Newbie - not sure about it

[Molly J]

My BF wants me to try BBC.  He gave me this site and asked me to check it out.  He's not the greatest lover in the world but a really nice guy  and I do love him.  Wouldn't want to end up losing him but  from what I'm reading it seems like it could be a rewarding lifestyle.  Not sure about how to choose the right bull (does he have to be a "bull"?) though.

[UK_EX]

I had the same dilemma when my wife wanted to try our best friend in bed.

 

Just remember, he wants you to try it, but it's your body, so it is up to you what happens.

 

Take it slowly, set rules, define boundaries and stick to them. 

 

Does he have to be a bull?  Our best friend started to take an interest in my wife, groping her when I was absent. This went on to be a wonderful seven year relationship which we all enjoyed.

 

Where is it going to happen?  Your place?  Do you want someone you don't really know to know where you live? What happens if / when the relationship with the bull breaks up?

 

Like you, I didn't want to lose my partner (my wife) - so talk about it a lot before doing it. 

Once you have done it, it can't be undone.

 

Best of luck

 

Bryan

[offshoreblue]

As Bryan has said set the boundries and make sure you all want the same thing, never be forced to do something you don't want and enjoy

[Molly J]

I've talked with my BF about how our relationship could be hurt if we did this but he says that he thinks it could only get better. I know he loves me so don't THINK that would change. There is a lot more to a relationship than just good sex (or not so good). As to my question about does he have to be a bull, I just don't like that term. Seems like someone called a bull would be so domineering that it wouldn't be a good thing.

 

My BF works with a really cool black guy who seems really nice and he is the one I'd probably do it with. So I know him and he is a friend of both of us and he does seem to like me so think he would do it. My BF says he thinks I'm hot. He supposedly is really well endowed, so it is sort of intriguing to me to find out what it would be like with him.

 

When you say set boundaries, what exactly do you mean – boundaries for the relationship with the new guy or with my BF or both – both I guess. Like I don't want to get preg by him or anyone else yet but the pill should take care of that. And don't want any STD's, but think this guy we are thinking about is ok. As to what sort of sex to have, I'm pretty open (no pun intended) to anything. I really don't think I'd like to fuck with a guy with a condom on but guess it could be ok. I'm not a virgin (obvioulsy) and have had sex with several other guys before meeting my BF and it was pretty good but none of them were particularly well endowed or very accomplished lovers.

 

So let me stop rambling on. I really appreciate the advice. My BF has seen the comments from my post and thinks the advice is right on. Thanks guys. Would love to hear from women who are into this lifestyle too.

[UK_EX]

I think you'll be fine - you seem to 'have your head screwed on' as I used to be told.

 

Yes, there are dangers with having a lover in a three-way relationship, just as there were for me letting my wife go to bed with our friend.  She might have found him so much better in bed than me, she might have left me for him, I might not have liked knowing she was fucking him.   In the end, I weighed up the pros and cons, and decided that as I found it so horny thinking about it, I actually wanted her to have him.

 

Don't be put off by convention, hopefully he feels as I did, where I wanted her to experience someone else in bed, giving her excitement and experiences that I could not provide.

 

I set the rule that we should only do it once, but that afterwards we should review how we felt about it, and her main rule was that he was never ever to know that I knew he was fucking her.

 

Needless to say, it worked out fine, and I immediately agreed to her continuing the relationship.  In the seven years he was screwing her, he was never ever aware that I knew he was having her.

 

Many white men (me included) fantasise about seeing their lady with a black man, it's something about the contrast in skin colour, or the 'naughtiness' of it.

 

I forgot to set a rule about using a condom, and she went bareback with hiim from the start.  Thank goodness I forgot, I loved tasting his hot cum straight from her pussy.

 

 

See my earlier post 'Seven Years A Cuckold' at  http://cuckoldfart.com/topic/145-seven-years-a-cuckold/

 

happy to discuss any time.

 

Have Fun, and stay safe.

 

Bryan.

[UK_EX]

Good advice from Wavedancer there Molly. J

[DeeDee]

If your husband's friend is

 

I've talked with my BF about how our relationship could be hurt if we did this but he says that he thinks it could only get better. I know he loves me so don't THINK that would change. There is a lot more to a relationship than just good sex (or not so good). As to my question about does he have to be a bull, I just don't like that term. Seems like someone called a bull would be so domineering that it wouldn't be a good thing.

