secondjag

Ok, let's do this damn thing.  The definitive blowjob series.

 

 

 

All these years later, Betty still inspires artists.

 

 

Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring. 
"Get creative, Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing doctor for an hour?'...That's what I do," said Irving. 
"Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?" 
"Heck, just keep her in the waiting room for 55 minutes!" 

Jenny taught erotic correction,
Told her student "To get an erection,
Put your dick in my mouth,
Move it north, move it south,
Now, you're getting a sense of direction!"

Her instructions were very explicit,
And more than a little illicit:
"Please fill up my cunny,
With fresh clover honey,
And butter my buns like a biscuit."

"Then wrap me up nice in a blanket,
And I'll sit on your staff while you crank it.
I'll put on some feathers,
And laces and leathers,
And wiggle my ass while you spank it."

"Now that your fingers are stinky,
Tie me up in some chains that are clinky...
Bring in some goats and a sheik,
Give my big titties a tweak,
And now, we can start getting kinky!"

"Forget what the chain and the whip meant,
Get the straps and the slings and a shipment
Of high-grade Vaseline,
And a strong trampoline,
And all of that other equipment!"

"Now, when we get the bedsprings a strummin',
That's when I'll start in a hummin',
Then quickly, my dear,
Put it into my ear,
So I can hear the sound of it comin'!"

"I don't know how much this is costing,"
Said her student, still covered with frosting,
"But I can say with affinity,
That I've lost my virginity...
Quite frankly, my dear... you're exhausting!"

 

 

Did you watch the debate??  Or do you deserve your fate?   (9 vids)

god bless Israel and god bless our boy/girls over there.  Take it for what it's worth; I'm an atheist 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9 hours ago, Peter C said:

I'm sure, with me working 6 evenings a week, my Becky could do the same. From the number of young black guys she was talking to online, I'm sure there'd be no shortage of volunteers to introduce yet another white woman to black cock, but since we've been away for those few days, she seems to had a change of heart. No mention of her online garage and hip hop clubbing sessions or her entourage of much younger "boyfriends", but all over me like a rash and in a really good mood. 

I'm not complaining, it's great and I'm loving it, but I wonder why. Perhaps they were getting too pushy and scared her off or maybe - though I doubt it - she's done it with one of them behind my back and is feeling guilty.

"though I doubt it - she's done it with one of them behind my back and is feeling guilty"

You have no idea how spot on you are Peter and how common this is.  I'm aware you think this is unlikely.  I disagree.  The question is how are you going to find out??

 

3 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

After her first time our sex life increase 3 fold ,she just couldn't get enough, me or them. I worked nights the last 30 yrs of my career. Leave at 815 pm and get home around 9am. She did some dates and entertaining then. Always had some hot descriptions of what they did when I got up the next afternoon. 

 

Great post Gunner.  "3 fold,"  goddamn

A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young woman in a tight-fitting bikini strolled passed by.
The woman looked at the doctor, smiled, and said in a sexy voice, "Hi there, handsome. How're  you doing?" before wiggling her backside and walking off.
"Who was that?" demanded the doctor's wife.
"Err... Just a woman I met professionally," replied the doctor.
"Oh yeah?!" snarled his wife, "In whose profession? Yours or hers?"

A remarkable race are the Persians.
They have such peculiar diversions.
They screw the whole day
In the regular way,
And save up the nights for perversions.

The attractive young Sarah was about to go to bed with her new boyfriend Joe, when she burst into tears. 
"I'm afraid you'll get the wrong idea about me," she said between sobs. "I'm really not that kind of girl!" 
"I believe you," Joe said, as he tried to comfort her. 
"You're the first one," Sarah replied. 
"The first one to make love to you?" Joe asked. 
"No, silly," she replied. "The first one to believe me!" 

Little Johnny was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is it called when people are sleeping on top of each other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called making love, darling."
Little Johnny just said, "OK" and went back outside to play.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called making love! It's called bunk beds! And Bill’s mother wants to talk with you."

 

 

1 hour ago, Gunner3.5 said:

You have to understand, she becomes a duck hunting widow. She then makes a few calls and gets all the black cock she wants. And she loves it bare, always has. She in fact encourages me to duck hunt all I can. It's a win win for all parties involved.

Oh goddamn Gunner; she's perfect!  Has she always been such a treasure?

