Stereotypes in cuckoldry

[lifeslayer696]

Dear people of Cuckoldfart,

I'd like to have your opinion on a subject that is bothering me more and more every day.

Let's start by the premise that I LOVE the world of cuckoldry and all the implications that come with it. I have not had as many experiences as I would have liked, but fucking a woman that "belongs" to another man is a thrill unlike any other.

That said, I'm growing more and more unsatisfied by the online material one can find. I explain myself. One of the main reasons why I'm attracted to this world, is that it breaks social conventions. In a sense, it generates a sort of freedom that is impossible for people in monogonamous relationships. While I do understand that, even within this moral fluidity, labels are necessary so that every person involved is conscious of their role, I am growing a bit gutted by how stereotypical these labels/roles are becoming.

Let me provide concrete examples. If one browses for cuckold porn, all cucks have small dicks and/or can't satisfy their wives sexually. It is obviously a legitimate side of this kink of ours...but why not portraying the whole scene? In my life I have met cucks with a more than decent cocks and whose wives were not unsatisfied at all! Despite all this, the couple had a cuckold relationship....simply because the idea of the woman being shared was arousing to both.

Another example: 95% of cuckold porn features black guys as bulls. Don't get me wrong, here. I have nothing against black guys and women are free to choose their bulls as they wish, of course. I am not even questioning that black man have bigger cocks (as a matter of fact, I have never checked if there is any scientific evidence...but that's really beside the point of this post). As much as I recognize that there is a vast majority of white women looking for black man, it is very frequent that women DON'T want a black man too. Yet, this last side is seldom portrayed.

One might argue that pornography follows the imputs of those who benefit from it. And this is true, of course... That's precisely what I'm perplexed about. I mean...why are we, the cuckold kinksters, allowing our amazing, mulit-faceted world to become so stereotypical? Why aren't we upholding its ideals of freedom and flexibility? Why do we need such cliches?

Please note that I don't want to be provocative or judgmental. I'm just stating an issue that has been puzzling me and is psuhing me further away from this wolrd every day. I would love to hear the community standpoint on this subject, if any of you cares to spare a moment to write a reply....

[secondjag]

all interesting and i suppose worth examination.  personally, i have always disliked being called a "bull."  just so fucking mindless.  gave up the fight because conventions are easier.

[lifeslayer696]

8 hours ago, secondjag said:

all interesting and i suppose worth examination.  personally, i have always disliked being called a "bull."  just so fucking mindless.  gave up the fight because conventions are easier.

Yes, I feel for that. I don't like the term either, even if I used it in my post and use it elsewhere too. The sturdiness in refusing to reflect on this matters is precisely what I'm advocating against.

[Bimarried001]

I like the objectives of this post. I am a black cuck with 9” dick and I love sharing my wife. I don’t share her because I didn’t satisfy her but because I was always turned on by the thought seeing her get fucked by other men. 

I do fit some stereotypes but as I watch and read cuckold films and stories I also get upset with the stereotypical Portrayal of cucks and cuckold relationships. 

[lifeslayer696]

1 hour ago, Bimarried001 said:

I like the objectives of this post. I am a black cuck with 9” dick and I love sharing my wife. I don’t share her because I didn’t satisfy her but because I was always turned on by the thought seeing her get fucked by other men. 

I do fit some stereotypes but as I watch and read cuckold films and stories I also get upset with the stereotypical Portrayal of cucks and cuckold relationships. 

Thank you for sharing your experience. That's precisely what I'm talking about. You being black or having a long dick doesn't mean you can't play the role of the cuck, in the relationship. It's the PSYCHOLOGICAL stimulation of the entire setting that is at the heart of cuckolding. 

As a matter of fact, my first experience with a married woman with the husband's approval happened with a Moroccan woman. I was taking a trip of the country with a Moroccan friend of mine and we were hosted by an uncle of his' place. I didn't speak a word in Arabic or French (the only two language the average joe understands there...) but I did notice that our host and his wife were exchanging looks after staring at me. In the night, the woman woke me up and brought me to the basement, where his husband was already jerking off. We put on a show for him.

But I'm getting beside my point....which is that there are African into being cucks. That stands for black skinned Africans or Afroamericans as well.

