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secondjag

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  1. secondjag

    Umm

    NEEDED SAYING Moscow man buys a newspaper, glances at the front page then throws it in the bin. Next day he does exactly the same. Third day he does it again. Eventually the newspaper seller snaps "WHY do you do that?" "Oh, I'm just checking for an obituary". "But obituaries aren't even on the front page". "Oh, the one I'm looking for will be!"
  2. My pleasure Sean; forgot these two champ4-9.mp4 BWC with respectable load.mp4
  3. got to start the week proper ( 6 vids) Slow riding.mp4 Hotwife love.mp4 Twofer.mp4 Sloppy Toppy.mp4 Entertaining the neighbors.mp4 redhead goth bathroom bj.mpg
  4. secondjag

    Umm

    "My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a tiff with Riley." "Riley? He's just a wee little fellow," the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand." "Aye, that he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was." "Dear Lord, didn't you have anything in YOUR hand?" "Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley's left tit." Kelly said, "And a beautiful thing it is, but not much use in a fight!"
  5. sure, why not? (3 vids) The joy of full.mp4 good girls share.mp4 cuckold cruise.mp4
  6. secondjag

    Umm

    Some Quotes about Sex You know that look women get when they want to have sex? Me neither. - Steve Martin I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.' - Woody Allen It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom. - Joan Rivers My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams Studies show that about half of Americans have sex at work. Coincidentally, that’s the same half that say they are happy with their jobs. - Melanie White Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don’t multiply. - Phil Proctor Erotica is using a feather; pornography is using the whole chicken. - Isabel Allende The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen My wife likes to talk to me during sex. In fact, the other day she called me from a motel. - Scotty Record If God’s got anything better than sex to offer, he’s certainly keeping it to himself. - Sting Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add. - Fran Liebowitz My sex life is very bad. If it weren’t for pickpockets I’d have no sex life at all. - Henny Youngman Men like women with a past because they hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West I asked my wife, “On a scale from one to ten, how do you rate me as a lover?” She said, “You know I’m no good at fractions.” - Rodney Dangerfield Give me chastity and continence, but not yet! - Unknown Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere. - Mae West I told my girlfriend that unless she expressed her feelings and told me what she liked, I wouldn’t be able to please her. So she said, “Get off me.” - Garry Shandling Give a man a free hand and he'll try to put it all over you. - Mae West The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. - Brendan Behan Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL. - Lynn Lavner My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she's reading. - Emo Philips
  7. secondjag

    Umm

    yup, funny stuff Peter, thanks for sharing
  8. Thank you Sean; that is much appreciated
  9. secondjag

    Umm

    Little Johnny and Little Susie were walking along a trail in the woods. Little Susie noticed that some of the animals were behaving oddly."Little Johnny, why is that rabbit on top that other one?" she asked.Little Johnny stops to consider his answer, and replies, "They're making cigarettes.""Cigarettes?" she says, as they continue walking along. Pretty soon they approach a couple of raccoons.Little Susie asked, "Are they making cigarettes too?""Yea," says Little JohnnyLittle Susie looks around and says, "it looks like all the animals are making cigarettes, why don't we make cigarettes?"Little Johnny was quick to say, "OK!"A hour or so later Little Johnny and Little Susie were walking out of the woods, when she asked, "Little Johnny, what kinda cigarettes did we make?"Little Johnny stops to think about his answer, then replies, "Well, if you get a hump in your belly it's a Camel, and if you don't, it's a Lucky Strike." An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'The two sat sipping in silence.A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.' A guy wakes up in the morning. He has a massive hangover and can't remember anything he did last night. He picks up his dressing gown from the floor and puts it on. He notices there's something in one of the pockets and it turns out to be a bra. He thinks to himself, "Uh oh. What happened last night?" He walks towards the bathroom and finds a panty in the other pocket of his gown. Again he thinks, "What happened last night. What have I done? It must have been a wild party," making his best attempt to conclude and accept the evidence. He opens the bathroom door, walks in and has a look in the mirror. He notices a little string hanging out of his mouth and his only thought is, "If there's a God, please let this be a tea bag.
  10. let's get this weekend started (10 vids) 87141788_GoodNeighbor.mp4 583030034_FilmingthewifesactionwithBBC.mp4 Mother-In-Law Wanted Huge BBC in her Mouth.mp4 519550110_CuckoldKiss.mp4 Wife Thanks Husband For Her BBC.mp4 Kiss the Bride.wmv 1017636301_Takingitallin.mp4 cuckold cruise.mp4 2076585953_Blowjobbybabewithamazingtits.mp4 sucking black dick.mp4
  11. secondjag

    Umm

    He wanted many things in a wife, but above all he wanted one who was a virgin. Falling madly in love with Summer, he decided to test her.At a drive-in one night, he leaned over and asked, "Would you like to see my pee-pee?"As he unzipped his fly, Summer covered her eyes. "No! No! Please put it back!"Thrilled, he deemed Summer worthy of being his bride, and immediately proposed to her. On their wedding night, he was keenly anticipating the delight of introducing Summer to sex.When she came to bed, he unzipped his fly and took out his member.Summer smiled, "Oooooh...what a nice pee-pee."He stroked her hair. "My dear, the first thing you must learn is that it really isn't called a pee-pee. It's called a cock.""No," Summer said, studying it, "That's a pee-pee. A cock is long and thick, like Bubba's!!"
  12. here's a few ( 3 vids) Woman Rides Squirts On BBC.mp4 LOoK at Me BaBy.mp4 tit fucked.mp4
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