secondjag

Little Johnny was taking a bath one day, when his mother came in to use the bathroom.Curiously, Johnny viewed his mother's anatomy while she was sitting down."Mommy,", Johnny asked, "what's that between your legs?"His mother replied, "Why that's where your dad hit me with an axe.""Came awfully fuckin' close to your cunt, didn't he?" he replied. MUM: Didn't I tell you if a bot touches your breast say "DON'T." And if he touches your pussy part say STOP.” GIRL: But mum, he touched both, so I told him DON'T STOP!!!!" A man goes to church to confess his sins. He said, “Hi, Father, my five-year old son is very naughty. He made all the female servants pregnant. The Priest said, incredulously, “No way! How did he do that?” The man replied, “He took a pin and punched holes in all my condoms.” Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn. As the story goes, the farmer's came down from upstairs and asked her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?" "That's some fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "He needs a place to stay for the night, so I said he could sleep in the barn." The said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So, she prepared him a plate of food and took it out to the barn. About an hour later, the returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went. The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she, too, did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly and her hair all messed up. She also headed straight to bed. The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left. When the awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she cried. "We made such passionate love last night!" "What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain. The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to get you! You had sex with my !" The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out, "I DIDLEDTHEOLADEETOO!" Whether a woman fakes her orgasms or not is something the majority of men would rather not question. This is in case they discovered that she has been faking it all along, and that they are not, in fact, the stud they thought women go wild for. Rather, they are a pathetic creature with a problem, who needs to be patronized.For those of you who would prefer not to ask her, but would still like to know, there is a simple checklist to help you.1. In the middle of lovemaking, and just before the moment it sounds as though she is about to have an orgasm, stop and take away the magazine she's been looking at. If she says, "Dammit, I was reading that!" she was faking.2. If her panting, groaning and screaming are in tune, or sound like a familiar song, she can't be concentrating enough on the "job at hand," and must therefore be faking it. Or else she really likes the song playing on her iPod.3. A rule of thumb, which is usually very accurate, is: stop at random and record her response. If every time you stop she says, "Mmmmm, you were wonderful, baby," she is faking it. If she says, "Don't stop!" she isn't. However, if she says "Don't stop!" hours after lovemaking has finished, it is possible that she may have fallen asleep, and missed most of the excitement.Remember these guidelines for future reference.

Little Johnny and Little Susie were walking along a trail in the woods. Little Susie noticed that some of the animals were behaving oddly. "Little Johnny, why is that rabbit on top that other one?" she asked. Little Johnny stops to consider his answer, and replies, "They're making cigarettes." "Cigarettes?" she says, as they continue walking along. Pretty soon they approach a couple of raccoons. Little Susie asked, "Are they making cigarettes too?" "Yea," says Little Johnny Little Susie looks around and says, "it looks like all the animals are making cigarettes, why don't we make cigarettes?" Little Johnny was quick to say, "OK!" An hour or so later Little Johnny and Little Susie were walking out of the woods, when she asked, "Little Johnny, what kinda cigarettes did we make?" Little Johnny stops to think about his answer, then replies, "Well if you get a hump in your belly it's a Camel, and if you don't it's a Lucky Strike."

She got married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried again, and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together." One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."

damn, forgot this Best kind of hotwife.mp4

here goes another damn week (7 vids) Her moans tell you she loved it.mp4 cuckold loves the view.mp4 How to polish a knob.mp4 Poor Cuckold.mp4 1399212494_blindfoldedwifefuckedtoorgasmbybbc.mp4 cum while caged.mp4 1433443400_ChubbyWifeHer1stBlackGuy.mp4

I recently hired a temp to fill in while my secretary was off for six months on maternity leave.Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked her what she expected to earn.The temp replied, "Well, the minimum I could possibly work for is four hundred a week."I told her I'd give her that much with pleasure.The temp shook her head and replied, "With 'pleasure,' it'll be $750 a week." A man walked up to a farmer's house, and knocked on the door. When the farmer's wife opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to have sex.Not amused, she slammed the door.Again, the man knocked, and again, he asked the same question. Again, she slammed the door and screamed, "Get the hell away!"Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would stay home the following day just in case.Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while his wife answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex she said, "Yes!"The man replied, "Great! Give some to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him to keep the hell away from my wife!"

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A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him, and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled, and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221." A sexy blonde walked into the doctor's waiting room and couldn't find an empty seat anywhere. Finally, she walks over to one gentleman that was sitting down, and said, "I wonder if I might trouble you for your seat. You see; I'm pregnant." The gentleman groaned, coming to his feet and offering the lady his seat. As the young lady sat down, the man looked her over and said, "You know, if you hadn't told me, I never would have guessed you were pregnant. How far along are you?" Looking at her watch, she replied, "Oh, about a half an hour!" A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."

Hey Dober, got any good shots of Marie Luv? She has the most beautiful pussy I have ever seen. Exquisite pink inside and she did some creampie vids a while back

Nice Lucs, thanks for sharing

lol, not the usual fare, I know. I'm bored. (3 vids) maybe I'll post more later Black guy sucks dick on sofa with Mexican slut.mp4 Agitation.mp4 Girls having fun.mp4

Several should be in "Breakfast of Champions," I know. I'm just a lazy fucker

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A man went to his doctor for a check-up.Half way through, the doctor told him to take down his trousers.The doctor stood back in surprise, as there was a squirrel in a chauffeur's uniform and little hat in the man's shorts."Did you know you have a squirrel dressed as a chauffeur in your pants?" asked the doctor."Yes," answered the man. "He's driving me nuts." A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace an older doctor who was retiring.The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his house-call rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.At the first house, a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick."As they left, the younger doctor remarked, "You didn't even examine that woman!" and then asked, "How did you come to the diagnosis so quickly?""Ah! You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what has probably been making her sick."The younger doctor replied, "Pretty clever! If you don't mind, I think I'll try that at the next house."Arriving at the next house, both physicians spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately.""You've probably been doing too much for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, as she is very active in the church." Then he asked, "But how did you arrive at it?""I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the pastor under the bed." Little Johnny was visiting a friend of his in upstate New York during the winter. He and his friend went outside to play in the snow. After about an hour, his friend's mother called them back inside and had them remove their galoshes and gloves. Little Johnny's friend's mom was a tall voluptuous, woman who would warm her son's hands by putting them between her thighs. So as usual, when her son came in from playing in the snow, she asked if his hands were cold, to which he replied "yes". She then put them together and stuck them between her warm thighs. After a few minutes, she asked "are they warm yet?" and the little boy said "yes". Little Johnny watched his friend and waited his turn. His friend's mom then asked him if his hands were cold, to which he replied, "yes". So she took his hands, put them together and stuck them between her thighs. After a few minutes she asked if his hands were "warm yet" and he said "yes". So she took them out. Little Johnny continued to stand there with a sly grin on his face. When the mom asked, "Well what is it now, Johnny? What's wrong? Johnny looked up at her and replied, "My ears are cold, too!"

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