New to cucking hubby

[QueenAva99]

I'm very new to this and I have done alot of research. However I am having trouble with his submission to me outside of sex mostly. He brought this way of lifestyle to me and I agreed to go for it whole heartidly. It seems that he is only concerned with my sexual activities, mostly pressure for more and more. He doesn't seem satisfied. Not sure how to handle this 

Edited November 29, 2017 by QueenAva99

[Naughty Nicki]

First you both need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk and laid down some ground rules on what is expected, allowed, and exceptable on both sides, not just for you but for him as well along with what the  consequences  will be. 

[secondjag]

4 minutes ago, Hotwife/cuck luvR said:

First you both need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk and laid down some ground rules on what is expected, allowed, and exceptable on both sides, not just for you but for him as well along with what the  consequences  will be. 

Hi Queen, and welcome.  Don't think you'll get any better or more thoughtful advice than what Hotwife/c has offered.

[Stonemtncouple]

Have the heart to heart. Make sure cucky knows this is just a fun “Hobby” a diversion from daily routine life and not something to become “consumed” with. Men can be consumed with sex unlike most women who can keep sex in balance with other activities.

Set guidelines like, We will spend three hours a week online searching for Bulls together. You will go out on one date a week or what ever your good with doing. Set upfront expectations and limits to what your comfortable with.

This is what has worked for us. My Hotwife will go out or we will have a MFM once a month more or less. I was guilty of pressuring her and had to learn to control myself and let her act on her own schedule. I had to relax my fantasy and let it happen with her taking the lead. The more I showed her how Hotwifing made me love, pamper, spoil, serve her, the more she has responded with slutty behavior.

Hopefully you can convey this to your Cucky.

 

 

Make finding “Bulls” or Lovers for you a fun activity for both you and hubby. Search through the online sites like swinger sites such as Swing Lifestyle or Swinger Date Club or even AFF or tinder together. When you find an attractive man tell hubby how you like the guys profile and wonder how much better he is going to fuck you than hubby can. Start online chatting and emailing from these profiles while hubby is with you. He will “get off” on all your  online flirting.

Next have phone sex with prospects while hubby listens, then meet the prospects together for a coffee. If the prospects seem safe and your attracted invite them to fuck you in a hotel they pay for with hubby present for safety sake.

Do this as a routine untill your comfortable and confident your safe going alone with a Bull you’ve fully vetted. 

Go on your schedule not Cuckys, dont let him Dominate you from a sub position. Otherwise its a coersive relationship.

You as his wife do what you want!

Sex or no sex. Always and all the time thats true Domination for a Cuck. 

Your Cuck will be in heaven!!

[QueenAva99]

9 hours ago, Stonemtncouple said:

Have the heart to heart. Make sure cucky knows this is just a fun “Hobby” a diversion from daily routine life and not something to become “consumed” with. Men can be consumed with sex unlike most women who can keep sex in balance with other activities.

Set guidelines like, We will spend three hours a week online searching for Bulls together. You will go out on one date a week or what ever your good with doing. Set upfront expectations and limits to what your comfortable with.

This is what has worked for us. My Hotwife will go out or we will have a MFM once a month more or less. I was guilty of pressuring her and had to learn to control myself and let her act on her own schedule. I had to relax my fantasy and let it happen with her taking the lead. The more I showed her how Hotwifing made me love, pamper, spoil, serve her, the more she has responded with slutty behavior.

Hopefully you can convey this to your Cucky.

 

 

Make finding “Bulls” or Lovers for you a fun activity for both you and hubby. Search through the online sites like swinger sites such as Swing Lifestyle or Swinger Date Club or even AFF or tinder together. When you find an attractive man tell hubby how you like the guys profile and wonder how much better he is going to fuck you than hubby can. Start online chatting and emailing from these profiles while hubby is with you. He will “get off” on all your  online flirting.

Next have phone sex with prospects while hubby listens, then meet the prospects together for a coffee. If the prospects seem safe and your attracted invite them to fuck you in a hotel they pay for with hubby present for safety sake.

Do this as a routine untill your comfortable and confident your safe going alone with a Bull you’ve fully vetted. 

Go on your schedule not Cuckys, dont let him Dominate you from a sub position. Otherwise its a coersive relationship.

You as his wife do what you want!

Sex or no sex. Always and all the time thats true Domination for a Cuck. 

Your Cuck will be in heaven!!

