secondjag

Thanks Admin

Got a little "Seka" in there. Local Chicago girl who made it big in porn

if you don't dig these there is something wrong with you. ( 5 vids) 1205542600_Wifeliedaboutcondom.mp4 723802071_slutwifegetsbbccreampie.mp4 ZD5600.mp4 PH Tease.mp4 Finishing Inside of Her.wmv

Harold went to a bar and ordered a drink. After a few minutes, a beautiful blonde sat down next to him and started coming on to him. Soon she invited him back to her place. Overcome with excitement, Harold agreed. When they got to the bedroom, Harold exclaimed, "Wow! A waterbed, I've never had sex on a waterbed before." Soon they were both naked and going at it. The blonde stopped him and said, "Before we go any further, don't you think you should put on some protection?" "Good idea," he responded and got up. Harold walked out of the room, and when he came back, he was wearing a life preserver." A man who worked for the Fire Department came home from work one day and told his wife, “We really have a wonderful system at the fire department: ‘Bell 1' we all put on our coats. ‘Bell 2' rings and we all slide down the pole. ‘Bell 3' rings and we are on the truck ready to go. From now on we are going to run this house the same way. When I say ‘Bell 1' you strip naked. ‘Bell 2' you jump into bed. ‘Bell 3' we are going to make love all night.” The next night when he came home from work and yelled “Bell 1", she took off her clothes. “Bell 2", she jumped into bed. “Bell 3" they began to make love. After two minutes she yelled, “BELL 4!" He said, “What the hell is ‘Bell 4'?” “MORE HOSE!” she responded. “YOU AIN’T ANYWHERE NEAR DA FIRE!”

Baby, c'mon now; you'd look hot in a paper bag

Yet more from 2021 Why hotwives enjoy sex and creampies with multiple men wives enjoy having sex with multiple men, ending with a creampie for the wife. Hotwifing refers to a woman having sexual relations with other men with her husband’s approval. Today, it has become more common. In fact, men like watching their women enjoy the experience. It helps to improve relationships where partners experience more physical and emotional intimacy hence they end up having better sex. Women on the other hand tend to be more adventurous and take more pride in their appearance. Recent study has shown that many women lack confidence in bed. Through hotwifing, they can gain more confidence in bed. In addition, it helps in boosting their self esteem where women learn new ways of improving sex. Likewise, when a man sees his wife with other men it rekindles attraction. How women are turned on by different men A woman can be turned on when she enjoys sex with different men as her husband watches. This means her fantasy becomes fully realized and far exceeds her wildest expectations. When a woman grows into the role, she truly begins to understand her feminine power. She enjoys when several men pump into them since it is very sensitive. It becomes more enjoyable when they are on their birth control. Because the wife is having sex with new or infrequent partners, she feels hot where she ends up getting an exciting and adventurous sex. And the naughtiness of the whole situation only adds to the heat, especially if the partner is present or is listening. Hotwifing gives a woman a chance to enjoy both worlds. How women are turned on when several men give them creampie When a woman gets creampie from several men, it creates some of the best magical moments. Some women who get a creampie from other men ends up becoming hornier and can even reach their climax very fast. When they get the creampie as their men watch, they tend to get more feelings for them. In addition, women feel good when they receive lots of loads in their vagina. They tend to enjoy since the sensation turns them over the edge. Many women are also turned on when several men cum in them since they can feel the muscle difference. When men finally release the load in them, they feel amazing. Further, it becomes more fun when men are not wearing condoms since the woman can feel the pulsing when they ejaculate in them. Other women love the creampie since it is warm and it ends up turning them on. Hotwifing is the answer to many unfulfilled desires of many women. The hotwife lifestyle is supposed to be fun and beneficial to your marriage. -- Brian S Michaels

"Nice threads, Man. Where'd you pick 'em up?" "My old lady got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?" "I'll say. What was the occasion?" "Got me. I came home from work early the other day, and there they were... hanging over the chair in the bedroom." A airplane is in mid-flight over the ocean ,when suddenly, the cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, co-pilot, navigator and stewardess. He held a gun to the pilot's head and said, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill your brains all over the place." The pilot calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and says, "Look buddy, if you shoot me this plane will crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought about it, then held the gun to the co-pilot's head and said, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HIS brains all over the place." The co-pilot also calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, "Listen to me. The pilot's got a bad heart and he could keel over at the shock of my being killed. So, if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought about it for a moment and then held the gun to the navigator's head and repeated, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HIS brains all over the place." The navigator calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Those other two guys have no sense of direction. Without me they couldn't find their way out of a paper bag much less get this plane to Iraq. So, if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought some more, shrugged and this time held the gun to the stewardess's head and demanded, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HER brains all over the place." No one says a word, but the stewardess leaned over and whispered something into the hijacker's ear. He turned beet red, dropped his gun, and ran out of the cockpit in a panic. The crew tracked down the hijacker, who was found cowering behind some crates in the hold, and tied him up. The pilot then asked the stewardess what she said that terrified the man so. "I told him, sir," she replied, "that if he killed me, he'd be the one who'd have to give you guys your blowjobs."

