secondjag

A young couple gets married and go on their honeymoon, the following morning the bride walks out of the shower, naked.
The husband says, "Stop." Grabs his camera and takes a quick photo.

She asks him why he took a photo when he can see her naked anytime?

He says, "So I can carry it in my wallet, close to my heart."

She smiles.

He goes to have his shower, as he comes out and she is waiting with the camera and takes his photo.

He says, "Is that so you can carry my picture with you always?"

"No, it's so I can have it enlarged."

A very avid golfer was lined up and ready on the 17th tee when out of the woods came a naked girl who ran past him and into the woods on the other side of the tee. Being the avid golfer he was, he once again bore down on the ball and right in the middle of his backswing a guy in a white coat ran out of the woods and asked him if a naked lady ran past.
Our golfer said "Yes, she ran into the woods."
The guy in the white coat said thanks and ran after her. Our golfer again prepared to hit the ball when all of a sudden another man in a white coat came out of the woods carrying a 5 gallon bucket of sand and asked if he had seen a man in a white coat come through here chasing a naked lady. He said, "Yes, they ran that way through the woods."
The man said thanks and started to run off when the golfer stopped him and asked, "Hey, what's going on?"
The guy explained, "You see we work at a sanitarium institution nearby and every now and then that girl gets away and all she wants to do is get naked and fuck."
The golfer then asked, "Well what's the bucket of sand for?"
The guy in the white coat said, "Oh, that's my handicap. You see, I caught her last time!"

 

 

 

35 minutes ago, Elena said:

Elena&Thomas italian cuckold couple 

 

 

Thanks for sharing Thomas.  Elena is hot as hell.  

2 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

I'd like all my friends on here to have a Merry Christmas!

you too my man.  keep the faithl  all the young dudes,  carry the news...

 

 

I wooed a buxom young nude in Bermuda,
I was lewd, but my God! She was lewder.
She said it was crude
To be wooed in the nude --
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her!

How bitter was Joseph's existence
When he found that his girlfriend's insistence
Meant that he'd have to wed her
Before he could bed her.
She was simply a piece de resistance.

After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So, taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.
The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Fuck you!".
Then he turned to his bride and said, "Fuck you!" Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.
While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.
His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends........$32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion.......................$3,000.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui...................$8,500.
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride doing the best man.............Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD!

A man is in a hotel lobby.

He wants to ask the clerk a question.

As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him, and 

as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both startled, and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Merry X Mass.  Who loves ya baby?   (56 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 minutes ago, Peter C said:

I hope all goes well my friend and may I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Maybe 2024 will be the year my little Becky finally succumbs to temptation and plucks up the courage to go black, though these photos that pop up here from time to time look like she's already been well and truly converted.

Thanks for the kind words Peter and hope you have the best of the holiday as well.  Perhaps Becky will surprise you with a gift long in the making.  lol, do you know that every time that 2nd pic pops up here you love it?  Wonderful post buddy

3 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Definitely a big blow out. Merry Christmas my friend! Here's to your big blow out.

You said a mouthful brother.  Your post was on fire. Wish me luck through surgery and we can keep the fun going.

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"ONE CENT!" exclaims the guy.
The barman replies "Yes."
So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks,  "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?"
"Certainly, sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?" inquires the guy. "4 cents," he replies.
"FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies,
 "Same thing I'm doing to his business."

"It's my code," says a mailman named Drew,
"To unzip, then deliver a screw.
If virgins, when nervous,
Resist postal service,
I explain that the male must get through."

Three guys are drinking at a bar and talking about their favorite bars.
The first guy says, 'As good as this bar is, I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.'
'Well,' said the second man, "At my local in London, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.'
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the third guy, 'Back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you gets laid, all on the house!'
The first two guys lift their eyebrows in suspicion. 'Yea right,' says the first guy, 'there is no bar that good.' 

The man swore every word was true.
Then the second man asked, 'Come ON, be real. Did this actually happen to you?'
'Well. Not to me, personally, no,' admitted the man. "But it did happen to my sister quite a few times."

 

 

 

HOLIDAY JACKPOT!!!  MY GIFT TO YOU.  SIT BACK, RELAX, ENJOY.  (42 vids)  Seasons greetings friends.  Hope you are able to spend the holidays surrounded by folks who love you.  Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Year's coming to an end.  How 'bout a monster blow out?  Special something for the hot wives and cuckolds in here.  enjoy and seasons greetings to all.  Hope you get to spend it surrounded by people who care about you.

