Jump to content
CuckoldFart.com

secondjag

CuckoldPlace.COM Premium
  • Posts

    14813
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    833

Everything posted by secondjag

  1. Think good thoughts. Do good deeds. (18 vids) 1 black cock.mp4 BJ - XXX 12 MATARRANYA (AH) (3).mp4 ZF5076.mp4 VID-20231214-WA0006.mp4 VID-20231214-WA0003.mp4 deepthroatimg huge black cock..mp4 GG60J.mp4 BJ.mp4 THC How to Put on a cock 51.mp4 FUCKING WITH LOVER AND MAKING VIDEO CALLS TO HUSBAND.mp4 Desire to be fulfilled.mp4 Creampie-1 bbc7 (3).mp4 got what he wanted.mp4 busting_huge_nut_on_my_best_friend.mp4 SELF - Chubby orgasm - .4 MIN.mp4 cum-inside-the-corninho-don't-care-.mp4 SELF - BBW - Masturbating on my balcony part 1 - .3 MIN.mp4 The importance of the husband being around.mp4
  2. Gonna pull some just for you Dober. Insightful as always Gunner Going to pull some more just for you Dirty
  3. Going to disagree with you Peter. First off, once you experience being present you may well insist that be a condition of the deal. Ok, 'nuff said about that as I don't believe you'd take my advice anyway. Next, Becky would absolutely let you be there if it just "happened" as I suggested earlier. Don't want to be rude or harsh but makes me wonder; do you really want this to happen?? I only ask as it seems so many missed opportunities. And, look, if the game is the real end game, that's ok too. My friend it's all good.
  4. secondjag

    Umm

    A newly-married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. "Do you have reservations?" inquires the receptionist. "Only one," replies the groom. "She won't take it up the ass." A Polish girl went to the gynecologist. She disrobed and got up into the stirrups. The doctor was so shocked at the neglectful state of her vagina he asked, "When was the last time you had a check-up?" "Well, to be honest with you," she blushed, "I've never had a Czech up there, but I have had several Hungarians." A popular newspaper was carrying out a survey on sexual habits. One questioner stopped an elderly Italian gentleman in the street who was wearing a black suit and asked him how often he had sexual intercourse. "Oh, about half a dozen times a year", said the gentleman. The questioner smiled. "I thought you Italians were supposed to be sexy!" she said. "We are," said the gentleman. "But, I don't think half a dozen times a year is so bad for a seventy-two year old priest with no car." In school one day the teacher decided in science class she would teach about raw materials. So, she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?" Little Richie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher nodded and called on little Susie Marie. Little Susie said "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone." The teacher said, "Why Johnny?" He responded by saying, "because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!" A guy meets this girl in a bar and asks, “May I buy you a drink?” Looking unimpressed at the man she replies, “Okay, but it won't do you any good.” A little later, he asks, “May I buy you another drink?” He invites her up to his apartment and she replies, “Okay, but it won't do you any good.” They get to his apartment and he says, “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want you for my wife.” She says, “Oh, that's different. Send her in.” When a horse-playing golfer named Trey Goosed a girl in the rough one fine day He found her, though willing, Just barely fulfilling.... "I would rate her," said Trey, "a par lay." When a corpulent spinster named Snow Was approached by a dwarf for a blow, She replied, "I have pride! Your request is denied! I could never, sir, stoop quite that low!" A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, You can be the MAN of Your House. He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?' The wife replied, "The funeral director" would be my first guess.'
  5. All of it Gunner, fantastic! And yes, the faces she makes speaks volumes. You are most welcome my friend. Glad u dug it
  6. Thanks Gunner, lots of wedding rings as well
  7. secondjag

