My friends quandary

[Playtime Chicago]

One of my buddies has always been into the hot wife lifestyle even though his wife has been not so much . Before they got married we all got pretty drunk one night and he pretended to sleep and she came in to me and I have her a good shagging while he laid on the couch with one eye open . That was 25 years ago . He told me that their sex life was boring as hell after they got married . She wouldn't do anything freaky at all . Well last year my buddy had some health problems and long story short his equipment doesn't work so well anymore . After years of my friend trying to get his wife to hot wife with him now she is only doing it because his stuff doesn't work . She never even told him ,he just confronted her one night when some young dude dropped her off and she had spunk in her hair. He feels bad about it because he was always ok with it but now he feels betrayed because she is only fuckingr guys because of his inability to service her anymore. Does anyone else understand or relate to this ? What can I say to him ? She still doesn't let him watch or partake which is killing him and he is contemplating divorce despite their 6 kids together . 

[secondjag]

sounds like a heart attack looking for a place to happen.

Short of divorce, he is going to have to communicate with her.  Either just the two of them, or with the help of a good therapist.  Surely if he was good with it before, he should welcome it now especially in light of his issues.  If he feels there can be no reconciliation, he needs to protect his assets.

[whips]

As secondjag posted, this is beyond the usual cuck fantasy stuff.  Seems like a total communication breakdown over the years.  Why would he feel betrayed now just because his 'stuff; does not work?  If he had a real cuck attitude, this would have always been about her to begin, maybe he should start there.  Watching or not is totally up to her, again this is about her satisfaction, not his.  What it comes down to is pretty simple, either he can accept this, try and be a part by supporting her, building the relationship in openness through communication, just keep things the way they are and likely the marriage will dissolve through bitterness, or get things in order, consult a lawyer and protect himself (and ultimately her) and separate.

The only thing you can really say to him is 'what are you looking for?".  He wanted this for years, now has it, but because it is not in his control he wants to take his ball and go home.  A wife just does not go out and cheat because his cock quit working, the problems stem far deeper, those issues need resolved.  Only he (and his wife) can determine what direction they want this to go,  If both feel like the marriage is worth saving, her 'cheating' should really not be the issue as he wanted this for years.  There may have to be boundaries for it to work in the marriage, and only those can be agreed upon if both parties are in communication.  The longer it goes the worse it will get.

[Rocker4424]

Get legal advise from a reputable divorce attorney before anything.  It may not come to that, but if it does, you'll have the knowledge in your back pocket, and be better to guide you to the next step.  Remember, marriage is a lot like sex, it's always better when the man is protected.  Just my $.02..

[eater]

it's sad that she is doing this secretly when he would give his approval if she was just open about it.  if she can't be open with him their relationship is definitely in trouble.  she might be afraid that he won't accept her behavior.  is there something he could do that would show her that he supports her extramarital activity?  or maybe she just isn't into the lifestyle and is looking for a way out?

[captainblack]

Many women do not want to be watched by their husbands.  Of the several hotwives I have had over the years only one wanted her husband to watch, and that was just a one off after I had been talking to them for about a year.  I think they were just checking it out.

My first hotwife used to like to us to both meet her husband for brunch the morning after she spent the night.  She made sure to have a fresh morning load in her before we went to meet him.  I expect they played after brunch.

Others hotwives have had me speak to their husbands before and after we were done, but the majority I have been with simply told their husband they were going out with their friend and left it at that.

If she does not want him to watch then he just needs to get over it.  She may be feeling guilty about it, and begging to watch is not going to help.  He should work on being close to her, loving and supportive in non-sexual ways, and maybe suggest to her that she let him practice his oral skills on her on a regular basis.