athlete951

I do think that those of us in the lifestyle should play some role in "normalizing" the it. Part of that is doing my best with couples to help them understand that they are not alone in these desires. For the wives that is usually understanding that there are many wives like them who absolutely love their husbands, but are not sexually satisfied by them. For the husbands it is understanding that many men struggle to please their wives and that they can gain pleasure by helping their wives find the pleasure they need and deserve. It's about de-stigmatizing those issues. Another part is that when I tell others that I date couples, I am letting broader society know that normal, well adjusted people do things like this and enjoy it. That there is nothing wrong with the people in the lifestyle. Maybe that encourages them to explore, but maybe at a minimum it helps them be less judgmental about those of us who do this.

Mt872, great post. Definitely a good conversation starter. I always believe that safety is the number one concern in the lifestyle, but discretion is pretty close behind. As the "third wheel" I believe I have a strong responsibility for ensuring that my couple's lifestyle remains as much of a secret as they want it to be. That involves not telling people in my life details about them, sharing pictures, etc. If and when they choose to become more open, I will as well, but again it is always their prerogative. Things are different as a bull. There is less stigma attached to being in the lifestyle as a bull, so I have been relatively more free to be open about what I do. While I don't share details about my experiences and relationships (without my couple's permission), I have been open that this is something I do and enjoy. Most people are surprised at first, but are generally supportive that I am happy. It definitely sparks a little curiosity as well. One other aspect is that I am not ashamed about the lifestyle. I do not see what I do with couples as a bad thing. If anything I feel like I am doing something good for them and their relationship. I'm proud of that and if others can't see it that way, that is their problem, not mine.

Congrats, Guys. Glad you're having fun. Steve, that was a big step for you and although it sounds like you were a bit nervous, I hope you enjoyed the experience. I've had my cucks describe cleaning as an almost overwhelming mix of sights, smells, tastes, and emotions, especially at first. I always try to make that first time as comfortable of an experience for them as possible. Before hand I try to help them understand that the vast majority of the time any reluctance on their part has more to do with the taboo than a lack of interest. I explain that who cares what is/is not taboo, we should instead focus on what feels right and enjoyable to us. That's what really matters. I think if you continue to explore this, you will find that you quickly get past any nervousness. I think the act will make you feel a deeper bond with L and her lover(s) than you have experienced yet. You'll also find that L will never appreciate your tongue more than she does at the end of a long session with a large man. Each lick will send waves through her.

Hey L, Great thread. Understanding the physiological aspects of the lifestyle have always been part of the fascination for me. What motivates the couples as a collective and as individuals. Same goes for bulls. It may be my personal training background, but I've never seen or used the term "training" as a negative. When I "train" a couple, I'm not forcing them to do anything, which is the same physical fitness training, where I am not forcing a client to do anything. Instead I am using my experience to help provide options and guidance in a safe, comfortable environment. I then pay close attention to how they react and respond to the experimentation, both verbally and physically. I use that feedback to continue to help them experiment in areas where I find they have desires, while not pushing too far in areas where they don't. I give them the encouragement and opportunity to explore their desires, even if they weren't sure they had those desires to begin with. For example, with cucks I may bring up the idea of them learning to clean their wives. I discuss the idea with them and how my previous cucks explored that aspect. Sometimes this is with the wives, but sometimes it is in private if I think the cucks are more comfortable discussing it with me one on one. I may then show them some porn with cucks cleaning to help them visualize the experience. I will also finish inside of the wives and then have them spread their legs for their husbands when I am done. I'll encourage them to see how sexy and beautiful her pussy looks when it is swollen, wet, and my cum is dripping out of it. When I feel the time is right, I will encourage them to take that next step. In that case, I've "trained" the husband to do something, but it was never forced. I introduced an idea to him, helped him consider it, encouraged him, and then provided the right opportunity to experience it. Whether that is training, conditioning, seduction, or just fun, I am not sure...but the end result is definitely fun for sure. Eric

Steve, Great post. Although not often discussed, this whole lifestyle comes down to trust. Obviously there is the trust that the husband gives to his wife to allow her to play. There is also the trust the wife has to her husband to know that he isn't going to get mad and hold this against her. There is the trust that the husband and wife both have to have for her lover. Finally, we outsiders also need to be able to trust our couples. The bedrock of trust is communication. It allows you to understand what everyone else is thinking, while being able to express yourself. You can't have trust without communication. I'm very happy to hear that you guys realize that. This lifestyle does a lot of great things for couples, but one of the major ones is what it teaches them about themselves and each other. The husbands and wives are both freed to break beyond marital stereotypes and discover what they really enjoy. The wives are able to pursue the sex that they want and the husbands are amazed to see this newfound confidence in their wives. The husband learn how much pleasure there is to be gained from playing a supportive role and they are freed from always having to be the one who takes the lead. The wives are equally excited to see their husbands learn about themselves and be able to take on this new role. Once again, great post. Eric

L, I completely understand the challenge of trying to balance your raging hormones with prudence. I don't think there is really a single right answer, but my recommendation is for the three of you to talk...talk some more...and then talk a little more after that. All of your feelings and interests are going to change and evolve as you explore things, so don't assume that they understand what you want and don't let them assume they know what you want. Keep open lines of honest communication in all directions and things should work out well. I hope Steve's March Madness bracket is in better shape than mine. I'm glad I could give you a little early morning inspiration. Eric

No apologies necessary. I know you two have had your hands full (pun intended). I'm just glad you guys are having fun and enjoying yourselves. "So good for our marriage!"...that right there is the ultimate goal. It isn't just about the wife or the husband being happier and more satisfied, it is about them being happier together. That's when you know things are right. Speaking of which, my second couple surprised me with a spring break visit recently. Their kids went off to a camp, so they decided to have an "adult" vacation of their own. During dinner one night, they reiterated that those years we were together full-time were the most fun and exciting of their marriage. I always take that as the highest compliment and reminds me of the value that a bull should always strive to provide their couples. PS I third the motion that your new profile picture is great. You've got fantastic legs.

