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Everything posted by secondjag
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A man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my ass." The doctors says, "drop your pants, bend over and let's have a look". "Fuck me!!" says the doctor. "What could have made a hole as big as that?" Patient replies "I've been fucked by an elephant." The doctor says "An elephant's penis is long and thin. This hole is enormous." Patient replies "He fingered me first." There was a young lady named May, Took a stroll in the park by the bay. She met a young man, Who fucked her and ran. Now she goes to the park every day. A man goes to the Doctor in desire of a prescription for Viagra. Doctor looks over the man, and says, "Viagra can be very dangerous and we do not just dispense it indiscriminately, please bring your wife to my office next week and we'll discuss this in more detail. So the next week the man shows up with his wife, the Doctor asks to see the wife by herself for a few moments and she follows him back to the examining room. The doctor asks her to disrobe and she does. He then asks her to turn around in 360° a few times then instructs her to get up on the examining table and to turn in various positions. He then tells her she can get dressed and goes out to meet the Male Patient. "Sir", The Doctor Says, "There is nothing wrong with you, I couldn't get an erection either!" A man goes to the famous Lucas Carton restaurant in Paris with his girlfriend and orders the 1928 Mouton. The waiter returns with a bottle full of wine, pours a small amount in the glass for tasting. The customer picks up the glass, smells the wine, and puts it down on the table with a thud. "This is not the 1928 Mouton." The waiter assures him it is, and soon there are another twenty people surrounding the table, including the chef and the manager trying to convince the man that the wine is the 1928 Mouton. Finally someone asks him how he knows that it is not the 1928 Mouton. "My name is Phillipe de Rothschild, and I make the wine." Finally, the original waiter steps forward and admits that he poured the Clerc Milon 1928. "I could not bear to part with our last bottle of 1928 Mouton. You know Clerc Milon, it is in the same village as Mouton, you pick the grapes at the same time, the same cepage, you crush in the same way, you put them into similar barrels. You bottle at the same time, you even use eggs from the same chickens to fine them. The wines are the same, except for a small matter of geographic location." Rothschild beckons the waiter forward, and whispers to him, "When you return home tonight, ask your girlfriend to remove her underwear. Put one finger in one opening, another finger in the other, then smell both the fingers. You will understand what difference a small distance in geographic location makes."
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That's pretty interesting Peter. You never shared that story before that I remember. Also interesting that I don't think visiting women to mens prisons in the U.S. are allowed to dress like that. They have a strict dress code for them. I can imagine shy little Becky feeling all those eyes on her, perhaps seeing an erection or two in the shape of tented pants. Going home and unable to think of anything else as she touched herself.
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Eight-year-old Johnny came home from school one day. At the supper table he announced to his mother and father that tomorrow in school they were going to learn about sex education. The next evening at the dinner table Johnny's mother asked, "Well Johnny, what did you learn about sex education today?" Johnny said, "I think the teacher said we should avoid inter-sections and buy condominiums." It was the first day of the school year and the shop teacher was surprised to see a rather "princess-like" young lady sitting in the front row of the classroom. Her name was Judy, and she was the only girl to sign up for the woodworking shop class that term. The shop teacher asked her if she was sure she was in the right class, and Judy assured him that she was. The teacher then said, "This course may be a bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?" "What exactly do you mean?" replied Judy. "Well, what's the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the shop teacher asked. Judy pondered the question for a moment, then replied, "Well, I can't rightly say as I know, 'cause I ain't never been 'bolted'."