    Umm

    A New Zealander moved to Sydney Australia to play football. When he arrived, was told to go and see the coach. "Now listen," said the coach, "This isn't some minor league Kiwi team. Do you think you're good enough to play football for us?" "Shit, yeah!" replied the Kiwi. "We'll see" said the coach. "We'll give you a run in the first half and pull you off at half time." "Shit, that's different." Said the Kiwi. "We only get oranges at half time in New Zealand!" There was a young lady named Gray, Who was asked to make love in the hay. She jumped at the chance And took off her pants, She was tickled to try it that way! There was a young gypsy girl, Rose, With obsessions for a gentleman’s hose. Up her pussy, her rear, In her mouth and each ear And her cute little freckle-tipped nose. A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her habit to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory." MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job or you might miss a great opportunity! David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better than Sex 10 ... A below par performance is considered damn good. # 9 ... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers. # 8 ... It's much easier to find the sweet spot. # 7 ... Foursomes are encouraged. # 6 ... You can still make money doing it as a senior. # 5 .. Three times a day is possible. # 4 ... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else. # 3 ... If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day. # 2 .. You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished. And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex... # 1 ... When your equipment gets old you can replace it! John & Marsha were having marital difficulties, neither being able to satisfy the other sexually. One day Marsha visited her friend Dorothy, who was quite a woman of the world, and casually mentioned the problem. "It's not the first time I've heard of it," said Dorothy. "You can go to all the doctors in the world and they can't help you. But there is a remedy." For God's sake, Dorothy, tell me what it is!" exclaimed Marsha. She said, "Well, since you insist, and against my better judgment, I will tell you. The only remedy is for John to eat it." "Oh, no!" exclaimed Marsha, "He would never do that!" Dorothy shrugged. "There you have it -- take it or leave it. You asked and I told you." Driving home, Marsha prepared an unusually fine supper for John that night. When he returned from work. he enjoyed it mightily, but wondered a bit about the reason for it. "That was a great meal," he said. "Anything unusual happen today? Enjoy your visit with Dorothy?" Marsha told John of Dorothy's suggestion. "Absolutely not!" he exploded. "I won't engage in such disgusting practices." But Marsha urged and begged until finally John gave in. "OK," he said. "I guess it won't hurt to try it once." Marsha went up and got into bed, pulling the covers up to her neck. When John arrived he surveyed the scene and tried to decide how to proceed. Finally he raised the covers at the foot of the bed and crawled under them. Groping around until he located his target, with much hesitation, he undertook his task. No sooner than he started, Marsha broke wind explosively. Under the covers, a muffled voice was heard to say.... "Thank God for that breath of fresh air."
  8. What we have here is a failure to communicate. ( 26 vids) SORRY FOR ANY DOUBLE POSTS. Ebony_HotWife_blows_White_Dick.mp4 FAC - Me busting huge nut on my best friend - .5 MIN (1).mp4 1 girl ebony3.mp4 1 pussy licking2.mp4 BBW - IN SCRUBS - .2 MIN.mp4 VID-20231129-WA0018.mp4 Little wife in the erotic booth.mp4 FAC - Me busting huge nut on my best friend - .5 MIN.mp4 IR - LUSAFUMU_II (15).MP4 blonde_ir_outdoors_dogging_bbc13.mp4 BJ -VID-20231023-WA8443.mp4 Creampie-1 bbc7 (2).mp4 YZ005.mp4 GH - Gf takes a load from a stranger on her tits - .4 MIN.mp4 BJ - VID-20231124-WA0021.mp4 1 blacked11.mp4 IR - REV - BJ - She Loves to Taste Cum - .6 MIN.mp4 ZF5050.mp4 10.mp4 matbj123.mp4 two123.mp4 pnding123.mp4 ebfuin123e.mp4 Blonde_ir_triple_gangbang.mp4 dbl123.mp4 Drilled By BBC.mp4
  9. secondjag

    Umm

    A man walked in to his local butcher to find his regular butcher, John, absent. So, he asks the manager, "Where's John?" The manager tells the man that John was fired because he was found sticking his dick in the meat slicer" Then the man asked, "Where is the meat slicer now?" The butcher then replied, "I fired her, too." A man walks into a brothel and approaches a beautiful Oriental courtesan. "Is it true, that Asian women's vaginas are slit sideways?" he asks. "Why?" she responds. "Are you a harmonica player?" There once was a poor man named Crocket Whose balls got caught in a socket. His wife was a bitch, So she cranked on the switch, And Crocket took off like a rocket! A man was getting concerned that his 3 daughters might not be as innocent as he wished. What did they already know about sex? He decided to find out. So he brought his 16-year-old into the bathroom, dropped his pants, and said "Do you know what this is?" "Yes, daddy, that's a penis". The man exploded! He couldn't believe it! "You're grounded for a year", he exclaimed, "and you're going to read the Bible every day!" He then brought his 14-year-old into the bathroom, and dropped his pants. "Do you know what this is?" "Yes, daddy, it's a penis" Unbelievable! He grounded her for 2 years, and took away her allowance forever. Finally, he brought his 12-year-old into the bathroom, dropped his pants, and asked "Do you know what this is?" "No, daddy, I don't." "What a good girl! I'm very proud of you! I'm going to raise your allowance! Anyway, this is called a penis." The girl laughed and said, "You call THAT a penis?!?"
  10. Peter. Buddy. This is your moment, and you can fake plausible innocence if it doesn't go your way. Take her out for a light dinner then back to your place. Get a couple of glasses of wine in her. Have the young dude stop by as a surprise you put together for her to actually meet her "friend." If all goes well you get everything you wanted. If it doesn't, you claim you were just trying to do something nice for her by letting her actually meet her friend. lol, maybe give the kid money to bring flowers. Jesus Gunner, over the fuckin top. The story and the pics; awesome!
  11. secondjag

