I couldn't sleep last night either. I love you too and I'm so sorry that I got mad while we were talking yesterday." "It's okay, it's my fault. All of this is my fault. My stupidity put us in an untenable situation." "You haven't done anything that's stupid. You're trying to live a lifestyle that's a little different. It's changing both of our lives. Sometimes change is difficult." "Micheal, do you think we can work this out?" "I do, but lets not try to get it all done in the next five minutes. You're here. I can't imagine anything that would have made me happier today than seeing you." Jeanne stepped back and smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to buy a new dress and get my hair done. Getting here took up my entire day." "It's okay, I'm just glad that you're here." I picked up Jeanne's travel bag, carried it into the room and set it by the bed. When I turned around Jeanne was unzipping her dress. She let it fall to the floor and stepped out of it. After picking it up and tossing it on the bed she turned and faced me. She was wearing a black brassiere, a black garter belt, a pair of black nylon stockings, black lace panties and her black high heeled pumps. I stared at her. Grinning, Jeanne said; "Do you like what you see studman?" I laughed. "Yeah, I like it a whole lot." Jeanne reached behind her back and unclasped her brassiere. As she took it off and tossed it on the bed, she said; "Take off your pants." "Jeanne don't you want to get some dinner or have a drink first?" She shook her head. "No, I need to do this right away. It's important." Understanding; I unbuckled my belt, unzipped my trousers and let them fall to the floor. After stepping out of them I picked them up and tossed them onto the bed next to Jeanne's dress. Jeanne was wearing her panties over her garter belt. She pushed them down to her ankles. I stared at her @@@@@@@ pussy. It was shaved bare." Seeing me staring, she said; "Do you like my shaved cunt?" I nodded. "Very much." "I wish you were the first man to see it, but I won't lie to you. You're not." "It's okay, I assumed that was the case." "Take off your boxers." I pushed my undershorts down and stepped out of them. My penis was sticking straight out. As I picked up my underwear Jeanne said; "I see that you have a big problem. Sit down on the bed. I'll take care of it for you." Grinning, I sat down on the bed. Jeanne kneeled on the floor between my legs and wrapped the fingers of her right hand around my erection. While I'm not a big man, I'm not small either. Erect, my penis is about six inches. Jeanne could easily wrap the fingers of one hand around it, but not two. As she began stroking me with her right hand she gently cupped my balls with her other hand. I closed my eyes. The sensations Jeanne was creating were wonderful. But then it got even better. She leaned forward and kissed the head of my cock. I gasped. Giggling, Jeanne looked up at me and asked; "Do you like that big boy?" I nodded. "I think you'll like this even more." She parted her lips, sucked the head of my cock into her mouth and started licking it with her tongue. I gasped again. She did this for maybe a half a minute and then she stopped and took my cock out of her mouth. "Michael I'm going to suck you now. I want you to relax and let yourself go. I want you to cum and when you cum I want you to cum in my mouth. I've never let another man do that and I never will. You're the only man who will ever get to cum in my mouth and I'll do it for you any time you ask me." Jeanne slipped my cock back into her mouth and started sucking me again. At the same time she stroked me and fondled my balls. The sensations she was creating were glorious. Slowly she intensified her efforts. She sucked me more vigorously and stroked me harder and quicker. As Jeanne did that my excitement grew. I felt the warm glow of pleasure building in my loins. Jeanne kept sucking me. Suddenly I felt the first spurt semen erupt into her mouth. She kept sucking me. Another spurt followed and then another. Jeanne kept sucking me. I felt the spurts of cum subside. Jeanne continued sucking me. Finally my erection started to wilt in Jeanne's mouth. She let it slip from between her lips, looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back. She said, "Did you enjoy that?" "Very much, thank you." "I enjoyed it too. Feeling you cumming in my mouth was exciting." Reaching down, I helped Jeanne to her feet. She sat next to me on the bed. I started to kiss her. She pulled her face away. "Michael, you just came in my mouth. Let me get a wash cloth and wipe off my lips." Shaking my head, I said; "If my semen doesn't bother you it certainly shouldn't bother me." Smiling, Jeanne closed her eyes and kissed me. I kissed her back and then I held her tightly in my arms. end of Awakenings Ch. 05