 

 

 

2 minutes ago, Dirtyfun1 said:

Absolutely amazing post sir. This is why you are the favorite 

Seasons greetings my friend.  You are too kind.

Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he's going to divorce his wife.
"Good grief" says Jim, "You and Sue are the happiest couple I know - why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years of obvious bliss?"
"Well" replies Fred, "Truth be known I'm just bored with pokin' the same hole night after night after night. I guess I'm hankerin' for a bit of variety."
Jim: "Well if you want variety, why don't you just, you know, turn her over every now and again?"
Fred: "What - and have a house full of kids???"

Why are priests called father?

Because it’s too suspicious to call them daddy.

 

 

34 minutes ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Good evening gentlemen,  been alittle busy playing with my new toy. She's a hunting widow now, and probably hunting herself up some hard cock. This one's alittle long but hopefully you all enjoy it. I believe there alittle bit of everything in here, even some for Dober

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

god damn Gunner;  blew the fuckin roof off!!  Thanks

bored as fuck   ( 5 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up.
"Any specific problems you should tell me about?" the doctor asked.
"Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, It seems to bleed for hours," she replied. "Do you think I might Be a hemophiliac?"
"Well," the doctor answered, "hemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a hemophiliac."
He went on, "Tell me, how much you lose when you have your period?"
After calculating for a moment the hooker replied, "Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess."

What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't??
A navel.

There once was a girl they called Trish
Who was quite a delectable dish.
Men savored her lips,
Then brought bags of chips,
For her pussy smelt strongly of fish.

There once was a guy named Herby
who 's girl wore a bowtie and derby.
Like it or not,
She had a clean shaven twat.
I guess there's no furby for Herby.

A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very horny, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem: The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of her species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.
So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500?
Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss the gorilla."
"Second, you must never tell anyone about this."
The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
Ed stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."

 

 

Damn Bears.  Ok, what else is there to do on a Sunday afternoon??   (11 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A well-known diplomat had just returned from a weekend at a stately country home.
When he was asked by a friend whether or not he'd had a good time, he said,
"If the soup had been as warm as the wine, and the wine as old as the chicken, and the chicken as tender as the upstairs maid, and the maid as willing as the Lady of the house,
it would have been perfect."

nry and Doris were sitting in the lounge of the old folks' home one evening, Henry i his pajamas and dressing gown. Doris whispered, "Henry! Do yourself up properly; your willy's sticking out!" Henry looked down, and said, "Don't flatter yourself, dear. My willy is HANGING out!"

What happens when a whore house catches fire?
Some come out running and some run out coming!

A wife reaches her husband a silk handkerchief and asks him: "Doesn't this belong to your secretary?" "Where did you find that?" he stutters. "I didn't", she answers. "The mail man found it on your night-stand."

A soldier, filled with obvious triumph, returned from his twenty-four-hour pass and was besieged by his buddies who wanted to know, in detail, how he had made out.

The soldier, nothing loath, said gleefully, "What a piece of fuckin' luck I had.
I hadn't been off camp more than half an hour when I met this fuckin' broad and was she stacked!
We got to talking and I took her out for some fuckin' hamburgers.
Then we went to a fuckin' movie where we got friendly.
Then she took me to her fuckin' apartment and in less than five minutes I had every fuckin' stitch off her."
He paused for breath and everyone cried out, "So what happened?"  What happened?"
And the soldier said, "What do you think happened, you fuckin' jerks? We had sexual intercourse."

An elderly couple are sitting around one evening and the man says to his wife, "Marsha, we are about to celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary. We've had a wonderful life together, full of contentment and blessings. But there's something I've always wondered about. Tell me the truth. Have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
She hesitates a moment, then says, "Yes, three times, Sidney."
"Three times? How could that happen?" Sidney asks.
The wife begins recalling slowly, "Well, do you remember right after we were married and we were so broke, and the bank was going to foreclose on our little house?"
"Yes, dear, that was really a terrible time" replies the man.
Marsha continued, "And remember when I went to see the banker one night and the next day the bank extended our loan?"
"That's hard to take" the man says, "but I guess it really was for us, so I can forgive you. What was the second time?"
"Well," she continued, "do you remember years later when you almost died from the heart problem because we couldn't afford the operation?"
"Yes, of course" the man replies.
"Then you will remember that right after I went to see the doctor, he did your operation at no cost?" she explained.
"That's true" Sidney nodded. "That shocks me, Marsha, but I do understand that you did it out of love for me, and I forgive you. So, what was the third time?"
Marsha lowers her head and says, "Sidney, do you remember when you ran for Country Club President and you needed 62 more votes...?"

