secondjag

surprised, thought you'd be burried in responses from Ohio by now.  she is hot as fuck

 

and so it goes...  ( 9 vids)

 

Two nuns decide to sneak out of the convent and have a real night on the town. They hit all the bars and dance clubs, and then decide, that they finally got to head back to the convent.
To enter the convent's grounds they have to crawl under some barbed wire. The nuns start crawling under the wire on their bellies. As they're crawling under the wire, the first nun turns to the second and whispers, "I feel like a marine."
The second replies, "Yeah, me too, but where can you find one this time of night?"

 

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other replies, "Oh sure I do." The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver." After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

Billy-Joe and Betty-Sue get married, and Billy-Joe whisks her away to his daddy's hunting cabin in the woods, for a romantic 'nature honeymoon'.
He carries her across the threshold, and they get into bed, when Betty-Sue whispers in his ear "Billy-Joe, be gentle, I ain’t never been with a man b'fore."
"WHAT???" shouts Billy-Joe, and his little bride softly shakes her head.
Billy-Joe jumps out of bed, grabs his clothes, and races out the door, into his truck …  down the mountain.... straight to his parents house... rushes inside screaming "Hey Daddy!, Paw! Git'up!" ....
His father rushes downstairs and gasps... "Billy-Joe, what'r you doin here?
"Billy-Joe, still breathing hard from his mad flight, gasps "Well, Betty-Sue an I was in the cabin, and she toll' me she ain't never been with a man' afore.... so's I rushed outta there, an' lit back here... quick as I could! "
His father grasps Billy-Joe's shoulder in reassurance, and says "SON, Ya done the right thing. Iffin she ain't good'nuff fer her family, she shure as shit ain't good'nuff fer ours!!"

 

 

slow night (5 vids)

 

I AM DUMB.  DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD SEE IMAGES FULL SIZE SIMPLY BY CLICKING ON THE PIC

 

LAWYER: "On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse down the footpath to the cowshed?"
WITNESS: "I did."
LAWYER: "And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the duckpond?"
WITNESS: "I did."
LAWYER: "And did you observe anything?"
WITNESS: "I did." (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: "Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?"
WITNESS: "I saw George."
LAWYER: " You saw George *******, the defendant in this case? "
WITNESS: "Yes."
LAWYER: "Can you tell the Court what George ******* was doing?"
WITNESS: "Yes." (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: "Well, would you kindly do so?"
WITNESS: " He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks."
LAWYER: "His 'thing?'"
WITNESS: "You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis."
LAWYER: "You passed close by the duckpond, the light was good, you were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?"
WITNESS: "Yes."
LAWYER: "Did you say anything to him?"
WITNESS: "Of course, I did!"
LAWYER: "What did you say to him?"
WITNESS: "Morning, George."

 

An Aussie went into an empty bar in New Zealand and ordered a beer.

As he was walking around, he saw a table about 6' x 4' with some lines marked 6"- 10" from one edge. Next to each line there are initials.
The man asked the bartender, "What are all those marks on that table?"
"It's a game the locals play, they pull out their dicks, stretch them a far as they can and mark a line."

Our Aussie ‘hero’ was hung like a horse and reckoned he can beat all the lines he'd seen and asked if he could have a go. "Sure," was the reply.
As he pulled out his dick, a clear winner by about 3". He started to mark his line down when the bartender said, "No mate, us Kiwis start from the other side!"

Finally, some definitions of Marketing that make sense:
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her, and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.

 

Two old ladies visiting a museum, get separated during their tour.
When they finally catch-up with each other, the first old lady says, "Gertrude, did you see the statue of that naked man back there?"

Gertrude replies, "Yes, I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing, especially with his private parts being so large!"

"I know," says her friend, "And cold, too!"

Two little old ladies were sitting on the porch at the old folks home. One turned to the other and asked, "Martha, you were married a long time. Did you and your husband have mutual orgasm?" The other little old lady sat and rocked for a minute and said, "No, I think we had State Farm."