Awakenings Ch. 05 "He was there having a drink with a friend. I noticed him right away. He's very handsome." Jeanne paused for a moment and then she said, "I'm sorry Michael, I shouldn't have said that." "No Jeanne, I'm glad you told me that. I have to get used to the idea that you're dating good looking men." "I caught him looking at me several times. I started smiling at him. I decided that I wanted to meet him. I told the other women what was happening. They know you're gone and they know that while you're gone I'm dating other men. I haven't explained why you're gone and they've been discreet enough not to ask. I'm certain that they assume that we're having marital problems and for the time being I'm content to let them believe that." "That makes sense to me." "The women agreed that he was cute and encouraged me to go for it. I think they're all a little envious of me." "I'm sure they are." "I left to go to the ladies room. When I returned I looked directly at him. When he noticed me looking at him I gave him a wink. He smiled and winked back, so I sat down at an empty table and gave him a little head nod. It was an invitation to join me. He said something to his friend and then he picked up his drink, walked over to my table and introduced himself. I invited him to sit down and we started flirting." "You enjoy flirting, don't you." "Yes, I really do." "Did you tell him you were married?" "I didn't have to, he already knew. I always wear my wedding ring, even when I go out looking for men. The men I'm seeking won't be discouraged by a wedding ring. In fact if I'm sending the right signals it will encourage them." "That makes sense." "He did ask me about the ring. I confirmed that I was married but added that I occasionally enjoyed a little fun on the side. He told me that he was married too and also occasionally enjoyed a little extra fun." Concerned about how I was doing, Jeanne paused and asked, "Michael are you all right?" I reassured her. "I'm just fine Jeanne." "Do you want to hear more?" "Yes, this is exactly what I need to hear." "Are you mad?" "No not at all." "Are you sure?" "Don't worry, I'm fine. If I start to get upset I'll warn you before it gets out of hand." "Okay." "He told you that he was married." "Yes." "What happened next?" "I told him that you were out of town. He told me that his wife was at her book club meeting and wouldn't be home until at least 10:30. It was only 6:00 so I asked him if he'd like to come over to our house for a drink." "Of course he accepted." "He did. I wrote our address and my cell phone number on a napkin and told him that he should park in the garage. He followed me home. When I pulled into my side of the garage he pulled into your side and I closed the garage door behind us." "Why didn't you just have him park on the street? You said that you weren't trying to hide your new lifestyle." "I was trying to be considerate of you. That night Derek picked me up at the house I was indiscreet. I embarrassed you. I don't want to do that again." "But you say that you're not trying to hide your new life style. Isn't that a contradiction?" "I guess so. Michael this is all very confusing. I enjoy being a slut and I get a little thrill out of flaunting it in front of people, but I also don't want to embarrass you." "Go ahead and flaunt it. Now that I've had a chance to think about all of this I'm not all that concerned about the opinion of our neighbors. Actually I have to admit that having a slut wife is kind of exciting." "Really?" "Yes really." "Then get ready for a little excitement because your wife loves being a slut." "You're enjoying this, aren't you." "Yes I am." "That's why I have to stay away for awhile. I want you to immerse yourself in this new life." "I wish you were here. I'd like to share the excitement with you." "Jeanne I'm not yet ready for that. I think I can handle hearing about your adventures, but actually witnessing them would still be difficult for me." "I understand." "I would like to hear more about your evening with Trent Peters." "Are you sure? It might be painful for you. You do understand why he came to the house." "Yes Jeanne, I understand why he came to the house." "Of course you do. I'm sorry Michael. I'm still a little nervous about talking to you about this." "And that's exactly why we have to talk about it. If I'm going to be part of your new life we have to be able to talk about it. You have to be able to tell me about your dates and I have to be able to hear about them without getting upset. Eventually I hope that I'll be able to enjoy hearing about them. Jeanne you're excited about your new life. I want to be able to share that excitement with you." "I want that too Michael." "If that's going to happen you have to start telling me about your dates, every detail." "I understand and I'll do that, but first I need to ask you something." "Go ahead." "I've learned that I enjoy talking dirty. Would you be offended if I use some coarse language?" I laughed. "No, in fact I think it would be fun. It might also help dispel that image of a proper wife and mother that you worked so hard to maintain for all those years." Jeanne giggled. "I think that image is about to be shattered." "I'm ready." "Okay, here goes. When we got into the house I made two martinis. While I was doing that Trent was all over me. He was kissing my neck, fondling my breasts with one hand and rubbing my ass with the other." "You loved it, didn't you." "I did." Jeanne paused and then she asked. "Is that okay." "Yes, it's okay. In fact it wouldn't be a very good story if you weren't enjoying it." "You're right, it's just that...I don't know, this all feels so strange." "And that's why we have to do it. We have to try to reach a point where it doesn't feel strange." "Okay." "Please continue, Trent was kissing your neck, fondling your tits and rubbing your ass." "Yes he was, but I have