secondjag

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, 
"Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year, I'm gonna do it a little different! The last few years, I took your advice about where to go... 
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Becky Sue got pregnant... 
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas. I went to the Bahamas and Becky Sue got pregnant again. 
Last year you suggested Tahiti. I went to Tahiti and darned if Becky Sue didn't get pregnant again." 
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?" 
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Becky Sue with me." 

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who took a sly peep through a shutter.
But all he could see
was his wife's twitching knee
And the arse of the man that was up her.

There was a young woman in Dee
Who stayed with each man she did see.
When it came to a test
She wished to be best,
And practice makes perfect, you see.

 

 

Gonna be a long one.  Knock yourself out.   (50 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office.
"What's wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol.
"It's my boyfriend," gushes Judi. "He was working on the engine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!"
"My god," shrieks Carol. "Did it chop off his WHOLE finger!?"
"No thank goodness," sniffs Judi. "But it was the one just next to it!"

What do rednecks do for Halloween?
Pump kin.

One day, a blonde and a brunette were out for a ride in the blonde's new car. Suddenly, some jerk pulled in front of them. The blonde then put her lips on the steering wheel.
The brunette feared for her life, but had the courage to ask, "What are you doing?!" The blonde calmly replied, "I'm trying to blow the horn."

Once a young and devout holy roller,
Had a boyfriend attempt to console her.
She'd gone down on his cock,
That was hard as a rock...
Chipped a tooth, plus she knocked out a molar.

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date, nor any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist.

Her MD recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well-known sex therapist. So, she went to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “OK, take off all your crose.” So she did. “Now, get down and crawl reery fass to the other side of room.”

So, she did.

Dr. Chang then said, “OK now crawl reery fass to me.”

So, she did.

Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said “Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, that why you not haf sex or dates.”

Confused, the woman asked, “What is Ed Zachary Disease?”

Dr. Chang replied, “It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass.”

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals."
The teacher asked, "Really? And what four little animals would that be, sugar?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed, and of course, I'll need a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.

 

 

 

5 minutes ago, Gunner3.5 said:

I'd say you about covered it all their my friend.  Love the wedding ring shots! Showed the wife the last part,  asked if she found anything interesting. She saw a couple that really peaked her interest.  Great job as usual 

man, gotta say I love hearing your wife dug it.  thanks.

hey,  I haven't heard from Peter in a while.  he ok?

20 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Well Jag first off excellent post!! Second if the lesson is to post hotter content I'd say you got that down pat! Other than that I guess fuck them.

lol, killing me Gunner,  thanks.

Ok, today we got a little sumpin for everybody

 

 

this site has tried to punish me.  ask yourself;  do you think I've learned my lesson???

 

 

 

 

you never know, do ya?   (8 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sound on brats.   (9 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You need it???   (9 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sorry,  prob some duplicates

 

 

nice to see ya Sean

 

A man walks into a bar in the outback, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10, who stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

First, you have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."

"Second, there's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."

"Third, there's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."

The man is stunned!

"I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight; then, nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.

He drunkenly says, "Now, where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"

There once was a woman named Jess--
Bisexual, she'd readily confess.
She loved a good dick,
but pussy she'd lick,
and leave both a wet gooey mess.

Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily,
Liked to screw with a friendly Israeli.
Just the thought of his schmuck
Got her ready to fuck,
Which they did six or seven times daily.

 

 

 

more for my peeps.   (19 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok Hardy,  you like the long ones eh?  Let's see if it lets me post this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."
"Sir", replied to the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"
"You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"

We all knew a man named Matt
Who was short, bald, ugly, and fat.
I'm willing to bet,
The only pussy he gets
Is when he goes home to his cat.

There once was a man named Mort
Whose dick was incredibly short.
He climbed into bed
And his lady friend said,
"That's not a dick, it's a wart.

 

 

 

 

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. So, he stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. 
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. 
The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg. 
She immediately says "Father, remember Psalm 129." 
The priest apologizes profusely and removes his hand but is unable to remove his eyes from her leg. 
Further on when he changes gear and has ogled at her leg for the zillionth time, he lets the hand slide up the leg again. 
The Nun once again says "Father, remember Psalm 129." 
Once again, the priest apologizes "Sorry, sister, but you know the flesh is weak." 
Arriving at the convent the nun gets out and the priest goes on his way. 
Once he arrives at his church he rushes to the bible and looks up Psalm 129 it said: "GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND GLORY" 

The breasts of a barmaid from Crale,
Were tattooed with the price of brown ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in braille.

One Sunday morning, a young woman, who needed forgiveness for her sins, came to a Baptist church.
She got up in front of the congregation and stated, "Last week, I slept with a young soldier who picked me up at a bar, and now I ask the Lord's forgiveness."
"Hallelujah!", cried the congregation.
She continued, "Two days ago, I slept with a young sailor, but now I ask the Lord's forgiveness."
"Hallelujah!", cried the congregation again.
"But tonight, because I have come here and done my penance, I will sleep with the Lord," she finished.
But before the congregation could respond, an old drunk in the back yelled out in a clear voice, "That's right momma, fuck 'em all."

Softly seductive young Brenda
Wants a man who is sweet, kind, and tender,
And thoughtful and bright,
And sexually right
But mostly a very big spender.

She wasn't what one would call pretty,
And other girls offered her pity,
So nobody guessed,
The paternity test,
Would involve half the men in the city.

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever made love to a woman.
"Tarzan not know lovemake," he replied.
Jane explained to him what it was. Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."
Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground. "Here." she said, pointing to her privates, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her right in the crotch!
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for??!!"
"Always check for squirrel."

 

 

 

Here we go.  You know I keep getting sent these captions;  some are pretty good.  Hope you enjoy

 

 

 

alright then.   sound on.  (9 vids)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Gunner.  Glad u dug it.

 

Nice Dober,  I love those pics where the pussy just doesn't want to let go of the dick.