Umm

[secondjag]

[Kaktuscpl]

5 hours ago, secondjag said:

LOL

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[Kaktuscpl]

7 minutes ago, secondjag said:

LMAO  the "bait" in the mermaid pic....fucking priceless 

[secondjag]

ok Kak, here we go

 

[Kaktuscpl]

 

 

 

 

2 hours ago, secondjag said:

ok Kak, here we go

 

The latest thing in VR technology LMAO

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[secondjag]

a bit more levity

 

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[Kaktuscpl]

3 hours ago, secondjag said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OMG.....Now that's fucking funny

[secondjag]

[secondjag]

A girl goes to confession.
"Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday."
"Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch??" the priest asked.
"Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission"
"Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father he also touched my breasts."
"You mean like this??" He touches her breasts.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father, he took off my clothes."
"Like this??" He takes off her clothes.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father, he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where."
"Like this??" He put his you-know-what in her you-know-where.
"Yes father," she says sometime later.
"But that's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father, he has AIDS."
"THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

The teacher asks the kids in her 5th grade class: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Little Larry says: 'I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.'
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.
'And how about you, Sarah?'
'I wanna be Larry's whore.'

 

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
 He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

 

 

[secondjag]

[psdt1969]

So funnnnnyyyy! You are all very good joke tellers!

[secondjag]

4 hours ago, psdt1969 said:

So funnnnnyyyy! You are all very good joke tellers!

Psdt, glad u dug it.  Feel free to contribute if you know any.  Laughter really is the best medicine

[secondjag]

A few years ago, a man who was openly gay was elected as the Mayor of Key West, Florida. 
After the election results were in, a horde of reporters surrounded him and began asking him questions on how he won. 
A young reporter walked up to him and said: "Mr. Mayor, I understand that you used a basic grass roots campaign to win, met lots of people, shook lots of hands, kissed lots of babies...I even heard that you kissed a Parakeet."
The mayor replied: "That's right young man, I brought the campaign to the people, but I must correct you on one point, I did not kiss a Parakeet......I kissed a Cock-or-two."

 

[secondjag]

and, if you look right now it comes with a bonus vid

 

[secondjag]

[secondjag]

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian.

The vet discovered that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears, so he cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.
The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist says, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it on my legs either; if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."

The druggist says, "Stay off your bicycle for a week."

Limerick

There was old guy named Lee,
Who was stung in the balls by a bee,
He made oodles of money,
By oozing pure honey,
Every time he attempted to pee.

 

 

Edited June 12, 2021 by secondjag
add content

[secondjag]

A middle-aged man returns home from a business trip a day early, concerned that his wife may be having an affair. He’s riding in a taxi at about 2:00 in the morning back towards his house, when he explains his situation to the taxi driver.

It’s after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

He explains to the cabbie that he suspects his wife is sleeping around on him, and offers the him $50 if he would be a witness to the affair, if he could catch her in bed with him. By the time they reach his house, the cabbie agrees.

They park a few doors down and, quietly, sneak into the front door and up the stairs. Then, with a burst of speed, the husband flicks on the bedroom lights and rips the blanket off the bed – and there his wife lies in bed with another man!

Out of his coat pocket, the visibly distraught husband pulls out a gun and puts it to the man’s head. Just then, his wife yells “Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited all that money!…”

- HE paid for the Mercedes I gave you.

- HE paid for our new cabin in the mountains.

- HE paid for your Atlanta Braves season tickets.

- HE paid for our lake house and boat.

- HE paid for your country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly dues!’

Shaking his head, unsure of whether to pull the trigger, he looks over at the taxi driver and asks “What should I do?”

The taxi driver replies, “I’d cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.”

 

[secondjag]

[secondjag]

Keep laughing Kak, good for the spirit