to admit that while hearing you say that so casually is exciting, it's also a little unnerving." "Now don't try to put me on that pedestal that you're you're working so hard to escape." "Micheal honey, we've shared that pedestal for twenty-seven years." "Maybe in your mind. In my mind I've been a dirty little pervert for the whole time." Jeanne laughed, but then she paused. After a moment she said; "Michael, I'm sorry I was such a prude." "It's okay, now back to Trent. You're making martinis and he's rubbing your ass." Giggling, Jeanne said; "That's right. As soon as I finished the martinis we moved into the living room and sat on the couch. We clinked our glasses, took a sip of our cocktails and set them on the coffee table. I smiled at Trent. He kissed me. Our martinis were immediately forgotten. We started making out. In a matter of minutes we were both naked and I was on my knees between Trent's legs sucking his cock." Suddenly realizing how excited she sounded, Jeanne stopped. There was a long uncomfortable silence. Finally she said, "Michael I'm so sorry that I've never done that with you." There was more silence. Jeanne waited. I didn't respond. Her intuition had been correct. I was hurt. "Michael please say something." "Jeanne, I don't know what to say. Do you want me to tell you how happy I am to hear your description of how you so eagerly sucked this guys cock?" "I'm sorry Michael. I didn't intend to get so excited." "But you did get excited. It was clear to me that you were more excited about this guy's cock than you've ever been about mine." "Michael that's not true. I love your cock. I've always loved your cock." "Really? That's interesting. When was the last time you kneeled between my legs while I was sitting on a couch and gave me a blowjob. Oh I remember, never!" "Michael please understand." "Oh that's right, that was before your awakening. Jeanne at this moment it seems to me that just about every man on the North American continent but me is benefiting from your awakening." "Michael you've been gone." "I was there when Derek Fischer was getting the benefit. Hell I had the pleasure of watching you give it to him." "Michael please, you weren't supposed to come home for several hours." "You're right, that was my mistake. In the future I'll remember to make an appointment when I want to see my wife." "Michael, I fucked up. I fucked up royally. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say." "Neither do I, so I guess there isn't any reason to continue this conversation. Good bye Jeanne, it was nice to talk to you." I hung up the telephone. A minute later it started ringing. I ignored it. Eventually it stopped. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on my door. I opened it. It was John the motel manager. "Mr. Nolan, a woman claiming to be your wife is trying to reach you. You're not answering your telephone. Is there a problem?" "John right now I'd prefer not to talk to my wife. Can we leave it at that?" "Yes sir, of course we can." John started to leave. I stopped him. "Just a minute." I peeled two twenty dollar bills from my money clip. As I handed them to him I said; "Unless I tell you otherwise, I'd prefer to be left alone for the remainder of my stay here." John took the money and said; "Of course sir, if anyone calls I'll tell them that your unavailable and I'll invite them to leave a message. Will that be adequate?" "Yes, that will be just fine." A soon as John was gone I sat done in the room's big easy chair. Closing my eyes I sighed and shook my head. I knew that I'd just fucked up royally and I didn't know what to do about it. I slept fitfully that night. The next morning I awoke feeling tired, depressed and alone. I didn't feel like doing anything. I wanted to call Jeanne, but I was too ashamed to even consider doing that. The previous evening I'd coaxed her into telling me the details of her date with Trent Peters. I assured her that it would be all right. I actually convinced her that it would be therapeutic for both of us. And then while she was doing exactly what I'd asked her to do I lost my temper. I was idiot. I forced myself to make a pot of coffee and tried to read. The coffee tasted bitter and I couldn't focus on the novel I was reading. I took a shower and shaved. That made me feel a little better. Deciding that I was hungry I walked to a cafe on Geary Street and had breakfast. As I was walking back to my motel I finally noticed that it was a beautiful day. Realizing that the worst thing I could do was spend the day alone in my motel room wallowing in my misery; I hurried back to my room, got in my car and drove to the Lincoln Park golf course. A threesome of men I'd played with previously were just teeing off. I joined them. The sunshine, the good company and the golf helped restore my spirits. By the end of the round I knew that I had to call Jeanne and try to make amends for my irrational behavior. As I drove back to the motel from the golf course I was composing my apology. I got back to my motel room at about three o'clock. It was Thursday, a work day. At home it was five o'clock. Jeanne would just be leaving work. It was a bad time to call her. I decided to take a shower and call her in an hour. While I was taking my shower I realized that I was starving. I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I needed food. I