[Advice Needed] Cuckold Might Be Destroyed The Chances Of A Relationship

[SoImthatgirl]

,,,

[wannabecreampielicker]

You didn't do anything wrong!  You tried to meet him and his sexual desires and he is the one that wasn't ready for what he wanted... classic case of "Watch out for what you wish for... you might just get it"

 

If you still care for him, continue to offer to talk... it is the medicine needed for getting to the bottom of things.  He is most likely a sexual addict, like many of us, that has trouble controling his sexual desires (obviously as they just blew up in both of your faces) and as the other saying goes... someone is thinking with the little head.  (Or in the case of a cuckold, the VERY tiny head, HA, sorry, couldn't pass that up)

 

It is good you are looking for help... and as mentioned, talking is the solution, talking with him, if he will participate, or others that will offer non-biased opinions.

 

If you were having fun with the whole cuckolding thing, maybe add that to your lists of things you look for in a person but IMHO, cuckolding is going to, on average cause a lot more problems relation-ally than it will ever solve.  It is a very aggressive form of sexuality, abnormal to over 99% I am sure.

 

One thing is for sure... he has sexual issues that are clearly not under his own control... and sexual issues/addiction are one of the most difficult in the world to deal with due to social stigma/taboo/embarrassment in dealing with them.  You need to keep this firmly understood (Like do some serious studying on sexual addiction and codependency) should you consider continuing on with this person in a relationship.  Also... people tend to unknowingly attract the same type of people not knowing they are doing it.  This might be a good time to decide as to what you find important in a relationship and then set written attainable goals in pursuing them... and stick to them.  Don't find someone to fix... find someone that complments everything good there is about you.

 

Good luck and hang in there

[SoImthatgirl]

I still care for him, but how can I keep offering to talk? He said he was scared that I kept trying talking to him during our call earlier. I don't want him to think I'm some kind of weirdo stalker, Idk how to keep in contact with him, but I certainly wanted to. 

Also I don't want him to think I'm more attached, than I really am. I mean I do like him, but it'd be a lie if I say I love him, or anything, I care about him and didn't want it to end, but somehow he is now thinking that I'm "extremely attached", and like him more than I do. I guess I'm just super confused with it, because it was all out of blue, but he is taking it as I was super attached.

I wish I knew how to talk to him, I'm now ashamed of kept trying, I felt like a silly little teen when he asked why I kept trying (and said the reason why he didn't want to see me).

I've never thought about considering that he might be addicted to it, but I know by now that he is ashamed of his fetishes, and as much as he wants it, he feels guilty about it. So how do I treat someone like that? That was a good insight, I'll read more about it.

I was enjoying the cuckold thing, but I'd be totally ok if it was only us, to me it has never been a must, it was more a thrill, something that was nice for both of us. If I knew he felt that way, I'd have never accepted. Now, idk if I'd do it again, due all the trouble, but I did like it.

 

He's actually the first guy with this kind of problem I've always being with, all my former relationships were completely conventional, and also pretty traditional. I've never experimented anything like this, which might also be one of the reason why I like him, I liked that he'd never (at least till today) judge me, this feeling of freedom was awesome. 

But after several hours after the call, even though I like him, I'm starting to have second thoughts about it. I mean I didn't deserve the treatment he gave me, so I'll consider thinking if I should be with him, as you said, and also having a long and honest convo with him about expectations. 

 

Thank you a lot for the attention and kindness. 

[wannabecreampielicker]

 

I still care for him, but how can I keep offering to talk? He said he was scared that I kept trying talking to him during our call earlier. I don't want him to think I'm some kind of weirdo stalker, Idk how to keep in contact with him, but I certainly wanted to. 

Also I don't want him to think I'm more attached, than I really am. I mean I do like him, but it'd be a lie if I say I love him, or anything, I care about him and didn't want it to end, but somehow he is now thinking that I'm "extremely attached", and like him more than I do. I guess I'm just super confused with it, because it was all out of blue, but he is taking it as I was super attached.