Great stuff Dobe

your ass looks sooooooo delicious in that pic

some more - (7 vids) bbgirls.mp4 1.wmv inthe tunnel.mp4 bjbabses (1).webm bjbabses (2).webm rgwdonewhg (2).mp4 rgwdonewhg (1).mp4

Ok, a lot in here for the boot lovers. Hope ya caught all the wedding rings in the previous post. Hey Wild Thing; the red boots here (32nd pic?) would look mighty nice on you;just sayin...

some good wedding rings in there

publish or perish (3 vids) jerk off his BBC.mp4 1655865864_Hetrieshisbesttofititallinher.mp4 Taking some bbc.mp4

A man walks into a department store, and as he does, a perfume girl asks him to try some perfume. The man tries some and says, "Hey, that's not too bad, what's it called?" The perfume lady says, "Come to Me" The man smells it again and says, "Yeah? Well, it doesn't smell like cum to me.

finally! the weekend. (6 vids) Senior healing.mp4 239695845_Girlsrimming.mp4 KEYS.MP4 Now that's a big dick.mp4 For you guys, who think you can drink a beer.MP4 1719258106_Interracialvacation.mp4

Saw this, NOT MINE, and thought there might be some interested in reading There may some new aspiring hot wives who haven't seen it. Good hunting GUIDELINES FOR HOT WIVES BY: vargas111 (Literotica) OK, you have heard about being a "hot wife." It sounds sexy but a little scary, too. You have lots of questions and uncertainties and many women have written my brother, Homer Vargas, for advice. Well, he has asked me to reply because this is something better handled between us girls. With two grown daughters, one kid in kindergarten, one in nursery school, and a bun in the over, I've "been there done that." Probably your first question is "Why should I become a 'hot wife?'" There are many reasons but the most important one is, love. You have a wonderful husband whom you love more than anything in the world. You want to please him, to make him happy. You think that he might like a hot wife, but maybe you are not sure. What if he thinks you are a slut? Put that out of your mind, sweetie. Take it from me; if your husband is a heterosexual male, he wants a hot wife. If he is not heterosexual (or is a little underpowered sexually), there may be other reasons for you to become a hot wife, but I will not deal with those here. Men want hot wives; therefore you want to become the woman he wants. Besides wanting to please your man, it's also a matter of elementary justice. Your husband deserves a hot wife. He has made a commitment to you. He loves you above all other women. He has promised to be faithful to you, giving up pussy from all those other little hotties he was fucking before he met you. You owe him at least the sexual satisfaction he could be getting from those other women if he were still "on the loose." In addition, being a hot wife should be a mater of personal fulfillment. You are a woman and you want to be the best, the sexiest, the most feminine woman possible. Becoming a hot wife -- an ever hotter hot wife -- will give meaning and purpose to your life, releasing you from self centeredness and ennui. Then, too, being a hot wife is a very healthy lifestyle. To become and remain a hot wife, you will have to exercise daily, watch what you eat, maintain your body in top form. Dieting and physical fitness will not seem like a chore when you keep in mind that you are honing your body for your adored husband's sexual gratification. You are not just a "sex object" -- and proud of being a damn good one – you are a sex object d'art! Moreover, being a hot wife is to your material advantage. You want the good things of life: a nice house, fancy clothes, travel, fine food. So how does being a hot wife get you these things? Simple, honey. To acquire the material possessions you want, you need a financially successful husband. And nothing contributes to a man's success more than having a hot wife. For one thing, a hot wife at home does wonders for a man's self confidence. After a night with you, he walks into that boardroom or law office or shop floor and looks around knowing that no other man in that room has a wife as hot as his! No one else, only a few hours ago, had a woman riding his cock, screaming his name in ecstasy as she orgasmed over and over, begging him to fuck her longer, harder. A man with a couple of good early-morning fucks like that under his belt can kick ass and get other men to do things his way. But in addition to his self confidence, the reputation of having a hot wife will give your husband leg up in any encounter with other men. Remember, men are competitive, always measuring themselves against other men. When his rivals and co-workers know your husband has a hot wife, it gives him prestige and allows him to get his way. He'll be the one chosen for the highest bonus, the promotion, the challenging assignment that leads to advancement. And of every dollar he earns, 75% to 80% will be spent on YOU, his loving hot wife. (Of course if you are a hot high income professional that will further boost your husband's career.) There is another reason as well that must be mentioned, girls, even thought it's not too pleasant. You need to be a hot