Stereotypes in cuckoldry

[Guest SandL]

Just now, L’s_Husband said:

You’re so cute when your angry lol

Sir

I can’t wait for you to get home! I’ll be absolutely adorable!!!! 

[L’s_Husband]

Well I’ll hurry then! 

Sir

[Guest SandL]

Just now, L’s_Husband said:

Well I’ll hurry then! 

Sir

Yes. Do hurry. 

[lifeslayer696]

12 minutes ago, SandL said:

Hey!!!!! 🤬😡🤬

You gotta embrace the truth...you aren't a domme! At least, not YET! lol

[Guest SandL]

That’s not the truth I’m embracing. I’m embracing a completely different kind of truth!  

[L’s_Husband]

1 minute ago, SandL said:

That’s not the truth I’m embracing. I’m embracing a completely different kind of truth!  

Truth isn’t relative. If it’s truth it’s an absolute. Try again. 

Sir

[Guest SandL]

1 minute ago, L’s_Husband said:

Truth isn’t relative. If it’s truth it’s an absolute. Try again. 

Sir

I’ll give you an absolute. You’re ABSOLUTELY getting nothing when you get home! 😮😮😮

[DomBull4U]

Damn...this started off as a discussion about stereotypes in cuckoldry....and has veered off subject somewhat, hasn't it? I think so....yes.

 I'm not bitching about that...I'm not a member of the "conversation police". As far as I'm concerned, as long as people are having conversations along these lines...period...it's a good thing.

With that said....

About this domme thing. (Here we go...more confusing terminology and ideas.)

I think of a domme in more of a bdsm context, than in a cuckold situation. ALTHOUGH...there is certainly an element in cuckoldry where dommes exist. That being a totally submissive cuckold husband...where hubby is a slave to his wife/mistress domme. So yes, dommes come into play in certain cuckold situations.

So I guess my point is this...and I make no claims to being an expert...but.... 

As far as Leslie and Steve's relationship goes....I don't see Leslie as a domme. (Leslie...my dear Leslie...I hope this doesn't disappoint you. It shouldn't. Steve admits you are a princess, and I still think of you as a Queen...but not a domme). Not yet anyway....lol.

I see Leslie and Steve as a couple exploring the cuckold lifestyle together.

Lol...now, the way the conversation went between SandL and L's_husband...it ended up with L's_husband ABSOLUTELY getting nothing. I guess it's a good thing for L's_husband that Leslie ISN'T a domme...or he WOULD be getting something. A good spanking...lol.

DomBull4U

[DomBull4U]

21 hours ago, SandL said:

Hmmmmm LET me respond? Thank you sir for LETTING me speak! 😉 I’ll admit that I’m not a domme.................yet. 😊. But like you said, there are “areas where I play the Queen”...shall I explain???? Hmmmmmmmm???? 😂 

Your sometimes Queen, 

L 😘😘

Leslie..."areas where I play the Queen". You said..."shall I explain????"

Yeeeeesssss...please, please, please do. PLEASE.

I'd just like to hear it.

Thanks!

DomBull4U

[DomBull4U]

One last thought...completely out of left field...not even sure how it relates to any of this discussion....

I guess it ties in to the idea of a woman...or women in general...being domme....or in control.

A friend of my wife's had this T-shirt that spoke volumes where this concept of "control" is concerned.

It said......

I have the pussy, I make the rules!

Let's face it, men....it's hard to argue with that. 

I'm not sure where you'd get a shirt like that...with the internet, I'm sure one could be found.

(L's_husband....Steve....I think Leslie would LOVE one of those.)

Don't mean anything by that...just sayin'

DomBull4U

[lifeslayer696]

11 hours ago, DomBull4U said:

Damn...this started off as a discussion about stereotypes in cuckoldry....and has veered off subject somewhat, hasn't it? I think so....yes.

 I'm not bitching about that...I'm not a member of the "conversation police". As far as I'm concerned, as long as people are having conversations along these lines...period...it's a good thing.

With that said....

About this domme thing. (Here we go...more confusing terminology and ideas.)