I wish I knew how to talk to him, I'm now ashamed of kept trying, I felt like a silly little teen when he asked why I kept trying (and said the reason why he didn't want to see me).

I've never thought about considering that he might be addicted to it, but I know by now that he is ashamed of his fetishes, and as much as he wants it, he feels guilty about it. So how do I treat someone like that? That was a good insight, I'll read more about it.

I was enjoying the cuckold thing, but I'd be totally ok if it was only us, to me it has never been a must, it was more a thrill, something that was nice for both of us. If I knew he felt that way, I'd have never accepted. Now, idk if I'd do it again, due all the trouble, but I did like it.

 

He's actually the first guy with this kind of problem I've always being with, all my former relationships were completely conventional, and also pretty traditional. I've never experimented anything like this, which might also be one of the reason why I like him, I liked that he'd never (at least till today) judge me, this feeling of freedom was awesome. 

But after several hours after the call, even though I like him, I'm starting to have second thoughts about it. I mean I didn't deserve the treatment he gave me, so I'll consider thinking if I should be with him, as you said, and also having a long and honest convo with him about expectations. 

 

Thank you a lot for the attention and kindness. 

 

So glad if I was any help.

 

I see you moving toward your own awareness of what your personal boundaries are and that they are starting to be a little beat up.  Getting straight on what is important to you, including how much of what you are willing to put up with in a relationship is half the battle... the other half is sticking to it and finding someone with the same shared values.

 

Ha... around here you are like gold... a women that wants to be loyal and loving wife/life companion and wants to be a hot slut and get fucked a lot (sorry... but that is the very little useless head talking/describing the way we like to think of it as) is a very hot item... you could put out some companion ads and find a bunch of guys that would want to give it a try with you... heck, want to fuel hundreds of fantasies?  Describe yourself and let us know, in detail how much you love getting slutty... heck, send a picture and you will have guys all over the world stroking to you  :-)

 

I wish my wife would be willing to cuckold me but she has a very strong Christian faith... we have discussed it and she is not willing to do it.  I love her completely and totally respect her boundary and have told her I will stop bringing it up (she is not even comfortable with me openly fantasizing about it)  As you can probably tell, yes, I am pretty sprung on the "Lifestyle" and want to be part of it... I have a really small dick, most times I have ED, and if someone is into a curvy older woman... she is SMOKING HOT and would love to see her get loads of sexual satisfaction from other men.  It just isn't going to happen for me.

 

BUT HERE IS THE THING... we talk!  I have described my high drive for sex in our lives, all things considered, and we have worked out what is OK and not in our relationship including the Faith issue.

 

There are some great resources on cuckolding sites about "Getting started" "What it takes" "Are you really ready for this?" (What your man should have read!) and others.  Read up on as much as you can... throw some internet ads on Craigslist or in these forums and describe your self, HONESTLY and then find someone that fits the bill with shared values... just because you want to have a monogamous relationship with a "husband" including children and a home and planning for the long term future doesn't mean it has to stop you from being a slut (I love that word in the most positive way) and... if the whole thing is based on good healthy communication and plenty of time getting to know one another before getting serious, you will build a healthy relationship.  Put out there that you want the relationship first and am only interested in the Hot Wife life if it is mutual.  Never know what you will find... maybe being a swinger will work... whatever, won't know until you try.

 

Now... if you take all of what we have talked about here, and write a nice long well thought out letter to your current BF... it should do one of two things.  You might actually get through to him since he can read it at his own pace and not feel like he is in an argument... or it just might be a good solid way to create closure... tell him...this is me, if you want to be part of me, please call or write, if not, let me know or, I will accept your silence as your way of saying goodbye.

 

So... now that I have written all of this, I feel a little close right now and wish I knew more about your desires... we do love to hear about a woman getting her grove on and being satisfied around here... if it sounds fun, share!  (always the horny little bastard)

[CuckoldFart]

Topic moved to "Cuckold Talks"