secondjag

no way am I taking a hj through the car window. get in the fuckin car and suck this dick

One summer, a few years ago, a middle age French-Canadian man named Jacques decided to vacation on the coast of Maine. While soaking up some sun on the beach, a very pretty girl caught his eye and brought on his sexual desires. He immediately got up, ran to her, grabbed her by the hand and brought her to his hotel room. There he had sex with her and then sent the young lady on her way. She immediately reported this to the police and Jacques was arrested. On his court date the judge asked him if he understood the nature of the crime he committed against the young lady. Jacques looked at the judge with a bewildered look and said "Non!! Hi don't understand! Hin my country you grab de pretty girl, bring her to de hotel room, BOOM-BOOM, give hit to her den let her go! Hit's O.K.!!!" "Sir", the judge said, in THIS country if you are to have sex with a lady, you must have her permission first, or it is considered r********. You must have her consent!" After hearing this, Jacques turned around and mysteriously looked at the judge and exclaimed, "CUNSCENT!!! Hi got her cunscent!!! Hi got her cunscent on my fingers, cunscent on my mustache, hi got her cunscent everywhere!!! John and Marsha were having marital difficulties, neither being able to satisfy the other sexually. One day Marsha visited her friend, Dorothy, who was quite a woman of the world, and casually mentioned the problem. "It's not the first time I've heard of it," said Dorothy. "You can go to all the doctors in the world and they can't help you. But there is a remedy." "For God's sake, Dorothy, tell me what it is!" exclaimed Marsha. She said, "Well, since you insist, and against my better judgment, I will tell you. The only remedy is for John to eat it." "Oh, no!" exclaimed Marsha, "He would never do that!" Dorothy shrugged. "There you have it -- take it or leave it. You asked and I told you." Driving home, Marsha prepared an unusually fine supper for John that night. When he returned from work, he enjoyed it mightily, but wondered a bit about the reason for it. "That was a great meal," he said. "Anything unusual happen today? Enjoy your visit with Dorothy?" Marsha told John of Dorothy's suggestion. "Absolutely not!" he exploded. "I won't engage in such disgusting practices." But Marsha urged and begged until finally John gave in. "OK," he said. "I guess it won't hurt to try it once." Marsha went up and got into bed, pulling the covers up to her neck. When John joined her in bed, he surveyed the scene and tried to decide how to proceed. Finally, he raised the covers at the foot of the bed and crawled under them. Groping around until he located his target, with much hesitation, he undertook his task. No sooner than he started, Marsha broke wind explosively. Under the covers, a muffled voice was heard to say.... "Thank God for that breath of fresh air." There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel. He asked the hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started making passes, she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man. "It's OK," he replied, "it's written in the Bible." So after a wild night of wild, erotic sex, the hat check girl asked to see where in the Bible it says it's okay to have wild, passionate sex. The priest picks up the Bible off the dresser opens to the first page where someone has written in pencil: "The hat check girl puts out!"

Sunday sweet taking a pounding.mp4

I met an older woman at a club last night. This isn't usually my thing, but she was attractive enough for a 50-year-old. We had a few drinks, danced a little bit, and the next thing you know my hand was caressing her thigh and she was whispering dirty nothings in my ear. She asked me if I'd ever had a ‘sportsman's double’, a mother and dau 3-some? I said no. We drank a bit more, then she says tonight was my lucky night. We went back to her place. She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?" Once upon a time, Ole and Sven were fishing when Sven pulled out a cigar but didn't have a lighter so he asked Ole for a light. "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he replied and reached into his tackle box and pulled out a 12-inch BIC lighter. "Yiminy Cricket!" exclaimed Sven, "Vhere did yew get dat monster??" "Vell," replied Ole, "I got it from my Genie." "You haff a genie?" Sven asked. "Ya, shure, he's right here in my tackle box," said Ole. "Could I see him?" Ole opens his tackle box and out pops the genie. Sven says, "Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?" "Yes I will", the genie said, so Sven asks him for a million bucks. And the genie hops back into the tackle box and leaves him standing there waiting for his million bucks. Suddenly the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard! Sven yells to Ole, "I asked for a million Bucks, not Ducks!" Ole answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew, da genie is hard of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked him for a 12-inch BIC?"

yeah, i know, right? she's not "bad," she's just drawn that way...

A young female came to the ER with lower abdominal pain. During the exam and questioning the female denied being sexually active.The doctor gave her a pregnancy test anyway and it came back positive. The doctor went back to the young female's room.Doctor: "The results of your pregnancy test came back positive. Are you sure you're not sexually active?"Patient: "Sexually active? No, sir, I just lay there."Doctor: "I see. Well, do you know who the father is?"Patient: "No. Who?" A poor Jamaican fisherman was shipwrecked on a desert island. He had lost his boat, his livelihood, and his possessions.He was trudging around the island in a dejected mood when he came across an old brass lamp washed up on the beach. Remembering the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps) he rubbed it. POOF! A Genie appeared - a Jewish one. "Vey!" he said. "Am I glad to be outta there. Three hundred years I bin in that thing, my life and soul! What can I do for you, my boy?" The Jamaican asked if the Genie granted wishes. "Wishes, Schmishes! Course I do. I'll grant you two wishes, used to be three but I gotta think about my margins," the genie said. "Well," said the Jamaican after some consideration, "I'd like to be white and surrounded by women." "No problem," said the Genie. POOF! The Jamaican was transformed into a tampon. Moral: Never do business with a Jewish Genie -- there's always a string attached.

confidant you would Dobe

you know how we do

glad u dug it CuckS

ok, Peter wins and thanks for playing the game. You've won an all expenses paid look at your girl dripping black cum. And this lovely video She Fucks her bbc friend and jerks for her husband.mp4

2 of 2

ok, let's get this party started 1 of 2

you'll have readers here waiting with baited breath Peter. keep us posted

focus on the head baby, and think warm, wet thoughts

Never gets old, eh guys? Enjoy

Better be hungry, but be careful, some so sweet you'll get cavities

glad u dug it x