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Silvana

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Silvana last won the day on September 17 2020

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About Silvana

  • Birthday 01/30/1976

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  1. Thanks for the compliment. I will finish my story. Be patient. More happened. You will be shocked. I had my weirdest experiences with these two weird small skinny creepy old women. 5 months ago i even started online therapy to get some help sorting out my shit. It is a video chatting/tele-therapy. I see my therapist through Skype. We talk as much as I need. It works really well. My therapist thinks that i am bicurious submissive. She says that i should embrace my submissive side. My therapist suggested that i should write in the form of stories in details all the incidents on an online forum. She says that i should share my experiences. She says that I should write out everything that happened in the form of stories. She thinks that i need to share every single experience. She says that writing is therapeutic. So I will give it a try.
  2. I will finish my story. Be patient. More happened. You will be shocked.
  3. Also there is this toxic masculinity in his family. I think the main burden, I feel from it is the fear of repercussions of wounding my husband's fragile toxic masculinity. He is Italian. I am only part Italian. My father is Norwegian American and my mother is Italian American. My husband is full blooded Italian. My father in law looks down on me in large part because he thinks men are superior to woman. His family is kinda mobbed up. My husband is raised by toxic masculine father and uncles. His first cousin spent 11 years in federal prison. He was certainly involved in violent acts. Also my brother in law is involved with the Mob.
  4. I have never cheated on my husband. I just have an overwhelming amount of attention from men. That is why he is insecure and jealous.
  5. I am a small business owner. My husband doesn't want me around other guys, so all of my employees are women.
  6. Thank you for your advise! I have an overwhelming amount of attention from men. As long as I remember….I've attracted men like crazy. Usually, it's always lust is why they are so drawn to me. But it’d never ever cross my mind of cheating. That drove my husband nuts as he seen how men acted around me. I need your opinion. Please be brutally honest. Do you think that i I want an excuse to cheat on my husband even though he's uncomfortable with it?
  7. I got back from the restroom and sat down on this chair in the living room. The ginger walked up to me and said. "Make sure you read The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin." "Of course." I replied, as the ginger stood behind . Her stomach was right behind my head. The ginger reached out and started massaging my shoulders. I started to object, but she interrupted me. "You know Silvana... I think you're a wonderful person. I really do. I am glad to join this book club." " thank you for the compliment, but..." I moved her hands off my shoulders, but she immediately put them back and massaged my shoulders deeper. I felt this small masculine ginger woman showing her dominance over me. She was rubbing my shoulders harder, more forcefully. I started to get up, but the ginger pushed me back down in the chair. She just kept rubbing my shoulders for like 5 minutes. Then she stopped rubbing my shoulders and she sat on the chair next to me on my right side. . The ginger looked me up and down, her gaze finally coming to rest on my breasts and said" Wow Silvana your breasts are sooo large. They are massive. This blouse you are wearing is so tight fitting that stretches taut across your chest, it is buttoned up to the top but the buttons are almost threatening to pop free." "Can i touch your breasts." she gestured vaguely in my direction. "My breasts?" i repeated in surprise. My hands rose up to unconsciously cover my chest. "Yes, they're perfect!"the ginger said with great enthusiasm. " I am fascinated with the size of your boobs. As you can see I am totally flat. My breasts are tiny. " "You want to touch " I swallowed, "my breasts" "Yes, yes!" the ginger said. " You don't mind do you Silvana?" I hesitated, frowning as i tried to think through what she had just suggested. "Okay " i said finally, after all i was physically stronger than this small skinny old ginger woman. "Wonderful!" the ginger said happily. She immediately reached out with her both hands and grabbed hold of my breasts , giving them a squeeze through my blouse and bra. "Very nice," she said, "your breasts are perfect." The ginger ran her hands all over my breasts. She then started to squeeze my breasts through my clothing, letting her fingers sink into the soft mound of my breasts. The ginger hefted my breasts up in her palms, feeling the weight of them, and then resumed squeezing and groping. I remained still as a statue, sitting silently in my chair as this small ginger woman squeezed and groped my breasts in front of other women in the middle of this living room. I avoided any eye contact, the whole situation was making me feel rather uncomfortable.. The ginger did her best to look thoughtful as she rolled my tits around in her palms, "Okay Silvana," she said after about three or four minutes of fondling my breasts "Well, I think we'd all enjoy a coffee as we start off the discussion. Silvana, would you be a dear and fetch it for us?" All the women looked up at me, clearly wondering what I would do. I decided it was better that I went willingly, and got up to leave the room. As I stood the ginger mumbled without looking up at me "Black with one sugar." I walked in the dining room to a coffee machine filled with shame. Why was I the one getting coffee when I should be in the room talking about the book? I am the book club president. Why did I let this small skinny creepy ginger control me like that? I walked back with the coffees determined to get my dignity back. I had expected snickers when I came in but the women did not even look up from the discussion they were having about the book. I was going to just put the coffees on the table for everyone to get for themselves but wanted to make sure the ginger got the right one so I brought it to