[Oldercuck2]

Most cuck videos depict the cuck as a whimp and most of the men fucking their wife to be well hung black men.  this may fit a lot of the situations but is far from the facts of my wife and my relationship with the lifestyle.  simply put I am not into any type of humiliation, dont tie me up call me names or any of that kind of thing.  i am not a racist but having a black man fuck my wife doesnt turn me on or have any effect on me just because of the color of his skin.  my wife has fucked black men and i see no different than any other man who has fucked her.  I simply enjoy watching other men no matter who they are fuck my wife.  i enjoy knowing that my wife is able to give herself freely to whom ever she desires living her life to the fullest.  i do not deprive myself of other women however I get as much if not more pleasure from watching or knowing my wife is fucking other men.  I have given my wife my approval to explore her sexual needs when most men feel it is only ok for them to fuck around and do not tolerate the idea that their wife is doing the same.   

[lifeslayer696]

41 minutes ago, Oldercuck2 said:

Most cuck videos depict the cuck as a whimp and most of the men fucking their wife to be well hung black men.  this may fit a lot of the situations but is far from the facts of my wife and my relationship with the lifestyle.  simply put I am not into any type of humiliation, dont tie me up call me names or any of that kind of thing.  i am not a racist but having a black man fuck my wife doesnt turn me on or have any effect on me just because of the color of his skin.  my wife has fucked black men and i see no different than any other man who has fucked her.  I simply enjoy watching other men no matter who they are fuck my wife.  i enjoy knowing that my wife is able to give herself freely to whom ever she desires living her life to the fullest.  i do not deprive myself of other women however I get as much if not more pleasure from watching or knowing my wife is fucking other men.  I have given my wife my approval to explore her sexual needs when most men feel it is only ok for them to fuck around and do not tolerate the idea that their wife is doing the same.   

Thank you for sharing your point of view. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this crusade! lol

[Guest SandL]

I guess I’ll write from the women’s perspective. In some ways I guess we fit the stereotype that you said is pushing you away. In other ways we don’t fit them. I’ve only been with two men besides my husband and both were much bigger and both were black. I’m not sure why I gravitate that way but I think it has more to do with the fact that a black guy was my first besides my husband. Not sure...I’ve never tried to figure that out but now you’ve got me thinking . I didn’t go out of my way to choose a black guy...it just happened that way. My husband doesn’t not satisfy me. He is smaller...but I think he’s more average than small (I didn’t have any sexual experiences before him)...so I think he’s just smaller than the others I’ve been with. He’s also more on the passive/submissive side when it comes to sex...but he’s definitely not the wimpy kind that people assume cuckolds are...I don’t like that stereotype either. I do tease him...but only because he likes it...but I would never h u m i l i a t e him or try to insult him, though sometimes I get carried away...he teases me too and reins me in when I need it . We’re trying to do this stuff our way and not be too influenced by the stereotypes...but the stereotypes do make it hard to just do it your own way. I guess you can sort of fall into the expectations of roles in this world too...the very thing we tried to avoid by embracing this lifestyle. That’s a weird twist in a way. We struggled with that for a while...especially my husband. It was hard for him because of how the stereotypes made him assume how I must view him. That was a big hurdle and one that I think we’ll always have to watch out for...because of how big the stereotype stuff is. But we’ve done a pretty good job of avoiding it I think...with lots of advice from some good friends on here to just do the things we like and be who we really are and don’t let anyone tell us we’re doing it wrong.

All in all, sexually we lean towards the cuckold marriage...but my husband does satisfy me...with himself as we still have lots and lots of sex...and by letting me have different kinds of sex with other men...and hopefully some women too! 

[lifeslayer696]

12 minutes ago, SandL said:

I guess I’ll write from the women’s perspective. In some ways I guess we fit the stereotype that you said is pushing you away. In other ways we don’t fit them. I’ve only been with two men besides my husband and both were much bigger and both were black. I’m not sure why I gravitate that way but I think it has more to do with the fact that a black guy was my first besides my husband. Not sure...I’ve never tried to figure that out but now you’ve got me thinking . I didn’t go out of my way to choose a black guy...it just happened that way. My husband doesn’t not satisfy me. He is smaller...but I think he’s more average than small (I didn’t have any sexual experiences before him)...so I think he’s just smaller than the others I’ve been with. He’s also more on the passive/submissive side when it comes to sex...but he’s definitely not the wimpy kind that people assume cuckolds are...I don’t like that stereotype either. I do tease him...but only because he likes it...but I would never hhhhhhhhh him or try to insult him, though sometimes I get carried away...he teases me too and reins me in when I need it . We’re trying to do this stuff our way and not be too influenced by the stereotypes...but the stereotypes do make it hard to just do it your own way. I guess you can sort of fall into the expectations of roles in this world too...the very thing we tried to avoid by embracing this lifestyle. That’s a weird twist in a way. We struggled with that for a while...especially my husband. It was hard for him because of how the stereotypes made him assume how I must view him. That was a big hurdle and one that I think we’ll always have to watch out for...because of how big the stereotype stuff is. But we’ve done a pretty good job of avoiding it I think...with lots of advice from some good friends on here to just do the things we like and be who we really are and don’t let anyone tell us we’re doing it wrong.