    Umm

    One day at lunch several guys were engaged in a little friendly bragging about their sexual prowess and the dimensions of their members. First one, then the next, would add his own exaggerations until the whole thing became quite ridiculous. Then Bill said matter of factly "mine's about four inches." There was stunned silence before one of the guys said, "Bill, you're kidding right?" "Not at all, four inches," he said, with perfect sincerity. "You know, some women like it." We all sat in embarrassed silence until Bill continued, "Of course, others complain it's just too wide." Mike picked up an attractive woman, named Linda, who flagged down his car in a seedy part of town. As they rode, he asked her what she did for a living. Linda winked at Mike and said, "I'm a magician." "No way," Mike scoffed. 'Prove it." So, Linda touched him on the thigh, and, "Poof," Mike turned into a hotel. "Don't open that wardrobe!" shouted my wife as I was just about to, "Your Christmas present is in there!" "Too late," I said, pulling open the door. "You get me the shittiest presents!" I said, looking in. "Why the hell would I want a half-naked milkman?" There once was a man named Eugene Who invented a screwing machine Concave and convex. It served either sex, And it played with itself in between. There once was a man named Brewster, Who said to his wife as he goosed her, “That used to be grand, But just look at my hand, You’re not wiping as good as you used to!” A monkey is walking through the jungle when he comes across an elephant. "Hello, Mr. Elephant", he says, "what a fine day it is. Would you like to see my cock?" Slightly startled the elephant says, "Good morning Mr Monkey. Why on earth would I want to see your genitalia?" "Oh, it's absolutely amazing", came the reply, "you won't regret this" and with that the monkey whips out his member which, as promised, amazed the elephant. There were FOUR tips to this particular monkey's monkeyhood. "My word!" said the elephant, "aren't you the lucky one". The monkey continued his jaunt through the jungle when he happens upon a giraffe. "Hello up there Mr Giraffe. Let me show you my cock!" Spluttering out the leaf he was munching the giraffe protests but he is equally as stunned as the elephant when he sees the monkeys' four headed knob. "Incredible!" he states. And off trots the monkey until he encounters a jaguar asleep under a tree. "Mr. Jaguar! Mr. Jaguar! Look at my extraordinary penis!" Stirring from his sleep the jaguar wakes to find the mutant cock before his eyes, which he promptly bites off. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH", screams the monkey, "What did you do that for?" "Because I'm a four-point tool eater Jaguar" NOW PETER YOU KNOW I LIKED THAT LAST ONE!! SJ ~~~~~~~~ Poetry Contest The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu." First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said: Slowly across the desert sand Trekked a lonely caravan; Men on camels, two by two Destination Timbuktu. The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited: Me and Tim a huntin' went. Met three whores in a pop-up tent. They was three, and we was two, So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
  12. secondjag

    Umm

    There was a young lady, Miss Hall, Wore a newspaper dress to a ball. The dress caught fire, And burned her entire Front page, sports section, and all. There was a young lady named Gray, Who was asked to make love in the hay. She jumped at the chance And took off her pants, She was tickled to try it that way! A man, new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best-looking girl in the place, he retires to a large and well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life. Satiated, the man asks the madam, "How much do I owe you?" The madam motions for him to put away his money. She then pulls two hundred dollars out of a purse and gives it to him. She fends off all his attempts for an explanation. Naturally, the man returns the following evening. He gets the same treatment, and is again given two hundred dollars. The third night he does the same thing, but when he sees the madam, she asks him for three hundred dollars. "Wait a minute," he says. "The first night you gave me two hundred dollars. The second night you gave two hundred dollars. Now you want me to pay you three hundred? Why?" The madam smiles and says, "Tonight you weren't being filmed." I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department, where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
  13. secondjag