her. She grunted what I assume was a thanks, and I decided I may as well give the others theirs as well. I walked carefully over to the pale woman to give her the double cream she asked for and while I walked away i was shocked to feel her hand reach over and gently squeeze on my bottom. I almost reflectively reached back to shoo her hand away but carrying six coffees I was in no position to do so. I moved away quickly , then realized I should have said something. I felt it would be a little silly since I was now well out of her reach. I walked down the hall and brought back six coffees. I had not even placed the coffees on the table when I felt a light slap on my ass and realized that it was indeed this small weirdo pale woman taking advantage again. The slap was subtle enough that I didn't want to make a scene, but I did whisper to to a grinning pale woman to cut it out and scrambled back to my seat. . We all re-focused on the book, but there was a new creepy energy in the room. It was clear that both the pale woman was staring at my tits, and the ginger, who was sitting beside me, was stealing glances at my legs as I crossed and re-crossed them in my skirt. The pale woman didn't try to hide that she was looking, giving me sly grins when I saw her doing so. I found it distracting, to have so much attention on me.. . . . . . TO BE CONTINUED
  8. In the dining room i sat next to this small ginger book club host woman on this big dining table. I complained to her about the touchy feely pale woman. But she just laughed and said " Yes i noticed. She was hugging you. She is just fascinated with you. You are dressed in all this satin. She is just showing appreciation for your height, elegance and clothes. Just let her. You are much taller and bigger than any woman here. You are a massive woman . You are everything that these women here are not. You are a sophisticated, elegant, upper middle class, tall woman. She is just fascinated. " . Than this short skinny old pale touchy feely woman sat next to me on my right side. She said "big woman i must sit next to you" . . Lunches were distributed, we all started eating. To my left the ginger book club host had finished cutting up her meat and was now just using a fork to spear food while her other hand emphasised points, to my right the touchy feely pale woman had done the same, but her free hand lay in her lap below the table. The conversation around the table was light and bawdy As the ginger continued with her discussion about the book I felt a light touch on my leg, surprised I glanced down but the tablecloth blocked my view. Turning my head I looked at the pale woman, the touch was on her side, her hand was still out of view, as I looked at her she smiled, and the hand touching my leg gave a little squeeze. I was shocked, i turned my attention back to the ginger. Listening to the ginger and feeling pale woman's hand now stroking my leg over my skirt I felt even more uncomfortable. Obviously since I had made no objections to her touches the pale woman had decided to go a little further. Pale woman's hand slid down to the side of my leg. In the time it takes to draw a breath pale woman's hand had slid down the material of the skirt, to come to rest on my stockinged knee. Her hand squeezed my knee then started to stroke upwards in little circles, when I looked at her this small weird pale woman gave me a grin. Around us the conversation about the book and the meal continued, i even contributed to the chatter, but I became increasingly aware of the slow rise of pale woman's hand up my thigh. Then I felt another hand on my leg and start to stroke my thigh. Eyebrows raised in surprise I looked at the ginger, she gave me a wink without breaking the flow of her conversation. I could not believe that this was happening; these two weird small skinny older ugly masculine women were touching me up under the table. "Big woman you are so elegant and touchable. I know I’m invading your personal space but I can’t help it. " the pale woman whispered leaning a little closer to me. " I'm very fond of my personal space. I'm sorry , do I have a sign on me that says it's okey to stroke me?" I replied. "Silvana you are such an upper middle class snob. You are soo arrogant. We are in this book club together. ," the ginger said on the other side of me "i joined this book club because of you." My legs were crossed so their hands were sliding onto my right outer thigh then moving upwards. I ate too fast. I finished my lunch. The next moment both hands had left my legs, I looked at the ginger and the pale woman in turn, they were grinning at me and I felt relieved that they had stopped. "in the living room ladies." the ginger suddenly said. The ginger rose and held out a hand to me, I took her hand, stood and let her lead me out to the living room. . The ginger just linked her right arm in mine while we walked , and it was so uncomfortable. She said "Silvana i have ideas about our book club. I am so glad that i joined this book club. This is AMAZING! It is exactly what I want. I actively choose to read a broad spectrum of books.Have you read The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin? It's one of my all time favourite Scifi novels, and it's a classic. The SciFi setting serves only to place the narrative in a world by which an exploration of gender roles can be made which wouldn't be possible in a novel set on earth, without being too much one way or another. And you should totally read Use of Weapons... it is, in my very humble opinion, Banks' masterpiece." So we talked and walked around room, her arm hooked on mine, for like 5 minutes. . Than I pulled my arm out of her arm and said " I need to pee." This small masculine ginger woman tapped my upper breasts with her both hands and said" Ok Silvana." and walked over to this other woman. I went to the restroom.. . . . . . TO BE CONTINUED
  9. You are right, but i just can't leave him. But i want to punish him.I love the man, A LOT. With all my heart. I love him , but his jealousy is ruining our marriage. He has no justification for his jealousy. His imagination is what gets him in trouble. That is why i want to punish him.My husband has extreme self-esteem issues. What puzzles me the most is that I've had less partners than him. I mean, I have only fucked like 11 other guys aside from him.