I think of a domme in more of a bdsm context, than in a cuckold situation. ALTHOUGH...there is certainly an element in cuckoldry where dommes exist. That being a totally submissive cuckold husband...where hubby is a slave to his wife/mistress domme. So yes, dommes come into play in certain cuckold situations.

So I guess my point is this...and I make no claims to being an expert...but.... 

As far as Leslie and Steve's relationship goes....I don't see Leslie as a domme. (Leslie...my dear Leslie...I hope this doesn't disappoint you. It shouldn't. Steve admits you are a princess, and I still think of you as a Queen...but not a domme). Not yet anyway....lol.

I see Leslie and Steve as a couple exploring the cuckold lifestyle together.

Lol...now, the way the conversation went between SandL and L's_husband...it ended up with L's_husband ABSOLUTELY getting nothing. I guess it's a good thing for L's_husband that Leslie ISN'T a domme...or he WOULD be getting something. A good spanking...lol.

DomBull4U

 

11 hours ago, DomBull4U said:

One last thought...completely out of left field...not even sure how it relates to any of this discussion....

I guess it ties in to the idea of a woman...or women in general...being domme....or in control.

A friend of my wife's had this T-shirt that spoke volumes where this concept of "control" is concerned.

It said......

I have the pussy, I make the rules!

Let's face it, men....it's hard to argue with that. 

I'm not sure where you'd get a shirt like that...with the internet, I'm sure one could be found.

(L's_husband....Steve....I think Leslie would LOVE one of those.)

Don't mean anything by that...just sayin'

DomBull4U

Thank you @DomBull4U for bringing the thread back on track.

I do agree with you that the terminology "domme" relates more to bdsm than to cuckoldry. However, I also think that a hotwife must feel empowered over her man by the fact that she can sleep around while he can't. And let me state my point clearly here: everybody can do whatever they want and whatever gets them off, but - in my humble opinion - a couple where BOTH have parterns outside the marriage/engagement is NOT living a cuckold lifestyle but "simply" an open marriage/relationship. I have come across people that are not in agreement with me on this...and they sure have valid arguments. I still stand my ground, in any case. So, coming back to the topic at hand here, there is a sort of "femdom" inside the very conccept of cuckoldry, in my opinion. That's probably why I would and could never take on the role of the man who lets her woman sleep with others: I'm too dominant to accept it.

As for the t-shirt... I've seen some similar in my country (I don't live in the USA). I disagree with that statement. Sure, if a man wants THAT pussy, the woman has almost illimited power. However:

1) if she's a woman bald enough to wear such a t-shirt, she wants a dick in that pussy just as much as the cock wants to be in her cunt; hence, the power is even.

2) if the man is simply looking for A pussy, not that specific one, the girl has no real power; sure, she can look for a different cock herself, but - once again - the power distrubition is even.

[Guest SandL]

4 hours ago, lifeslayer696 said:

 

Thank you @DomBull4U for bringing the thread back on track.

I do agree with you that the terminology "domme" relates more to bdsm than to cuckoldry. However, I also think that a hotwife must feel empowered over her man by the fact that she can sleep around while he can't. And let me state my point clearly here: everybody can do whatever they want and whatever gets them off, but - in my humble opinion - a couple where BOTH have parterns outside the marriage/engagement is NOT living a cuckold lifestyle but "simply" an open marriage/relationship. I have come across people that are not in agreement with me on this...and they sure have valid arguments. I still stand my ground, in any case. So, coming back to the topic at hand here, there is a sort of "femdom" inside the very conccept of cuckoldry, in my opinion. That's probably why I would and could never take on the role of the man who lets her woman sleep with others: I'm too dominant to accept it.

As for the t-shirt... I've seen some similar in my country (I don't live in the USA). I disagree with that statement. Sure, if a man wants THAT pussy, the woman has almost illimited power. However:

1) if she's a woman bald enough to wear such a t-shirt, she wants a dick in that pussy just as much as the cock wants to be in her cunt; hence, the power is even.