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A little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on, so he called her down and gave her two dollars to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy that she ran home and told her mother about it. The next day, when the priest was taking his daily walk, he looked up the same tree and saw the young girl's mother up there. She had no panties on, either. He called her down and gave her two dollars to buy a razor! There once was a young man from Nairs Who liked to have sex on the stairs. With one powerful stroke, The banister broke. And he finished her off in mid-air. There once was a young holy roller, Had a boyfriend attempt to console her. She'd gone down on his cock, That was hard as a rock... Chipped a tooth, plus she knocked out a molar. A man and his wife were talking and he says, "You know, I was thinking of going down to the bar tonight and entering that big-dick contest." "Oh honey," she exclaims, "I don't want you taking that out in public!" "But sweet thing," he says, "the prize is $100!" "I don't care," she says, "I don't want you showing that thing to everybody." So he lets the subject drop until the following night when his wife walks in on him in the bedroom, counting out a hundred dollars. "Did you go down and enter that big-dick contest last night after I told you not to?" "Please forgive me, sweetheart," he says. "You mean you took that thing out for everybody to see?" she says, tears welling up in her eyes. The man looks at her fondly and says, "Only enough to win." I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and we'd decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing was my fiancée’s younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years old, wore tight miniskirts, and low-cut blouses. She would regularly bend down near me and I enjoyed many pleasant views of her underwear. It had to be deliberate... I didn't notice her doing this near anyone else. One day the sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived and whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me, just before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door, stepped out of the house, and began walking directly toward my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our . Welcome to our family!" So, the moral of the story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
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There was a young lady named Mable Who liked to sprawl out on the table, Then cry to her man, 'Stuff in all you can - Get your ballocks in, too, if you're able.' There was a young lady named Mandel Who caused quite a neighborhood scandal By coming out bare On the main village square And massaging herself with a candle. One day, two deputies in the Sheriff's Office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death. When they went to the living room, they found the body of a man with a gun at his side. "No doubt about it," one deputy said to the other. "This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself." "You're right," the other deputy replied. "Double murder and suicide. But I'll bet you when the sheriff gets here, he's going to say 'it could have been worse'." "No way. How could it be worse? There are three people in the house, and all of them have been shot to death. It couldn't be worse. You're on." About that time, the old sheriff arrived at the scene. He walked into the bedroom and saw the two nude bodies. He then walked into the living room and saw t! he man on the floor with the gun by his side. "No doubt about it," the sheriff said, shaking his head. "It was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself." After hesitating for a moment, the old sheriff looked his deputies squarely in the eyes. "But, you know," he said, "it could have been worse." The deputy who had lost the bet jumped up and shouted, "Sheriff, how could it have been worse? There are three people in this farmhouse, and all three of them are dead. It couldn't have been worse??" "Yes it could," the sheriff retorted. "You see that guy there on the floor? If he had come home yesterday, that would be me in there in that bed!"
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I continue to believe you are farther along than you think Peter. But, as always, I'm hoping it happens for you. Tryin to get a little something in here for everybody's passion
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Encore Buddy. Great post
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A Jewish boy came home from college and sat down to have a heart-to-heart talk with his doting mother. "I've got some good news and some bad news," he said. "The bad news is that I'm a homosexual." "Oh, no!" his mother exclaimed. "Before you faint," the son continued, "the good news is I'm in love with a doctor." There once was a young man named Eugene Who invented a screwing machine. Concave and convex, It served either sex. And it played with itself in between. There once was a young man named Dave Who kept a dead whore in a cave. He said, "What the hell, You get used to the smell, But think of the money I save!" A kitty and a rooster held a race. They reached a stream. The cat said to the rooster, "I'm not jumping that -- you KNOW cats hate getting wet!" The rooster replied, "Don't be a chicken -- just back up and take a flying leap!" The cat tried, and landed in the middle of the stream. The rooster smiled contentedly. "What's so bloody funny?" asked the cat. The rooster answered, "Well, NOTHING pleases a cock more'n seeing a wet pussy!!" A little girl accidentally walks in on her father while he's getting dressed. She points to his dick and says, "Daddy, what's that?" Not wanting to explain to her yet, he says, "Uh, I can't tell you, it's a secret." The little girl finds her mother and asks, "What is that long thing between Daddy's legs?" Her mother also doesn't want to explain sex yet, so she says, "I don't know, he won't tell me." A couple days later the little girl says to her mother. "Mommy, I finally figured out what that thing between Daddy's legs is. It's a toothbrush! " "Why do you think that?" the amused mother asks. "Because," the little girl says, "this morning I saw the maid sliding it in and out of her mouth and she had toothpaste dripping down her chin."
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for sure Buddy but I figure if someone started just now jerking off to the string from the beginning, it would take them at least a couple of months to catch up
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175 pages! jesus, fuck, that's a lot of pics!!
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Still in a turkey coma. ( 9 vids) grpfun1126.mp4 ncfac1126.mp4 deep1126.mp4 mtblwo1126 (1).mp4 mtblwo1126 (2).mp4 mrnbl1126.mp4 Amateur_wife_blows_monster_bbc (1).mp4 BBWs.mp4 1 blacked.2.mp4
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Two good old boys, Bubba and Junior have been promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior, there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have a drank." "But we's privates," protests Junior. "We's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside. "Now, Junior, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drank." "But, we's privates," says Junior. "You blind, boy?" asks Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now." So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you some place and make you feel good but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea." Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign." Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay sign. Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Junior," he says, "What you give me the okay for?" "Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the privates." Then he pointed to his stripes and says, "But we's Sergeants now!
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hey buddy, yeah, ya gotta love the ring shots. i think the best ones have the wife, the stud, and the cuckold in the pic
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