If I have it twisted....straighten me out!!!!

[Kaktuscpl]

First off,I apologize if I have things fucked off,,,I am extremely high right now....

 

Now here is my thoughts on this.I have never understood the "humiliation/degrading/DISRESPECT" aspect associated with hotwife/cuckold lifestyle

 

All this "Alpha male/ macho douche bag shit" ... I.E. "I'm here to fuck your wife,little man".   

Dude get it straight,,,you are here so SHE can fuck you....(if SHE wants to)and then go the fuck home...

 

This lifestyle,IMO,is about RESPECT...." I respect and love my wife enough,to step aside,and let someone else give her pleasure(again...only if she wants it)

I am not the baddest motherfucker to ever walk this planet,but I can hold my own...plus some...

And to INVITE someone to join you and your wife in the adventure of a lifetime....only to be mocked/ridiculed /DISRESPECTED......Hell No...

 

 

So tell me ..Am I wrong here or what 

 

Again sorry for this coming off as rant 

 

[Playtime Chicago]

100% agree there. Thanks

[secondjag]

10 minutes ago, Kaktuscpl said:

First off,I apologize if I have things fucked off,,,I am extremely high right now....

 

Now here is my thoughts on this.I have never understood the "humiliation/degrading/DISRESPECT" aspect associated with hotwife/cuckold lifestyle

 

All this "Alpha male/ macho douche bag shit" ... I.E. "I'm here to fuck your wife,little man".   

Dude get it straight,,,you are here so SHE can fuck you....(if SHE wants to)and then go the fuck home...

 

This lifestyle,IMO,is about RESPECT...." I respect and love my wife enough,to step aside,and let someone else give her pleasure(again...only if she wants it)

I am not the baddest motherfucker to ever walk this planet,but I can hold my own...plus some...

And to INVITE someone to join you and your wife in the adventure of a lifetime....only to be mocked/ridiculed /DISRESPECTED......Hell No...

 

 

So tell me ..Am I wrong here or what 

 

Again sorry for this coming off as rant 

 

makes perfect sense Kak.  but it takes all kinds.  i personally never understood people who get off being beaten.  but not important if i understand, i just try not to judge

[Kaktuscpl]

7 minutes ago, secondjag said:

, i just try not to judge

And that my friend......IS WHY YOU'RE AWESOME....thank you for that ...oh and for the amazing pics/videos

[Oldercuck2]

My thoughts exactly.... 

[Ausmarriedm]

we have never done the humiliation stuff,

. Love watching my wife fuck friends, also like to go seconds or 3rds. It is all about her getting off, so good seeing her have huge orgasms. Yes I take second place or sometimes no place at all. We can fuck other times.  She has even had BFs that are "secret" least they think I don't know. All part of an erotic extended sex life that has made our marriage work. I dislike the word slut, she is just a lady that likes sex, a lot,. She would never belittle me, if a guy gets a bit too dominant he is unlikely to get invited again. We never do pain or anal. But that is us, if others like to play a different way well that is their business. We won't get involved with that sort of stuff as we don't find it a turn on. Guys that get in my wifes panties (she doesn't wear any) are always respectful, funny, charming gentlemen.

[secondjag]

7 hours ago, Kaktuscpl said:

And that my friend......IS WHY YOU'RE AWESOME....thank you for that ...oh and for the amazing pics/videos

aww, i'm just a Kak fan

[Kaktuscpl]

 Thanks for letting me vent,and replying.Now that I've had time to calm down,and look at this with a clear head...

 

I understand that some people/cucks get off on humiliation(Do You)  as Jag said... "Not my place to judge...nor do I want/mean to"

I was wondering if there were a way to "hhhhhhhhh" ,but in a respectful way.... ??

 

Damn,this sounded better,and made more sense in my head......

 

 

[captainblack]

I have mostly had cuck couples where the male did not get off on humiliation.  Most of my cuck couples the woman was deeply submissive and the husband could not deliver on dominating in any aspect of the relationship.  So usually the woman is submissive and the male is vanilla in my past situations.

I had one situation where the male was also submissive, but he was not into humiliation.  Being submissive is not the same as wanting to be humiliated.

[robert smith]

I agree 100%.  We have had to send a few macho thugs out before even giving them a chance.

