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About athlete951

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  1. L, A wonderful post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. I think your experiences have taught you a lot about yourself, some of which you are still coming to grips with. That is absolutely normal and part of the lifestyle. Honestly the learning never stops, which is part of the fun. On one hand you learned how good sex can be. You learned that size matters to you. You also discovered the pleasure of being with a strong, confident, aggressive man in the bedroom. That you can be submissive to a man, if has the ability to earn it. You will never be able to go back to thinking you can be satisfied by and monogamous to an average guy. That ship has sailed. On the other hand, I think you also found out that you are a pretty darn good cuckoldress (i.e., domme, hot wife vixen, etc.). You have a natural domme streak and ability to help gently push a submissive to do new things with and for you. You also found out how having power can be arousing in a similar way to giving it up. These two sides are part of who you are. I think to be truly satisfied and happy that you will need to be able balance the two. That may not come quickly or easily, but I think that is where you need to eventually get to. You obviously don't seem to be struggling to find willing and able black men, but finding another cuck will be more of a challenge. You can use online searches to help find an interested cuck, but for some reason I feel like you need to know a guy first before you know him as a cuck. If that is the case, I think you are going to have to get back into the vanilla dating pool at first. While I haven't found any way to tell if a guy has cuck tendencies right away, I think there are some things you can do early on to help get a sense if there is potential. First and probably most important for you, I would be open with him that you have been sexually involved with black men. If he has a negative reaction, that's an easy sign that the relationship isn't going to go anywhere. If he is indifferent that is neither positive or negative. If he acts curious and/or supportive of it, then that is a very positive sign. Now that is a relationship you may want to invest more time into. Eric
  2. I always appreciate seeing cuckolding sneak its way into mainstream media. I see it as a key way of helping to normalize the lifestyle. I want couples to stop having to feel guilty about exploring the lifestyle. I want to eliminate the negative connotation of being a cuck. I want to be able to go on more open dates with my couples.
  3. Great question and response. I appreciate you getting the conversation started. Pflash99 has a lot of experience and advice to offer, so I would definitely pay attention to his responses. My experience is that every husband experiences some level of jealousy. The interesting aspect is that the jealousy is actually part of the excitement for the husbands. They're jealous of what her lovers can do to her, but that is exactly why the husbands seek out capable lovers in the first place. Jealousy only really becomes a problem when it creates resentment and when it becomes the focus of the husband vice the pleasure of watching his wife. Luckily that has never become an issue with my couples, but I have heard about it happening with other lifestyle couples. I think something that has helped me is that I care about the cuckold's experience and growth as well. If the cucks are enjoying themselves and feel connected to the relationship, they will be the biggest cheerleaders for the relationship. If they are treated like third wheels, they can become jealous and resentful. I've never had a husband from one of my couples he regretted it and wish he could go back, but once again I've only had positive experiences with my couples. I think each husband struggles a bit realizing that they are not stereotypical alpha men in the bedroom, but the other feeling is a relief at being freed from trying to live up to that stereotype. A lot of husbands feel a great deal of stress trying to live up to that stereotype and being solely responsible for their wife's pleasure. Getting involved in the lifestyle frees them from that and allows them the opportunity to be themselves. One way the wives see their husbands differently is that they see how loving and caring their husbands are. How they love them so much that they are willing to put her needs first. That is very endearing and helps to strengthen marriages.
  4. Adam, Exactly what L said. A successful experience within the lifestyle begins (and continues) with effective communication. You both need to be comfortable sharing your feelings and desires. You also need to realize that those feelings and desires with evolve throughout your exploration, so continued communication is key. As you start working on that improved communication, I would recommend two mutually supportive tracks. One track is like you experienced the other day. Work those conversations into your play sessions. For starters they should really make things exciting for you both. Additionally, it will help you guys develop comfort with expressing your feelings. As your comfort builds, you can start working on the second track, which is to slowly discuss the practical aspects of it. For example, what type of guy are you interested in having join you? Would you two prefer a one night stand or something more long-term? What are your rules on condoms? Would you always get to watch? What are your boundaries? These sorts of very practical details can help a couple go from the fantasy stage to making it a fun, comfortable reality. Two last points. First, don't be in a rush. As exciting as the fantasy may be, it is not worth ruining your relationship over. Take your time. It will be worth the wait. Second, be careful and avoid making this about you. While your opinion certainly matters and you should never do something you don't want to, if you focus on your girlfriend's comfort and pleasure, things will work out better. She should never feel forced into doing something and she should feel empowered by the experience. Eric
