pflash99

I agree, very much, with that last statement. I think one of the reasons I like telling people is I feel like I'm doing my part to try to normalize it. Another reason I like to tell people is to see their reaction. I am surprised by how often I get a positive reaction, especially from other married women.

Well said athlete951. This lifestyle is not a bad thing. My wife and I are not ashamed and we hope it becomes more accepted. It's simply a sexual preference that involves consenting adults.

Many of our friends know. I have a nephew on my side that knows. He's an Army Ranger. He saw a lot of swinging going in the Army and was able to pick up that we were that way. He asked me point blank and I told him yes. My wife has an aunt on her side of the family that knows. This aunt has been divorced many times because she couldn't stop cheating on her husbands. She confronted my wife (her niece) because she suspected my wife was cheating. My wife confessed, to her, our lifestyle. That aunt now loves me to death.

Love the pics. Over the years, my wife and I have brought many of her bulls to family gatherings. It was so much fun and arousing to us. They thought he was just a friend of ours, when in fact, we were parading the guy my wife has the majority of her sex with. We think some of the family members were suspicious. If they watched closely, they sometimes would notice that the interaction between my wife and "our friend" was more than just friends.

The emotional challenges SandL was referring to is what many call a "down or a drop." It's a good thing she brought that up because some guys feel it and she just wants you to be prepared, in case you do. I felt it a couple of times in the beginning and, to me, it closely resembled buyers remorse. If your wife decides to go for it, once it happens, many guys feel a temporary state of depression. Believe it or not, it can be triggered by you having an ejaculation. Not all guys experience it, but if you do, take a deep breath and do nor say nothing. Do everything you can to contain your emotions because It will dissipate. The drops I experienced only lasted a few hours.

No, Playmate, I do not recommend that. That could ruin the entire cruise vacation for your wife. Worst case, your wife could get off that cruise to come home and confront you. Admitting to past indiscretions is a totally different issue. If you really want to open your marriage, you have to be on a very firm foundation. I think that will shake that foundation. If the friend "that knows" finds out you are trying to give your wife permission, she will understand why. Leave it at that. Also, asking a friend to tell your wife something you did, is putting that friend on the spot. It could ruin her friendship with your wife, because your wife may wonder why she never told her and wonder if she was involved.

Believe me, you're not alone. But as SandL stated, the beauty of it is that you both get to benefit from the freedom you give your wife. If you have been fantasizing about this for years, then you will probably enjoy it and handle it very well, if it happens. However, some guys have been known to change their minds when their fantasies become reality, lol. You sound a lot like me. I love knowing my wife is getting sex from better men than me. You would think that would drive a guy into a jealous fit, but it doesn't. I get extreme arousal from another man making my wife squeal and squirm in ways I cannot. Watching is best, but just knowing it's happening arouses me as well. So, my wife is allowed to spend time with her bf as much and as often as she wants. I'm not bad at sex, but I am very submissive with an average size cock. My wife, however, loves rough sex, big cocks, and very dominant men. So, yes, my wife is addicted to alpha men with big cocks. Of all the other men my wife has had since we've been together, it hasn't affected the love and intimacy that she and I have always shared. We hold hands when we walk together, we still kiss very passionately and truly enjoy each other's conversation. We still have fun sex and she will even give me blow jobs, but she knows I prefer her to have the majority of her sex with her bf. She and I have sex probably twice a month on average, but she has sex almost every day with her bf or bf's.

You simply have to figure out a way to breach the subject. Her reactions can vary. It could upset her, she could be indifferent, she could laugh. If you're lucky, she could show interest immediately, but that would be rare. Expect her to be suspicious of your motives. She may wonder if you're feeling guilty for something you have done or looking for permission for yourself. Either way, expect her to be against the idea, at least at first. However, breaching the subject with her will definitely plant a seed of thought in her mind. If she gets upset by the idea, don't push it. Allow that seed of thought to grow in her mind. My wife and I started early in our relationship. We were in our early 20's and in college. It's rare for couples to start at an early age like us and be successful. So, I consider ourselves to be very lucky. But, we have many, many friends that started later in life as you are. Most of them offered the idea but didn't actually take the first step until a few years later. Yep, it took that long for the seed to grow. So patience, on your part, is vital. Keep this in mind, though. If your wife does agree, there may be no turning back. Wives that decide to try it, often start off reluctant, then love it. When you give freedom to a person, they usually don't want to give it up, lol

True. My wife wore one to a photo shoot. I bought her a boudoir photo session and the anklet she wore had a female symbol charm with male symbol charms on each side. The female photographer noticed it and asked her what it meant. My wife told her, in a very matter of fact way, that one male symbol stood for me (her husband) and the other stood for her bf, lol.