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?
One’s a snack cracker, and the others a crack snacker!

There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked a guy how to get a date.
The guy said, "It's simple. I just say that I'm a lawyer."
So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said no, he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning.
She said, "Oh! You're a lawyer?"
He said, "Why, yes I am!"
So, they went to his place. When they were in bed having sex, the guy started to laugh to himself.
When she asked what was so funny, he answered, "Well, I've only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing someone!"

 

but, but... "I'm a man."  "Nobodies perfect."  (6 vids)

 

20 hours ago, Peter C said:

I'm embarrassed to confess that there have been occasions when I have cum involuntarily in my underwear. The time I remember most was in public, at the cinema, watching "The Postman Always Rings Twice" and Jack Nicholson fucking an at first reluctant Jessica Lange on the kitchen table.

I once came involuntarily on my wife's belly when I'd persuaded her to tell me if the 25 year old paratrooper she'd been seeing was better in bed than me. She was 44 and I was twice his age so I knew the answer, but her lack of hesitation as she said it, sent me over the edge. I guess that proved her point too.

very kool Peter, thanks for sharing.

I AM DUMB.  DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD SEE IMAGES FULL SIZE SIMPLY BY CLICKING ON THE PIC

 

I AM DUMB.  DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD SEE IMAGES FULL SIZE SIMPLY BY CLICKING ON THE PIC

 

now how did I forget this one?  prob because he's using latex.

 

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals".
The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be, sugar?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed, and a jackass to pay for it all."
The teacher fainted.

 

Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large publicly held company.
Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.
One day I received a call from a young lady who was in just such a predicament. I looked up her password and informed her that it was 'DOME' and, just to be playful, told her the price for me being gracious enough to unlock her sign-on was an explanation of the meaning of her password.

She became very embarrassed over the phone and pleaded that she could never reveal her secret. I of course replied that I would not give her system access until she did. After negotiating for several minutes, she finally acquiesced, but made me promise to never reveal her password meaning to any of her colleagues to which I gladly agreed.
"Well, what does it mean?", I asked.
She hesitated and then replied, "It's two words."
There was pregnant pause. I unlocked her system and simply said, "Have a nice day."

Last year a young man graduated from the University of Arkansas with a degree in journalism.
His very first assignment, for the newspaper who hired him, was to write a human interest story.
He decided to go into the Ozark Mountains to do his research.
He found an old farmer's house in an isolated section and introduced himself to the man.
He then asked him, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy?"
The old farmer thought for a moment and said, "Yep, one time a neighbor's sheep got lost. We all formed a posse and found it. Then we all screwed it and took it back home."
"I can't print that!" the young reporter exclaimed. "Can you think of anything else that happened that made you happy?"
"Yep, one time a neighbor's got lost. We all formed a posse & found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home."
"Hell, I can't print that either!" cried the frustrated reporter. "Has anything ever happened that made you sad?"
The old farmer dropped his head and sit quietly for a few seconds.
Then he timidly replied, "Yep, I got lost once."

 

ok, let's get this party started ( 4 vids)

 

20 minutes ago, Peter C said:

Another awesome selection Jag, with more and more of our white wives and girlfriends discovering how much better black cock is.

Even one there that looks like my Becky with a black guy on top of her. Good that he's being gentle with her. It's her first time...

thanks Peter, glad u dug it.  aggravated, this place is fucking with my numbers again.

1 hour ago, Imcuckuseme said:

Hey I'm here again partying. Message me. The longer the night goes the hornier I get. I'm ready to be a cuck to older men pervs. My girlfriend only been naked in front of me. Want to show her

why not just share them here??  somehow doesn't have the "ring of truth."

OKAY, I DON'T AGREE WITH THIS, IN FACT I THINK IT'S STUPID.  IGNORE THE MESSAGE AND ENJOY THE VISUALS

(3 vids)