 

My BF works with a really cool black guy who seems really nice and he is the one I'd probably do it with. So I know him and he is a friend of both of us and he does seem to like me so think he would do it. My BF says he thinks I'm hot. He supposedly is really well endowed, so it is sort of intriguing to me to find out what it would be like with him.

 

When you say set boundaries, what exactly do you mean – boundaries for the relationship with the new guy or with my BF or both – both I guess. Like I don't want to get preg by him or anyone else yet but the pill should take care of that. And don't want any STD's, but think this guy we are thinking about is ok. As to what sort of sex to have, I'm pretty open (no pun intended) to anything. I really don't think I'd like to fuck with a guy with a condom on but guess it could be ok. I'm not a virgin (obvioulsy) and have had sex with several other guys before meeting my BF and it was pretty good but none of them were particularly well endowed or very accomplished lovers.

 

So let me stop rambling on. I really appreciate the advice. My BF has seen the comments from my post and thinks the advice is right on. Thanks guys. Would love to hear from women who are into this lifestyle too.

 

I am not a fan of condoms, and I feel that they take away from the mood.

 

We have never had boundaries. When we have men over, my husband is there for my protection. And in the last seven years I have had sex with more men than I can remember.

 

I love Black Men. There is no need for any man to have a title, bull, or anything. If your husband's friend thinks you are hot, and if you want to try him out, do it. You have to go through a lot of men to find the one or ones you really like. The ones you don't like, don't do them again. When you find men you enjoy sex with, let them know it. Tell them you want them again. That is what I do.

 

I believe that me having sex with other men has improved my relationship with my husband. My husband is not well sized and not real experienced, sexually. The fact that he wants me to have sex with better endowed men, who are more sexually experienced, means a lot to me. It tells me that he truly loves me.

 

You said,

"My BF works with a really cool black guy who seems really nice and he is the one I'd probably do it with. So I know him and he is a friend of both of us and he does seem to like me so think he would do it. My BF says he thinks I'm hot. He supposedly is really well endowed, so it is sort of intriguing to me to find out what it would be like with him."

 

I say try him out and see how he fits, and if the two of you fit. When you have sex with friends, it takes your friendship to a higher level.

 

In response to  . . .

"I'm not a virgin (obvioulsy) and have had sex with several other guys before meeting my BF and it was pretty good but none of them were particularly well endowed or very accomplished lovers."

 

Here are examples of men compared to my husband;

 

Seeing what is available, and not on some internet site, you can see that some Black Men are very well endowed. And trust me, Black Men endowed like the ones standing next to my husband do have experience and are very well accomplished lovers. My husband, like your boyfriend is not well hung or very good in bed. And he knows that. So, he lets me have other men for my sexual enjoyment. It has been the reason both of us have been as happy as we are for as long as we have been together.

 

As far as . . .

"As to what sort of sex to have, I'm pretty open (no pun intended) to anything. I really don't think I'd like to fuck with a guy with a condom on but guess it could be ok."

 

Condoms can be a real bother. They take away from the mood and you can't feel as much. And you don't get to experience the feeling of the new man filling you. And that is a feeling I am not willing to give up or miss out on. If a man tells me that he wants to wear a condom, he doesn't get to have sex with me. When a man tells me that he wants to wear a condom, it tells me that he doesn't want to enjoy me. He just wants to put a rubber thing in me. So, no! I hate condoms. And if you are on the pill, then that should be good enough for you to not get pregnant.

 

 

 

You can always private message me if you have other questions, too.

 

Best of luck to you,

 

DeeDee

[secondjag]

Have always hated the term "bull," but use it out of necessity.  It is so fuckin mindless.

[UK_EX]

Sound advice from the woman's point of view from DeeDee there.

 

Remember, it's all about what YOU want, after all it's your body not anyone else's.

And if your man enjoys it too, well you are a real winner.

 

The guy's cock doesn't have to be enormous for you to enjoy sex with him either, If you both like him and find the sex enjoyable, well that's just fine.

[DeeDee]

Sound advice from the woman's point of view from DeeDee there.

 

Remember, it's all about what YOU want, after all it's your body not anyone else's.

And if your man enjoys it too, well you are a real winner.

 

The guy's cock doesn't have to be enormous for you to enjoy sex with him either, If you both like him and find the sex enjoyable, well that's just fine.