My wife wears one every day, everywhere she goes. She has about fifteen different types, but we are amazed at how unnoticed they go. However, my wife dresses very seductively. So, maybe that's why. We love how she gets disapproving looks from women yet grins from men, lol.

It depends on where we are. If we're at home, she'll be naked. We live near Denver, so if we're at the Scarlet Ranch swingers club, she'll be naked. If we are at one of the many clothing optional hot springs in Colorado, she'll be naked. If we're at none of those locations, she'll probably be naked.

We were in college. We weren't married at the time, but we were engaged and living together. I was in Air Force ROTC at my university, and he was a friend of mine, in ROTC as well. His name was Lou. He and I got along very well and became friends. As we got to know each other, we realized we lived right around the corner from each other. He had just broken up with a girlfriend, so I told my wife (I'll call her Tiff, and she was my fiance' at the time) about him. She was a student too but loved to cook, so she told me I should invite him over for dinner. He accepted and when he showed up, I immediately saw the look on Tiff's face. Lou was an exceptionally nice looking guy and very well built. I knew this and expected Tiff to find him attractive. However, Tiff is smoking hot and I could tell Lou found her attractive, as well. The dinner invites continued and I saw the attraction between the two of them grow. At this point, most normal men would feel jealousy and try to keep them apart, lol. However, I found myself fantasizing about the two of them having sex. It was very confusing to me. I knew I should have been jealous as hell, but I wasn't. Instead, my fantasy of the two of them having sex was overwhelming and blocked out the jealousy. I was about 19 or 20 yrs old, at the time. I knew nothing about swinging or even the term "cuckold", but my fantasy of Tiff fucking Lou was so strong, it was hard to concentrate on my studies. The next semester, Tiff and Lou ended up taking a class together. A couple of weeks into the semester, Tiff asked me if I minded her studying with Lou. Again, any normal man would have been jealous and said: "yes, I do mind." Not me. My fantasy was so strong, I wanted to give Tiff every opportunity to fuck Lou that I could. They started off studying on campus at the union and library, but after a few weeks, Tiff asked if I cared if she studied with him at his apartment. My fantasy took over, again, and I told her "absolutely not." All of this happened back in the '80s, so my recollection of specific details could be inaccurate. Nevertheless, I knew that if Tiff, truly wanted to fuck Lou, and I knew she did, I had given her the greatest possible opportunity. Tiff was not a dummy. She was surprised by how generous and trusting I was with her and Lou, but it also made her a little suspicious. One night, as she and I started fooling around, she asked me if I had any sexual fantasies. I chuckled and said, "hell yeah, everybody has sexual fantasies, right?" She giggled but agreed. Then she asked me what my fantasies were. I knew this was potentially dangerous territory to talk about, but I was glad she asked. Before I could answer, she interrupted and said, "oh, let me guess, you would like me to share you with another woman." I grinned and said, "although I wouldn't mind that, that's not my biggest fantasy." She grinned and asked, "really, what is your biggest fantasy." I knew this was my time of reconning. Should I be honest, or not? I went for it. I told her my biggest fantasy was sharing her with another guy. I'll never forget the look on her face. I was hoping this moment would come but scared as hell how it would turn out. Luckily, the look on her face was surprise with a big grin. She hadn't responded yet, but I was already feeling relief. As she laid there with me licking her pussy, she asked, "really?" I grinned, sheepishly, and said "yeah." Then, she asked if there was a particular guy I fantasized sharing her with. I chuckled and hesitated to answer. Then, she asked, "really, I want to know." I told her that I had been fantasizing about her fucking Lou since last semester. The surprised look on her face got bigger. She asked, "really, you want me to fuck Lou?" I told her "yes, I hope you would like to fuck Lou, because I would love it, if you did." She giggled but kept staring at me. I rose up on her and stabbed my cock into her. She stared at me as I started ramming my cock into her. I looked her in the eyes and asked, "do you want to fuck Lou?" She grinned and said: "yes, I would love to fuck Lou." Those words drove me to orgasm quickly. The next morning I could tell she was a little pensive. It had me a little worried. I was about to break the ice and ask if she was upset about our conversation last night. Before I could, she came out of the bathroom and asked: "are you sure you want me to fuck Lou?" I laughed and that put a grin on her face. I replied: "I can't explain it, but the thought of you fucking Lou, turns me on like nothing else." Then she said something that made so much sense. She grinned at me and said, "well, we can't help what turns us on." Then, I asked her, "do you think you could fuck Lou and not fall out of love with me?" She stared at me grinning and thinking. Then, she said: "I don't want to marry Lou, but, yeah, I'd love to fuck him." I grinned at her and said, "then go for it." She admitted that he had been hitting on her pretty hard. So, the ball was in her court. That night she was supposed to meet Lou, at his apartment to study. I could tell she was dressed to seduce Lou. Not that he needed to be seduced. She was freshly showered, so she smelled wonderful. She was wearing sandals, tiny shorts with no panties and a tank top with no bra. Fairly common wear for her, but this particular tank top had large arm holes and is she leaned forward, it would show a lot of side boob. I walked her around the corner, to his apartment, as usual. As I watched her go into Lou's apartment, she turned and smiled at me. I did feel anxiety as I walked back to our apartment, but I was also hard as a rock. I masturbated at least two times while she was at Lou's. When Tiff got back that night, she walked into our apartment and was grinning. She could tell I was busting at the seams to know what happened, but she just grinned at me. Finally, I looked at her and asked "well?" She grinned at me and asked, "well, what?" I chuckled and asked, "did you fuck him?" She chuckled and said, "hell yeah, and I sucked his dick, too." She was acting so normal, I couldn't tell if she was being serious, or just teasing me. So, in my excitement, I asked for the details. I need to stop here. I'll continue with the rest of the story soon. Hopefully in a few days. Paul

