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secondjag

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Everything posted by secondjag

  1. lmao, you lazy fucker. take a Viagra and learn to count 🤣🤣
  2. On that you can rely. Just a little something to pass the time. (9 vids) 1caption1.mp4 tomando um cafézinho Hb.mp4 Vids 4913.mp4 VITA.mp4 Chloe Welsh Black leotard red skirt _ black seamed legwear - BTS.mp4 McDonalds' Happy Meal.mp4 57026.mp4 Big_White_Titties_Fucking_BBC.mp4 Blonde_craves_that_BBC_ss3.mp4
  3. secondjag

    Umm

    After a tourist had been served in the Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said, "Miss, would y'all give me a piece of ass?""Lord, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl.Then she smiled and added, "Sure, why not? It's pretty slow here right now, so let's go!"When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, "Will there be anything else?""Yes," replied the tourist. "Where ah come from in Alabama, we lack our bourbon 'n watuh cold, so ah still need a piece uh ass for mah drink." There was a young Scot in Madrid Who got fifty-five lays for a quid. When they said, "Are you faint?" He replied, "No, I ain't, But I don't feel as good as I did." There was a young person named Willie Whose actions were what you'd call silly; He went to a ball Dressed in nothing at all Pretending to represent Chile
  4. secondjag

    Umm

    The Aussie, the Yank, and the Canadian were having a bullshit session on Caribbean cruise ship.The Aussie said, "In Australia we have sheep that are so big they take all day to be shorn."The Yank said, "That's nothing, in Texas our cattle are so big the steaks have to be turned with a fork lift."The Canadian said, "That's nothing, we have women with vaginas this big." He then stretched his hands so wide it'd do the biggest fish story justice."How do you screw them then?" asked the Yank."They stretch." A Rabbi from Peru Was vainly attempting to screw. His wife said "Oy vey, If you keep up this way The Messiah will come before you.” A carpenter living in Crewe, Who had nothing whatever to do, Once assisted a whore With the hinge of her door, But he made her pay for the screw.
  5. secondjag

    Umm

    A missionary realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives, was how to speak English, so he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and the missionary points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock." The missionary is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The missionary is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike." The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them. The missionary goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? The chief replies, "My bike." Why don't witches wear underwear?So they can get a better grip on the broom. A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!" "Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice... "Oh really, I can't," he replied, "My wife loves this beard!" The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed, and finally gave in. That night James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping. The wife was awakened somewhat, felt his face and replied, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
  6. the hook brings you in ( 10 vids) She's in Control.mp4 Creampie morning fun.mp4 bbc.mp4 cuckold cleanup time.mp4 170064977_CuckoldcleansmistressandBBC.mp4 1203448196_CuckoldcleaninghiswifeafterIRsex.mp4 Cuckold boyfriend supports his gal.mp4 994768663_cuckoldbitch.mp4 cuckold birthday.mp4 1171237897_cuckoldbigblackdick14.mp4
  7. secondjag

    Umm

    Penises come in five sizes: 1. Small 2. Medium 3. Large 4. Oh My God! 5. Is that available in white? "It's funny," says Samantha, "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm sucking his dick.""You know what?" replies Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard..."They turn to the third blonde and ask, "When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, too?""Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!""You're crazy," one of the blondes pipes up. "A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy. You should try it."She says she'll think about it. The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blowjob novice is sporting a wicked shiner."Whoa!" the first blonde asks. "How did you get that black eye?""Chris hit me when I was blowing him," she says."What on earth for?" the second blonde asks."I don't know," she replies. "All I did was tell him how strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as how Pete's and Richard's are so cold." An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, 'What kind of car ya got there, sonny?' The doctor replies, 'A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!’ ‘That's a lot of money,' says the old man. 'Why does it cost so much?' ‘Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!' states the doctor proudly. The Moped driver asks, 'Mind if I take a look inside?’ ‘No problem,' replies the doctor. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, 'That's a pretty nice car, all right... But I'll stick with my Moped!'Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 secondsthe speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH ! Something whips by him going much faster! ‘What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari ?' the doctor asks himself. He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph. He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do! Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.The doctor stops and jumps out and, unbelievably, the old man is still alive. He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, 'I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you?' The old man whispers,'Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!!!!’
  8. you know Peter, I have often heard women say they regret waiting so long
  9. sweet Why choose? She can have them all
  10. I'm shakin it boss (11 vids) 1 breakfast.mp4 QoS Cougar.mp4 Take It All.webm 1 morning fun (1).mp4 1 girl playing8.mp4 1 girl2.mp4 1 smokey.mp4 Mijona(xl).mpg HIJAR xxx (AH).mp4 c7328.mp4 Daddys girl VID-20230502-WA0182.mp4
  11. Great post Dober
  12. Fanfuckintastic Gunner. Thanks Could totally see that happening Peter
  13. Glad u dug it Peter. Plenty to go around. You're killing me Dobe. 🤣
  14. glad u dug it Sean, Dirty. i forget to update on this string a lot.
  15. secondjag