 

I just like larger cocks. They just feel better, in my opinion. And the Black Men I have been with have all been pretty well sized, as you can see in the pictures.

 

Yes, there are white men who are good sized, too, but I prefer Black Men because they usually have more stamina and most can cum more than once without going soft in between.

 

To be honest, if I had a choice between

and

I would choose both.

 

I am a true believer in love and sex without limits.

 

[pats69]

So far as I saw the whole scene, my husband's pleasure was an important part of the activity. Several have suggested that the other man is there just to pleasure you but I wouldn't understate how much pleasure my husband got from being there and watching. And I would suggest that having regard to his wishes and desires is very important. And although there is pleasure from the sex act itself, those who suggest "unadulterated lust" is involved and it is "sex without limits" have it right from my perspective. You will need to give yourself entirely when you go ahead - I'm somehow sure it is what you want -  and I am sure both you and your husband will find it an incredible experience.

 

[DeeDee]

I prefer my husband to be there when I have other men. To me it makes it more pleasurable for me because not only am I receiving pleasure from the other men, I also know that I am pleasing my husband by having the other men. My husband loves to see me kissing and loving other men. And he loves to see the other men in me and making me orgasm, over and over again.

 

I rarely have other men if my husband can't be there to watch.The only time I am with other men, without my husband there, is if it just kind of happens, and there is no time to call my husband, or he can't be there for some reason. Otherwise, I prefer my husband in the room. And a lot of men like having my husband watch them please me.

 

I want my husband to be a part of the pleasure I receive from other men. It is what pleases both of us.

[Molly J]

WOW! Such a lot of good information and advice. I am really glad my BF showed me this site. Don't think he is a member here but may be. Most of you guys are so experienced in this it is not too surprising that you like it. Otherwise you wouldn't do it, but it is encouraging to know how it can be an enjoyable long term lifestyle with enjoyable and pleasurable relationships.

 

There is soooo much good information in the posts from just about all of you, especially Wavedancer & UK-EX. Especially appreciate the input from Dee Dee and Pat, though to hear of their experiences is a bit intimidating – but not in a bad way – just amazed at their openness and apparent enthusiasm about the number of men they have been with. Their husbands must be pretty exceptional as well, and love them a lot. Dee Dee, the pictures you posted of the black man's cock, compared to your hubby's – wow. Surely all black men are not that big. I really don't think I could take one that big.

 

My BF is really not that small but certainly isn't that large. He thinks he's very small but I really don't. He is just sort of shy and maybe inexperienced but is really considerate to a fault. The first time we had sex, I initiated it and he apologized for his (perceived) smallness before he even undressed. Actually, I think, while size matters, technique is much more important, So – he's not terribly small but he is very tentative in lovemaking. He knows this so I'm not embarrassing him here. In all other respects, he is a hunk. He is a personal trainer and his clients love him. He's a little older than me and played football in HS and college and has kept in shape since.

 

These responses to my post have been so helpful. And encouraging. We have been talking about this for some time now, maybe a couple of months, and with the information I've gotten here I think I want to try it – with boundaries and a full understanding by all parties of what we are gong to do in advance. We plan to go out to dinner with our friend this weekend and discuss it fully before it happens and with the understanding that if any of us is uncomfortable with anything before or after we'll call a halt.

 

Wish me luck.

 

Wavedancer – thanks for the complement on my profile pic. As you can tell, I do have exhibitionist tendencies. I'll try to post another from that same day.

 

Molly

[Molly J]

I just re-read some of the posts and want to especially thank Pat for her considerate comments.  They, as much as any, helped me make up my mind.  And if that is you in that pic - no wonder you attract other men - WOW!  While I'm not into women, if I were - well ....!!

M

[showtyme269]

In the end, you have to go with someone who makes you happy, mentally and physically. It's not something you just jump into, be prepared for what may happen afterwards.  Some women just start for the thrill and end up being attached wanting more. Both parties need to understand what it's all about, is it just great sex you want...or more

 

\

[pats69]

I just re-read some of the posts and want to especially thank Pat for her considerate comments.  They, as much as any, helped me make up my mind.  And if that is you in that pic - no wonder you attract other men - WOW!  While I'm not into women, if I were - well ....!!