  5. Maury, sorry to hear about the bad experience. That really sucks. Emotions are tricky things and while most of us are focused on the physical aspects of the lifestyle, it can be hard for emotions to not get involved. My advice is generally for couples to look for men who have a desire to be with a couple (vice wanting the woman to himself) and who have successfully been with couples before. Guys who care about the husbands too and want them involved in the relationship. Additionally, all three participants need to be as open and honest with each other as possible. It is a bad sign when the men and wives start having lots of secrets. Finally, it is good to remember that emotions are not a zero sum game. Just because a wife begins to care for her lover doesn't mean she necessarily cares for her husband any less. She can easily appreciate both men for what they bring to her and the relationship. Just because she may be smitten with the lover doesn't mean she should care for her husband any less. Once again, sorry for the negative experience and best of luck.
  6. I'm with you. If I wanted to be alone with the woman, I would date single women. What I enjoy is not only the sex, but the thrill of having an audience. Someone who greatly appreciates the pleasure I am providing his wife. I never want the husbands to feel left out or like third wheels. The more they feel connected to my relationship with their wives and the excitement they get from watching, the more supportive they will be. Cucks will be the biggest cheerleaders for the relationship, if and when they feel a part of that relationship and appreciated for their roles.
  7. Congrats. Obviously exploring the lifestyle is a big step for any couple, but it sounds like things are going well so far. My recommendation for all couples is to continuously discuss it, so that each partner is able to express their feelings and understand the others. With that don't feel that as the cuck that you have any less right to express your feelings. If you feel ignored and forced to bottle up those feelings it will eventually cause issues with the relationship, regardless of how supportive you want to be. In that vein, I would recommend following Nicki's advice (which is usually phenomenal to begin with). Tell her that you would like to watch and ask her if they would be comfortable with it. There is a chance that she (or he) may say no at this point, but realize that this is new for them too, so if they say no, just give it some time and ask again. The humiliation aspect of your relationship is interesting. I caution outsiders and rookies that humiliation doesn't have to be a part of the cuckold lifestyle. With that said, many people, men and women, are aroused by well executed/delivered humiliation. It's a learning process. In the meantime, good luck and play safe.
  8. It is definitely good to hear that it was an improvement for you two. If you don't mind owe asking, how long into the marriage did you two start exploring it? Whose idea was it at first?
  9. Thanks for sharing your perspective. I only know the lifestyle from the bull perspective, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but my couples have had similar experiences. I think there are almost ups and downs with lifestyle couples, but as you pointed out, you can say the same thing about vanilla couples. In fact my couples have described the vanilla periods of their marriages as extremely stressful. Most struggled to be open and honest with one another. For the wives it usually revolved around them struggling to admit that they had sexual desires that their husbands were unable to fulfill. They thought that admitting their husbands had sexual shortcomings would hurt him too badly and end the marriage. They felt trapped and that their only options were to be unsatisfied or cheat. Meanwhile many of the husbands felt trapped into playing stereotypical male roles that they either didn't want or couldn't fulfill. Once a couple explores the lifestyle though those communication walls come down. They are both able to be so much more open and honest with each other. The wives gain confidence in expressing their wants and desires. The husbands learn that they can still be amazing husbands even if they are playing a supportive role in the bedroom. Finally, your point about the lifestyle making you a better person is a great one. It certainly teaches you not to judge others. Thanks for sharing
  10. You know you could also just choose not to read their threads, right? It's really not that difficult. If you look at their readership and follower numbers, you'll see that plenty of people must like their banter. They are also not hurting anyone, so I suggest you ignore their posts in the future and let them have their fun.
  11. I think RobJohnson hit the nail on the head. Some women (and men) enjoy being humiliated and if this is the case for you wife then sure, have fun. If the wife isn't into being humiliated then absolutely not. This lifestyle is ultimately about the wife's pleasure. I'm usually extremely cautious of couples where I suspect the husband isn't focused on his wife's pleasure and happiness. You can quickly tell which husbands are the selfish, self-involved types and I have no desire to be around those types. Also, if they use disrespectful language to describe their wives, that is pretty much an automatic red flag and the end of the discussion.
  12. athlete951

    Who knows?