 

 

11 hours ago, Hardyorkie said:

Great post Jag. Love amature home made fun.

Wish the last clip was longer.

Glad u dug them Hardy.  Try these on.   (15 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, you're a tight 'n.
She cried “'pon my soul
You're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one.”

There once was a man from Boston
Who drove around in a green Austin.
He had room for his ass
And a gallon of gas.
But his balls hung out, and he lost them.

A young man and woman met, fell in love at first sight, and decided to get married immediately. Because they had known each other for only a short time, they agreed not to talk about their past history.
On their honeymoon, they stopped at a motel with a swimming pool, put on their swim suits and went to the pool. The husband climbed to the top of the high diving board and proceeded to execute one fantastic dive after another.

The other motel guests at the pool cheered and applauded his outstanding performance. Although they had agreed not to discuss the past, he confessed to his bride he once had been an Olympic diving champ.
After a few moments, his wife stood up, walked to the edge of the pool, dived in and knifed through the water like a shark. Reaching the other side of the pool, she sprang from the water, turned around, dived back into the water and swam to the other side in just a few seconds.

She repeated this behavior for about five minutes before she finally stopped and sat down beside her husband. He was absolutely astounded by this incredible performance and said, "Although we agreed not to talk about the past, I just have to know where you learned to swim like that!"
"It's very simple. I once was a hooker in Venice, Italy."

 

 

 

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who took a sly peep through a shutter.
But all he could see
was his wife's twitching knee
And the arse of the man that was up her.

A princess is walking along a pond in the royal gardens when she looks down and sees a really ugly frog.
Picking the frog up, she comments on the creatures rather hideous appearance...
Princess: My but you are really an ugly frog!
Frog: I know, I know, I got a really bad spell on me.
Princess: Well I've seen frogs with spells but, none as ugly as you.
Frog: Look, I told you lady, it's a Really bad spell.
Princess: Well even so, if I kiss you will you turn into a Prince?
Frog: I don't know lady, a spell this bad will probably take a blow job.

A redneck took his to the Gynecologist.  They waited in the Doctor's office when, finally, the Doctor came in and asked the father, "Well, what are we here for today"?
The father answered, "To get my on birth control, Doc."
"Well, is your sexually active?", asked the Doctor.
"Naw," answered the redneck. "She just lays there, just like her mother."

A young woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The Priest said "No, but it will wipe that silly smile off of your face."

There is a fellow who is talking to his buddy and says, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I'm stumped." 

His buddy says, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" 

The first fellow does just that.

The next day, his buddy asks, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?"

"She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours!'"

 

 

43 minutes ago, Peter C said:

 

You two seem to be singing from the same hymn book on this. Well, all I can go by is how it was with my now ex-wife Debbie and the way Becky is, bearing in mind her somewhat troubled past.

Yes, I would very much like it to happen but whether Becky would ever pluck up the courage to even meet one of these guys for a coffee or a drink, with me or on her own, is very doubtful. Not impossible by any means, but highly unlikely. Maybe that's what makes me feel safe, safe in the knowledge that she wouldn't do it, but horny at the idea that she could. It would be out of character, but it could happen.

We are both still enjoying playing this "game" though, her calling her online club sessions "going out" whilst i'm at work and teasing me about getting dressed up, doing her hair and nails before being picked up by her young black boyfriend and she likes how excited and aroused I get thinking about her dating and eventually maybe even fucking Tristan.

It's worth remembering though  that Tristan is only 18, has a white girlfriend already and lives 50+ miles away. Whilst Becky does seem very keen on him, that might be because she feels safe that he doesn't live in our town. I think if he did, she'd run a mile!

At the end of the day, she's 46 - a young looking 46 - and only ever been with 3 guys, all of us white. Her son's dad abused her terribly, emotionally and physically over a period of time and she's still not completely healed mentally from that experience. That said, she's fiercely loyal and I really can't imagine her cheating on me, even with my permission despite what she says in passionate moments, such as "I might - if my hubby agreed to it". In reality, that's just not her.

Thanks for your advice and input though guys.

 

Makes perfect sense Peter.

 

22 minutes ago, Dober said:

Out Fucking standing Jag.... that one GIF where the guy pulls out of the chick with those black 5" Stiletto heels and she plants that creampie right smack dab on his face is priceless . I could watch it til I cum.

So glad u dug it Dober.  Many of those were hand picked just for you.