All in all, sexually we lean towards the cuckold marriage...but my husband does satisfy me...with himself as we still have lots and lots of sex...and by letting me have different kinds of sex with other men...and hopefully some women too! 

Thank you very much for in depth analysis and for our reply in general.

I love having a woman's perspective on the subject. I am also glad that my post got you thinking about your choices hahahahahah (Just kidding here...)

I think it is very relevant what you said about stereotypes having been a big hurdle for you and your husband. As a matter of fact, I had never thought about it this way....but the chiches may dissuade new couples/cucks to approach this lifestyle because they don't like parts of it and they feel it's impossible to elude certain roles or labels.

I'm not saying anything new but it obviously transpires from your and your husband's posts that you carry out a satisying, fulfilling cuckold life. I am very happy for you. I thank you again for your insight and wish you can continue having fun for a long time, without stereotypes getting in your way.

[Guest SandL]

1 minute ago, lifeslayer696 said:

Thank you very much for in depth analysis and for our reply in general.

I love having a woman's perspective on the subject. I am also glad that my post got you thinking about your choices hahahahahah (Just kidding here...)

I think it is very relevant what you said about stereotypes having been a big hurdle for you and your husband. As a matter of fact, I had never thought about it this way....but the chiches may dissuade new couples/cucks to approach this lifestyle because they don't like parts of it and they feel it's impossible to elude certain roles or labels.

I'm not saying anything new but it obviously transpires from your and your husband's posts that you carry out a satisying, fulfilling cuckold life. I am very happy for you. I thank you again for your insight and wish you can continue having fun for a long time, without stereotypes getting in your way.

Thanks! That’s a good point...about how the stereotypes could “dissuade new couples/cucks”. We sort of fell into this. After an unfortunate event, we started exploring what we liked...apart from the internet. Once my husband was able to admit that he liked the idea of me with other men...THEN we started researching online. Had we not already had some experience (the unfortunate event)...we might have avoided it altogether because of what we were reading at first. You have to look pretty hard to find good stuff on this lifestyle that’s not humiliating to the husband. There is good stuff...but it’s the stereotype stuff that pops up first. 

And thanks for the compliment! I enjoy your perspective on this and hope that you also continue having fun!  

[lifeslayer696]

2 minutes ago, SandL said:

Thanks! That’s a good point...about how the stereotypes could “dissuade new couples/cucks”. We sort of fell into this. After an unfortunate event, we started exploring what we liked...apart from the internet. Once my husband was able to admit that he liked the idea of me with other men...THEN we started researching online. Had we not already had some experience (the unfortunate event)...we might have avoided it altogether because of what we were reading at first. You have to look pretty hard to find good stuff on this lifestyle that’s not humiliating to the husband. There is good stuff...but it’s the stereotype stuff that pops up first.

And thanks for the compliment! I enjoy your perspective on this and hope that you also continue having fun!  

I feel for the difficulty of finding specific, non stereotypical stuff online. I'll tell you an experience of mine. I am obviously i man, as stated in my profile, but I was doing some research on the cuckquean phenomenon, both because the idea intrigues me greatly and because I wanted to help a friend out (I cannot go into more details about this last aspect). In any case, reading some peer-reviewed articles on medicine and psychology magazines I've come across stunning figures concerning HOW MANY women fantasize about sharing their men WITHOUT taking part in the act. I would have never guessed it. Of course, it varies with the country but the average percentage I've found is around 15%, which is staggering if you consider what is normally thought of women and jelousy.

