Advice for new plz

[arrowheadwaterj]

heyy guys, we r a fairly young couple, late 20's. i have expressed for a couple years now how much i want her to be open and flirt, dance, etc with other guys. she doesnt have the most confidence and doesnt think other guys are interested in her. what r some of the best ways to get her interested in doing stuff with other guys? also, shes been approached while we have been out but then they get scared away because i am there. i wanted to try to drop a hint that i wanted them to stay but didnt know how to say it without her knowingg.

[RobJohnson]

A few things here, firstly its about her looking good and feeling good that will give her the confidence to be open and flirt. Buy her new clothes and underwear so she goes to the bars etc feeling a million dollars, just make sure she is feeling great and looks great and the guys will come.

Secondly, just make sure you are involved as little as possible when the guys come over. A good bull won’t want to talk to you, he will see your wife as a target, will want to lure her in, and you chipping in won’t help him.

You don’t need to say anything, be more submissive and both the potential bull and your wife will see they are in control of the situation and you are not and let it take it’s course.

Then if you go to the bar etc, they may have more deep conversations about what they want to do, and if you have been submissive they will see that the possibility of him having her is real.

If you are involved you will be a barrier, and if he wants her, you are the last person he wants to talk too, it’s your wife he wants not you.

So get her feeling confident, and play less of a role yourself. It’s not about you, this is about your wife so keep out of it as much as possible to let things happen.

Maybe also strong enough characters have not approached yet. A good strong bull will keep on after his target until he has her, and if your wife shows the right signals to him, there is no way he will not have her.

I have had loads of instances where strong guys have approached my wife. This was despite me not wanting anything to happen between them and her. But once they see the signs that she wants them, and they want her, they find a way. It may not be that night, but numbers might have been exchanged, or they have arranged to be in the same bar the next week etc. 

Once a bull has decided to have her, and she has given him the green light, I just knew I was unable to stop anything happening, despite me wanting too. 

[arrowheadwaterj]

this is great. thannk u for the help. i have been buying panties and clothes. just have to sit back more and let it happenn like u said.

thankks

[RobJohnson]

1 hour ago, arrowheadwaterj said:

this is great. thannk u for the help. i have been buying panties and clothes. just have to sit back more and let it happenn like u said.

thankks

The big thing I was taught was the words “ I don’t matter”

You can sometimes get involved when really it is just nothing to do with you,, and nor should it be.

Your job is to help her feel good and look good in the first place, then after that it’s up to the bull and your wife to find their own path.

The important thing is that they are left alone, they are the important ones, and you are not important.

Your wife will then have a clear mind to focus on what she needs too. The last thing she wants is to be thinking of you, so the less you are involved the better.

Then once she has cemented the relationship with her bull, then she will decide what involvement (if any) that you have.

She may want you to be there, she may not? She may want to tell you everything, she may not? She may want you to clean her up afterwards, she may not?

But the important thing is you gave her the space to have her lovers, to focus on them without any worries from you, and if she can do that, you have done your job well.

This is just how I was taught, others will think differently, everyone has a different situation, but I understood this and mentally it helped me. I felt by being more submissive, it took pressure away from her thinking about me, and it helped her progress with lovers.  

[DomBull4U]

Once again RobJohnson makes some good points and provides some good insight into the mind of a cuck husband.

There is one thing I have to disagree with however...the idea that the cuck husband does not matter. In my opinion, the cuck husband definitely does matter. Now he may not have much control of the situation...once the wife and her bull have established a firm, solid relationship.

Using the phrase "I don't matter" may be a good technique for a husband to use when trying to come to grips with being in a cuckold relationship. It definitely seems to be working for RobJohnson...and I say...whatever works...go with it. To my way of thinking, a cuckold relationship...a good one...is like a three-legged stool. The wife, the bull, and the cuckold husband each being one of the legs. Obviously all three legs are needed for the stool to function properly. If any one leg is missing, the stool becomes useless and unusable.

The transformation of a marriage into a cuckold marriage is tricky to say the least. Tricky and confusing. The couple will be on a roller coaster ride of emotions that is hard to describe...hard to imagine. I think the wife especially will be experiencing this range of emotions and may be in for the wildest ride on that roller coaster. It may be just my opinion, but I think the transformation goes best when a husband provides a solid base from which his wife can venture out...and ease into the cuckold relationship. For the wife to become the totally free, sexual "slut" for her bull...it's important that she knows she has a loving, husband supporting her in this new lifestyle. So to me, the husband plays an important role.

It's really just a different way of looking at the points RobJohnson made.