  10. I am 44 year old heterosexual married woman. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have a 11 year old ! I am 5 ft 11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed(i have very large breasts) i can even carry a few extra pounds without looking tubby. I've always had big boobs. I easily had the largest chest in my high school. I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature. About a year ago I was at Costco with my and this little boy pointed at me and said something like: "Gush mom, look at her, she is giant!!!" I don’t intend to dress in any particular ‘way’ for anyone. I just wear what I like. I wear clothes that fit me properly. Most of my outfit are pant and skirt suits, satin coats and satin and silk blouses. I am always on high heels and full make up on. If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot. I wear almost always my blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a pencil skirt or satin pants. I don’t wear anything vulgar but because of my body type anything i wear looks tight on me. Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. I was sexualised from a very early age, and shamed for the way my body looks – something I have no control over. I can’t help how wide my hips grow or how big my breasts get. My mother used to shame me for the way my body looked. If I wanted to wear a skirt or dress, she always discouraged it, she always thought my skirt was ‘too short’ or ‘too tight’, or there was something wrong with my dress-sense. My husband is extremely jealous of any kind of attention I get. Please note I am not trying to sound conceited at all, but my looks and body shape get me quite a lot of attention from men. It's been that way since I started developing as a young teenager. I don't give in to these remarks or anything, but it still bothers him to no end. He'll get really clingy and start grabbing all up on me I guess to make it known we're together, which that can get frustrating sometimes. It'll bug him to death if I go out without him dressed up,texting and calling me about what I'm doing and who I'm with. This is very tiring. I don't like being told what to do or wear as I'm not a child. I'm not allowed to have any guy friends. My husband even doesn't allow me to talk to other guys. The irony is that all this time my husband is been afraid of men – when really, it was a short, skinny older women he should have feared. My husband doesn't want me around other guys, so i only attend these all female events. I wanted to start a book club, ever since I saw a book club scene in the beginning of season 3 of Lost. So about six months ago i started this women-only book club. . First book club meeting. . I had event on fff with 17 women "going". We decided to take turns hosting which means - your home, your book pick, and you provide food. This woman who is a bed and breakfast innkeeper offered to host the first meeting at her place. So we met there. I arrived there. I got out of the car. I was wearing my long black fur coat, a red long sleeve satin blouse buttoned up to the top tucked into black satin pencil skirt, sheer lace hold up nylon stockings and 5 inch heels red shoes. I had full make up on. There were 17 women in their 40s and 50s mingling outside waiting for it to start. This skinny really short like 5 ft 3 ugly pale face creepy brown eyes thin lips light brown haired with Chin-Length haircut kinda masculine woman in her mid 50s walked up to me and said " Hi. You have such a regal bearing. You are so elegant. Wow. You are such a big woman. Standing next to you i look like a midget. The size difference between us is beyond comical. You are the tallest woman here. You are towering over everybody " She was in flat shoes and i was on high heels, i am 5ft11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed , i was really like a giant standing beside this weird woman. Also all other women there were shorter than me. I was really towering. "I am unemployed and broke. I am 53 year old and I have always been poor I don't know how to make money. I don't want to die poor. I am practically homeless. I live in my cousin's garage. But i read alot. I have read well over 500 books. That is why i joined your book club". she told me. Then i saw this B&B innkeeper host woman. "Holy shit she looks like a short skinny ugly effeminate man." That was the very first thought that came into my head as I laid eyes upon this B&B innkeeper woman for the very first time. I was surprised. On her FB photos she looked taller, younger and more feminine. It wasn't just that she was short like 5ft2 tall, she was skinny and masculine! She was in her late 50s. She had short red hair, thin lips, green eyes, ugly freckled face. she was wearing this ugly gray unisex suit and flat shoes. I walked over to this innkeeper small woman and I introduced myself to her. We started talking about the book club. . About 5 minutes later we entered in this like living room.. I took my coat off and hung it on a coat hanger by the door. One chubby asian- looking woman asked me" Why are you so overdressed? You look so glammed up. ". " I like dressing well, and looking presentable. I ’d rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I wear high heels every day too.All the time." I answered to her. Then this small ginger host started her discussion about the book she choose(Every Breath by Nicholas Sparks). The living room was kinda small,so we all just stood there listening to our ginger host speaking. . I felt a hand touching the small of my back. The hand moved up and down, and then was gone. I wondered whether the touch was intentional, but then i dismissed the thought, since the living room was kinda crowded . Probably just some woman trying to maintain her balance. There was no room to move, and everyone seemed to be standing very close. I checked my phone and put it back into a pocket in my purse. That was about the moment when I first felt that someone was behind me. It was first just a sense of someone's presence, then the feeling of a body behind mine. 