    Umm

    A man was sitting at a bar, morosely staring at his untouched beer. The bartender walked over with a sigh, and asked "What's the problem, pal?" "My brother just told me that there's a sperm bank in his neighborhood that pays $40 for a donation." "Yeah, so?" "Don't you realize?" the man cried. "I've let a fortune slip through my fingers!" Mr. Hands was called in for an audit, and a surly Inland Revenue officer confronted him. "It says here that you're a bachelor -- yet you have claimed a dependent son. Surely this must be a mistake." Mr. Hands looked him straight in the eye and said, "Yep, it surely was." A man walks into a department store, and as he does, a perfume girl asks him to try some perfume. The man tries some and says, "Hey, that's not too bad, what's it called?" The perfume lady says, "Come to Me" The man smells it again and says, "Yeah? Well, it doesn't smell like cum to me." A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again, he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went into the club house where he saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help. I understand that you are a sales lady .... well, I am in sales also. What do you sell?" She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh." "No I wouldn't," he said and persisted that she tell him what she sold. "Well if you must know", she answered, "I sell Tampax." With that, he fell on the floor and laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She said, "See I knew you would laugh." "That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you!"
  14. Kicked the garbage can; look what came out. Shut up, beats kicking the bucket. (16 vids) IR - REV - BJ - She Loves to Taste Cum - .6 MIN.mp4 1 blacked11.mp4 BJ - VID-20231124-WA0021.mp4 GH - Gf takes a load from a stranger on her tits - .4 MIN.mp4 YZ005.mp4 ZF5050.mp4 Dildo.mp4 10.mp4 matbj123.mp4 two123.mp4 pnding123.mp4 ebfuin123e.mp4 Blonde_ir_triple_gangbang.mp4 dbl123.mp4 Drilled By BBC.mp4 j4yssHQ5Qy-FWDKE.mp4
  15. secondjag

    Umm

    A young man, with a promising career ahead of him, decided to marry a respectable convent girl, untarnished with the sins of contemporary society. After the wedding service, the bridal couple had to drive through the more unsavory areas of the city on the way to the reception. "William, what are those women doing leaning against lampposts?" "Oh, those are just tarts who hire their bodies out for sex at fifty dollars a time." "Wow, fifty dollars!" exclaimed the bride. "The monks only used to give us an apple." There once was a woman named Jess – Bisexual, she'd readily confess. She loved a good dick, But pussy she'd lick, And leave both a wet gooey mess. A man is traveling through the desert when he comes upon an Indian lying on the ground stark naked with a hard-on sticking straight up in the air. He asks the Indian what he is doing, to which the Indian replies, "I am telling the time." The man tells the Indian that he does not believe it, so the Indian tells him that it is 1:00. The man looks at his watch and is amazed to find that it is exactly 1:00. He travels a bit longer until he comes upon another naked Indian lying on the ground with a hard-on sticking straight up. He asks this Indian what he is doing and he too replies that he is telling the time. He tells the Indian to prove it and the Indian tells him that it is 2:00. The man looks at his watch and once again is amazed that the time is correct. He continues his trek through the desert until he comes across an Indian lying naked in the sand, masturbating. He asks this Indian, "And what the hell are you doing?" The Indian replied, "I am winding my watch!" Three women were returning to their Hungarian village when they spotted a man, obviously very inebriated, walking ahead of them. As they watched him stumbling, he fell face down into a mud puddle. When they walked up to him, one woman turned him over to see if she recognized him. However, his face was so covered with mud that she bent over and unzipped his pants. She remarked, "Well, he's not my husband." The second woman peering over her shoulder agreed, "Your right, he's not your husband." The third woman, somewhat older than the other two, bent over to look and said, "He's not even from our village." A man named Butt walks into a grocery store where he sees one of his closest friends, Bob. Bob approaches him with a sincere smile and greets Butt. After a good conversation between the two men, Bob looks at Butt with affection and says: "Listen Butt, you're my best friend. I respect you a lot and would never do anything to hurt you, but I've got to let this off my chest. I think you deserve much better than Lola. I'm telling you this as a friend. Your wife is not exactly a conservative woman!" Butt looks at Bob in bafflement and replies: "What do you mean?" Bob looks him straight in the eyes and whispers in his ear: "Look around! Why do you think there are almost no men in this grocery store? As a true friend, I feel obliged to tell you this. Every time you go grocery shopping, there is a very long line-up at your front door!" Butt, confused and puzzled asks, "What are you trying to say?" Bob looks at him in sorrow and replies: "I hate to break this to you my dear friend, but your wife is a money hungry whore! Divorce her!" Butt, startled by Bob's rude comment replies in a fury: "What kind of a friend are you? You must think I'm an Idiot? You want me to divorce her, so I'll have to wait in line too?"
×
×
  • Create New...