[allindp]

Such a much better time when two guys enjoy pleasing one woman equally, love it when I share and it is all about pleasure and not humiliation...but for some folks that is what gives them pleasure, we are all wired a little different...to each their own I always say!

[captainblack]

I had a deeply submissive wife last night.  Her husband is vanilla, limp, and disinterested.  Has not touched her in 8 years.  I expect no contact with him ever.

She on the other hand had a deep need to be dominated, commanded, controlled, and taken hard.  This is very much in line with several other wives I have had.

 

[Naughty Nicki]

So me.  

[Kaktuscpl]

14 hours ago, Naughty Nicki said:

So me.  

I fucking love you Nicki...you're awesome

[captainblack]

Flyboy fly her to NYC and I will be happy to double her pleasure.  I know of course that she is resistant, perhaps small steps will begin the journey.

[subsucko]

Spot on! Humiliation works when it's wanted. Bulls and those who want to be need to understand that they are a tool used in fulfulling the couples fantasy. It's a privilege not a right to be with our women. The only one that gets to hhhhhhhhh me is our long term! 

[PartyReadyCpl]

On 1/11/2020 at 4:27 PM, Kaktuscpl said:

First off,I apologize if I have things fucked off,,,I am extremely high right now....

 

Now here is my thoughts on this.I have never understood the "humiliation/degrading/DISRESPECT" aspect associated with hotwife/cuckold lifestyle

~~~~~..

And to INVITE someone to join you and your wife in the adventure of a lifetime....only to be mocked/ridiculed /DISRESPECTED......Hell No...

 

 

So tell me ..Am I wrong here or what 

 

Again sorry for this coming off as rant 

 

Not really wrong. I'm not at all into the humiliation aspect either but I see that some are. And my wife likes being talked dirty to and treated like a slut as long as it's all in fun, and I love seeing her have a good time.

 

My problem, and I think you share this with me, is guys just assuming you're looking for that when you haven't indicated you are indeed, looking for that type of scene.

A lot of that seems to stem from people having a limited experience or or limited view as to what hotwifing or cuckolding, wifesharing and related cultures actually are. Most people it seems, tend to define "whatever" by their first experience or exposure (introduction) to "it" and that is one thing that I think limits people's thinking and sometimes enjoyment as well as often causing people to reject all sorts of potential new experiences.

 

Also, men tending to assume things from a limited point of view speaks to one reason it's necessary to take extra care when screening if you're using classifieds  to find prospective partners.

We party with other couples as well as with men and since Wifey can be very sub at times if that has been raised I've found that a lot of guys, especially those who make a claim of being dominant seem almost to be woman haters as some of the things that come up in these communications are so extreme it often makes me want to slap a MF-er upside the head with something heavy and holler "WTF is wrong with you?".  The mainstream BDSM community has delt with this by pretty much codifying and enumerating in excruciatingly minute detail most fairly common practices you might expect to encounter in that arena in a way that if "it's" not covered directly a reasonable person should be able to understand at least the safety aspects as well as the social.... this is critical for situations where people are being put in suspension or bound in uncomfortable positions as the dangers aren't always as obvious as they should be when someone's doing something like breathplay where one's air supply can be cut off (not my cup of tea but no judgement from me, it exists).

Note that when you see a "contract" either mentioned or someone presents an outline for on online somewhere it's usually or at least often in a BDSM venue.

I've often heard mention of a "real" Dom or a true "whatever"... I'm going to avoid that can o' worms by getting out my very broad paintbrush to point out that no person with even half a brain is going to just start acting on assumptions based on only a few minutes of conversation unless it's been specifically covered and certainly not from a few sentences on an internet forum (again, unless...)

Wannabe bulls need to be careful of this and to be aware that someone being smaller doesn't mean that they can't hurt you, sometimes even without intending to.

I had that lesson reinforced when I was working for Uncle Sugar when a little short guy came in drunk one evening and I was chatting with the guy on Fire Guard. Sawed-off SOB was carrying on as was usual for him about being able to put anyone down. I was in very good shape and had at least 50 lbs on him and thought it would be fun and so I told him I'd give it a shot. In less than 15 seconds I was on my face with my arm up behind my back. I knew he had been a greco-roman wrestler in HS and had a bunch of trophies so it wasn't a surprise other than it happening so fast. He was a nice guy,  just had skills and liked to show off. I don't think he meant to hurt me but he had twisted my arm a little too far  which didn't bother me all that much at the time but I think probably contributed to my needing surgery on my shoulder about 20 years later.

 

