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secondjag

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Everything posted by secondjag

  1. hey Dobe, watch your numbers. I'm curious if you are getting fucked the same way I am. annoying as fuck
  2. secondjag

    Umm

    A man walks into a bar. He sees a good-looking, smartly dressed woman sitting on the bar stool. He walks up behind her and says, "Hi there, how's it going?" Having already had a few drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "Listen! I'll fuck anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter." He says, "No kidding! I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with? A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone.The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?"The wife replies, "It's my husband -- he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!""How does he drive you crazy?""For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?""He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!""Hmm, anything else?"The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!""Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now."So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy. She might even leave you."The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be the problem?"The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public--looking at the floor and never going near anyone else."The husband looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said.""What did he say?""He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!"The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry."The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. Okay."The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public.""Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean."The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity.""Oh," says the husband looking very stupid."And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking.""This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing.""What did he say?"The husband replies, "In his dying breath, he said, 'Don't screw up!'"
  3. Hmmm (7 vids) Selfshot Mast Whatsapp Video 2018-05-05 At 14.15.00.mp4 1526686809_BridgetteBlack.mp4.mp4 1977309051_MARRIEDSLUTRIDINGDADDYAGAIN...EYESROLLEDBACK_xhiUJjK.mp4 306631058_branquinhanaquicadanervosanonegodotadoHB(1).mp4 VID-20221028-WA0328.mp4 L Lick.mp4 Airplane.mp4
  4. secondjag

    Umm

    A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.She puts them on, together with a short skirt, and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs enough times that her husband finally asks, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?""Y-e-s" she answers with a seductive smile."Thank God. I was afraid you were sitting on the cat." The bank robbers arrived just before closing and promptly ordered the few remaining depositors, the tellers, clerks, and guards to disrobe and lie face down on the floor, behind the counter. One nervous blonde pulled off all her clothes and lay down on the floor facing upwards. "Turn over, Cindy," whispered the girl lying beside her. "This is a stick-up, not an office party!" I got the ultimate rejection today. I was masturbating, and my hand fell asleep. Q: What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't??A: A navel. Eli Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found his wife Fanny in bed, having sex with another man. He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have you got to be making love to my wife?" The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am in love with Fanny, and I would like to marry her. I understand you're a gambler. Why don't you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce her... Okay?" "Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little more interesting, why don't we also play for a dollar a point?"
  5. a few before I go out ( 3 vids) DáAguaNaBoca(ax).mp4 1890330475_branquinhanaquicadanervosanonegodotadoHB.mp4 538358467_DopeManCoversZadewithLoad.mp4
  6. secondjag

    Umm

    Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night, when Fred, out of the blue, announces that he's going to divorce his wife."Good grief" says Jim, "You and Sue are the happiest couple I know, Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years of obvious bliss?""Well" replies Fred, "Truth be known I'm just bored with pokin' the same hole night after night after night. I guess I'm hankerin' for a bit of variety."Jim: "Well if you want variety, why don't you just, you know, turn her over every now and again?"Fred: "What - and have a house full of kids??!" A Californian doctor examining a young blonde woman with abdominal pains asked her if she was sexually active. She said that she wasn't. A later examination showed that, indeed, she was pregnant. Asked why she said that she was not sexually active, the blonde replied, "I'm not, I just lie there!" When asked if she knew who the father was, with a puzzled look she replied, "No. Who?"
  7. soon Peter, soon
  8. secondjag

