Looking for, or how to look for the right guy.

[dirtyblueeyes]

My gf fluctuates in her desire to experience rl contact with a larger guy despite me having largely been replaced by sex toys.
She has asked me to take the pressure of working out a "how" out of her hands. 

Context. 
She had a bad start or two with her own experience of sexuality and can sometimes assess a potential meeting with concerns based on real life experience along with maybe less ideal aspects of pornography and society. 
I explain that many men get their kink from consent and causing pleasure rather than pressure or degradation as opposed to her element of fear of there being an expectation to ride or suck and aggressively fuck like a willing doll in every respect, im not saying she is against these things, just that she fears the pressure to perform when at the moment she really just needs a caring sensitive well endowed guy who is able to get a kick from going at just the right speed that she needs to learn what works for her on a very basic level. 
She has concerns about needing to stop and this not being respected if she felt uncomfortable for any reason.
My desire for her is to learn that her concerns are largely superfluous in a world of mutually consenting adults interested in causing pleasure to one another and to let her explore aspects of sexuality she didnt get an opportunity to learn about given a rough start, some fairly tiny ex boyfriends and me, averagely endowed but experienced enough to know when average can only get a dame so far. 

In short, we are a young looking couple in our early 30s in the south east of england, looking for a sensitive well endowed person willing to take things as slow or as fast as the lady feels comfortable with, whos into skinny green eyed dirtyblonds who will almost certainly dig your ideally 9" plus with girth tool more than their boyfriends once you let her warm up. 
Or, advice to a relative newcomer on achieving this from folks who have. 

 

[Enigma6320]

I guess it depends whether you are are looking for someone "anonymous" that neither of you know yet, or whether she would prefer someone that she already knows.

If you want anonymous then there are lots of dedicated websites that will (usually for a fee) help you to get in touch with a suitably endowed male, I suggest plenty of chats (both text and video) first before you meet to get a feel for them.

Some women are comfortable with the idea of having a fling with the work colleague / gym friend who they already have a comfortable "flirty" relationship - they feel "safe" with them because they already have an idea of what the guy is like as a person. There is, of course, the issue of what happens after they have had sex, as their previous "relationship" will have changed.

Good luck to both of you

[dirtyblueeyes]

4 minutes ago, Enigma6320 said:

I guess it depends whether you are are looking for someone "anonymous" that neither of you know yet, or whether she would prefer someone that she already knows.

If you want anonymous then there are lots of dedicated websites that will (usually for a fee) help you to get in touch with a suitably endowed male, I suggest plenty of chats (both text and video) first before you meet to get a feel for them.

Some women are comfortable with the idea of having a fling with the work colleague / gym friend who they already have a comfortable "flirty" relationship - they feel "safe" with them because they already have an idea of what the guy is like as a person. There is, of course, the issue of what happens after they have had sex, as their previous "relationship" will have changed.

Good luck to both of you

Thank you for your reply, the more anonymous route appeals more I think for both of us though I can see the potential benefits to the alternative we would definitely prefer to know the ground rules were established with a kink savvy person rather than risk complications with rl folks, besides im 6"+ and not sure how wed go about establishing a person was bigger to make it worth her while but can you recommend any sites for making contacts?

 

[AliUKBull]

Although I live the south East I'm only 6 inches + & not 9 inches lol. So to find what you're looking for may need to venture into parties etc. Although I have met couples online, I started off swinging with my Ex & built up from there. I see your girlfriend is seeking bigger, different guys what different things. But wish you luck in finding the right person.

[dirtyblueeyes]

11 hours ago, AliUKBull said:

Although I live the south East I'm only 6 inches + & not 9 inches lol. So to find what you're looking for may need to venture into parties etc. Although I have met couples online, I started off swinging with my Ex & built up from there. I see your girlfriend is seeking bigger, different guys what different things. But wish you luck in finding the right person.

Thank you for your best wishes, As I say also 6"+ and not entirely skinny, frequently she cant even tell if im hard, her toys start at about the 6.5" insertable and pretty thick all the way up to 9-11" insertable, It has taken me a while to recognise but I rekon I might have been living with a natural size queen who never got an opportunity to explore any of this reality for the last 10+ years without knowing, its this that she wishes to explore in a gradual way so yeah, were both a lil redundant in this case . 
I used to have some interaction with rl parties and such but cant imagine that appealing to my other, what online resources did you use or do you find the most useful? I feel like online is the preffered method, leaving it to random chance is less likely, weve tried drunken random encounters a few times but folks tend to brag about being a lot bigger than they are and nothing special beyond that.

Thank you again for you reply and your best wishes, happy new year to you also. 

[Madmajor]

Speak to other chucks and get a personal recommendation in your area.  Where are you?

[dirtyblueeyes]

3 minutes ago, Madmajor said:

Speak to other chucks and get a personal recommendation in your area.  Where are you?

The south east, kent.
reasonable advice n all I just lack the resource but If I start talking with folks in the scene who are semi local I will be sure to ask their advice. 
thanks for the reply.