 

 

2 hours ago, Dober said:

Thanks for all the cream pied ebony pussies and asses, Jag

You are most welcome my friend.

 

2 hours ago, Dober said:

DUCK HUNTING???? you should be hunting for cream pies.

Hard to argue with that Gunner.  Blue skies and toast.

The attractive wife told her husband she was going on vacation with a girlfriend, but she really went with her long-time wealthy lover, who gave her a beautiful £10,000 mink coat. 
But she couldn't bring it home so she figured a way. She pawned the mink coat. She came home and told her husband she had found a pawn ticket, which was really the pawn ticket to her mink coat; and she asked her husband to find out what had been pawned. 
Her husband returned and told his wife it was a cheap watch. The next day his secretary was wearing a £10,000 mink coat. 

There was a young dancer, Priscilla,
Who flavored her cunt with vanilla.
The taste was so fine,
Men and beasts stood in line,
Including a stud armadilla.

A Rabbi from Peru
Was vainly attempting to screw.
His wife said "Oy vey"
If you keep up this way.
The Messiah will come before you.

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She had asked her mother to go out
and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it
would not wrinkle.
Mom forgot until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a
short pink nighty. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding, the bride and groom entered their hotel room. The groom was
a little self-conscious, so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom
and made her promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.
While she was in the bathroom, she opened her suitcase and saw the negligee
her mother had thrown in there. She exclaimed, "Oh no, it's short, pink, and wrinkled!"
Her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"

A newlywed couple gets a special present for their nuptials: a brand-new sports car.

As they leave the wedding reception, they are so excited they drive faster than they ever had before.
"I'll make you a deal," said the groom with a smile. "If I do 200mph, you take off your dress. Deal?" he asked.
"Yes!" said his adventurous wife.
As he approached 200mph, she begins to peel off her dress. With him unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car soon skidded on some gravel and flipped over. The bride, now stark naked, was fine, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
"Go and get help!" he cried.
"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"
"Take my shoe and cover yourself," he said.
Holding the shoe over her private area, the bride ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My husband's stuck!"
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do... he's in too far."

Three Italian nuns die and go to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St.  Peter.
He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and poof she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and poof she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
He reads the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to her and says, "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

A pretty girl is driving through the west. Her car runs out or gas, and an Indian comes along on a horse, and gives her a ride to a gas station. 
Every few minutes he lets out a wild whoop that would curdle milk. 
Finally, he drops her off with a final "Yiiieee-yiiieee-yiiiee!" and gallops off. 
"My god!" says the gas station guy. "What were you doing to that Indian to make him holler like that?" 
"Why, nothing," says the girl. "I just sat behind him with my arms around him, holding onto his saddle horn." 
"Lady," says the guy, "Indians don't use saddles." 

A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face.
She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?"
"Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!"
The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."
Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch.
Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher."
"That's right, Dad."
"Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."
"That sounds great, Dad, but can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me."

 

 

44 minutes ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Don't even be talking like that Dober, at least till we're done. Had some snow on Halloween and had to shut down early. The most snow we've had since 1954. We don't need anymore rain either, lol. Need to get this shit done, it's interfering with my duck hunting. Lol. 

Spare a duck for me buddy; and let him know I saved his life.

 

 

 

What else you going to do on a Monday??   (14 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 11/4/2023 at 11:48 AM, Gunner3.5 said:

Just living the dream where im at.

Now I'm jealous. You rock buddy.  Blue skies, nothing but blue skies, from now on.

 

 

Careful, I"m going to start putting up political opinions here...

( 34 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmm, let's see now...

 

 

Something for everyone, ladies included.

 

 

There was a young fellow named Simon,
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl,
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond.

A lubricious young woman named Gwen
Had never learned how to say "when!"
So she did it again
And again and again
And again and again and again.

Bill's friend, Harry, went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, so he asked her to dance.
She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, Harry said, "You really smell terrific. What's that you have on?"
The flattered girl told him it was Channel #5.
Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, "You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?"
Honest Harry replied: "Well, I've got a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it."

On Halloween day, a tall, slim, elderly man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat, and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink.
As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a Halloween party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my lousy love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln. Where is the connection?" protested the barkeep.

"The connection is that my last four scores were seven years ago."