dried off and dressed quickly. There was a sandwich shop six blocks away. I could grab a quick sandwich and still be at my motel room to call Jeanne at 4:30 which would be 6:30 her time. The timing should be perfect. I was tucking in my shirt when I was struck with a sudden fear. What if Jeanne had a date with Trent Peters. What if she met him for drinks and dinner after work. When they finished dinner they'd go back to our house. Jeanne would suck his cock and then he'd fuck her. I sat down on my bed and buried my face in my hands. I couldn't do this. Sharing Jeanne with other men was difficult, but it wasn't an insurmountable problem. I was reasonably certain that given enough time I could learn to accept and maybe even enjoy her affairs. Hearing her talking about doing things for other men that she'd always refused to do for me was the real obstacle. It tore me apart. It was unbearable. Still, I didn't want to lose Jeanne. She was the mother of my children and the love of my life. Living without her was unthinkable. I had to find the strength to get through this. I pulled myself together and stood up. I could do it, I had to do it and I knew how to do it. I had to begin by calling Jeanne. Communication was the answer, but we had to establish some ground rules. We needed to find a way to talk about what Jeanne was doing that wouldn't create unbearable heartache for me. As I was picking up my wallet and car keys there was a knock on my motel room door. Assuming that it was the manager I walked over to the door and said; "John what do you need?" "Michael, it's me. Open the door." It was Jeanne. "Jeanne what are you doing here?" "I had to see you." "But how did..." "Michael open the door and let me in." I smiled. That was my Jeanne. She didn't tolerate foolishness. I opened the door. Jeanne threw her arms around me and said, "Baby please don't make me go away. I had to see you. I couldn't sleep at all last night. I love you so much and I hurt you when we talked yesterday. I'm sorry I did that. I understand why you got mad. I was telling you about doing things for other men that I've never done for you. Micheal this has all gotten out of hand. I do want to play with other men, but not while you're being neglected."

Awakenings Ch. 05 I started laughing. Jeanne asked, "What's so funny?" "You just shattered one of my two greatest fears." "Explain." "I was afraid that you might fall in love with one of your boyfriends and decide to marry him." "But now you understand just how unlikely that is." "Yes." "Michael I can't imagine ever developing an emotional attachment to another man that's stronger than the one I have with you, but if it ever does happen please understand that it could only be a temporary infatuation." "It would still hurt." "You do understand that it's much more likely to occur with you." "You're talking about women throwing themselves at me." "Women who are looking for a husband. You are fabulous husband material." "I'm married." "You are, but I'm not making any effort to hide my new life style." "You're telling me that people are going to talk." "I'm sorry Michael, I really am; but they already are." "Yes, I'm sure the neighbors see the men coming to our house." "Baby, I'm sorry. This is the life I want to lead and..." "No it's okay. This is why I have to stay away. This is part of my journey. I either have to learn to live with your new life style or I have to..." "Michael, that's why women are going to be throwing themselves at you. They'll see you as vulnerable." "Jeanne if we do end up separating I promise you that I'll never marry another woman." "When I make that same promise to you, you don't believe me. Why should I believe you?" "And this is why I have to be gone for an entire year. We need time to reestablish just how important we are to each other." "But during that time you could fall in love with another woman, divorce me and marry her." "And while I'm gone you could decide that I'm an unnecessary burden that keeps you from fully enjoying life as a free loving libertine." "No Michael, I need you. You'll never be a burden to me." "And I'll never fall in love with another woman." "Michael what are we going to do?" "We're going to start working on building our new relationship." "How are we going to do that? You're gone." "You have to start living the life you really want to live. If you want to be a slut then you need to be a slut. You can't hold back." "Won't that make things worse?" "No it won't. It's the only way this can work. Jeanne I've thought about it. The only thing wrong with what you're doing is that it violates the accepted moral conventions of our culture. You've decided that those moral conventions aren't valid. Any compromises you make in the life you want to lead are compromises to beliefs that you've rejected. I fear those compromises could eventually cause you to feel dissatisfied. Even worse, if you view me as the cause of those compromises it might eventually lead you to feel resentment and even anger towards me. Jeanne, I believe that it's absolutely essential that you fully embrace your new life style." "Michael, I don't want to hurt you?" "You'll only hurt me if you stop loving me." "I'll never do that." "My job is to find a way to be confident of that. That means that I have to do what you did. I have to overcome the beliefs about sex and