'How could I have missed that?' I wondered. I turned partially as if adjusting my blouse to see who was directly behind me. It was the small skinny Chin-Length haircut pale weird woman . She was just standing against the wall . I smiled, not wanting her to feel as though I was bothered by her standing there, then turned back to her. Not thinking anything more about it. . Then I felt it: the unmistakable feeling of two hands placed lightly on my hips. I partially turned around, only I could not completely see this small pale werdo woman this time. She had moved closer to me. My heart began to race faster with every second that her hands did not move away.The possibility that this may just be a simple accident-an older woman who had lost her footing and reached out to maintain her balance- was disappearing with each passing moment. She had purposely placed her hands there and was purposely keeping them there. I took a few deep breaths and looked around the room, searching for someone who could see what was happening. 'I was being violated, people! Don't they see?!' I screamed in my own head. Then, I calmed myself down. Nothing can happen. I almost laughed out loud.. 'What is she doing anyway? She is just a small, older woman. I am physically stronger than her' I thought. Also her story about being broke and living in her cousins garage made me feel sorry for her. I was puzzled at two things: first, why would she be touching my hips , and second, why wasn't I confronting her? Why was I letting it happen?! The small pale woman's hands had only been upon me for a few moments and yet my mind had gone through what seemed like an hour's worth of thoughts about the situation. I had decided not to do anything. It was no big deal, after all, there may be a good reason why she is holding my hips-around my waist. No need to rush to judgement. I took a deep breath to relax. Her hands left my waist. I sighed in relief. It was nothing, just as I thought. I smiled widely. Suddenly, I felt chills over my body. Her hands were back. They grazed my sides, near my ribcage and were slowly caressing my torso. 'Oh God, no!' I thought. She moved her hands from my hips up to just below my shoulder blades. They kept moving, wandering all over my back and upper body. I gasped. She was now firmly gripping the sides of my breasts. She held the sides of my tits in her hand. I nearly pissed my underwear. 'What the fuck!' I asked myself. I turned my head to see if I could get her in my peripheral, but again, she was too close. My heart was beating so fast I could feel it pounding in my head. My body tingled in a strange electrical sensation. I looked at each person in the room. No one even glanced at me. They were all listening this ginger host. She just kept rambling on about the book. She was speaking about the book so, of course, everyone had been looking at her . I couldn't believe the balls on this small weird pale woman. Who the fuck does this? She was moving her palms and fingers together and feeling the curvaceous sides of my breasts. I reacted by moving away from her. I took a step toward a woman whose back was to me, but then i felt like the back of someone's hand, and most likely it was this weirdo touchy feely small pale woman right behind me. Seconds passed like minutes and i wasn't surprised when her hand touched me again, but my breath was stolen by the fact that this time my left ass cheek was boldly cupped by her hand. And her hand didn't stop at just that, as it started to rub, fondle and stroke over my ass. I was trying to decide what i should do about this weirdo pale woman's hand on my arse cheek, but even as i was thinking her right hand came round my side and with calm confidence landed on my right breast, and then began to pat my breast. This put my brain back into a spin, as i just had no idea how i should best act. This whole thing was just so far outside of my experience. I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed, but the women either side of me had their backs to me, listening to this ginger host. I've always had big boobs. I easily had the largest chest in my high school. But I was one of the lucky ones that's never had her boobs grabbed, touched, or jiggled before. This was my first time getting groped. My lack of familiarity with this type of situation was not just limited to being groped either, as so far i had no involvement with lesbians at all. Even as i looked down at this weirdo small pale woman's hand on my breast her other hand that had been on my butt cheek came around my side and started patting my left breast. As I began to move forward, her small hands moved to cover the front of my breasts and grabbed them one in each hand. She used her new hold on me to pull me back and subdue me in our corner of the room. She was holding my breasts.. I just stood like a rabbit caught in car headlights as i watched the pale small weird