secondjag

a little something (7 vids)

 

One night, the waitress in a bar was a bit unsettled that a strange looking man who sat quietly drinking at the bar always seemed to be looking at her intently. Finally, he got up enough nerve to speak to her.
"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I do hope you don't mind my looking at you."
She told him she would rather he didn't look so hard, and that she didn't consider herself that special.
"Well, you see I am from a far-away planet, sent here to observe some things here and I have to go back tonight. So, you see, I really haven't seen anyone like you before. Please just let me look."
So she said ok, although she thought he was a little nuts. He did mind his manners, didn't get drunk, and just sat quietly looking.
When it was time to close the bar, he prepared to leave, then walked back to the waitress.
"I know this is strange, but would you please let me see your tits? I've never seen anything like this and it would mean so very much to me if I could go home and tell of my friends all about you."
Since everyone but the owner had left and he was in the back room, she finally gave in and unbuttoned her blouse and pulled her tits out of her bra.
"Oh my goodness, that is wonderful! Thank you! Thank you!  You don't know how much this means to me!"

When she started to gather her clothes around her again, he asked shyly, "Please, please, let me just touch your tits. It would mean so much to me to be able to tell all the guys about how wonderful you are."
After a little consideration, she allowed him to touch. He was very gentle and she was beginning to get stirred up by this alien. Then he asked her if she would allow him to make love to her.
Since she was beginning to fancy that notion, she agreed right away. To her surprise, however, he placed his right forefinger in the middle of her forehead quite firmly. As he did so, she could see the passion on his face and he called out, "Aah, ahh, aaaahhhhh."
Then he took his finger from her forehead.

Astonished, she asked him if he'd like to do it again.
Looking at his curled-up forefinger, he replied, "Yes, but I'll have to wait a little while."

 

8 hours ago, cucksean said:

You are so awesome Jag

nice of you to say so buddy.  here's a bonus for the kind words.  ( 2 vids)

 

 

 

8 hours ago, cucksean said:

I so love cream pies Jag thank you!

always appreciate the kind words Sean; thanks

8 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Outstanding post Gunner; thanks

 

A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis.
He called in his receptionist to show her.
She took one look and said, "It's just like my husband's penis."
"Wow, you mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked.
"No," she replied. "That dead."

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.
The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner.
So, that night at dinner, she does. About a week later she's back at the doctor. She says, "Doc, the pill worked great!! I put it in the potatoes as you said! It wasn't five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravages me right on the table!"
The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
"Naah," she says, "that's okay. We aren't going back to Beefeater's anyway."

 

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex.

The mother is going up and down on the father, and when she sees her looking at them she immediately stops.

“What are you doing, Mommy?”

The mother is too embarrassed to tell her little girl about sex, so, she makes up an answer. “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.”

The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.”

The mother has a confused look on her face. “Why do you say that sweetheart?”

The little girl replies, “Because mommy, every time you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”

 

'Cause that's my funday  ( 10 vids)

 

41 minutes ago, Dirtyfun1 said:

Just for the record i would not mind you posting while I was working on your big dick 

a little something for your trouble Dirty (3 vids)

 

23 minutes ago, Dirtyfun1 said:

Just for the record i would not mind you posting while I was working on your big dick 

aww, thanks Dirty.  She hates when I do it 'cause I'm so distracted; cracks me up to see how swollen her lips get before she goes back to hubby

2 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Damnit Jag now I'm going to have to break open the new case of lube, thanks brother! Great bunch of pics!

my pleasure Gunner, glad u dug it

Breakfast is served

 

8 hours ago, Hardyorkie said:

Jag

Great stuff as ever.

Love the eye contact in the last one.

glad u dug it Hardy. yep, beautiful eyes

lol, love posting as I'm getting my dick sucked. lmao, don't think she digs it.  ( 8 vids)

 

I usually go through the stuff before I post   Too tired today,  Maybe something in here tickles your fancy

 

Rarely include vids with latex  (5 vids) sound on.  includes on topic

 

 

At a couples’ retreat, Sam and Anni were told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.' 

Anni wrote: 'When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree, and that they respect each other very much, just like Sam and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.'

And Sam wrote: 'I love sex.'

Mr. Cadbury and Ms. Rowntree went off for the weekend.
It was After Eight. She was from Quality Street and he was a Fisherman’s Friend. On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar. He had a Rum and Butter and she had a Wine Gum. He asked her name. She said Polo, I'm the one with the hole. But I'm the one with the Nuts he thought.
Then he touched her Milky Way. They checked in and went straight to the bedroom. Mr. Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt the contrast of her Double Deckers.
Then he showed her his Curly Wurly. But Ms. Rowntree wasn't keen as she already had a few Jelly Babies, So, she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge nudging. It was a Magic Moment as she let out of scream of Turkish Delight. When he came out his Fun Sized Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie.
She wanted more, but he decided to take a Time Out. However, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing. So, he did a Twirl and had a Picnic in her Sherbert. At the same time he gave her a Gob Stopper. Unfortunately, Mr. Cadbury had to go home to his wife Caramel.
Sadly, he was soon to discover he had caught V.D. It turns out Ms. Rowntree had a Box of Assorted Creams. She really had been with All Sorts.

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work."
The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again.
"I do what you say, and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."

 

1 hour ago, Dirtyfun1 said:

Yes sir it is her in the last pic inspecting the new cage 

sweet Dirty; stunning woman

Seem to be lots of new members lately so prob a good time to remind that in most cases, if you see a pic you like (especially if you see your wife in a pic,lol), just click on it for larger, sharper image.

 

What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with?
Whatever she wants. He's sleeping.

There was a young lady named Flo.
Whose lover had pulled out too slow.
So they tried it all night
'Till he got it just right.
Well, practice makes pregnant, you know.

There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who professed to no sexual feeling.
Til a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.