secondjag

15 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Jag you definitely have it all and then some. Peter you're missing out.

Peter,  this site can't afford to lose guys like you.  I'm serious dude.

 

Gonna spoil ya but listen;  put the fuckin sound on!!   (26 vids)  Be nice to hear from you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We got it all.  Peter,  where are you?

 

"I've got to get to the doctor and renew my prescription of birth control pills. I can't afford to get pregnant!" Edna said to her friend, Priscilla.
"But I thought you said your husband had a vasectomy,"
Priscilla responded. "He did." replied Enda.

What did the wife do when she found out her husband was gay?
She turned around and took it like a man.

A mother was buying her a pair of shoes and whilst trying them on, the asks, "Why have they got L and R written on them?" Her mother replied, "So you know which feet to put them on." Her then says, "Is that why I have C&A written on my knickers?"

Let's try it this new way," said Jack
As he winked at the girl in the sack.
She turned and she grunted,
"I should be affronted,
But this time I'm taken aback!"

A Postman was retiring after 35 years of service. The town's people appreciated his work, and presented him different gifts.

In one house a young lady took him to her bedroom gave him good sex, a lavish lunch and 10 Rupees.

The Postman was very happy and asked "But why the 10 Rupees?"

Lady: "Actually yesterday, I asked my husband what to present you?"

He said *"Fuck him, just give him 10 Rupees"*

"But the lunch was my idea." 

 

 

20 hours ago, cucksean said:

Such awesome ring shots!

glad u dig it Sean

 

 

A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."

Little Bo Peep, has lost her sheep,
And doesn't know where to find 'em...
But a search revealed,
They were out in the field,
With Little Boy Blue behind 'em.

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
she thinks they went to Buckingham
but when they were found
they were all gagged and bound
and Little Boy Blue was phucking'em.

 

One lady from east Pennsylvania

Had a rather unorthodox mania:

She'd shave her dates' heads,

Strap them tight to their beds

And then masturbate on their bald crania.

A low-life from Summit, New Jersey

Had a thing about women in furs. He

Would sneak up behind,

Pull his putz out and grind

Till he'd cream in a stream like the Mersey.

"I bought a racehorse today."
"Oh, really?  What is the horse's name, gender, timing, and whatare you going to do with him??
"I've decided to call him 'My Face.' He is male, runs a mile in just under a minute.  I don't care if he doesn't win a race or if he makes me any money."
"Then why'n the hell did ya buy him??
I just want to hear thousands of those uppity posh bitches at the race course shouting:  “'Come on, My Face!' GOD I'd love to hear that!”

 

 

Nailed it Gunner.

 

 

Two girls were discussing their heavy smoking habits.
"I get such a yen for a cigarette," said one, "that the only effective countermeasure is to pop a Life Saver into my mouth and suck strongly."
"That's all very well for you," huffed her friend.
"But I don't happen to live in a house that's right on the beach!"

No bananas she said, with a sigh,
And a tear trickled down from her eye.
No cukes, no zucchinis,
No Oscar Meyer weenies,
"I'll have to go find me a guy."

My dental hygienist, Faye Ray,
Said, "Travis, eat pussy each day;
Your gums will be stronger,
Your teeth will last longer,
Coz pussy prevents tooth decay!"

Three golfers had a big golf game with a client in Arizona. They were running late, and as luck would have it, their car broke down. They found a repair garage nearby. 

The mechanic told them it would take four hours to fix their car. But he also told them, "You're in luck. I have a camel that the three of you can ride over to the golf course. This camel is smart. He can read stoplights - he'll stop and go just as the light directs." 

So, the three of them pile on the camel, golf clubs and all and took off.
An hour later the mechanic saw the three of them standing a couple of miles down the road and the camel was not in sight.
"What in the world happened and where's my camel?"
"Well, we had stopped at that light, and a car pulled up alongside of us. The guy in the car stuck his head out the window and said, 'Look at the three nuts on that camel!!'"
When we got off to look, the beast took off when the light turned green."

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whisky at a local pub. 
As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree. 
As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. 
They saw him, and one said, “I’ve always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt.” 
She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth. 
Her friend said, “Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!”
So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around his manhood, and the two walked away. 
Sometime later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature, and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. 
He raised his kilt... and saw where the blue ribbon was tied. 
After several moments of bewilderment, the Scotsman said, “I don know where y’been, lad...but it’s nice t’ know y’ won first prize!”

 

 

Wake up!  Kick out the jams motherfuckers (RIP).   (9 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 2/6/2024 at 10:41 AM, Gunner3.5 said:

A couple of nice ones for your enjoyment 

Gunner!  Holy fuck!  Dude; I'm so impressed and thanks for the post.

Question, when wifey is playing do they ever let you play with them?  Or, not your thing?

So, sorry if there's any duplicates or previous posts.  Too busy to go through them lately and,  I confess,  this place gets to me to the point I just don't give a shit.

 

 

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting.

The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."

The Catholic, waived off this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."

To which the Mormon replied, "You guys ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1000.
It happened again the next week.
The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate.
This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.
"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"
The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"
The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."

Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom.
"Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"
"Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment  her. Chicks love to be complimented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand."
About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye.
"Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked.
"I took your advice."
"Didn't you compliment her?"
"Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too."
"It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said.
"Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment."
"What did you say?"
"For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much."

A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport.
It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness.
The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.
Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. 
The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.
The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Green Bay Packer Tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"
Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"
The cabby said, "I'd cover him up with that blanket before he catches a cold."

 

 

7 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Thanks Jag! All the rocking was done by those two and the spashing and every other move he could think of. Had a suite with a private pool. Glad it had a pool filter. Large walk in shower with benches , they used them. A great time was had by all, I do believe they enjoyed theirs alittle more. Peter get it going brother you're really missing out. Nothing quite like it.🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

sounds like a really nice place and a perfect setting.  glad u guys dug it

5 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ five out of five stars ggentleman, he performed admirably! Just like the caption. Thought she had drained me Friday night, not even close. I worked out alot more watching them. Our friend Peter is missing out BIG time!

Dude you rock.  And yes Peter,  I think Gunner is pointing you in the right direction.  Your brother from another mother is trying to get you to the Promised Land.

Ok, possible some repeats;  don't have the time lately to go through everything.  lol,  too much coming in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wonderful Dober.  A thing of beauty.

a Sunday escape.   (10 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

now that was a fun read

There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, you're a tight 'n.
She cried “'pon my soul
You're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one.”

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin, and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So, what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, they guy reaches for his cigarettes But, the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "HEY, IT'S NOT A LIFE SENTENCE!"

 

 

 

6 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Jag I see your having fun with the captions,  meanwhile I'm making this one work out tomorrow night. Just like it says "Anniversary" night.

Dude; you the man!!  Happy anniversary to you and your beloved.  And giving her a gift she can actually use - smart man!  I hope you both enjoy it to its fullest.

having fun with these captions.