Of course those that make certain assumptions won't have to worry about that sort of thing much because they most likely won't get to be there in the first place as they'll usually give themselves away during the first contact. often by being obvious that they've made those assumptions but possibly as much by ignoring what someone wrote in their ad or responding in a way that looks as if they didn't read it.

That could be because people tend to feel if someone doesn't respect or understand their wishes/requests in an ad it's likely they won't do that in person so they tend to pass those responses over and go on to the next one.

[secondjag]

1 hour ago, PartyReadyCpl said:

Not really wrong. I'm not at all into the humiliation aspect either but I see that some are. And my wife likes being talked dirty to and treated like a slut as long as it's all in fun, and I love seeing her have a good time.

 

My problem, and I think you share this with me, is guys just assuming you're looking for that when you haven't indicated you are indeed, looking for that type of scene.

A lot of that seems to stem from people having a limited experience or or limited view as to what hotwifing or cuckolding, wifesharing and related cultures actually are. Most people it seems, tend to define "whatever" by their first experience or exposure (introduction) to "it" and that is one thing that I think limits people's thinking and sometimes enjoyment as well as often causing people to reject all sorts of potential new experiences.

 

Also, men tending to assume things from a limited point of view speaks to one reason it's necessary to take extra care when screening if you're using classifieds  to find prospective partners.

We party with other couples as well as with men and since Wifey can be very sub at times if that has been raised I've found that a lot of guys, especially those who make a claim of being dominant seem almost to be woman haters as some of the things that come up in these communications are so extreme it often makes me want to slap a MF-er upside the head with something heavy and holler "WTF is wrong with you?".  The mainstream BDSM community has delt with this by pretty much codifying and enumerating in excruciatingly minute detail most fairly common practices you might expect to encounter in that arena in a way that if "it's" not covered directly a reasonable person should be able to understand at least the safety aspects as well as the social.... this is critical for situations where people are being put in suspension or bound in uncomfortable positions as the dangers aren't always as obvious as they should be when someone's doing something like breathplay where one's air supply can be cut off (not my cup of tea but no judgement from me, it exists).

Note that when you see a "contract" either mentioned or someone presents an outline for on online somewhere it's usually or at least often in a BDSM venue.

I've often heard mention of a "real" Dom or a true "whatever"... I'm going to avoid that can o' worms by getting out my very broad paintbrush to point out that no person with even half a brain is going to just start acting on assumptions based on only a few minutes of conversation unless it's been specifically covered and certainly not from a few sentences on an internet forum (again, unless...)

Wannabe bulls need to be careful of this and to be aware that someone being smaller doesn't mean that they can't hurt you, sometimes even without intending to.

I had that lesson reinforced when I was working for Uncle Sugar when a little short guy came in drunk one evening and I was chatting with the guy on Fire Guard. Sawed-off SOB was carrying on as was usual for him about being able to put anyone down. I was in very good shape and had at least 50 lbs on him and thought it would be fun and so I told him I'd give it a shot. In less than 15 seconds I was on my face with my arm up behind my back. I knew he had been a greco-roman wrestler in HS and had a bunch of trophies so it wasn't a surprise other than it happening so fast. He was a nice guy,  just had skills and liked to show off. I don't think he meant to hurt me but he had twisted my arm a little too far  which didn't bother me all that much at the time but I think probably contributed to my needing surgery on my shoulder about 20 years later.

 

Of course those that make certain assumptions won't have to worry about that sort of thing much because they most likely won't get to be there in the first place as they'll usually give themselves away during the first contact. often by being obvious that they've made those assumptions but possibly as much by ignoring what someone wrote in their ad or responding in a way that looks as if they didn't read it.

That could be because people tend to feel if someone doesn't respect or understand their wishes/requests in an ad it's likely they won't do that in person so they tend to pass those responses over and go on to the next one.

So well put and written PartyR.  As in all things, dangerous to assume anything.  I will add however, it cuts both ways.  So many assumptions are made about bulls, most of which are less than reasonable.  Asking me to father your future children after knowing me twenty min is probably stupid. Assuming (yet again) I am just a mindless dildo attached to a body guarantees my lack of interest.  I'm sure you see what I mean.