2) if the man is simply looking for A pussy, not that specific one, the girl has no real power; sure, she can look for a different cock herself, but - once again - the power distrubition is even.

100% disagree! Now I’m going to think up an argument  

[pflash99]

I love the exchanges between SandL, lol.

Lifeslayer, as far as the stereotyping, you are definitely correct in the porn world.  I stopped searching "cuckold" and started searching "hotwife" or "wife with bull", etc.  Maybe the porn world will eventually catch up with the varieties of the cuckold lifestyle.

My wife is clueless about the stereotyping.  If she did, she probably wouldn't care anyway.  She doesn't watch porn or visit cuckold sites, she just dates and has sex with other men.  Although I've told her I'm a cuckold, she still doesn't really know what that means.  She just knows I love watching her have sex with other men. or just knowing she is.

I am definitely not the stereotypical cuckold.  I'm 6' tall with a slightly above average size dick.  She loves a big cock, but my wife has actually had bulls that were smaller than me in penis size as well as stature.

Try not to get too wrapped up in the stereotyping.  Just keep being a good bull for us husbands and wives that need and count on you guys.

[lifeslayer696]

15 hours ago, pflash99 said:

I love the exchanges between SandL, lol.

Lifeslayer, as far as the stereotyping, you are definitely correct in the porn world.  I stopped searching "cuckold" and started searching "hotwife" or "wife with bull", etc.  Maybe the porn world will eventually catch up with the varieties of the cuckold lifestyle.

My wife is clueless about the stereotyping.  If she did, she probably wouldn't care anyway.  She doesn't watch porn or visit cuckold sites, she just dates and has sex with other men.  Although I've told her I'm a cuckold, she still doesn't really know what that means.  She just knows I love watching her have sex with other men. or just knowing she is.

I am definitely not the stereotypical cuckold.  I'm 6' tall with a slightly above average size dick.  She loves a big cock, but my wife has actually had bulls that were smaller than me in penis size as well as stature.

Try not to get too wrapped up in the stereotyping.  Just keep being a good bull for us husbands and wives that need and count on you guys.

The exchanges involving SandL are very funny indeed.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my OP. Maybe I expressed myself poorly. When I said that stereotypes were driving me away from this world, I meant it's online version. I will always derive a great deal of fun from fucking anohter man's wife with his consent. And this kink is widespread much more than I orginially thought. So it is possible to get in touch with people that suit your tastes.

What I'm advocating for is a greater online variety so that people can find each other more easily.

[lifeslayer696]

On 6/13/2019 at 6:49 PM, SandL said:

100% disagree! Now I’m going to think up an argument  

I'm still waiing for your argument! hahahahahahaha

[MD1998]

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2019 at 5:37 PM, lifeslayer696 said:

We should ask your hubby lol

SandL,  is so humorous and glib, witty with a hint sarcasm that is just perfect for a laugh and an instant mood enhancer,  OMG, you must be wonderful to be around ..its really attractive.....

[lifeslayer696]

38 minutes ago, MD1998 said:

SandL,  is so humorous and glib, witty with a hint sarcasm that is just perfect for a laugh and an instant mood enhancer,  OMG, you must be wonderful to be around ..its really attractive.....

I could not agree more... @SandL you have another fan!

[Sigma5]

I am in a long term cuckold relationship, have a fairly decent size cock, but don’t last very long. I am certainly not a wimp or into humiliation (well maybe a little). We have discussed in length over the years why my wife enjoys sex with other men. It isn’t the cock size (but it helps), it isn’t how long they can last (but it helps if they can satisfy her). It is more to do with “power”. She has always preferred sex with “alpha” type males. She doesn’t want to be “made love to”, she wants to be fucked and dominated. She loves to flirt and be chatted up and finds just being felt up, exciting.

We hadn’t really thought much of the interracial aspect until she actually first had sex with a black guy in her early 50’s. She loved it, but couldn’t really explain why. Maybe it’s the skin contrast or the “taboo” aspect. We have both been anti-racist our entire lives, so the taboo aspect is hard for us to accept. Most of the black guys she has been with have larger than average cocks, but then most of the white guys she has been with also tend to be well endowed. Maybe it was because her first time with a black guy was at a Blackman fan party, so she had gone for one reason only and so had they.

