secondjag

A woman stands naked across the street watching me masturbate, and I’m the pervert?

What did the leper say to the hooker after she gave him a blow job?
Keep the tip.

Why are condoms transparent?
So the sperm can enjoy the scenery, silly.

Four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to Oz.

After frightening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard himself.
"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage."
"No problem," says the Wizard. "WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward and says, "Well... Well... Well... I need a brain."
"Done," says the Wizard. "WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD?"
Up steps George Bush sadly: "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"I've heard that it's true," says the Wizard. "Consider it done."
Then there is a great silence.
Bill Clinton just stands there, looking around, but doesn't say a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE EMERALD CITY?"
"Is Dorothy around?"

 

Whatcha think?  All that dick gonna fit in her?  Nice post Gunner, thanks

1 hour ago, cucksean said:

Jag you are awesome!!!

Aww shucks Sean, lol.  Thanks buddy

 

Until it went  (6 vids)  sound on

 

 

these should have gone here, my bad.  get busy

 

3 hours ago, Utahmilfmom said:

this looks fun

 

glad u dug it Utah

 

Anybody not know Betty and Veronica?

 

ahh, and so it goes... (4 vids)

 

A man was sitting at a bar, morosely staring at his untouched beer.
The bartender walked over with a sigh, and asked "What's the problem, pal?"
"My brother just told me that there's a sperm bank in his neighborhood that pays $40 for a donation."
"Yeah, so?"
"Don't you realize?" the man cried. "I've let a fortune slip through my fingers!"

 

What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?
Your wife!

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the wife said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time." The husband thought for a few moments, then said, "Your pussy is tighter than your sister's."

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"
Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."
The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."
Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."
Being old school he took a rag, soaked it with a little gasoline, and dabbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said, "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block."
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"
The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

 

6 minutes ago, cucksean said:

In my book you are definitely number 1!!!

Thanks man, you're the best

 

58 minutes ago, cucksean said:

You are truly amazing Jag...that first one in this last set is like omg hot!  Thank you!!

Thanks Sean, much appreciated.  I notice again bullshit with the numbers; it's getting old

 

I swear I spoil ya, bonus because it's Sunday (5 vids)

 

A lot of creampies there Gunner.  would have fit better on my string "Breakfast of Champions, enjoy."  thanks for sharing.

A bunch for the boot lovers today

 

 

Exceptional Dober.  Fucking great!!

Jackpot!!! Way too much for one post.  Broke into 4, enjoy 'em all.  Post 4 of 4

 

Jackpot!!! Way too much for one post.  Broke into 4, enjoy 'em all.  Post 3 of 4

 

Jackpot!!! Way too much for one post.  Broke into 4, enjoy 'em all.  Post 2 of 4

 

Jackpot!!! Way too much for one post.  Broke into 4, enjoy 'em all.  Post 1 of 4

 

How do you make your husband scream during sex?

Call him and let him hear it.

McCreedy is sitting at the bar jerking his meat. The bartender says, "Look, Mac, you've got to get out of here." The drunk says, "Are you kiddin'? I can't leave.  I can't walk. Hell, I'm so drunk, I don't even know who I'm fuckin'!"

 Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterward they're just lying there, enjoying the nearness of each other.
The phone rings, and because it's the woman's house, she reaches over and picks up the receiver.
Her lover looks over and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation. She is speaking in a cheery voice.
"Hello? Oh, hi! So glad you called. Really. That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you. Sounds terrific. Great! Thanks! Okay. Buh-bye."
She hangs up the phone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh," she replies, " that was my husband telling me what a wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

 

A newlywed couple is getting ready for bed when the husband says, "Honey, now that we're married, it's okay for me to see your body. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?"
She opens her robe and lets her husband see her naked body.
And he says, "You are so so so beautiful. Can I get the camera and take a picture?"
"Why do you want to do that?" she asks.
"Because I love you so, so, so much, and I'd like to keep your picture next to my heart forever!"
She allows him to get the camera and take the picture.

Then she says, "Honey, now that we're married, it's okay for me to see your body too. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?"
He opens his robe and lets his wife see his naked body.
And she asks, "Can I get the camera and take a picture?"
"Why do you want to do that?" he asks her.
"Because I want to get it enlarged!"

 

you can't suck cock if you're wearing a mask  (14 vids)

 

"My doctor says if I don't give up sex, I'll be dead in a week." "Why is that?" "I'm playing around with his wife."

A few years ago a man who was openly gay was elected as the Mayor of Key West, Florida. 
After the election results were in, a hoard of reporters surrounded him and began asking him questions on how he won. 
A young reporter walked up to him and said: "Mr. Mayor, I understand that you used a basic grass roots campaign to win, met lots of people, shook lots of hands, kissed lots of babies...I even heard that you kissed a parakeet."
The mayor replied: "That's right young man, I brought the campaign to the people, but I must correct you on one point, I did not kiss a parakeet -- I kissed a Cock-or-two."

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Mormon were having coffee in a café following an interfaith meeting.
The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."
The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons. One more and I'll have a football team."
To which the Mormon replied, "You fellas ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."