secondjag

Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office.
"What's wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol.
"It's my boyfriend," gushes Judi. "He was working on the engine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!"
"My god," shrieks Carol. "Did it chop off his WHOLE finger!?"
"No thank goodness," sniffs Judi. "But it was the one just next to it!"

 

A Salvation lassie named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed
She reverently said,
"I wish to be opened with prayer."

A decent young fellow named Herm
Was equipped with a geyser-like worm.
The size wasn't much,
But its volume was such,
That his lovers did backstroke in sperm.

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren" and, poof, she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna" and, poof,  she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks.
"Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
He reads the paper and starts laughing.

He hands it back to her and says, "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

love this Asian.  (5 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 hours ago, Peter C said:

It would be better still if my Becky was sucking your black dick whilst i was busy reading your post. Some nice mums and daughters there too. Too bad I can't get Becky to pose with her mum for you. 

understand your frustration Peter but it does seem you are close

Definition of vagina:
The box a penis comes in.

 As a hooker was dressing afterwards, she turned to her customer and  asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?" "Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sex from the rear?" "Partly," she said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'

A woman went to a pet shop and spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that read $50.00.
"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and conceded, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room.
She was waiting for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and spoke, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "That's really not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and squawked, "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then began to laugh about the situation -- considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Fred came home from work.
The bird looked at him and squawked, "Hi, Fred."

 

A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So, he decides to test this theory.

He convenes all the couples he can find at a special seminar.

He then starts by asking the many people in the audience. “How many people here make love once a day?”

Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely.

“Once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant.

"How many of you make love once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. No grins could be sighted.

Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?”

To his shock, one man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands and whistling.

The therapist is shocked. This man's reaction completely disproves his theory! “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?”

The man shouts: "Today’s the day!”

1 hour ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Damn Jag what a magnificent group of black cock sluts!

glad u dug it Gunner

Friday night lights   (5 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hehe, love to post while a hot wife sucks my dick.  lots of nice wedding rings

 

when the craving becomes hunger

 

 

so let's start the weekend off right  ( 4 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the cinema a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was playing herself furiously.
He moved to the next seat to her and offered his help.
She welcomed his help, and so the man started playing her like crazy.
When he tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see her go back to work on herself with both hands.
Wasn't I good enough?" he asked sheepishly.
"Great," she said, "but these crabs are still itching!"

 

What's the definition of a good salesman?
A really great salesman is one who can actually make his wife feel sorry for the girl who lost her panties and bra in his car.

An old maid was held up in a dark alley. She explained she had no money, but the robber insisted that it must be in her bra, or in her panties and started feeling around.
"I told you I haven't got any money," the spinster said, "but if you keep doing that, I'll write you a check."

There was a young fellow named Gluck
Who found himself shit out of luck.
Though he petted and wooed,
When he tried to get screwed
He found virgins just don't give a fuck.

"You're in remarkable shape for a man your age," said the doctor to the ninety-year-old man after the examination.
"I know it," said the old gentleman. "I've really got only one complaint: My sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?"
The doctor's mouth dropped open. "Your what?" he gasped.
"My sex drive," said the old man. "It's too high, and I'd like to have you lower it if you can."
"Lower it!" exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year-old gentleman was saying. "Just what do you consider 'high'?"
"These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc," said the old man, "and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can."

 

my library is pretty big, but sadly not categorized, and seems I've seen these.  I'll watch for them

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!"
"Oh NO! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive."
"I also heard that you've been calling me fat?!?"
"Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are."
"I've also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!"
"Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep. A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"

 

Two out of work bums decided that they would be better off in a more downtown location...so they hitched a ride.
The driver dropped them off in the city's red-light district.
A hooker approached one of the bums and said, "Hey guy...would you like a hand job?"
The bum shook his head and said, "errr...no its okay!"
A few minutes later another hooker approached the bums and said, "Hey guy...would you like a blow job?"
The bum again shook his head and said, "errr...no its okay!"
After the hooker left the bum turned to his buddy and said, "We'd better go back where we came from, we've only been here 10 minutes and we've been offered two jobs already!"