He mentioned the husband....making sure the wife felt and looked good for her bull. Excellent point...from Rob's perspective that means "I don't matter".  But looked at from the wife's perspective and the bulls...that makes hubby's job important.

The point that Rob brings up that is especially notable and very worthwhile is the one he makes about the wife having a clear mind so she can focus on what she needs to. Yes, yes, yes. Definitely. The wife is really going to be living a double life. These two lives...these two worlds...are best kept apart...not bleeding into one another. When she becomes the plaything for her bull...she shouldn't be thinking of fixing dinner, or carpools, or PTA meeting, etc...those "real" word thoughts. Those thoughts and realities are what probably led to the exploration of the cuck lifestyle in the first place. She needs her mind to at ease....free and clear...thinking only of her pleasure...and pleasing her bull. Again, to me...it's important that she knows she has a loving, supportive husband that "has her back"...so she can completely relax and unwind.

Even sexually...I don't think we can say the cuckold husband doesn't matter. When a married woman crosses that line...it's important again that she have a loving and supportive husband at home....waiting for his wife to return. Waiting to welcome her back into her "real" world. Wait to tell her everything is ok in her real world. Waiting...not with a look of disgust...or a questioning "where have you been?" attitude. But waiting...waiting for her with maybe a nice warm hug...and what they share after that becomes personal preference. (just asRobJohnson mentions).

I'm not really disagreeing with RobJohnson...but just wanted to look at it from a different angle.

DomBull4U 

 

 

 

[arrowheadwaterj]

i have learned a lot from u guys. thank u. it makes a lot more sense. now just have to start applying that strategy

[RobJohnson]

15 hours ago, DomBull4U said:

Once again RobJohnson makes some good points and provides some good insight into the mind of a cuck husband.

There is one thing I have to disagree with however...the idea that the cuck husband does not matter. In my opinion, the cuck husband definitely does matter. Now he may not have much control of the situation...once the wife and her bull have established a firm, solid relationship.

Using the phrase "I don't matter" may be a good technique for a husband to use when trying to come to grips with being in a cuckold relationship. It definitely seems to be working for RobJohnson...and I say...whatever works...go with it. To my way of thinking, a cuckold relationship...a good one...is like a three-legged stool. The wife, the bull, and the cuckold husband each being one of the legs. Obviously all three legs are needed for the stool to function properly. If any one leg is missing, the stool becomes useless and unusable.

The transformation of a marriage into a cuckold marriage is tricky to say the least. Tricky and confusing. The couple will be on a roller coaster ride of emotions that is hard to describe...hard to imagine. I think the wife especially will be experiencing this range of emotions and may be in for the wildest ride on that roller coaster. It may be just my opinion, but I think the transformation goes best when a husband provides a solid base from which his wife can venture out...and ease into the cuckold relationship. For the wife to become the totally free, sexual "slut" for her bull...it's important that she knows she has a loving, husband supporting her in this new lifestyle. So to me, the husband plays an important role.

It's really just a different way of looking at the points RobJohnson made.

He mentioned the husband....making sure the wife felt and looked good for her bull. Excellent point...from Rob's perspective that means "I don't matter".  But looked at from the wife's perspective and the bulls...that makes hubby's job important.

The point that Rob brings up that is especially notable and very worthwhile is the one he makes about the wife having a clear mind so she can focus on what she needs to. Yes, yes, yes. Definitely. The wife is really going to be living a double life. These two lives...these two worlds...are best kept apart...not bleeding into one another. When she becomes the plaything for her bull...she shouldn't be thinking of fixing dinner, or carpools, or PTA meeting, etc...those "real" word thoughts. Those thoughts and realities are what probably led to the exploration of the cuck lifestyle in the first place. She needs her mind to at ease....free and clear...thinking only of her pleasure...and pleasing her bull. Again, to me...it's important that she knows she has a loving, supportive husband that "has her back"...so she can completely relax and unwind.

Even sexually...I don't think we can say the cuckold husband doesn't matter. When a married woman crosses that line...it's important again that she have a loving and supportive husband at home....waiting for his wife to return. Waiting to welcome her back into her "real" world. Wait to tell her everything is ok in her real world. Waiting...not with a look of disgust...or a questioning "where have you been?" attitude. But waiting...waiting for her with maybe a nice warm hug...and what they share after that becomes personal preference. (just asRobJohnson mentions).

I'm not really disagreeing with RobJohnson...but just wanted to look at it from a different angle.

DomBull4U 

 

 

 

The strategy of “I don’t matter” just works for me, as sometimes if you are unsure of things going ahead, thinking that your wife is the important one and that I am not is how I play it in my head.