    I do think that those of us in the lifestyle should play some role in "normalizing" the it. Part of that is doing my best with couples to help them understand that they are not alone in these desires. For the wives that is usually understanding that there are many wives like them who absolutely love their husbands, but are not sexually satisfied by them. For the husbands it is understanding that many men struggle to please their wives and that they can gain pleasure by helping their wives find the pleasure they need and deserve. It's about de-stigmatizing those issues. Another part is that when I tell others that I date couples, I am letting broader society know that normal, well adjusted people do things like this and enjoy it. That there is nothing wrong with the people in the lifestyle. Maybe that encourages them to explore, but maybe at a minimum it helps them be less judgmental about those of us who do this.
  13. athlete951

    Who knows?

    Mt872, great post. Definitely a good conversation starter. I always believe that safety is the number one concern in the lifestyle, but discretion is pretty close behind. As the "third wheel" I believe I have a strong responsibility for ensuring that my couple's lifestyle remains as much of a secret as they want it to be. That involves not telling people in my life details about them, sharing pictures, etc. If and when they choose to become more open, I will as well, but again it is always their prerogative. Things are different as a bull. There is less stigma attached to being in the lifestyle as a bull, so I have been relatively more free to be open about what I do. While I don't share details about my experiences and relationships (without my couple's permission), I have been open that this is something I do and enjoy. Most people are surprised at first, but are generally supportive that I am happy. It definitely sparks a little curiosity as well. One other aspect is that I am not ashamed about the lifestyle. I do not see what I do with couples as a bad thing. If anything I feel like I am doing something good for them and their relationship. I'm proud of that and if others can't see it that way, that is their problem, not mine.
  14. Congrats, Guys. Glad you're having fun. Steve, that was a big step for you and although it sounds like you were a bit nervous, I hope you enjoyed the experience. I've had my cucks describe cleaning as an almost overwhelming mix of sights, smells, tastes, and emotions, especially at first. I always try to make that first time as comfortable of an experience for them as possible. Before hand I try to help them understand that the vast majority of the time any reluctance on their part has more to do with the taboo than a lack of interest. I explain that who cares what is/is not taboo, we should instead focus on what feels right and enjoyable to us. That's what really matters. I think if you continue to explore this, you will find that you quickly get past any nervousness. I think the act will make you feel a deeper bond with L and her lover(s) than you have experienced yet. You'll also find that L will never appreciate your tongue more than she does at the end of a long session with a large man. Each lick will send waves through her.
  15. Hey L, Great thread. Understanding the physiological aspects of the lifestyle have always been part of the fascination for me. What motivates the couples as a collective and as individuals. Same goes for bulls. It may be my personal training background, but I've never seen or used the term "training" as a negative. When I "train" a couple, I'm not forcing them to do anything, which is the same physical fitness training, where I am not forcing a client to do anything. Instead I am using my experience to help provide options and guidance in a safe, comfortable environment. I then pay close attention to how they react and respond to the experimentation, both verbally and physically. I use that feedback to continue to help them experiment in areas where I find they have desires, while not pushing too far in areas where they don't. I give them the encouragement and opportunity to explore their desires, even if they weren't sure they had those desires to begin with. For example, with cucks I may bring up the idea of them learning to clean their wives. I discuss the idea with them and how my previous cucks explored that aspect. Sometimes this is with the wives, but sometimes it is in private if I think the cucks are more comfortable discussing it with me one on one. I may then show them some porn with cucks cleaning to help them visualize the experience. I will also finish inside of the wives and then have them spread their legs for their husbands when I am done. I'll encourage them to see how sexy and beautiful her pussy looks when it is swollen, wet, and my cum is dripping out of it. When I feel the time is right, I will encourage them to take that next step. In that case, I've "trained" the husband to do something, but it was never forced. I introduced an idea to him, helped him consider it, encouraged him, and then provided the right opportunity to experience it. Whether that is training, conditioning, seduction, or just fun, I am not sure...but the end result is definitely fun for sure. Eric