woman's hands hypnotically as they continued their assault on my breasts. I didn't scream. I didn't yell. I didn't use my elbow to hit her face(her face was exactly the level of my elbow's), or any of those things I could have done. I froze. I froze as her hands held my tits, pressing and squeezing. I looked around the immediate area in the room, and some women were watching me stand still as my body is groped by this strange small old pale woman. Needless to say, these women remained silent and,made no effort to stop the groping. It is at this time that i felt the most embarassment. This ginger host finally finished her discussion about the book and told us to go to the dining room. I felt the pale small woman's hands leave my breasts and i felt relieved. I didn't even turned around. I just walked into the dining room.. . . . . . TO BE CONTINUED
  11. Thanks for your response. I joined this forum to punish my husband. I don't have any male friends now, because of his jealousy. I used to feel guilty when having male friends, because he'd make me feel guilty. He never said "You can't be friends with them", but his constant questions ruined these friendships ("So you probably secretly dream about Mike", "Maybe you'd been at Mike's place last night?", "Why are you hanging out with Mike so much?" (when hanging out like once in two weeks)). I'm not allowed to have any guy friends. My husband doesn't allow me to talk to other guys but he talk to other women. He knows my FB password. He logs into my FB profile. I let him read my messages - the deal is not to enter conversations with my friends . He reads my phone messages. He just takes it in front of me 'because he is bored', scrolls through my galleries, plays some mobile games, and ends up reading my messages "because he is bored". His argument is 'So you have something to hide?' if I ask him why he's doing it. The sex part is the worst. He always tries his best to make me orgasm, but sometimes I just don't orgasm (it depends on my mood), and he makes a big deal about it, and thinks I may be cheating/thinking of someone else/etc. If I want to go out with my friends, he gets upset. His argument is "But I never go Friday nights with my friends, why are you going with your friends? You aren't even going with your friends. You are probably going with some guy. You used to not go out before. What has changed? Do you not love me anymore? Is there someone else now?" He isn't really the manipulatuve/abusive type. He always gives me compliments, supports me through everything, listens to me, etc. He is a super fun person and I am never bored when with him. He doesn't have anger issues. I love him, but I don't know how to deal with his jealousy. I just want to turn him into a cuckold. I SO BADLY want to fuck a guy in front of my husband. I want to punish him!
  12. I joined this forum to punish my extremely jealous husband. I am 5 ft 11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed(i have very large breasts) i can even carry a few extra pounds without looking tubby. I am 44 year old heterosexual married woman. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have a 11 year old ! I've always had big boobs. I easily had the largest chest in my high school. I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature. About a year ago I was at Costco with my and this little boy pointed at me and said something like: "Gush mom, look at her, she is giant!!!" I don’t intend to dress in any particular ‘way’ for anyone. I just wear what I like. I wear clothes that fit me properly. Most of my outfit are pant and skirt suits, satin coats and satin and silk blouses. I am always on high heels and full make up on. If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot. I wear almost always my blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a pencil skirt or satin pants. I don’t wear anything vulgar but because of my body type anything i wear looks tight on me. Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. I was sexualised from a very early age, and shamed for the way my body looks – something I have no control over. I can’t help how wide my hips grow or how big my breasts get. My mother used to shame me for the way my body looked. If I wanted to wear a skirt or dress, she always discouraged it, she always thought my skirt was ‘too short’ or ‘too tight’, or there was something wrong with my dress-sense. My husband is extremely jealous of any kind of attention I get. Please note I am not trying to sound conceited at all, but my looks and body shape get me quite a lot of attention from men. It's been that way since I started developing as a young teenager. I don't give in to these remarks or anything, but it still bothers him to no end. He'll get really clingy and start grabbing all up on me I guess to make it known we're together, which that can get frustrating sometimes. It'll bug him to death if I go out without him dressed up,texting and calling me about what I'm doing and who I'm with. This is very tiring. I don't like being told what to do or wear as I'm not a child. The irony is that all this time my husband is been afraid of men – when really, it was a short, skinny older women he should have feared. Recently i had my weirdest sexual experiences. I will write a story about those experiences. . I want to punish my husband. I SO BADLY want to fuck a guy in front of my husband. I've had this fantasy to cuckold him.
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