However, if one goes online (even in cuckoldry dedicated forums and porn sites) you can barely find anything. In videos, a "cuckquean" is nothing more than a girlfriend that organizes a threesome for her man, where she is one of the girls fucking him. Hence, creating a lot of confusion. The cuckqueans I've talked to on Tumblr have told me that they have rarely come across other cuckqueans that enjoy being humiliated or shamed....because it would generate too much insecurity in them to go on with the relationship. Despite this, all the cuckquean videos I've found portray the quean in a humiliated position.

Oh....i think I have found at most 5 videos and a couple threads on the subject....

[Guest SandL]

That is really interesting. I’ve never found anything about that. Now that I think about it, it’s kinda weird I never considered it. It wouldn’t be for me, though 😂. I will say that my husband has a bit of an admirer and it drives me crazy jealous! 😂. But I’m getting better and I want him to do that if or when he wants to. She actually flirted with him right in front of me! Grrrrrr 😊. I’m not sure why but I guess because he’s more secure with himself than I am. Weird. But I’m hoping he doesn’t read your comment! 😂 Kidding. Sort of. 

[secondjag]

3 hours ago, lifeslayer696 said:

Thank you very much for in depth analysis and for our reply in general.

I love having a woman's perspective on the subject. I am also glad that my post got you thinking about your choices hahahahahah (Just kidding here...)

I think it is very relevant what you said about stereotypes having been a big hurdle for you and your husband. As a matter of fact, I had never thought about it this way....but the chiches may dissuade new couples/cucks to approach this lifestyle because they don't like parts of it and they feel it's impossible to elude certain roles or labels.

I'm not saying anything new but it obviously transpires from your and your husband's posts that you carry out a satisying, fulfilling cuckold life. I am very happy for you. I thank you again for your insight and wish you can continue having fun for a long time, without stereotypes getting in your way.

have to be honest; i seriously doubt the cliches will ever dissuade any potential couples, and in fact, probably do more to bring couples to the lifestyle

[lifeslayer696]

Just now, secondjag said:

have to be honest; i seriously doubt the cliches will ever dissuade any potential couples, and in fact, probably do more to bring couples to the lifestyle

It is sure possible. We have daily experience of how the "average joe" simply LOVES classifications and stereotypes. So, maybe the balance is still in favor of a cuckold world where there are definite roles. It is very possible I'm biased by my preferences.

[Guest SandL]

5 minutes ago, secondjag said:

have to be honest; i seriously doubt the cliches will ever dissuade any potential couples, and in fact, probably do more to bring couples to the lifestyle

I think you’re right as far as bringing in more couples than dissuading couples. But I think some might be...we are still individuals after all. 

[secondjag]

1 minute ago, SandL said:

I think you’re right as far as bringing in more couples than dissuading couples. But I think some might be...we are still individuals after all. 

yes baby, the heart wants, what the heart wants

[Guest SandL]

Just now, secondjag said:

yes baby, the heart wants, what the heart wants

Is it really my heart, though 😂 

[lifeslayer696]

2 hours ago, SandL said:

That is really interesting. I’ve never found anything about that. Now that I think about it, it’s kinda weird I never considered it. It wouldn’t be for me, though 😂. I will say that my husband has a bit of an admirer and it drives me crazy jealous! 😂. But I’m getting better and I want him to do that if or when he wants to. She actually flirted with him right in front of me! Grrrrrr 😊. I’m not sure why but I guess because he’s more secure with himself than I am. Weird. But I’m hoping he doesn’t read your comment! 😂 Kidding. Sort of. 

I doubt he will miss it.... 😜

Cuckqueaning is not for everybody...just like cuckolding is not for everybody. It's all about expressing one's real self, within the boundaries that the couple chooses. To me, this is the only rule that should be set in stone. All the rest should be as free as possible.

Btw, before i mentioned my researches about the cuckquean phenomenon...but I forgot to mention something that might make people luagh (or angry...dunno). While doing those researches, I have come across a research where ti was stated that white women (especially in the USa) tend to look for black "bulls" because it is a cultural heritage of when Afroamericans were slave. I have lost my documentation but I remember this (female) sociologist asserting that, since it was customary to not consider black people as humans during the slavery era - and hence it was not truly considered cheating to sleep with them - , that mechanism remained ingraned in the society. Especially where black people obtained legal right not too long ago.

I cannot stress that I have no set opinon on that. It was an article I read a long time ago, but I don't have sufficient data pro or contrary the thesis. However, @SandL, something more to think about as to why you choose black men!! hahahahahah (Kidding, obviously...)