    Umm

    To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided to call on someone daily. One member was a young widow. Her husband, according to the index card, had died two years ago.After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in her arms.He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking for the widow Lafitte.""You've found her, Father," smiled the lady."Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over two years ago," he said glancing at the baby in her arms."That's correct Father, he surely did... but I didn't." Ole and Sven were fishing in the Michigan’s Upper Peninsula when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' he replied, and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.'Yiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. 'Vere dit yew git dat monster?''Vell,' replied Ole, I got it from my Genie.''You haff a Genie?' Sven asked.'Ya, shure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Ole.'Could I see him?'Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.Addressing the genie, Sven says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?''Yes, I will,' says the Genie.So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting for his million bucks.Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks... flying directly overhead.Over the roar of the million ducks, Sven yells at Ole, 'Yumpin' Yimminy, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'Ole answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat DA Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?" A airplane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, co-pilot, navigator and stewardess. He held a gun to the pilot's head and said, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill your brains all over the place." The pilot calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and says, "Look buddy, if you shoot me this plane will crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought about it, then held the gun to the co-pilot's head and said, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HIS brains all over the place." The co-pilot also calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, "Listen to me. The pilot's got a bad heart and he could keel over at the shock of my being killed. So, if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought about it for a moment and then held the gun to the navigator's head and repeated, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HIS brains all over the place." The navigator calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Those other two guys have no sense of direction. Without me they couldn't find their way out of a paper bag much less get this plane to Iraq. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought some more, shrugged and this time held the gun to the stewardess's head and demanded, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HER brains all over the place." No one says a word, but the stewardess leaned over and whispered something into the hijacker's ear. He turned beet red, dropped his gun, and ran out of the cockpit in a panic. The crew tracked down the hijacker, who was found cowering behind some crates in the hold, and tied him up. The pilot then asked the stewardess what she said that terrified the man so. "I told him, sir," she replied, "that if he killed me, he'd be the one who'd have to give you guys your blowjobs." A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag..." "Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!""Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money?" " Did you steal it?""Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium.Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!""So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!""Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?""Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up"....
  9. for sure, all that Peter. Becky is close and I can't wait until you update the deed is done
  10. one more for my girl. smile baby bnc_cult_jngwxmx_720p.mp4
  11. maybe this will hold ya Dober ( 3 vids) 445459817_watchagonnado.mp4 594239594_WifetakesBBCrawwhilehusbandrecords.mp4 jackin bbc.mp4
  12. secondjag

    Umm

    An American sailor on liberty visits one of those Japanese bath houses and pays for the deluxe treatment. So, three bath maids start working him over.First they dunk him in the hot water and lather him up good, then dunk him in the cold water and back in the hot water. They cleaned out his toenails and scrubbed his knees, elbows and behind his ears. Then again in the cold then hot tubs.He was feeling totally cleaned and refreshed when one maid asks, "Ah sooo, you want the wax job?"The sailor says, "Well I want everything I'm supposed to get since I paid for the deluxe."So the bath maid takes his manly parts and lays them out on a marble bench. While holding his pecker up, she then raises her right hand and with a 'Hi Yahhh' she karate chops his nuts... causing wax to shoot out both of his ears.
  13. forgot this one, smile Wild Thing AikaTenQ_BvbQ2Xx_720p.mp4
  14. secondjag

    Umm

    A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years.One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."Flustered, he said "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it."The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.On the card was written:"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without." The varsity girls track team coach just couldn't seem to win a meet. Six losses in a row. He decided it would be best if he put his girls on anabolic steroids. Soon his girls were performing like stars. They went undefeated for the rest of the year. They won State and were on their way to the Nationals. On the bus trip, Sally, the star sprinter struck a conversation with the coach. Sally: "Coach, I have a problem!" Coach: "What's that Sally?" Sally: I'm developing thick hair on my body!" Coach: What part of your body?" Sally: My chest, coach." Coach: "How far does the hair go down, Sally?" Sally: "Well coach, it goes clear down to my nuts, which is another thing I wanted to speak with you about!"
  15. Stay strong Wild Thing. You are loved. (4 vids) Been a while, here's a load for you (1).mp4 1154541327_Whatsappselfshot2022-10-24.mp4 00 Doreth love his huge black cock.mp4 18907479_CUCK-mancreampiesmeinfrontofmycuckoldhubbyonafertiledaycummingdeepinsideme.mp4
  16. Ok, listen. Jackpot time again - too many for one post. Also for my sweet angel Wild Thing who is in my thoughts today. Keep the sound on and like 'em all. Post 3 of 3 (14 vids) Halloween BJ.mp4 1974335469_Creampie-CuckoldHusbandLikesToFilmHisSexyWifeFuckingBBC.mp4 aahetbbc7.mp4 Babe.mp4 aahetbbc2.mp4 2028235415_ElisaSanchescomdoisnomotelHB.mp4 Delirium.mp4 DP.mp4 ddd8a2ff-bfe9-45f0-a2fc-0bd87f63820b.MP4 comendo-a-galega-.mp4 647548769_BuenosdiasdeDomingo2.mp4 383545055_branquinhanaquicadanervosanonegodotadoHB.mp4 21828312_MeuamigoDanielcomeuminhaesposa.mp4 1086549515_Marceleficoumamandocomvontade.mp4
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