I also think being in the background completely makes it easier for the bull, as it ensures you are not a barrier.

Everyone has different situations, and I play it this way as often I get unsure of it all, so to use those words “I don’t matter” gives me comfort and ensures I take a back seat. 

Everyone is different, and everyone needs a different technique to get to that important goal of ensuring your wife gets fucked. 

I suppose also Dombull4u, and this would give you another insight into my mind, if you were to approach my wife, you would find me quiet, and submissive. I would not be wanting you to have her, but I understand how she is and how you can’t really stop her, so I would be quiet, let it take it’s cause and see where it ended up. 

I was taught that you can never stop these things happening if you have a wife who loves cock. So rather than fight it, just let it run its course and see how it develops. 

For me, my pleasure is the fact that I have helped her get ready, I have made her feel good and I haven’t suffered by trying to stop anything. I have been mentally strong in being submissive and helping things along.

Then when she is out with him, that wonderful mixed feeling kicks in that she maybe having him, and I have assisted in it in some small way to ensure they are both comfortable.

Intersting reading your thoughts Dombull4u, but if our paths crossed, you wouldn’t find me discussing anything with you, I would just leave you to her so you can both do as you please. 

[Deviantdad22]

On 3/21/2018 at 2:00 AM, arrowheadwaterj said:

heyy guys, we r a fairly young couple, late 20's. i have expressed for a couple years now how much i want her to be open and flirt, dance, etc with other guys. she doesnt have the most confidence and doesnt think other guys are interested in her. what r some of the best ways to get her interested in doing stuff with other guys? also, shes been approached while we have been out but then they get scared away because i am there. i wanted to try to drop a hint that i wanted them to stay but didnt know how to say it without her knowingg.

Hey man, 

best bet is tell her. 

We've been doing this for a while and I started out worried and shit. Finally I just the cards on the table. 

At first she had her trepidations but we took our time and it worked out great 

[1stexhub]

Do your homework there are no shortcuts make sure to take her someplace she feels comfortable and relaxed,  see what type of men she responds to that seem to hold her interest. Then listen as she talks about the men she met someone will get the most discussion maybe a black man, or a tall guy, or maybe a successful intellegent man. Then steer toward them and see how it progresses you dont want her to be hurt or have a bad experience. If the guy turns her on she will know what to do.

[caligula1949]

arrowheadwaterj, plenty of people quickly giving you advice on how to handle this, maybe it's only me who can see a pretty basic problem here, so I have just one question for you, maybe I have missed something in your openong post, my question is has your wife actually said she is up for this, saying she wants other men in your marriage, as I have not seen anywhere where you say that she is, more-so it is all your idea/wants up to now, I see no point in giving you any advice until you clarify/clear this point up, for if your wife is not as yet on board, then it's a non starter, and you can wish and hope all you want until she is!

[cumlayus]

23 hours ago, DomBull4U said:

Once again RobJohnson makes some good points and provides some good insight into the mind of a cuck husband.

There is one thing I have to disagree with however...the idea that the cuck husband does not matter. In my opinion, the cuck husband definitely does matter. Now he may not have much control of the situation...once the wife and her bull have established a firm, solid relationship.

Using the phrase "I don't matter" may be a good technique for a husband to use when trying to come to grips with being in a cuckold relationship. It definitely seems to be working for RobJohnson...and I say...whatever works...go with it. To my way of thinking, a cuckold relationship...a good one...is like a three-legged stool. The wife, the bull, and the cuckold husband each being one of the legs. Obviously all three legs are needed for the stool to function properly. If any one leg is missing, the stool becomes useless and unusable.

The transformation of a marriage into a cuckold marriage is tricky to say the least. Tricky and confusing. The couple will be on a roller coaster ride of emotions that is hard to describe...hard to imagine. I think the wife especially will be experiencing this range of emotions and may be in for the wildest ride on that roller coaster. It may be just my opinion, but I think the transformation goes best when a husband provides a solid base from which his wife can venture out...and ease into the cuckold relationship. For the wife to become the totally free, sexual "slut" for her bull...it's important that she knows she has a loving, husband supporting her in this new lifestyle. So to me, the husband plays an important role.

It's really just a different way of looking at the points RobJohnson made.

He mentioned the husband....making sure the wife felt and looked good for her bull. Excellent point...from Rob's perspective that means "I don't matter".  But looked at from the wife's perspective and the bulls...that makes hubby's job important.