[secondjag]

1 minute ago, SandL said:

Is it really my heart, though 😂 

silly girl, i was referring to the cuck.  ok, i'll restate; the pussy wants, what the pussy wants.  😻😈

[secondjag]

1 minute ago, lifeslayer696 said:

I doubt he will miss it.... 😜

Cuckqueaning is not for everybody...just like cuckolding is not for everybody. It's all about expressing one's real self, within the boundaries that the couple chooses. To me, this is the only rule that should be set in stone. All the rest should be as free as possible.

Btw, before i mentioned my researches about the cuckquean phenomenon...but I forgot to mention something that might make people luagh (or angry...dunno). While doing those researches, I have come across a research where ti was stated that white women (especially in the USa) tend to look for black "bulls" because it is a cultural heritage of when Afroamericans were slave. I have lost my documentation but I remember this (female) sociologist asserting that, since it was customary to not consider black people as humans during the slavery era - and hence it was not truly considered cheating to sleep with them - , that mechanism remained ingraned in the society. Especially where black people obtained legal right not too long ago.

I cannot stress that I have no set opinon on that. It was an article I read a long time ago, but I don't have sufficient data pro or contrary the thesis. However, @SandL, something more to think about as to why you choose black men!! hahahahahah (Kidding, obviously...)

rubbish, sorry

[lifeslayer696]

Just now, secondjag said:

rubbish, sorry

Surely possible. As I said, I have set data on which to base an opinion.

[secondjag]

1 minute ago, lifeslayer696 said:

Surely possible. As I said, I have set data on which to base an opinion.

not sure i want to dignify this with a response

[Guest SandL]

2 minutes ago, lifeslayer696 said:

I doubt he will miss it.... 😜

Cuckqueaning is not for everybody...just like cuckolding is not for everybody. It's all about expressing one's real self, within the boundaries that the couple chooses. To me, this is the only rule that should be set in stone. All the rest should be as free as possible.

Btw, before i mentioned my researches about the cuckquean phenomenon...but I forgot to mention something that might make people luagh (or angry...dunno). While doing those researches, I have come across a research where ti was stated that white women (especially in the USa) tend to look for black "bulls" because it is a cultural heritage of when Afroamericans were slave. I have lost my documentation but I remember this (female) sociologist asserting that, since it was customary to not consider black people as humans during the slavery era - and hence it was not truly considered cheating to sleep with them - , that mechanism remained ingraned in the society. Especially where black people obtained legal right not too long ago.

I cannot stress that I have no set opinon on that. It was an article I read a long time ago, but I don't have sufficient data pro or contrary the thesis. However, @SandL, something more to think about as to why you choose black men!! hahahahahah (Kidding, obviously...)

I don’t think that plays into it all. I really don’t. What initially drew me was a definite, sexual confidence. I’m not saying that ONLY black men have this...but since my “blossoming”, I have become more aware of it...and I’ve witnessed it in a lot of black men since. It’s like a lot of black guys in Charlotte all of a sudden know about my tastes...and availability. 😂 But while I wasn’t looking for a black guy at first...it was his confidence that drew me...and the bulge.  Not history. 

[Guest SandL]

7 minutes ago, secondjag said:

silly girl, i was referring to the cuck.  ok, i'll restate; the pussy wants, what the pussy wants.  😻😈

Better ❤️ ❤️ 

[captainblack]

I am not black, I am average in size, but a very good lover and very long lasting (I went over 2 hours last weekend with a woman and she eventually begged to finish me with her mouth because her pussy was sore).  I have mostly not had the wife with the cuck in the same room, let alone the same building.  In my over 20 years being with other men's wives I have had only one man that wanted to watch.  I have had one that would drop her off and pick her up after.  The pickup was usually the three of us going to brunch together either Saturday or Sunday morning depending on if she spent Friday or Friday and Saturday with me.  Those brunches were interesting as he would finger her at the table to see how much of a load she had.

I have had multiple cucks that would speak with me on the phone after to see if she and I had a good time. 

I had one cuck who had ED.  So it is really all over the map.  For my own part I have never had a cuck who wanted to be humiliated, or do cleanup in front of me, but if I had a relationship with a couple where the cuck wanted that since I am a very creative dominant I could see some really interesting ways of interacting with a cuck that was into being dominated and humiliated.