Thanks so much. I think

a part of my problem is hubby is a sex addict. And another problem is he recently cheated with someone I knew but did not give permission 2. So I have my own issues alongside of this worrying if I don't do enough is he going to stray again. Just being honest

Edited November 30, 2017 by QueenAva99

[QueenAva99]

I should also add that we are in the swing lifestyle and have been for quite a while. So for me to find out he cheated was beyond my comprehension

[Naughty Nicki]

17 hours ago, QueenAva99 said:

I should also add that we are in the swing lifestyle and have been for quite a while. So for me to find out he cheated was beyond my comprehension

We were more into the swinging lifestyle than we were cuckolding, and had been since 03. Cheating is cheating and swinging is not by any means and excuse to cheat. You said if you don't do enough he will stray again, in my honest opinion that issue needs to be dealt with before anything else can or would continue, I mean no swinging, no cuckolding and he'd be lucky if he'd get just plan Jane missionary from me. At this point you have all the power in your hands to shut him down and if you want to continue then move at a pace you are comfortable with. 

[QueenAva99]

I agree and thank you for your comment and your help. I am literally new to this so I'm unsure of how to handle things with him specifically. I don't think that he will stray again however honestly there is always that thought in my mind. Due to his past Acts I naturally have insecurities. He is well aware now that if it happens again we will not even have a relationship much less a sexual one.

[azskin]

Hotwife nailed it on a emotional side of what cuckold means to a relationship.  But there is a selfish side to cuckold lifestyle I think gets confused with cuckold when in fact its more on a swapping wife's lifestyle or swingers if you will.  That is not a cuckold lifestyle.  Meaning he can't get enough because the turn on is you having sex with other men only.  Just because the two lifestyles can reflect one another they are very different.  He wants to hear you tell him how much you liked it or wanted it while he masturbates or during sex and it gets him really aroused is a scenerio that resembles cuckold but could go either way.  I'm in no way a professional i just can relate to your story. For me i was actually shocked when i thought i mite be into cuckold lifestyle because i am such a dominate man.  But i do love to hear about and watch my wife have sex with white and brown and black men.  It makes no difference but I do not allow any man to take my place in any way in my life.  That's just me.  I masturbate to it and it turns me on to the point my cock can start leaking pre-cum. But we live a more swapping lifestyle if you will.  We love reading the stories on here and ask ourselves many times.....WOW.... Could we do that and my answer is the same.  No way.  Because the lifestyle is not something that turns me on like the lifestyle i live right now.  Anyways i hope i helped a little or atleast gave another option.  Love this site and anytime I would need a question answered I hope hotwife answers it for me!!!! Lol good stuff young lady! Take care and good luck queen!

[azskin]

See then I realize that I didn't read the whole thing here and probably should have known better then too add my two cents when I am usually a day late and  a dollar short. There are other issues I did not read about and let me say this swinger lifestyle or cuckold has nothing to do with nor is a reason to be abused for actual cheating on your spouse.  Love your wife or husband and enjoy your lifestyle you two choose to live.  Honor it.  That's all I'm going to leave you ladies alone and shut up. Lol 

[KennyG]

Not all cucks are the same, many will oppose being submissive to their hotwife, and even become  violent if it is forced upon them.  I am one that is against meeting a stranger alone, it is just to dangerous.  Also, this is a lifestyle I contend is not for everyone.  It should be understood that if you have sex with someone else, that it can end at anytime. You may want to start by wearing revealing clothes when in public at a location you will not run into anyone you know. Then move on to not wearing a bra and panties. Beware many women find not wearing a bra so comfortable they not wearing one except when at work, around family, and at church. The hotwife lifestyle should be for you, not your husband.  It is often destructive to the marriage.

 

[Madmajor]

If your hubby is getting carried away sexually and can't seem to stop think about giving him the female contraception pill for a short while.  It will reduce his libido and take the pressure off you.

it will also make him more sensitive and emotional.  It may be the answer o gaining the balance you seek.

[QueenAva99]

 I'd like to make one thing clear. He cheated before we were in the cuckold lifestyle. We recently reunited after I left and are still trying to work out our problems. I don't really know why he strayed in the first place. He stated that he has been a cuck before in another relationship and realized that he needed that again. He was afraid to share that with me before. I would also like to add that he has changed in his demeanor significantly from what he was before. That was one of the conditions of me and him getting back together. And he has done so mostly. So I do want to give him credit. However, like everyone, he has setbacks. As long as he is submissive and controls his temper and sarcasm we don't have a problem. This works great for me. But I can see that he is struggling. In my research, and I could be wrong, it stated that one of the rules for a cuckold was to be submissive at all times. Also he is not to argue with his Queen. Now, I may be confused but I was under the understanding that this means in every way not just sexually. It was stated in the post above that they can become violent if it is forced upon them. My problem is, isn't that the precipice of being a cuckold? And how can the Queen gain control if she is not given the opportunity. How can she feel confident with his submission? I basically feel like he is picking and choosing different aspects out that he benefits from and it is not concerned about what benefits me also. This makes me feel like he is not serious about complying.