love that were instilled in me while I was growing up." "Can you do that?" "I'm going to try. It will help if you spend some time reassuring me that you still love me." "How can I do that? You're gone. I don't get to see you. I don't get to talk to you. I don't even get to send you direct emails." "We'll change that. I'll buy second cell phone. That will also allow you to contact me if there's an emergency. I'll get a second email address too. It will be for just you and me." "Thank you, not being able to talk to you has been so difficult." "Jeanne, we're still going to have to limit our communication." "Why?" "We've been together for a long time. We take each other for granted. You need to experience life without me and I need to experience life without you. We have to find out if we really do need each other." "But I do need you. I can't bear the thought of living without you." "Jeanne there are now going to be a number of other men in your life. I fear that you may eventually discover that you don't need me as much as you thought you did." "No Michael, I'll always need you." "The only way we can be certain of that is if you experience life without me. Jeanne when I come home I want to be confident that there will always be a place for me in your life." "Michael there always will be a place for you in my life." "How can you be sure of that Jeanne?" Jeanne was silent. After a moment she said; "Okay you're telling me that you want me to live like I was a single woman." "Yes, that would be one way to look at it." "I guess I can do that." "There's more." "Okay, tell me." "When you find a man you enjoy I want you to try dating him on regular basis." "Michael are you trying to get rid of me?" "No Jeanne, I'm not. What I'm trying to do is use the time we're apart to address some of the problems that are likely to occur after I return. I suspect that eventually you will find men that you enjoy both sexually and socially and you're going to want to see them regularly. That's going to be hard for me. I'm going to need some opportunities to get used to it." Jeanne sighed. "You're right, I've already met a guy I like. He's called me a couple of times. I haven't returned his phone calls. Out of concern for your feelings I've been trying to limit my dates to one night stands." "Remember what I said earlier. If this is going to work you're going to have to fully embrace your life as a slut. You also told me that if you do fall for a guy it will only be a temporary infatuation and you assured me that the men you date aren't looking for a wife. If this is going to work I have to be confident that all of that is true." "Okay, I'll call him." "What's his name?" "Why do you need to know that?" "If this is going to work we need total honesty. You can't hold anything back. We can't keep secrets from each other." "I understand what you're saying, but won't this make it harder for you?" "Maybe at first, but once I get used to it I think it will make it easier." "All right, his name is Trent Peters. I met him at The Goldenrod Supper Club. I occasionally go there with some of the other secretaries in the building." "I remember."

Awakenings Ch. 05 "Michael, be serious." "I mean it, I'm not sorry this happened. In fact I think it had to happen. You were ready for it to happen. You needed it to happen. Yes, I do wish you had included me in the process that led you to this, but you didn't and now that's history." "I really am sorry about that." "Don't worry, I understand. It was something that happened gradually for you." "It was. It started when the girls began telling me about they're dates when they were in college." "They were sexually active." "Very." "And you envied them." "Not at first. At first I was shocked. I tried to talk to them, but my attempts to talk quickly degenerated into lectures. I spouted the same puritanical nonsense that had been drilled into me when I was a young girl. The lectures quickly turned into arguments. Gradually the arguments turned into debates and I started to lose the debates. Eventually we just talked and then the girls started to teach me." "Why didn't you tell me about this?" "The girls asked me not to." "Why? I'm their father." "That's exactly why. It's difficult for girls to talk about sex with their father." "If you'd told me we might have been able to go through this together. We might not be where we are now. It's not good for a husband and wife to keep secrets from each other. "I know." "It's okay." I paused for a moment and then I said; "We keep getting sucked into talking about the past. We can't change the past. All we can do is try to influence what happens in the future." "I need you to forgive me." "You're already forgiven." "You've forgiven me for being stupid, but you haven't forgiven me for being a prude." "I don't understand." "Michael for twenty-seven years I was a cold fish in bed. The few times I gave you a blow job I did it so grudgingly that it couldn't have been very much fun for you. I didn't enjoy sex. It had nothing to do with you. I've learned that you've always been a wonderful, caring lover. I was just too inhibited to enjoy what you were trying to do." Jeanne paused. After a moment she said, "And now I'm eagerly doing things for men I barely know that I refused to do for you. You're the man I love. Michael I feel awful about that. And now you're gone