An old Oxford professor is nearing retirement, and decides that he wants to do something fun for once. He's spent his whole life researching scientific theories in his lab and wants to do something outside for a change, so he asks his assistant for a suggestion of something different to go and research.
This assistant is a bit of a git, and decides he'll play a prank on the old man, and suggests he research 'sheep shagging'.
The professor thinks this is a great idea and heads off to Wales to begin his research.
He heads out to the countryside and finds a farmer to quiz about his unnatural habits.
The professor greets him and asks if he's got time to answer a couple of quick questions.
"No problem, boyo," says the farmer, "go right ahead.”
"Well," said the professor, "what I'd like to know first is, do you own any sheep here?"
"Of course, boyo, biggest farm for miles round here I have. We've got loads of 'em."
"Great, now the next question is a bit personal -- do you use your sheep for sex?"
"Ohh, too right, boyo. There's three or four out there who are my particular favorites."
"So, how exactly do you .... do it?"
"Well, normally I take them down to the river, I slap their back feet in my wellies, the sheep pushes back from the water, bloody heaven, boyo."
The professor thanks him and heads for the airport. Having heard about the Kiwis, he heads out to New Zealand with exactly the same plan.
He finds a farm, talks to the farmer and gets the same responses. "Round up the sheep, head 'em up towards a cliff and off you go. Back feet in my boots, sheep pushing back from the cliff, bloody marvelous mate."
Again, the professor thanks him and decides that his research needs only one more addition.
So he jets off to the world center of sheep shagging, Australia.
Once in Australia, he drives out to the bush, finds the biggest farm he can and knocks on the farmhouse door.
He repeats his questions to the farmer.
"Too right, mate. Usually, I stick their back legs in me wellies, front legs over me shoulders and away we go!"
"So the sheep faces you? That's strange. I've been talking to people around the world about this, and they all do it with the sheep facing away from them."
The Aussie is shocked.
For a few seconds he can't speak, then he manages to stutter: "What? No kissing?"

 

 

 

 

Dober, you know I'm a sucker for a great creampie shot.  Great post!!

A man called his doctor, and said "doc", you gotta come over here quick, you see when my wife got out of the shower, and bent over to pick up her towel a mouse ran straight up her twat.
The doctor said, "Okay just hold a piece of cheese just outside of her vagina until I get over there".
The doctor drove up, got out of his car, and went inside to see the man holding a big fish up to her twat instead of cheese. The doctor asked, "what are you doing, I said a piece of cheese."
The man said, "I did what you said, and it almost worked, but when the mouse started to come out, the cat chased it right back up her snatch!

There was a young girl from Wick
Who said "mother what is a dick?"
She said "my dear Annie"
It goes in your fanny
And jumps up and down till its sick.

Frank and Ted went to the fair. They came across a small crowd gathered around a stall and went over to take a look. "What's going on?" Ed asked one of the crowd.

"We're watching to see if some idiot can ride that bronco machine," he said nodding towards a fearsome looking machine. "Nobody has managed to stay on for the full three minutes yet, and there's a prize of $100 for anybody who can.

"I can do that," Frank said confidently.

"You can't," said Ted. "You'll get yourself killed if you try and ride that thing."

Watch this," said Frank as he climbed aboard the bronco machine. The machine thrashed wildly, up and down, from side to side, around in circles but still a grim-faced Frank clung to its back. After two minutes the machine was bucking almost vertically and spinning until Ed was a blur. But when the three minutes were up Frank was still on the machine's back acknowledging the cheers and cries from the small crowd.

He dismounted, collected his winnings, and rejoined Ted.

"Where in hell did you learn to ride a bucking bronco like that?" Ted asked.

"Remember three months ago," Frank replied, "When your wife had whooping cough...?"

 

 

21 minutes ago, Peter C said:

A windy Wednesday here in the UK, awaiting Storm Ciaran...

in that 10th photo down. I was thinking how nice it would be if those 3 women kneeling down sucking black cocks were Becky and her two sisters. Becky told me a long time ago that the middle sister had gone black and of course,she's since sheepishly admitted to having a thing about black men herself. We don't know if the youngest sister would be up for it too, but I reckon she would. Like Becky, she's with a much older guy so, like Becky, would no doubt be flattered by the attention of a young black boy.

Well done Peter.