[PartyReadyCpl]

4 hours ago, secondjag said:

So well put and written PartyR.  As in all things, dangerous to assume anything.  I will add however, it cuts both ways.  So many assumptions are made about bulls, most of which are less than reasonable.  Asking me to father your future children after knowing me twenty min is probably stupid. Assuming (yet again) I am just a mindless dildo attached to a body guarantees my lack of interest.  I'm sure you see what I mean.

Yes indeed, my friend. You never really know until you discuss... sometimes not even then, LOL Really it's true in everyday life. I've certainly made mistakes there.

Directly regarding the OP's post... I usually try to ignore someone when they make those assumptions.This place is more friendly than some others so don't know if I would see it here, but on other similar sites when it happens in open forum you'll often see other member call the person out, but also explaining why.

 

Haven't really thought about it much but I wonder why this particular site seems friendlier....I don't see a lot of mod activity, in that it doesn't seem like there's a need so you can't really say it's from heavy-handed enforcement.

[2miklspacer]

The parameters are already set by the couple after most likely much discussion. So effectively a bull is already entering into a set plan, and hence becomes a pawn in the couple's hotwife /cuckold play. So remember bulls you are there at the invitation and good graces of the people involved. Play your part well.

[secondjag]

7 hours ago, 2miklspacer said:

The parameters are already set by the couple after most likely much discussion. So effectively a bull is already entering into a set plan, and hence becomes a pawn in the couple's hotwife /cuckold play. So remember bulls you are there at the invitation and good graces of the people involved. Play your part well.

while i understand what you are saying, i do take umbrage at being called a "pawn."  again, another assumption of the "mindless" bull

[2miklspacer]

1 hour ago, secondjag said:

while i understand what you are saying, i do take umbrage at being called a "pawn."  again, another assumption of the "mindless" bull

There was no disrespect meant. When I have been invited to join a couple, their rules were made clear from the start. What lines not to cross, how far to take the scenario, tips (mostly from the males) as to what can enhance the experience for them. We are playing a game and the guidelines are already set by them before an item of clothes is shed. Hence the use of the word pawn. If we don't follow the rules or even live up to their expectations... checkmate!

[PartyReadyCpl]

4 hours ago, secondjag said:

while i understand what you are saying, i do take umbrage at being called a "pawn."  again, another assumption of the "mindless" bull

I get where you're coming from and not to consider your point is to fail to realize that if everyone to be involved doesn't have at least somewhat of an overlapping vision they won't be as "invested" in the total experience and that means there will be a LOT of unrealized potential "what might/should/could have been, but wasn't.....

Believe it or not, I thought I had more , I really did but I've tried literally 2 or 3 hours, written and rewritten several paragraphs so I just cant find the words. (I'm serious)  So I can't very well fault 2miklespacer in his choice of words even though the symbolism directly illustrates your concerns.

We're stuck with a lot of unfortunate nomenclature and despite  attempts to fix things I don't see a way out for quite a while.

I'd look much more intelligent if I had simply deleted this post but I'm going to let it stay so that some future archaeologist can get a good laugh at my expense ...because .... I've got noting

 

 

[secondjag]

4 hours ago, PartyReadyCpl said:

I get where you're coming from and not to consider your point is to fail to realize that if everyone to be involved doesn't have at least somewhat of an overlapping vision they won't be as "invested" in the total experience and that means there will be a LOT of unrealized potential "what might/should/could have been, but wasn't.....

Believe it or not, I thought I had more , I really did but I've tried literally 2 or 3 hours, written and rewritten several paragraphs so I just cant find the words. (I'm serious)  So I can't very well fault 2miklespacer in his choice of words even though the symbolism directly illustrates your concerns.

We're stuck with a lot of unfortunate nomenclature and despite  attempts to fix things I don't see a way out for quite a while.

I'd look much more intelligent if I had simply deleted this post but I'm going to let it stay so that some future archaeologist can get a good laugh at my expense ...because .... I've got noting

 

 

PartyR, nobody is ever going to mistake you for challenged intellectually, much as your self deprecating tone might suggest.

The recurring theme in so many of these strings is something Wild Thing has said so many times.  Kak too.  And you.  HONEST TALK FIRST IS KEY