 

 

3 hours ago, Hardyorkie said:

You sir, are like a farmer surveying his land......out standing in your field.

 

 

that is extraordinarily nice of you to say Hardy.  Much appreciated.

34 minutes ago, gloriafrenchsissy said:

Amazing facial on the milf with the blue dress! And love the express on the face of the blonde woman with the black dress, she can't believe the cock she has inside her!

lol, we do aim to please G.  Glad u dug it

 

8 minutes ago, xblonde4bbcx said:

Blonde Hotwife sucking thick black dick.

thanks for sharing baby; is that you?

Ok listen.  If you don't have the sound on for many of these you are missing more than half the fun.  (10 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 hours ago, Peter C said:

Thanks Jag.

Here's another one i found. The added bonus is that a) she's a mature woman, and b) I do love to see a woman naked all bar her high heels. Makes them look even more naked if you see what I mean.

lmao, you can leave your hat on

 

 

"Good morning, ma'am, I've come to ask for collections, for the Salvation Army," said the man in the bright red Santa suit to the woman who opened the door wearing nothing but panties and a see-through negligee.

 "How do I know that?" the young woman replied. "How do I know you're really with the Salvation Army? How do I know you aren't some sex fiend who has come to take advantage of a poor, defenseless female who's all alone in her house... and will be until 5:30pm this evening?"

A lovely young girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the worker, cupping his ear. "No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."

 I heard about a college girl who went to a fraternity beer party, got drunk, spent the night with one of the frat boys and soon discovered she was pregnant. After her baby was born, she decided to write a book about her experience, which she chose to call: "From Beer to Maternity"

There was a young fellow named Simon,
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl,
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond.

 

 

20 hours ago, Peter C said:

Being in my 60s now, I can remember when very few women shaved their pussies. My first Wife Helen once shocked me when I came home from work one night and she proudly showed me her bald pussy. She hadn't shaved it, but applied hair removal cream and I was pleasantly surprised to see how smooth she was. 

My second wife Debbie never even used to trim her ginger pubes and I didn't have a problem with that. However, once she started seeing other men for sex it became my job to shave her, either for a specific date or "just in case" for a girls' night out. She never said, but i do wonder if that first lad she went with - he was 23, Debbie just turned 35 - was more used to girls his age shaving, as soon after I was tasked with removing her wild, unruly tangle of pubis hair with my razor.

I found it exciting having to shave my wife's cunt, knowing it was more for some other guy's benefit than mine, plus I think it was a good way of proving to her that i was definitely okay with her going elsewhere for cock.

My girlfriend Becky's pubic hair is darker, but until recently has always been nice and neatly trimmed. Now she's shaving her pussy too, maybe - hopefully - in readiness for her very first young black guy.

I once read of a girl who met a guy in a bar and went home with him, only for his flatmates to pin her down and shave her pubic hair off for him. Ever since then I've been turned on by images of women shaving, being shaved or being ordered to shave.

Love it Peter; fun new topic.  I prefer shaved or just a small landing strip.  I mean, I don't eat chicken with the feathers still on now do I?

No, no.  I spoil ya; I really do.  ( 26 vids) yup!!! that's right; 26

 

Every Little Boys Dream.mov

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two fellows from the deep South were sitting around talking one afternoon.

After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and have sex with your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about that, but it sure would make us even."

 

"I've got to get to the doctor and renew my prescription of birth control pills. I can't afford to get pregnant!" said Rosie to Nina. "But I thought you said your husband had a vasectomy," Nina responded. "He did. That's why I can't afford to get pregnant."

 

An Essex girl (blonde) is crossing the road, when she gets hit by an XR3.

As she is lying on the ground, the driver, Dave, rushes out of the car to see if she is alright.
"I'm so sorry luv! I just didn't see ya. Are ya OK?" he blurts out.
"Everyfink is just a blur, I can't see a fing" she says, tearfully.
Concerned, the man leans over the woman to test her eyesight. He asks, "How many fingers have I got up?"
"Ah fuckin' 'ell NO!" she screams. "Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist down an all!"