You have to say something and plant the seed of the thought in her head. My wife and I just started talking about sexual fantasies, one day, years ago, I was nervous and it probably would have helped had we been a little tipsy or me balls deep in her. Nevertheless, she was expecting me to tell her I wanted to have sex with her and another woman at the same time. She was quite surprised when I told her, that, although I wouldn't mind having sex with two women, my true fantasy was watching her have sex with another man. I knew she was shocked and I was worried she might leave me, but she stared at me, grinning. Her initial response was: "no, I could never do that." Then she asked if there was a guy I fantasized about her being with. It was a friend of ours and I knew she was sexually attracted to him by the way she acted with him when he was around. In fact, I had been wondering if she had been cheating with him anyway. She just laughed and giggled about it for a while. Then, she started asking if I was imagining him fucking her, while we had sex. My response was always yes. Long story short, she finally agreed. She admitted he had been hitting on her and the next time he did she would go for it. Feel free to pm me if you want the long version, lol.

Hi bobbie. If you guys have been talking about it for years, then you two are probably ready. Take it slow and communicate. Set boundaries, but expect them to change a little. Like any type of relationship, it evolves over time. My wife and I have been doing this for years. We actually started in college, before we got married. We are now in our 50's. My wife has had long-term bf's at times and multiple bf's at times. There are advantages to both, but my wife and I prefer having one, long-term bf. I like the long-term bf's more because I get to know them, as well, and I have actually ended up being very good friends with them. She likes them because it's usually less drama and more stable. The short term bf's, however, give her variety. Good luck with your adventure. If you truly are a cuckold, you will find out very quickly after you guys get started. I have never gotten tired of watching my wife get hours of pleasure from another man's cock.

My wife calls me a "catch" to her friends, as well, and I have never doubted the love she has for me, one bit. I don't own her body, but I do own her heart, and she lets me know that all the time. We, also, think this lifestyle is more common than most people think. I'd love to read the articles you're sending Steve. I may have already read some of them, but I'm curious about my psychology as much as Steve is.

