Jump to content
CuckoldFart.com

Umm


secondjag
 Share

Recommended Posts

CUCKOLD TEST

At any given moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
 FACT: 1 old person is reading emails.
You hang in there, sunshine!!

On Valentine's Day a drunk young man walked up to an attractive girl and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"Yes, but I know you're going to ask eventually anyway, so let's get it over with."
"Great. How many men have you had sex with?"
"That's my business!" she snapped.
"Cool! How much?"

 

On Valentine’s Day, Paul [who is a bit out of it sometimes] is walking to his girl’s house one afternoon and passes a florist shop. On a whim he buys a big bunch of flowers for her. When he gets to her house, he holds the flowers out to her.

Instead to taking them she slides her panties off from under her skirt, lays back on the couch, spreads her legs and says, "This is for the flowers."

Paul looks at her and says, "Oh come now, surely you have a vase around here somewhere."

 

Some Adult Riddles

Q. How do you castrate a hillbilly?
A. Kick his sister in the mouth.

Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A. 45 pounds.

Q. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A. 45 minutes.

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.

Q. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q. What is the difference between medium and rare?
A. Six inches is medium; eight inches is rare.

 

 

Happy Valentine's Day 2.jpg

Now Get Naked.jpg

Ladies' Choice.jpg

hdee7lps.jpg

Valentine's Cake.jpg

You're Invited.jpg

490_1000.jpg

61ixZ2SGtbL._AC_SL1200_.jpg

What Better Way.jpg

Valentine's Day.jpg

Valentine's Candy.gif

Valentine.jpg

Valentine Card from Lana.jpg

Suck Mine.jpg

To the Father.jpg

Safe Arrows.jpg

Old Coot's Valentine Doll.gif

Nothing Says It.jpg

It Sucks.jpg

She's One Limber Lady.jpg

Obvious.jpg

LIft Before.jpg

Instagram.jpg

Her New Toy.jpg

Centerpiece.jpg

Amazing Rhythm.jpg

Care to Join.jpg

Flash National Park.jpg

Fifty Percent.jpg

1600535702696blob.jpg

363.jpg

Futanari_1053.jpg

Happy Valentine's Day 3.jpg

Happy Valentine's Heart.jpg

Getting Ready.jpg

Don't Worry.jpg

Cute.gif

Conservative.jpg

Fresh Batteries.jpg

Better.jpg

Candy.jpg

Cheapest Valentine.jpg

Another Spin.jpg

Broken Heart.jpg

Rorshach Art.jpg

VC Panties.jpg

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba had so many women hanging around that he couldn't possibly handle all of them.
So one day he asked Bubba, "Just what the hell is your secret?"
So Bubba replies, "Well Coach, whenever I'm about to have sex, I always whip my cock out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw 'em forever!"
The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom.
He heard his wife in the shower. Seeing a window of opportunity, he tore off his clothes and started banging his cock on the dresser.
His wife stuck her head out of the shower and said, "That you, Bubba?"

 

 

Small School.jpg

Must be Really Hungry.jpg

Life's Too Short.jpg

I've Been Framed.jpg

It'll Never Happen.JPG

Everybody Gets One.jpg

Even with Mask and Gloves.jpg

BORED.jpg

Blow Jobs.jpg

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Four men got together at a reunion.

Three of them had sons and they started bragging about them, while the fourth guy went to the bar to get some drinks.

The first man said his son was doing so well he now owned a factory manufacturing furniture. Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a whole house full of brand-new furniture.

The second man said his son was doing just as well. He was a manager at a car sales firm. Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a Ferrari.

The third man said his was doing well too. He was a manager at a bank. Why, just the other day he gave his best friend the money to buy a house.

The fourth man came back and the other three told him they were just talking about how successful their sons were. He just shook his head and said his son was gay and hadn't amounted to much. But he must be doing something right because, just the other day he was given a house, furniture, and a Ferrari by his lovers!

 

unnamed (1).gif

1599391893166blob.jpg

unnamed.gif

1597601135178blob.jpg

Watermelon.jpg

STOP.jpg

World's Fastest Job Inteview.jpg

Shower.jpg

She's Busy.jpg

In Training.jpg

Hydration.jpg

It's COLD.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

House Painting

 The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys.
The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he's sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished.
The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him a $5.00 bill.
The boy looks at the money and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father, you're a virgin."
The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. 
The next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it's a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing.
The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad another $5.00 bill.
Once again the lad looks at the money and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin."
At this stage the priest decides to take action.
"Tommy," he says, "that's twice you've called me a virgin.  Do you have any idea what the word means?"
"Yes," says the kid, "a tight cunt."

 

Without Your Mother.jpg

Would be Nice.jpg

Tramp Stamp.jpg

Stressed.jpg

Real and Fake.jpg

No, You Can't.jpg

NIpples.jpg

Morning.jpeg

Like Sex.jpg

I Want.........................jpg

Follow That Car.jpg

Bad Relationship.jpg

Choices.jpg

Fastest Man.jpg

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...