M

 

Hi Molly and thanks for being so considerate (and flattering!) in what you say. I've not been with another woman either - guess fooling around with a schoolfriend doesn't really count - but I wouldn't now rule it out and I suggest you keep an open mind about the possibility, too. And, yes, the photos are of me. Your being so complimentary did tempt me to add more but I guess there isn't that much that you haven't seen already! Keep well.  Pat x

 

PS. I should have added that I admired you for posting that additional photo of yourself - even with your face partially blocked out. You look great and it is a buzz knowing that others can see you like that, isn't it. Good on you!

[UK_EX]

Good luck darlin', hope you all have a super time together.

 

I'm sure I speak for all when I say I am wishing you all the best, and waiting expectantly for an update!

 

 

It's great to have such friends on here.  Well done folks.

 

 

Bryan.

[Molly J]

Thanks UK guy - i really appreciate all the help from you and others. 

M

[pats69]

Hi Molly.  Was wondering how your thoughts are developing and whether you'd like to update us?

[Molly J]

Hi Pat - yes, I haven't been able to get on much - been busy.  Then tonight seemed to have a prob with the website.  But - update - so.  BF  (I'n gonna call him Bob and our friend James (inane I know but not real names)) and I had dinner with James on Wed and had a very honest discussion about what we are planning.  He is agreeable to do this and to our conditions - one time only until we re-evaluate, no one does anything anyone else objects to, Bob is gona be there and will watch, will do it at our place, and a few other things.  James is not available this weekend so prob next Wed night will be soonest. 

 

I am begining to really feel - I don't know - really ready.  Actually looking forward to it and seeing if it is going to be as good as adveritsed.  Bob is ready - he says.  We actually sat in a booth at the restaurant with James beside me and Bob opposite.  James put his arm around me and kissed me once but otherwise was a gentleman.  Still sort of a turn on for this southern girl to be in a restaurant and be kissed by a black man in public.  No big deal other places but could be here. Bob was fine with it. 

 

Enough - more later.  Will definitely update on Thursday.  Thanks for all the help.

 

M

[Molly J]

Thanks Pat and WD - Pat, You really are an attractive lady!  And WD - still definitely a Newbie, just a little less unsure.

 

M

[pats69]

Hi Pat - yes, I haven't been able to get on much - been busy.  Then tonight seemed to have a prob with the website.  But - update - so.  BF  (I'n gonna call him Bob and our friend James (inane I know but not real names)) and I had dinner with James on Wed and had a very honest discussion about what we are planning.  He is agreeable to do this and to our conditions - one time only until we re-evaluate, no one does anything anyone else objects to, Bob is gona be there and will watch, will do it at our place, and a few other things.  James is not available this weekend so prob next Wed night will be soonest. 

 

I am begining to really feel - I don't know - really ready.  Actually looking forward to it and seeing if it is going to be as good as adveritsed.  Bob is ready - he says.  We actually sat in a booth at the restaurant with James beside me and Bob opposite.  James put his arm around me and kissed me once but otherwise was a gentleman.  Still sort of a turn on for this southern girl to be in a restaurant and be kissed by a black man in public.  No big deal other places but could be here. Bob was fine with it. 

 

Enough - more later.  Will definitely update on Thursday.  Thanks for all the help.

 

M

 

I can see it could be a good idea to have a full discussion about everything beforehand. My own experience of that first time was very much more a "spur of the moment" thing. But I do think it a very good thing that "Bob" will be with you. I think you'll find his presence a support and if you haven't had sex in front of someone else before you'll find that quite an experience, too. It may be that you'll find "Bob" gets real excited by watching - my husband certainly did. He held my hand that first time - whilst his friend was inside me. That was a reassuring thing but his excitement certainly overcame him as his friend sped up towards his climax and my husband urged him to "fuck her hard"... "cum inside her". So, you see, they can get carried away with their own excitement!

 

You take my best wishes with you, by the way. Have fun.   

[secondjag]

Wave, Pat is lovely.  Both of you have given Molly sound, well thought out advice. Nice job.

[Molly J]

Thanks for all the recent comments, I really appreciate them.  But I don't think I will be back on until after Wednesday.  Things are fusy here and I am really just too involved in getting ready and other stuff.  Life goes on.  Gotta go shopping for a new dress.  Just don't have anything suitable for - whatever.  James is going to take me out to dinner before returning to my apt.  Bob will be waiting on us there. 

 

I'll update after the deed is done.

 

M

[UK_EX]

I'm sure you will be fine, but I am glad you're taking these precautions for the safety of both yourself, and your relationship with Bob.

 

Have fun girl.

 

Bryan