My wife has, definitely, conditioned me. And, she said it was easy, lol. All she has to do is start talking about her bf and I get aroused. It doesn't even have to be explicit details of the sex they have. My hat is off to Steve. I've met many men that took years to come out of the closet, to their wives, about their cuckold desires. I have never gotten tired of watching my wife have hours of fun with another man's cock. Especially the big ones. I told my wife, years ago, that a big part of my kink is knowing she is fucking bigger cocks than mine. Luckily, she loves big cocks, so she has no problem granting my desires.

This really isn't as uncommon as you may think. Especially thanks to new DNA testing kits, lol. My good friend is one of seven siblings. Their ages span, about 20 years. Recently, he and his siblings, all, decided to take a DNA test. It turned out that three of his siblings have a different father. The father they thought was theirs passed away several years ago and so did the other father. The mother is still alive, so they brought this to her attention. He told me his mother started crying but has decided to stay mum about the whole thing. Although they would have liked to have known the other father, he and his other siblings are not upset by this, at all. In fact, most of them find it hilarious. The three siblings, from the other father, aren't the youngest, oldest, nor grouped in the middle. Their ages span over 10 years, so the other father was, definitely a long-term relationship. He and his siblings find it hard to believe that their mother could have been cheating. To keep her relationship with the other man hidden from their father for so long, plus give birth to three of his kids over a ten year span, seems impossible to keep a secret. My friend, who is the second oldest of his siblings, is a long-time cuckold. like me. He thinks his dad was like him and had a long-term polyamorous, threeway relationship with his mom and the other father.

Like you guys said, pay it forward. Experience is the best teacher, so if I can share my own experiences to help others, I do. Don't worry Steve, there are many, many men out there that are like you. I came out of the closet with it, with my wife, many years ago and I am so glad I did. Paul

Like any relationship, it evolves. So, this journey will change, slowly, over time. What excites you should stay pretty consistent, though. As you guys continue, your comfort level will improve and what gives you anxiety will probably fade. In the beginning, I let my wife play solo and I felt the anxiety you did. When I was finally allowed to watch, each time I did, the anxiety dropped. The three of us got more and more comfortable with each other. I still get the most enjoyment out of watching, but I feel no anxiety, whatsoever, anymore when she is playing solo. In fact, I get arousal when I know she's playing solo, just not as much as when I watch.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with this as long as the child is raised with the same love and caring. If my wife gave birth to another man's child, I could easily raise it and love it like it were mine. Question: Does the biological father know? If so, do you and your husband keep him involved?

My wife and I tried conceiving for years, with no luck. We both went through testing and it turned out we both had issues that could prevent conception. While talking with one of the docs about my low motility, he told us one option was to consider a sperm donor from a sperm bank. We looked into it, but didn't like the idea of not knowing, or even meeting the donors we could choose from. Plus, the insemination would have been quite expensive. I was in Air Force flight school at the time, but she and I had some experience in the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle while we were in college. We started tossing around the idea of asking one of my single, male classmates in flight school to be the donor and not through clinical insemination. His name was Mike. He was an Air Force Academy graduate and football player. He had a fun loving, laid back personality and was quite attractive and well built. Needless to say, my wife was extremely excited at the thought of bearing his child. However, I found myself heavily aroused by the thought of it, as well. I knew Mike found my wife attractive. He told me, more than once, how hot my wife was. That may sound inappropriate, but that's how a lot of military guys are. We are not usually politically correct. Plus, I had already told Mike stories about sharing my wife with a couple of my friends in college and how much I enjoyed watching her take another man's cock. When I told Mike of our situation, he didn't even wait for me to finish before he grinned at me and said "I'd love to get your wife pregnant." When I told him that we needed him to have sex with her at least once a day, he just grinned and asked "when do we start." I chuckled and asked "are you busy tonight?" He grinned back and said "sounds like I will be now." We both laughed. Then, I grinned at him and asked if he minded me watching, because I'd like to get something out of this too. He grinned back at me and said "hell no, but I better warn you, I have a ten inch cock." I grinned back and said "ooooh, she's gonna love that." I'm not small. I'm about 8 inches, so my wife has never complained about my size. But, I knew she was gonna love this and I was getting excited for her. I called my wife and told her of the conversation. She yelled "TONIGHT?" I could hear the nervousness and excitement in her voice but quickly agreed to it. Long story, short, Mike ended up moving in with us and I gave him exclusivity with my wife for about three months. We thought she was pregnant a couple of times, but she ended up getting her period late. My wife would get very depressed when she got her period, but having Mike in our lives was a huge plus. One night, after getting her period, she looked at me with teary eyes, ready to give up trying. I grinned at her and said "if your're ready to give up, that's fine, but If you want to keep having sex with Mike, I'm totally ok with that." It quickly snapped her out of her depression. She grinned at me and said "oh hell yeah, I love fucking him."