    Umm

    An infamous womanizer with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought that the man looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong."I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied. "Some ticked-off husband wrote to me, and said he would kill me if I didn't stop messing around with his wife.""So stop," the barkeep said."I can't," the womanizer replied, taking a long swill. "That inconsiderate bastard didn't sign his name!"
  16. secondjag

    Umm

    There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed about spending holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea; each time they had sex, he would put a $20 bill into a piggy bank.They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year.After that time, they decided that there was enough money for their dream vacation and broke the piggy bank.The husband looked at their savings and said: "Isn't it strange. Each time we had sex, I put a $20 bill into the piggy. But I see tons of $50 bills, and a few $100 bills."The wife replied, "Do you think that everybody is as stingy as you are?" Two doctors were jogging down a wood path, each arguing as to who was the better doctor. The 1st claimed he was better, then the 2nd. This went on for 30 minutes or so! Finally the 1st doctor said to the 2nd, "If you are so good, then prove it." The 2nd doctor said "ok I will." The 2nd doctor looked around, up and down and saw an owl sitting up in an old oak tree. He said "see that owl", the 1st replied "yes", "I'll give that owl a tonsillectomy in 10 minutes" said the 2nd doctor. The 1st doctor encouraged him to try. The clock started ticking, he reached up in the oak tree and grabbed the owl. With a "clip", "snip", and "clip" - the 2nd doctor was done. He proceeded to say, "9 minutes and 15 seconds later, I'm through - beat that!" The 1st doctor then stated that he could beat the 2nd doctor by performing a vasectomy in 5 minutes. He asked the 2nd if he successfully completed the vasectomy in 5 minutes would he be the better of the two doctors. To that the doctored replied "yes." The clock started ticking, he reached up in the oak tree and grabbed the same owl. With a "clip", "snip", "cut", "bang", "stitch", and "clip" - the 1st doctor was done. He completed his operation in a record 3 minutes and 35 seconds. Both doctors went on jogging down the path happy and content as to whom was the better of the two doctors. The next day the Mr. Owl and Mrs. Owl were flying along when Mrs. Owl stated, "I'm tired, lets land and rest a while."Mr. Owl said "ok!" Mrs. Owl looked around and saw (with her keen vision) a wonderful old oak tree to perch on, see stated, "lets land over there on the old oak tree." Mr. Owl looked around and saw the oak tree, only to proclaim, "I'M NOT LANDING THERE." Mrs. owl said "why not," Mr. Owl again proclaimed, "I'M NOT LANDING THERE." This went on for some time! Mrs. Owl said, "tell me why you don't want to land there or we're going to!" Mr. Owl said; "Well, ever since I landed in that old oak tree yesterday, I can't hoot worth a fuck or fuck worth a hoot!" A mother wanted so much to be a part of her teenage children's group. She worked hard at learning all the styles the young mothers wore and all foods the children like to eat. She always tried to look young and spiffy and to have an abundant supply of snacks when the gang dropped by. She even learned how to talk "young," learning all the buzz words and hip sayings. One day all this came to a screeching halt when, after serving the right snacks, she heard herself say to a room full of hormone dripping teenagers, "If anyone want secs, just let me know. I'll be in the kitchen getting it ready."
  17. secondjag

    Umm

    I was halfway through a meeting with a photocopy salesman, when he suddenly mentioned his wife and children, and how content and happy he was. I was puzzled, but let him continue. It was only when I glanced down that I understood his reason for imparting this personal information: The table leg against which I had been rubbing my itchy foot wasn’t a table leg at all. Paddy decides to go rabbit hunting, but when he gets to his favorite field he sees the village priest is already there. Paddy watches with fascination as the priest holds his finger over a rabbit hole and immediately a rabbit pops out. The priest grabs it and puts it into a sack. He repeats this unusual but very successful technique until his sack is full of rabbits. Paddy stops the priest and asks him how he does it. "Easy," says the priest. "Put your finger on your wife's pussy and then hold it over a rabbit hole. They can't resist the smell, so when they come out, grab them." Paddy rushes home to find Maureen bent over scrubbing the floor. He lifts up her skirt and applies his finger as directed. Without looking up, Maureen giggles, "Holy Moses, Father! Rabbit hunting again?"
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