[pantiejim]

There's a couple things i hear ringing. Fantasy vs lifestyle vs scene vs practice.

Lifestyle takes time, work, and constant effort. Some couples fall into it easily and it becomes what they are. Not all people can be 'on' all the time. Actually, most cannot, we all need some kind of down time unless you are by nature submissive/dominant/hotwife/cuckold.

A scene is more fantasy and fun being played out. 'do this, do that' kind of mutual or singular activity being played out. Sometimes it is cooperative as experiences shared, sometimes it is directed by one and the other follows.

Practice is something that often plays out together, activities and roles are somewhat predicable and everyone enjoys what they want/need because of the familiar play together.

Fantasy is someone directing more than participating at times. Could be topping from the bottom, looking to satisfy a particular desire and need. It can be disappointing for one or both, someone is trying to get that itch scratched but it doesn't quite do it.

That said, maybe a kink therapist could be the mediation you need, they do exist. They can ask the questions and find out who wants what, and what is comfortable and acceptable.


My armchair opinion, hubby is pimping you to satisfy something.  Try to find out what that is. Your cuckold is driving this, that is wrong I  believe. Both of you, especially you, should know what is going on with reasonable expectations. You might be incompatible. You might need adjustments. I certainly hope you find that middle where you both enjoy.

[QueenAva99]

Thanks for your opinion and reply. I think and certainly agree that we need adjustments. I am working on what they are.

I'm not sure what you mean by pimping me out?  I am more than willing. However because we are new I don't have many participants that I am attracted to as of this moment. We decided to forgo the "Bull " aspect. That was mostly my decision but we mutually agreed. I think because I am not having the encounters or with the frequency he would like that he doesn't feel like I am the queen. I am truly trying trying but his impatience makes me feel like I am failing. 

[sissystephanie]

Your cucky should be so thankful and show his appreciation for Your needs and desires.  Hopefully these 'adjustments' will instill a more patient attitude in the future.

[QueenAva99]

This is my goal. Thanks 

[mfm4usinsd]

He sounds like a good candidate for chastity.  It will help him be more submissive in everything he does.

The two of you need to have a good foundation to your relationship.  You need to know each other's motivations for this lifestyle.  

[CuckoldFart]

[sissystephanie]

A secure chastity cage can be worth every penny!

[Strongbullcali]

Queenava, if you wish him to be submissive to you, you have to be Dominant with him. You need to bring home an Alpha, Dominant man who will lay down the rules to your husband, and enforce them. The core of those rules will be total submission to you. 

[OldBull70]

On 30/11/2017 at 1:29 AM, Stonemtncouple said:

Have the heart to heart. Make sure cucky knows this is just a fun “Hobby” a diversion from daily routine life and not something to become “consumed” with. Men can be consumed with sex unlike most women who can keep sex in balance with other activities.

Set guidelines like, We will spend three hours a week online searching for Bulls together. You will go out on one date a week or what ever your good with doing. Set upfront expectations and limits to what your comfortable with.

This is what has worked for us. My Hotwife will go out or we will have a MFM once a month more or less. I was guilty of pressuring her and had to learn to control myself and let her act on her own schedule. I had to relax my fantasy and let it happen with her taking the lead. The more I showed her how Hotwifing made me love, pamper, spoil, serve her, the more she has responded with slutty behavior.

Hopefully you can convey this to your Cucky.

 

 

Make finding “Bulls” or Lovers for you a fun activity for both you and hubby. Search through the online sites like swinger sites such as Swing Lifestyle or Swinger Date Club or even AFF or tinder together. When you find an attractive man tell hubby how you like the guys profile and wonder how much better he is going to fuck you than hubby can. Start online chatting and emailing from these profiles while hubby is with you. He will “get off” on all your  online flirting.

Next have phone sex with prospects while hubby listens, then meet the prospects together for a coffee. If the prospects seem safe and your attracted invite them to fuck you in a hotel they pay for with hubby present for safety sake.

Do this as a routine untill your comfortable and confident your safe going alone with a Bull you’ve fully vetted. 

Go on your schedule not Cuckys, dont let him Dominate you from a sub position. Otherwise its a coersive relationship.

You as his wife do what you want!

Sex or no sex. Always and all the time thats true Domination for a Cuck. 

Your Cuck will be in heaven!!

Top advice, right on

 

[leone55]

Ava, any update?