I do hope it helped. This type of lifestyle can be quite exciting, but clear, open communication with your husband is vital. Learn his limits, likes and dislikes. No matter how much you enjoy the sex with your bf, always keep the relationship with your husband primary. Since we started this, my wife has had more than one bf. A few started getting too possessive and she quickly ended it. Also, keep in mind, physical only relationships usually don't last very long. Her current bf has lasted longer than any others, but she and I expect him to drift away eventually, as well. So, don't let yourself get too attached to your bf. If you do, you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak. So, just enjoy the sex while it lasts. There is nothing wrong if that happens, and believe me, there is a never ending supply of good, healthy men that just want a sex only relationship for a while.

I didn't read all of the replies, so forgive me if I suggest something that has already been mentioned. I am the hubby. Have you thought about videoing your activities with your boy friend and letting your husband watch them later. This is a good step to take. If that goes well, then maybe do a facetime. If your husband handles both of those well, then, more than likely, he is prepared to watch in person. This is how my wife and I did it. I wanted to watch her with another man right away, but she was worried I would freak out. Now, she actually enjoys it when I watch. I'm not sure what your boundaries are, nor what your husband's limits are, but once you and your bf are comfortable with your husband being present, it opens up more exciting opportunities. I am, now, very good friends with my wife's bf. We live in Colorado and he and I will actually ski and mountain bike together. We have progressed to doing threesomes, and the three of us go out together. Although she spends the night at his house a good bit, he will also spend the night at our house. When he does, the three of us share our king size bed. The three of us just took a short vacation to San Diego together. When we checked into our hotel, the young girl, checking us in, was a little confused that we reserved a room with a king bed, but there were three of us. The young girl asked if we would prefer two queen beds. I grinned at her and said "no, it's me, my wife and her boy friend, we're used to sharing a king." The young girl grinned at my wife and said "lucky woman." My wife's bf is 15 yrs younger than she and I. We have been doing this for several months now and he has shown no intent of taking my wife away from me and she has shown no indication of wanting to leave me for him. They just really enjoy having sex with each other. He has a bigger cock than I do and he gets erections much more frequently than I can. He makes my wife orgasm in ways that I cannot and I, absolutely, love watching him bring so much pleasure to my wife. This may sound odd, but I actually get more arousal watching my wife have sex with her bf than having sex with her myself. They both know this, so she, currently, has more sex with him than she does with me. She is ok with it as long as she and I still have sex, at least, a few times a week. Good luck with your adventure. Our's has been very successful so far.

For my wife, it depends on how the term is delivered. My wife knows she is a slut and doesn't mind being called a slut in the heat of passion. Her favorite bf is extremely respectful to her and treats her like a princess outside of the bedroom. However, he loves calling her his little slut during sex. It bothered her at first, but she admits she kind of likes it now. I blame society and current morals. Men have no problem admitting to being sluts, so why should women? Yet, again, another inequality between the sexes.

After about 15 yrs of marriage, I revealed my fantasy to my wife. She refused at first and had the usual assumptions that I was looking for permission, as well. Nevertheless, she would ask questions about my fantasy and we would joke about it from time to time. Finally, the right guy came along. He disappeared afterwards, so It was a one night stand with him. However, it proved to her that she could do it and it proved to me that my fantasy could survive reality. She now has two regular bf's. One is out of town and she will drive to his house and spend a night with him. The other is local and will come to our house and we will have a threesome. She loves it now and wishes we would have started years ago. She wants to be gang banged by about 3 or 4 guys, so we are working on that.