so I can't even try to make it up to you." "It's okay, I think I understand." "You do?" "Yes, a woman gave me a pretty good explanation about why that happens." "A woman? Do I know her?" "No I met her in a bar the night before that ill fated Saturday." "You met her in a bar? Did you sleep with..." Jeanne stopped herself in mid sentence. "Listen to me. Isn't that the height of hypocrisy." "It's okay, we're both getting used to a new life style and no I didn't sleep with her. Her name is Jennifer Rawlins. Would you like to hear what she told me?" "Yes please." I told Jeanne the details of my conversation with Jennifer Rawlins. When I was finished Jeanne said, "That's a pretty good explanation. It clarifies something for me." "What's that?" "I'll tell you, but you have to promise you won't get mad." "We have to be totally honest with each other Jeanne. That means that we also have to try to hear the truth without getting angry. I'll do my best." "Okay, when I went out with Derek I was still too ashamed to reveal my new sexual desires to you, but with him it was easy. Until now I haven't been able to understand why. I didn't even really like Derek. He just happened to be in the right place at the right time." "You're telling me that he was a convenient practice partner." "That's exactly what he was." "It's hard to free ourselves from the cultural restraints that were ingrained in us while we were growing up, isn't it." "Yes Michael, it really is." "Right now I'm struggling with that same demon." "You are? How?" "In our culture real men don't share their wives with other men." Jeanne was silent. After a moment she said; "I'm sorry Michael. I never really thought about how this was affecting you. I assumed that your only problem was overcoming petty jealousy. There's a much bigger issue, isn't there." "Yes Jeanne, there is." "In it's own way it's every bit as inhibiting as the prudish restraints that are pounded into women as they grow up. How are you doing with it?" "It's a struggle, but I'm working at it. I'm making some progress. We're having this conversation." "Yes we are. You are making progress. I've always known that you're a very special man, but I'm just beginning to realize how special you really are." There was more silence. Both of us realized that because this was a battle I was currently fighting, conversation about it would be tense and potentially volatile. Artfully changing the subject Jeanne said; "Tell me more about the cocktail lounge where you met this Rawlins woman." "Jeanne are you jealous?" "Michael, I just..." Jeanne paused for a moment and then she said, "Yes, I suppose I am." "As you mentioned earlier, that's a little hypocritical of you, isn't it." "Yes Michael it is, but there's a difference for men and women." "Go on." "There aren't many men who would view me as marriage material." "Why?" "I'm too old for most younger men." "What about all that MILF stuff?" "Michael MILF means mothers I'd like to fuck, not mothers I'd like to marry." "Okay, what about older men?" "Older men, especially older men with money are looking for younger women." "Trophy wives." "That's right." "I don't believe all older men are looking for trophy wives. There have to be some older men who are just looking for a good mate." "There are; but those men aren't interested in me, at least not as a wife." "Why?" "Because I'm a slut." "That's a harsh label." "Thank you, but I don't agree. In fact I kind of like it. Define slut." Understanding where Jeanne was going, I laughed and said; "It's a woman who freely enjoys sex with a variety of partners." "Michael I'm sorry if this upsets you, but at this point in my life that's exactly what I want to be." "That's the first time you've actually admitted that to me." There was a moment of silence and then Jeanne said, "That may be the first time I've actually admitted it to myself. I've been trying to convince myself that this is just a brief adventure, but I know it's not. I'm sorry Michael, but I enjoy being a slut." "I'm glad you're finally admitting it. Now we have to figure out a way for both of us to live with that reality. That's the heart of our problem." "Yes it is. Michael, I'm so sorry. I wish..." "Jeanne you don't need to apologize. It's your life. You get to decide what you want to do with it. I love you. If this is what you want then I'm going to encourage you to do it. When we're old I don't want you to feel like you missed something." "But what about you Michael? This affects you too." "Yes it does and I'll eventually have to make decisions about my own life. I do know that I would prefer to spend the rest of my life with you. Whether or not I can find a way to do that remains to be seen. Please believe me when I tell you that I intend to try very hard. "Thank you Michael; please believe me, I want that every bit as much as you do." "Okay, back to the question we were discussing. You're a slut, why does that make you less appealing as a wife?" As soon as I said it I understood. Jeanne said, "Because..." I said, "Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt you; but I think I just got it." "You've always been a bright man. Tell me what you're thinking." "They're confronted by the same problem that's vexing me." "That's right, they know I won't be faithful to them. They don't want to take on the baggage of a philandering wife."

