Kaktuscpl

On 3/29/2022 at 3:43 AM, rita_dwt said:

thank you very much- for all your good work to support us with stuff to see how real it can be. and to remember us to get to hear every detail of the deed too-to get that i mostly use earphones 🙂 to get it right on/in them ears and i hope you will have a big screen again - they are best to be seen on one like that- thank you and i hope you will go on do he good deed:-)

I couldn't agree more......Thank You JAG

1 minute ago, Lilcockee said:

Dude....no disrespect .....but at 1st glance I thought it was a nipple 

15 hours ago, secondjag said:

so sorry, doesn't look like there will be any posts today;  major computer issues.  I'm not a tech guy so the guessing game continues.  see ya soon I hope

DAMN  ..I hope you figure it out/get it fixed soon 

10 hours ago, secondjag said:

A very loud, unattractive, and mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, madame, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. They must be twins, right?"

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't no fuckin’ twins! The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind, nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe someone would want to fuck you twice. Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."

Ok, no apologies for the political stuff.  Feel free to add opposing stuff.  As long as it's funny.

 

I  fucking love Carlin.....LMAO

2 hours ago, secondjag said:

Difficult for me to comment just now as I'm having major computer issues

RUT ROH,RAGGY

8 hours ago, Naughty Nicki said:

Now see... didn’t #2 look so much better with a little help.   😎😎😎

5 minutes ago, secondjag said:

hmm, so are you offering a little help????????

If that's the case......I CALL NEXT......LMAO

5 minutes ago, secondjag said:

oh fuck yeah.  not much i wouldn't do to devour that woman.  don't forget her in the Bond film as "Jinx"

oh yeah,,,and  topless in "Swordfish"

Monsters Ball  ...Billy Bob and Hale Berry's sex scene ...I kinda think they were really fucking LOL

OK ..how a bout Salma Hayak as a vampire..can't remember the name 

15 hours ago, Naughty Nicki said:

Gone in 60 seconds, hands down the hottest scene when they are sitting in the driveway.  🔥

DAMNIT.....BEAT ME TO IT 

5 minutes ago, secondjag said:

ok, let's see what won't post today, ugh  ( 5 vids)

 

IR - Doggy black cock style.flv

HOLY SHIT.......SUPER FUCKING HOT

10 minutes ago, secondjag said:

A doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.

As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren't that good in bed either!"

By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home.

After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"

"I was in bed."

"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"

"Getting a second opinion"

Q: What is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons?
A: You can also sit upright in a car.

 

LOL I want that shirt  😛

5 hours ago, secondjag said:

LMAO   the "grow light"

4 hours ago, secondjag said:

The learned judge looked down from the bench at the young woman who was suing her husband for divorce.
"Your Honor," the young woman said, "I just can't live with my husband anymore. He's a hobosexual."
"Just one moment," interrupted the judge, considerably confused. "Don't you mean homosexual?"
"No, your Honor," insisted the woman. "I mean hobosexual. He's a bum lay!"

Little Johnny hears the word whorehouse in school and asks his father what it means. His father is quite shocked, and replies, "Well, uh, you go there to, uh, have a good time."
Little Johnny starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go there, too, but his father insists that he's too young.
Saturday night rolls around. Little Johnny's dad and a few of his friends head out to Mable's ("Liquor In The Front, Poker In The Rear! -- Our Customers Come First!), for a "good time."
Naturally, Little Johnny tags along secretly.
After his dad and his dad's friends have come and gone, Little Johnny knocks on the door.
The Madame opens the door. "Yes?" she asks.
"I'm here to have a good time!"
The Madame is a little puzzled, but being a kind-hearted soul, invites Little Johnny inside. She gives him three donuts and then bids him goodbye.
When he gets home, his dad is frantic. "Where have you been?"
"I went to a WHOREHOUSE!" Little Johnny proudly boasted!
Little Johnny's dad blanched. "Uhh, you did? Umm, how was it?"
"Well, I managed the first two without any problem, but I was only able to lick the third one!"

 

A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.

The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was going to perform the operation and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"
The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"
The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"

 

"HOBOSEXUAL"........LMAO

2 hours ago, secondjag said:

enjoy

 

Giggity Giggity

2 hours ago, secondjag said:

I do, but honestly some of this stuff is even too big for email

WOW

1 hour ago, secondjag said:

nice stuff Peter, thanks for sharing

 

 

wow some great stuff there/here

10 hours ago, secondjag said:

Ok, let's do the damn thing!  (5 vids) Hey, I have some VERY good long vids that are too big for here.  If anybody knows of a free, easy to use, program to cut them in half, let me know

 

Bro....you have my email  ....LOL

6 hours ago, Peter C said:

I love all those photos of big black cocks. Maybe I'll forward them to my girlfriend Becky, see if she likes them as much as me, though I think this one in particular would scare her as she's quite petite and she'd wonder how she could take anything that size.

HOLY SHIT.......is that fucking thing  real?  And if it is .......Does it come with a warning label 

24 minutes ago, secondjag said:

Alright Kak, try this on for size

Abe went to a brothel and told the madam, "I want a girl with big boobs and a small box."
"Why?" she asked him.
"Never mind!" replied Abe. "I’m paying for it. I want a girl with big tits and a small box!"
"No problem," said the madam. "Go straight up the stairs to room 23."
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door, and a young woman walked in.
"Okay," she said, "are you the guy with the big mouth and the small pecker?"

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night, the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night.
She looked at her husband and said, "Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up at her and said, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She said, "That's right.  Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I still remember."
"Well, what was it?" she asked.
He responded, "As I remember, I said, 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big boobs and screw your brains out'..."
She giggled and said, "Yes honey, that's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"
Again he looked up at her, and replied, "Mission accomplished." 

 

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed, and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, "What time of night to be getting home is this Where have you been? Dinner is cold, and I'm not reheating it." And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.

To which he whirled around and screamed, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP!?"

 

LMAO ......."Not hanging Wright tonight".......PRICELESS

On 2/27/2022 at 11:48 AM, secondjag said:

Sue and Sally meet up at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation.
They begin to talk and bring each other up to date.
The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc, and finally gets around to their sex lives.
Sue says, "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?"
Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M."
Sue is aghast. "Really Sally, I never would have guessed that you would go for that."
"Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."

Back in the Good Old Days, when Dudley Fudpucker was whooping it up in college, he was standing at a bar one evening, when a lady of enticing appearance approached him and suggested that they have a drink.

Dudley said, "Well, I'm no John D. Rockefeller, but I'll buy."

After developing a slight buzz, she suggested a dance. Dudley smiled and said, "I'm no Fred Astaire, but I'll give it a whirl."

Later, she suggested that they go up to her room. "I'm no Cary Grant," replied Dudley, "but I'll follow you up there."

They left and went to the lady's apartment. They had another drink, then did what had been on their minds all evening, anyway.

Afterward, the lady says, "What about some money?"

Dudley shot back, "Well, I'm no gigolo, but I'll take it!"

 

LOL    that's some funny shit right there

1 hour ago, Naughty Nicki said:

Anyone want to guess how my weekend went 😉😇😈

I'm guessing you had a "playdate"....Fun,fun,fun,

4 hours ago, secondjag said:

wow!  never caught it

I missed it at first LOL

9 hours ago, secondjag said:

wow kak, can't remember the last time I've even heard "Atom Ant."

 

Atom Ant from the Jetsons,I think