secondjag

Kinda does

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A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says. The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought. When she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two loaves. As the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what's going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread. After many trips she is tired and irritated and begins to wonder, "Why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?" Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below. Then, she notices an elderly man standing among the crowd. Thinking that she can save herself another trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you too?" "No," he stammers, "But it's quiverin' a little.” A polar bear and a penguin were walking along the snow dunes one day when the polar bear fell down a chasm.Try as he might, the poor polar bear couldn't get out.The penguin did everything he could think of, but he couldn't rescue his friend.Then a thought struck him! He said, "Hold on for a few minutes, I'll be right back!"He then ran off and returned in a few minutes driving his red Ferrarri.He backed it up to the edge of the chasm and tied a rope to the end.With his friend holding on to the rope, he was able to pull him out to safety.After the polar bear thanked the penguin for saving his life, they continued on their walk.Later on that very same day, the penguin fell into a similar chasm.Now, as everyone knows, polar bears can't drive.So it looked bad for the penguin.Then the polar bear had an idea! He allowed his penis to swing down into the chasm, all the way to the bottom.The penguin gladly used it to climb his way to the top!The moral of this: If you have a big enough penis, you don't need a Ferrari.

Ya just never know huh?

Sweet; keep us posted

gotta wonder if it's her boss

feel for you buddy. can you make it happen?

glad u dug it dirty. gotta say, all the comments lately are inspirational

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some days the Jaguar wins...

Glad u dug it Dirty

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After an Alabama tourist had been served in the Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said, "Miss, would y'all give me a piece of ass?""Lord, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl.Then she smiled and added, "Sure, why not? It's pretty slow here right now, so let's go!"When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, "Will there be anything else?""Yes," replied the tourist. "Where ah come from in Alabama, we lack our bourbon 'n watuh cold, so ah still need a piece uh ass for mah drink." A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and, when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered, "Yes ma'am. Ya see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a complete city outfit."Her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where would you like to start?""Well, ma'am, how about a suit?""Yes sir. What size?""Size 53 tall, ma'am.""Wow, that's really big.""Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas.""What's next?" she asked.He replied, "How about some shoes?""What size?""Size 15 double E.""Wow, that's really big!""Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas.""What's next?""Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt.""Yes sir. What size?""Nineteen and a half neck, sleeves 38," he replied."Wow, that's really big!""Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas.""Will there be anything else?" she asked."Yes ma'am. I ‘spect I'll need a hat.""Yes sir. What size?""Eight and five-eighths.""Wow, that's really big!""Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."She virtually glowed as she asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you?""No ma'am, I reckon that will be all."As the sweet young thing tallied up his bill, and as the Texan counted out his money, she blushed and asked, "Sir, could I ask you a question?""Yes ma'am, I already know what it is. And the answer is four inches."Astonished, she blurted out, "Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!"Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied, "From the floor, ma'am?" A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and starts flexing in front of a blonde woman. She exclaims, "Wow, what a great chest you have!" He says, "Solid dynamite, babe." He then takes off his pants and the blonde says, "Wow, what massive calves you have!" He flexes his leg muscles and says, "Like I said, pure dynamite, sweetheart." Then he removes his underwear and the blonde goes running and screaming in fear. He gets dressed and goes chasing after the woman. When he catches up to her, he asks, "Why the hell did you go running off like that?" She replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was."

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lol, can't it be both???

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Too many; Page 1 of 2

A typical married couple were lying in bed one night.The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book.As he was reading, he paused and reached over to his wife and started fondling her "pussy".He did this only for a very short while, and then he would stop and resume reading his book.The wife gradually became aroused with this, and thought that her husband was seeking some response as encouragement before going any further.She got up and started stripping in front of him.The husband was confused and asked "What are you doing taking your clothes off?"The wife replied, "You were playing with my "pussy". I thought it was foreplay to stimulate making love with you tonight."The husband said, "No, not at all."The wife then asked, "Well, what the hell were you doing then?""I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book!" A plumber was called to a woman's apartment in New York to repair a leaking pipe.When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly.About 4:30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing their bedroom shenanigans."That was my husband," she said, "He's on his way home, but he's going back to the office around 8. Come back then, dear, and we can take up where we left off."The union plumber looked at the woman in disbelief. "What? On my own time??"