Awakenings Ch. 05 The next morning I was up at 6:00. I was anxious to see if Ruth and Jeanne had responded to my email. Ruth and Jeanne were in the central time zone. I was in the Pacific zone. At home it was 8:00 AM. Ruth would just be getting to work. The previous day I'd sent my email at 4:00 PM Pacific time. By then Ruth had probably already gone home for the day. This morning she would most likely tend to the firm's business before she'd read my email. She was a good employee. Jeanne was also dedicated to the law firm that employed her. She would certainly take care of her employer's business before she took the time to address her personal concerns. Realizing that it was unlikely that I'd hear from Ruth before noon I took a shower, dressed and went out for breakfast. After breakfast I took a stroll through Lincoln Park. By the time I got back to my motel room it was 12:30. I turned on my computer. There was an email from Ruth. Barely able to contain my excitement I opened it. Michael Jeanne called me few minutes ago. She just read your email. You made her very happy. Michael she wants to talk to you. I think you should let her. This is a complicated situation. It's too complicated for emails, especially emails that I'm passing along to each of you. Right now you're trying to maintain some distance from Jeanne and I understand why, but if you talk to her this one time I believe that she'll respect your desire to be left alone and not badger you with additional telephone calls. She's waiting to hear from me. If you refuse to talk to her she'll send me an email and I'll forward it to you. I hope you don't make her do that. I think you've both reached a point where you need to talk directly to each other. Please let me know what you want to do. Ruth I sat back and considered Ruth's suggestion. I had to agree with her. Jeanne and I had reached a point where we needed to talk. Still, I was concerned. For my plan to work Jeanne and I had to maintain some distance. I missed her and I was quite certain that she missed me. It would be easy to slip into a routine of talking to each other every night. And then it came to me. It was really quite simple. I typed an email to Ruth. Ruth You're right, Jeanne and I do need to talk. I've thought of a way we can do it and still preserve the distance I feel we need at this time. She can call my motel room phone. When you talk to Jeanne suggest that she wait until she gets home to make the call. I suspect it will turn out to be a long call. She'll want to be comfortable and in a place where she won't be disturbed. If Jeanne has plans after work today tell her that we can always talk tomorrow or any evening when she's free. If that does turn out to be the case, let me know so I won't be waiting for her call. Please remind her that it doesn't matter how late she calls. It's two hours earlier here. Once again thank you for acting as our intermediary. Michael I then added the name of the motel where I was staying, my room number and the motel's telephone number. After sending the email I glanced at my wrist watch. It was just after 1:00. Needing to kill time, I went for another walk. It was 2:00 when I returned to my motel room. I immediately checked my email. There was a reply from Ruth. I anxiously opened it. Michael Thank you, when I read your email to Jeanne she actually screamed with delight. I hope she didn't disturb her bosses. Those attorneys she works for pay her very well, but they're an uptight bunch. Jeanne will call you as soon as she gets home today. She thought it would be around 6:00. That would make it 4:00 on the west coast. Michael, I believe you're doing the right thing. Try to listen to Jeanne and understand. I urged her to do the same thing. Ruth Now nervous with anticipation I stood up and began pacing around my motel room. It was going to happen. I was going to talk to Jeanne. I had two hours to kill. The wait was going to be unbearable. I'd already taken two walks, I couldn't tolerate another one and I knew that a walk wouldn't be an adequate distraction. Reading and watching television wouldn't work either. I tried playing solitaire on my computer. I immediately lost interest in the game. Finally, out of desperation I watched a Julia Ann movie on my computer. As I watched the movie I imagined that it was Jeanne and her latest date. While it did help pass the time it had an added benefit. I wanted Jeanne to know that I was trying hard to learn to accept and even enjoy her new lifestyle. Having a little sexual edge would help with that. The movie featured Julia Ann and a man in his mid to late twenties. They were playing on a couch in a living room. As I watched Julia Ann suck her costars cock I imagined sitting in our den watching a baseball game while Jeanne was in the living room with her date sucking his cock. I had to admit that the image excited me. At five minutes to four I turned off the movie. I didn't want to be distracted while I talked with Jeanne. After shutting my computer down I sat next to the telephone and waited. Four o'clock arrived. In the central time zone it was six o'clock. The telephone didn't ring. I continued to wait. The time dragged by. Fifteen minutes later Jeanne still hadn't called. I assumed that she'd been delayed by traffic. I continued to wait. At 6:30 I stood up and started pacing the room. I kept telling myself that Jeanne had most likely been delayed by traffic or her job. Occasionally at the end of a workday one of the attorneys would need to have several documents prepared. When that happened Jeanne had to stay until everything was finished. Still the icy fingers of doubt and fear began to insinuate their way into my thoughts. Was it