My first experience of watching her with a black guy, blew my mind. He wasn’t the young, gym fit 6’ toned guy that I was expecting, but a 60 year old bald guy with a big beer belly. His cock didn’t look very big, but as I found out it was. It was just that in proportion to his body it looked smaller. He wasn’t a “thug” or the usual stereotypes, but a perfect gentleman although he could be very assertive. So I suppose it was the combination, something different for both of us. He was also one of the first guys that I had watched her with that didn’t ignore me, but encouraged my participation.

 

 

[lifeslayer696]

5 minutes ago, Sigma5 said:

I am in a long term cuckold relationship, have a fairly decent size cock, but don’t last very long. I am certainly not a wimp or into humiliation (well maybe a little). We have discussed in length over the years why my wife enjoys sex with other men. It isn’t the cock size (but it helps), it isn’t how long they can last (but it helps if they can satisfy her). It is more to do with “power”. She has always preferred sex with “alpha” type males. She doesn’t want to be “made love to”, she wants to be fucked and dominated. She loves to flirt and be chatted up and finds just being felt up, exciting.

We hadn’t really thought much of the interracial aspect until she actually first had sex with a black guy in her early 50’s. She loved it, but couldn’t really explain why. Maybe it’s the skin contrast or the “taboo” aspect. We have both been anti-racist our entire lives, so the taboo aspect is hard for us to accept. Most of the black guys she has been with have larger than average cocks, but then most of the white guys she has been with also tend to be well endowed. Maybe it was because her first time with a black guy was at a Blackman fan party, so she had gone for one reason only and so had they.

My first experience of watching her with a black guy, blew my mind. He wasn’t the young, gym fit 6’ toned guy that I was expecting, but a 60 year old bald guy with a big beer belly. His cock didn’t look very big, but as I found out it was. It was just that in proportion to his body it looked smaller. He wasn’t a “thug” or the usual stereotypes, but a perfect gentleman although he could be very assertive. So I suppose it was the combination, something different for both of us. He was also one of the first guys that I had watched her with that didn’t ignore me, but encouraged my participation.

 

 

Thank you very much for your contribution to this thread. I really appreciated what you had to say.

 

I think you touched a very interesting point. The alpha-male concept. As much as I dislike this splitting of human society, I must admit it does have a rather high degree of truth. I guess the main reason why women can be attracted to men other than their husbands is how they prove to be dominant, assertive. In short, alpha-males. Regardless of all the cliches I've mentioned in my OP.

[1stexhub]

Yes even though I was a good husband and dad a very good provider and the sex was great my first wife wanted and needed more. Stupid mistakes of being young she was just 19 when we married and alcohol and weed allowed her to have sex with other men and I forgave her. But no doubt a man with a strong dominate personality could sway her from faithful wife to sexy slut willing to let them screw her as they pleased. She never called them bulls but fuck buddies!

[Twalter]

You lost me with your opening statement of taking a woman who BELONGS ( my caps not yours) my wife would and has told others that she belongs only to herself. 

Yes she has had and will continue to have lovers. I have never been involved so cannot speak to the types of relationships she has. 

Yes she will inform me if she is going to be out for the evening. Or for several days on vacation. But the identity of her lovers have never been given to me. Yes I have ventured guesses and even pleaded on occasion. But to no avail. 

[subsucko]

My wife and I have been in a cuckold relationship since 6 months into our relationship, with a few attempts at swinging and a six month separation before we were engaged and over the years it has evolved considerably. As I've grown more into the actual world of cuckoldry I've seen it change too. So much of what you say resonates with me. I am a cuck (a term I use proudly) by choice. I'm fit, have a decent dick, know how to use, good stamina. The stereotypes to me, have really begun to spin out of control, almost to the part where outsiders view it as the norm. 

Our boyfriend (what started out as just a regular playmate has blossomed into a polyamorous relationship) is white. And although she has had a few black lovers she still has no preference on skin color. 