The point that Rob brings up that is especially notable and very worthwhile is the one he makes about the wife having a clear mind so she can focus on what she needs to. Yes, yes, yes. Definitely. The wife is really going to be living a double life. These two lives...these two worlds...are best kept apart...not bleeding into one another. When she becomes the plaything for her bull...she shouldn't be thinking of fixing dinner, or carpools, or PTA meeting, etc...those "real" word thoughts. Those thoughts and realities are what probably led to the exploration of the cuck lifestyle in the first place. She needs her mind to at ease....free and clear...thinking only of her pleasure...and pleasing her bull. Again, to me...it's important that she knows she has a loving, supportive husband that "has her back"...so she can completely relax and unwind.

Even sexually...I don't think we can say the cuckold husband doesn't matter. When a married woman crosses that line...it's important again that she have a loving and supportive husband at home....waiting for his wife to return. Waiting to welcome her back into her "real" world. Wait to tell her everything is ok in her real world. Waiting...not with a look of disgust...or a questioning "where have you been?" attitude. But waiting...waiting for her with maybe a nice warm hug...and what they share after that becomes personal preference. (just asRobJohnson mentions).

I'm not really disagreeing with RobJohnson...but just wanted to look at it from a different angle.

DomBull4U 

 

 

 

You are absolutely correct, I was going to say much the same thing. The cuckold husband is so very important in the hotwife relaxing and enjoying her tryst (s). My husband took a long time to convince me that he was so good with me having lovers but I love him so much that even when I finally got into the "swing" of it, I was still concerned that he would not see me or love me the same as he used to. But after even more time and talking I finally understood how much he really did love me, maybe even more than he did before we got into the cuckold lifestyle. He's there for me when I come back to him and he talks to me about my evening with my lover and always pampers my pussy with his tongue as I tell him all about how amazing my lover is, he can't wait to hear it all. He's so important to me, if I ever thought for a moment that he wasn't happy or was feeling left out I would stop seeing my lover immediately and turn my attention to my husband because he's the most important person in my life. This is the way it really should be in a successful cuckold/hotwife relationship. Some people prefer that the cuckold is left completely out of the whole thing but in my eyes it just means that he's really not that important to the hotwife in the first place, and he's just happy she's still in his life even though they're no longer connected spiritually. Again this is just my opinion but every couple in a cuckold relationship I've ever met in the 12 years we've been in the lifestyle, have been much the same as us, spiritually bonded and VERY into each other's roles and interactions. So in my opinion you shouldn't stay out of her meetings with men for the first time, on the contrary, you should introduce yourself to the potential lover and explain that you love your wife very much and want her to be sexually happier than she currently is in your relationship, but you'll always be there for her and you'll protect her if anyone should hurt her or try to split the two of you apart. My husband has several black belts in martial arts and would have no problem taking care of anyone who hurt me or tried to break up our marriage, and he explains that to my lovers as well. All of my lovers have respected my cuckold husband and even became friends with him. They respected the fact that he is such a good husband who wants me to be happy. Now yes, my cucky wears panties and even other feminine items when I've told him to, but it's all in the fun and he enjoys the role. I hope this helps a bit, as others have said, everyone has some different ways they work in this lifestyle but in the end everyone has to be happy or it just won't work. Good luck in your adventures

[OldBull70]

On 21/03/2018 at 6:51 PM, RobJohnson said:

A few things here, firstly its about her looking good and feeling good that will give her the confidence to be open and flirt. Buy her new clothes and underwear so she goes to the bars etc feeling a million dollars, just make sure she is feeling great and looks great and the guys will come.

Secondly, just make sure you are involved as little as possible when the guys come over. A good bull won’t want to talk to you, he will see your wife as a target, will want to lure her in, and you chipping in won’t help him.

You don’t need to say anything, be more submissive and both the potential bull and your wife will see they are in control of the situation and you are not and let it take it’s course.

Then if you go to the bar etc, they may have more deep conversations about what they want to do, and if you have been submissive they will see that the possibility of him having her is real.

If you are involved you will be a barrier, and if he wants her, you are the last person he wants to talk too, it’s your wife he wants not you.

So get her feeling confident, and play less of a role yourself. It’s not about you, this is about your wife so keep out of it as much as possible to let things happen.

Maybe also strong enough characters have not approached yet. A good strong bull will keep on after his target until he has her, and if your wife shows the right signals to him, there is no way he will not have her.

I have had loads of instances where strong guys have approached my wife. This was despite me not wanting anything to happen between them and her. But once they see the signs that she wants them, and they want her, they find a way. It may not be that night, but numbers might have been exchanged, or they have arranged to be in the same bar the next week etc. 

Once a bull has decided to have her, and she has given him the green light, I just knew I was unable to stop anything happening, despite me wanting too. 

Great advice, I agree with everything, follow it to the letter, good luck