possible that Jeanne's latest date had called at the last minute and invited her to stop for an after work cocktail? As I was considering the likelihood of that occurrence the telephone rang. It was 6:40. My fears and doubts vanished. Grinning, I answered the telephone. "Hello." "Michael?" "Jeanne?" "Yes, it's me." "It's me too." Jeanne giggled. "I guess we've figured out that it's us." I laughed. "Yeah, we'll be stars at the old peoples home." There was a moment of silence and then Jeanne said, "I hope we'll be there together." "I do too Jeanne." "Do you Michael? Even after all the stupid things I've done." "Yes Jeanne, I do. I'm glad you called." "Thank you for allowing me to call. I'm sorry I'm late. Carl Boyer needed a contract typed. It had to be done today." "I thought that was probably what happened. Don't worry, I understand." "Thank you." "Would you like to talk?" "Yes, very much." There was a brief pause and then Jeanne said. "Michael, I'm so sorry about the way I handled all of this. I really was stupid." "Jeanne during the course of our marriage we've both made mistakes." "That's true, but you've never made a mistake of the magnitude of the one I just made." "While I'll concede that it's been done and there's nothing we can do about it. I'm choosing to forget that it happened and try to move on." "Are you coming home?" "No Jeanne, I'm not." "Why not? In your email it sounded like you were actually encouraging me to continue dating. You said that it was okay for me to entertain men in our house. You offered to give me money to turn Tricia's room into a play room." "Yes that was exactly what I said and I am trying to accept what you're doing. I'm even trying to get to a point where I enjoy what you're doing, but I'm not there yet. I need more time." "I see." The disappointment in Jeanne's voice was evident. "Jeanne, I'm going to ask you to do something for me." "Yes, of course; anything, anything at all." "If we're eventually going to be able to work this out we have to be totally honest with each other. Can you do that?' "Of course I can." "You can't hold anything back." "Michael, where are you going with this?" Suddenly there was a tone of wariness in Jeanne's voice. "Promise me Jeanne." "Why Michael? What are you going to ask me?" "Anything and everything." "Why? I thought you forgave me." "I did. Now I'm trying to figure out a way for both of us to be happy." "We can be happy Michael. I'll stop dating. I've gotten it out of my system. I don't need to do it anymore. As soon as you come home I'll show you how much I love you." "It's not that easy Jeanne. When you started this you opened a box. Whether it's a Pandora's box filled with pain and recrimination or a gift box filled with joy and excitement remains to be seen. What I do know is now that you've opened the box we have to confront it." "No Michael, it will be just like it used to be only better. I've learned to love sex. I promise I'll make you the happiest man in the world." "I wish it was that easy, I really do; but it's not. Now it's a matter of trust. Every time you're late coming home from work, every time you go out with the girls, every time I have to go out of town for business I'll worry that you're meeting a man for sex." "No Michael, you can trust me." "Can I? Haven't you reveled in the freedom you've had during the past three months? You've dated a number of men and enjoyed them all. Won't that be hard to give up?" "Michael, I..." "No Jeanne, you don't have to tell me the answers. These questions are for you. Think about it, can I really trust you? That Saturday I caught you with Derek Fischer in our bed you told me that you weren't planning to have sex with him. You made the mistake of letting him kiss you and you melted." Jeanne sighed. I pressed. "Can you honestly promise me that it won't occur again? It might happen like this. You'll go out with the other secretaries in your building for a drink after work. You enjoy doing that. One of your old dates will be in the bar. It will be an accident. Neither of you knew the other one would be there. You liked him. You'll talk. You'll have an extra drink. You'll dance a couple of dances. After you're finished dancing you won't return to the table of secretaries, you'll go to a table of your own. After all he was a friend. You'll want to talk." Jeanne didn't attempt to refute what I was saying, she just listened. "He'll lead you to a secluded booth in a dark corner of the bar. When you sit down you'll sit on the same side of the booth. You'll cuddle up to him. You'll feel guilty, but he's a big man. His arms are so comfortable. You'll talk. You'll flirt. It will feel good to flirt again. He'll kiss you. You'll kiss him back. While you're kissing him he'll cup your breast. You'll know that you should stop him, but you won't want to stop him. Instead you'll let your hand brush across his erect penis." "Please Micheal, don't." "Jeanne I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to explain." I paused. After a moment I asked; "Can you promise me that a situation like that will never occur?" Jeanne whispered, "You know I can't" "So every time you go out without me I'll have to worry." "Michael what are we going to do? I love you. I want to be with you." "I want to be with you too Jeanne." "But you can't trust me." "Trust is only an issue if I'm asking you to do things you can't do." "I don't understand." "Maybe we can find a way for us to be together that allows you to continue dating other men." "Michael you're confusing me. In your email you suggested that you were maybe willing to accept my dating, but then you started talking about trust...Michael I'm so sorry I started all of this." "I'm not."