I've seen a lot of people claim to be in hotwife lifestyles but not want to call it a cuckold relationship because of the connotation of it. Instead they opt to call their husbands (or themselves Stags) However these have tended to be simply open relationships where the husband gets to fool around as well. This bothers me most, a stag is a type of cuck, however one that tends to take a more passive role. Not into humiliation, maybe still dominant to his etc. You cannot change the definition of something because you don't like it, then hijack another term because you like the sound of it. 

Sorry this is so disjointed, I'm typing on my phone in two minute increments trying to look like I'm returning something important. Lol. Anyway I love this thread and am looking forward to see what everyone else thinks!

[lifeslayer696]

2 hours ago, 1stexhub said:

Yes even though I was a good husband and dad a very good provider and the sex was great my first wife wanted and needed more. Stupid mistakes of being young she was just 19 when we married and alcohol and weed allowed her to have sex with other men and I forgave her. But no doubt a man with a strong dominate personality could sway her from faithful wife to sexy slut willing to let them screw her as they pleased. She never called them bulls but fuck buddies!

No offence...but you don't seem too much in the cuckolding lifestyle. The way I perceive your words, you are more resigned to the situation than anything else...

[lifeslayer696]

2 hours ago, Twalter said:

You lost me with your opening statement of taking a woman who BELONGS ( my caps not yours) my wife would and has told others that she belongs only to herself. 

Yes she has had and will continue to have lovers. I have never been involved so cannot speak to the types of relationships she has. 

Yes she will inform me if she is going to be out for the evening. Or for several days on vacation. But the identity of her lovers have never been given to me. Yes I have ventured guesses and even pleaded on occasion. But to no avail. 

I'm sorry you didn't appreciate my phrasing but I won't apologize for my words. Call me old fashioned but a relationship (be it a marriage, an engagement or simply the forming of a couple) generates a bond for which the woman belongs to the man as much as the man belongs to the woman.

[lifeslayer696]

21 minutes ago, subsucko said:

My wife and I have been in a cuckold relationship since 6 months into our relationship, with a few attempts at swinging and a six month separation before we were engaged and over the years it has evolved considerably. As I've grown more into the actual world of cuckoldry I've seen it change too. So much of what you say resonates with me. I am a cuck (a term I use proudly) by choice. I'm fit, have a decent dick, know how to use, good stamina. The stereotypes to me, have really begun to spin out of control, almost to the part where outsiders view it as the norm. 

Our boyfriend (what started out as just a regular playmate has blossomed into a polyamorous relationship) is white. And although she has had a few black lovers she still has no preference on skin color. 

I've seen a lot of people claim to be in hotwife lifestyles but not want to call it a cuckold relationship because of the connotation of it. Instead they opt to call their husbands (or themselves Stags) However these have tended to be simply open relationships where the husband gets to fool around as well. This bothers me most, a stag is a type of cuck, however one that tends to take a more passive role. Not into humiliation, maybe still dominant to his etc. You cannot change the definition of something because you don't like it, then hijack another term because you like the sound of it. 

Sorry this is so disjointed, I'm typing on my phone in two minute increments trying to look like I'm returning something important. Lol. Anyway I love this thread and am looking forward to see what everyone else thinks!

First of all, thank you for liking this thread and for taking the time to reply to it.

 

I think you said something very, very fundamental to our discussion:

"The stereotypes to me, have really begun to spin out of control, almost to the part where outsiders view it as the norm. "

These words fully pinpoint the problem. I had a similar experience myself. As I've written somewhere else on this site, I've approached this lifestyle almost by accident. I sort of found myself in the situation and liked it. When I tried to get a more structured insight into this world, I was almost repelled because it stunk of cliches. It was only by chatting to real people who explained to me how things were much more complex once one got past the superficiality of the associated pornography that I found the real essence of this world and got hooked to it.

 

I also feel for what you say about the "stag" and "cuck" semantics. As incorrect as it is, I think it's even worse that people need to invent terms to better indicate something that should be left as free and untainted as it was originally meant to be.