S/L, You're back and forth is very cute and entertaining for the rest of us. Thanks for sharing and having fun. To touch on Steve's original post, in my experience...so take it with a grain of salt...your experience is very typical. It may not make sense to outsiders, but while the relationship between the wife and I develops, the couples almost always become more intimate. They kiss more, touch more, flirt more than they ever did before we got involved. Their sexual satisfaction with each other grows, even while she is having sex with me more and more. From the husband's perspective, I think a lot of the new found excitement comes from seeing their wives embrace their sexuality. It is amazing for them to see her self-confidence grow as she learns about her own desires and ability to pursue them. The wives usually spend more time dressing to appeal to their lovers, which is also very exciting. I was out having beers with one of my cucks one night and he said before our relationship, his wife was the type who would rarely even say what position she wanted, let alone initiate the encounter. Within a couple of weeks of being with me, she had zero qualms about telling he and I that she wanted a session with me. Before our dates she would tell her husband everything that she wanted to do with me. During our sessions, she became very vocal too. He said all of that made her seem so much sexier to him. He loved her new found confidence. He loved watching her get ready for our dates and he couldn't keep his hands off of her. He loved watching her lose herself while having sex with me. He loved when I left and they would snuggle up in bed. He said she had never been more beautiful or sexy. Finally, I wouldn't worry about your new feelings fading any time soon. You guys have just started this journey, so there is so much more to explore and adventures to be had. It should only continue to get better. Eric

You hit the nail on the head. When I am with a couple, I realize that I am an "invited guest." I can, should, and do express my opinions on things, but the final say is theirs. My job as the bull is to help them explore the lifestyle and their desires, but that is done through encouragement, not ultimatums.

I think your first two sentences says it all. You two got into this because you wanted to watch her. If this guy isn't supportive of that, then he isn't the right guy for you. Full stop. With a little bit of effort you guys can find someone who is both able take care of her sexual needs and enjoys having you watch. Plenty of us are aroused by having the cuckolds watch us.

Good luck. Have fun. Be safe.

Thank you very much. I would be curious to hear your perspective, but I think the difference between bulls and guys who just like the idea of having sex with a wife is that understanding of a couple's dynamic and the roles of those involved. That includes that they care about the husbands involvement and development. What a lot of guys don't get is that if they invest a little effort in the cucks, the cucks will often become the biggest cheerleaders of the relationship between the bull and the wife. With a couple like SandL, who are new to the lifestyle and the husband hasn't watched yet, I would take it slow. I would encourage the wife to do exactly like L is doing and share every intimate detail of our one-on-one encounters. I would then start to breach the communication barrier between her husband and I. That could be as simple as telling her to tell him thank you for the evening we had together or telling him that I really enjoyed her outfit tonight and encourage him to help her wear more things like that for me. Eventually I would want to start communicating with him directly via phone call, text, and/or email. I would want us to be comfortable talking to one another, not just lifestyle stuff, but just general conversation. The goal is that by the time he and I meet in person, I want to skip the awkward first conversation and simply pick our conversation up where we left off last. I want him to be at ease with me. While getting to know him, I would let him know that he is welcomed to watch her and I, whenever she and he decide they are ready for that step (wife always gets the veto). I would tell him that I am very comfortable with that and that I think he would really enjoy it. Furthermore, by watching, he is showing her how supportive he is, so it isn't just a positive for the husband, but also good for the wife. In the end, he never has to watch, but I want him to want to watch. Last, but not least, I think most wives in the lifestyle really appreciate when I invest time and effort in building a relationship with their husbands. They want their husbands to be happy too and it definitely helps when they know their husbands really like their bulls. When it isn't just themselves who are eagerly anticipating their bulls coming over, but their husbands as well. When done right, I've had cucks that developed something akin to crushes, for lack of a better word and if it makes sense. I would be interested in hearing your and SandL's (both husband's and wife's) perspective on that. Eric

L, Excellent post and great question. Like just about everything else in the lifestyle, each step should be taken after careful consideration, both personally and together as a couple. I've been involved with couples for over ten years, typically in the form of long-term, steady relationships. With most of them, the husbands watched from the beginning, but I did have a couple where the husbands only joined to watch later. I have been really lucky and never had any really negative experiences. I think that stems from my experience with other couples, which has helped me understand the husband's role and help them enjoy the event. Each is going to be a bit different, but I want to make sure that they feel welcomed and not like an awkward third wheel. I've learned to read their body language and pay attention to how they react throughout the session. Although my primary focus is always on the wife's pleasure, I realize the more the husbands enjoy the experience, the more they will be supportive of the relationship. With that said, some level of jealousy is often to be expected. The husbands are sharing something very precious to them and that alone is usually enough to cause some jealousy, but even more so considering that I am providing something special for their wives (or I wouldn't be there in the first place). I'm just mindful of that, especially at first, and always emphasize that this isn't me versus the husband. Instead it us working together to make sure she is pleasured in a way she deserves. We have different roles in that and there is a power dynamic, but it is a team sport. That's a long way of saying that things should go well with your husband watching. Just make sure that your lover understand ands appreciates your husband's role, while your husband appreciates your lover for what he is providing you. As long as there is mutual respect between everyone and you take things at a comfortable pace, it should be an incredible experience. I still remember sitting in the kitchen with the first boyfriend (future husband) who watched me with his then girlfriend (future wife) and him looking me in the eyes and saying that watching us had been the most erotic experience of his life. No wonder I've been involved with couples since E