Wife Cheated On Me & I Liked It. Help!

[Moose1030]

Absolutely non of this is fabricated and it’s 100 percent real. This happened about 10 months ago. So please, I don’t want any hate, im just seeking advice.

I still remember when I found out that my wife was cheating on me, it was one of the craziest days of my life, I’ve always fascinated with the idea of a cuckold relationship. I felt a sense of panic yet excitement in this situation.

Me and my now wife had a long distance relationship for several months. I was visiting her when this all happened. It was a Friday night and we both were getting ready to go out with a group of mutual friends. Recently Apple had added a new feature in which you could see recently deleted iMessage texts. Out of general curiosity while she was getting ready, I saw this as an opportunity to go through her phone. Some might think this is an invasion of privacy, but let me explain. Before we were married, she had previously messaged another guy in the past, with the intent of going over his house for some drinks. Her plan was to lie to me telling me that she would have to work late into the night and that we wouldn’t be able to sleep on FaceTime like we did every night. I had already confronted her on that situation before and I had forgiven her about that and she said it would never happen again, that it was a stupid mistake. Now back to my main situation. Which happens about a year later.

I went through the deleted messages, and to my surprise I saw a weird number saved under one of her female friends name with a bunch of emojis. Well the curiosity got the best of me and I re-opened the deleted chat. Boom, there it was. She was texting another guy, who she eventually told me would often go visit her while she was working.

The first message began with a simple “Hey, do you remember me?” She then responded with a “of course I do.” He then says, “I can’t stop thinking about you!” Which my wife responded with “I think about you a lot too”

In one of the messages he told her "I honestly can't forget your kisses that night, you did all of that on purpose. So that I wouldn’t be able to forget you” followed by “When I see you im going to fuck the shit out of you!” To my surprise my wife reacted to the message with “you better, but the issue is that I don’t work anymore and he’s always around it’s going to be hard to see each other.”

Living in a pretty small town, it’s not uncommon to see the same people everyday. Me and my wife walk to the gym, nothing unusual about, my wife wears the basic gym girl stuff. Leggings and a regular shirt. Never really put too much thought into it.

He then told her, “ I see you going to the gym almost everyday and I see the leggings you wear, that ass makes me sooo hard. I want to say something, but he’s always around you.” She responded “It’s not fair that you can only see me. I want to see you too, but if I look around too much he’ll get suspicious. Why don’t you come to the gym and watch me train? I want to see you at least for a couple of minutes!”
My wife eventually told him, “ I’ll try and find an opportunity to sneak out for at least 20 minutes, but I don’t think you’ll be able to satisfy yourself in that little bit of time.” He then said “With you, I’ll finish quickly.” At this point my cock was hard and my heart was raising. I was filled with anger and excitement. Anger based on the fact that she was cheating, but the excitement of imaging her pleasing another cock.
He then told her “just let me know if wanted you want me to pick her up at the same place I dropped you off last time.” She told him to send an audio message just so that she can 1000 percent sure confirm it was him, in which he did, but I quite honestly don’t remember what he said during the audio message. From there the messages had stopped.

At this point I confronted my wife and she began to cry, telling me that nothing ever happened, that they never had sex, that it this was a stupid mistake. I asked her about the “kisses” and she told me that he once dropped her off after work and had given her a kiss on the cheek and that was it. That she didn’t know why he was being so intense. Her excuse to the whole situation was that she was scared that he would do something to her. But what I don’t understand how can you be scared of him, but yet want to meet up with him for 20 minutes alone.

Regardless, What she didn't know is that while we were having this conversation. I was pretty hard, she was hysterically crying still, so seeing an opportunity to tell her I didn’t mind the situation.
I moved her hand on my cock so she could she how hard I was, but in doing that she started to cry more and she asked me with fear and panic in her voice “why are you hard!?! Wait, do you want to see me fuck someone else, what the fuck!” and seeing how she reacted I said "noooo love, that's not it, I’m just trying to change the topic” and I invented something to change the conversation. From there it took a while for our relationship to get back to normal.
But actually I do think about what they said over text and find myself running to watch cuckold porn and imagine it being my wife. I really want to be in a cuckold marriage. My wife lovessss watching double penetration porn and I sometimes as her if she would do something like that, but she’ll either say “baby, stop” or “we’ll see”.

In all honesty though with the reaction she gave me, I'm afraid to tell the truth now. So, I have two questions. Do you guys think that she had a sexual relationship with that guy that she was texting and two how can I “convince” her to cuck me?