A girl goes to confession."Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday.""Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch??" the priest asked."Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission""Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm."Yes father.""That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch.""But father he also touched my breasts.""You mean like this??" He touches her breasts."Yes father.""That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.""But father, he took off my clothes.""Like this??" He takes off her clothes."Yes father.""That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.""But father, he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where.""Like this??" He put his you-know-what in her you-know-where."Yes father," she says sometime later."But that's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.""But father, he has AIDS.""THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!"
The teacher asks the kids in her 5th grade class: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'
Little Larry says: 'I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.'The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.'And how about you, Sarah?''I wanna be Larry's whore.'
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best.I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".