wife in self defense. Knowledge that your man is married immediately makes him a much more attractive target for other women. For some women, knowing a man is able to make a commitment causes their claws to grow. Tired of boyfriends whom they have screwed for months or years only to see them slip from their clutches; these women may figure that here is a man who has proven catchable. For others, it's just the opposite. They know you have your guy well tied down and he's not likely to get serious when all a girl wants is sex. And the way you look and act indicates that at least one other woman (you) has found him highly satisfactory in the sex department. Yummy! Still other women seek out married men because they know that married men are likely to be sexually unsatisfied. Sad to say, most women (you are going to be a glorious exception) cut back on the frequency and nastiness of sex once they have "landed" a guy, leaving the poor schmuck flopping around in frustration like a fish out of water. Finally, and this is paradoxical, the very success that your husband achieves thanks to your being his hot wife, makes him a more desirable prey. There are hundreds of sexy, slutty women out there wanting to take your husband from you and you have to be sexier and sluttier than they are to keep him! Now that you understand the reasons to become a hot wife, the important question is, "how." First, and this is almost too elementary for me to have to mention but many women miss this point: SEX. Yes! You will want to make love, have sex, fuck, screw, boff, shag, get it on, "do it" with your husband every time he can get it hard. Any woman can out-fuck any number of men so there is no reason for your husband ever to be horny if your pussy is around. The key to a happy, successful, faithful husband is enough sex to keep his eyes crossed. Almost more important than the frequency and nastiness (we'll get to that later) of sex is to make sure he understands that you want sex it because HE is a macho sexy Neanderthal stud. You are not doing him a favor (although you are!). These are not just frequent mercy fucks. You are fucking him because he turns you on. He makes you hot. He makes you want sex. He makes you NEED sex! With such a man, you are a sex slave! Now let's talk about what kind of sex to have with your husband starting with what kind not to have. It will NOT be once a week, in the bedroom, missionary position, lights out, "think of England" while he empties his balls in you. No! You are so burning with lust for your husband that you will want him to take you on the shagrug in the living room, on the dining table, bending over in the kitchen, draped over the back of the sofa in the family room, in the shower. You have a totally irresistible desire to let him eat you and an almost irresistible desire to give him blowjobs (you swallow greedily), tempered only by the thought that each load of cum in your mouth is one less in your needy pussy. You are multi-orgasmic, or will fake it until you train yourself to become so. You are a moaner and a groaner and a squealer and a screamer. You claw his back in ecstasy. You like it doggie style, riding his cock, legs bent behind you head or heels (6" stilettos) in the air. He can call you every filthy name in the book if it gets you a harder cock and a more cum pumped into your needy pussy. You put every porn movie he's ever seen to shame. Because you want to fuck your husband so desperately, all the time, you are constantly looking for ways to excite him, to entice him, to make him want to fuck you. This means taking the initiative, seducing him! You will want to have a collection of sexy nightwear and scandalous casual wear for around the house that signal your constant horniness. Seldom is total nudity best. Always keep on a necklace, bracelets, and your heels during sex. Cleanliness is good and perfume is great, but never wash off or cover up the womanly scent of an aroused pussy. Be proud of how wet he makes you and put up with the mess. Of course you do not stop being a hot wife when your hubby is off making money for you to spend. A true hot wife would not be able to go through a long day without her man if she did not have toys to keep her sane. Dildos and vibrators will keep you simmering and ready for his return. Masturbation is also important to help you become or remain multi-orgasmic. And of course he likes to know that while he is away, you are missing him so badly you need a large cylindrical object up your twat. As you get into being a hot wife, seeing how proud and happy your husband is, you will gain self confidence about displaying your body. You may decide to start taking out the trash early in the morning wearing only a flimsy nightie. You may want to shop for groceries in a short shift that lets anyone see you have nothing on beneath it but your stockings and heels. If you work, you will occasionally "forget" to wear bra and panties to the office. Now the next point is not for everyone and not absolutely necessary to be a hot wife, but many hot wives are strongly bi. Girl/girl sex is a great way to pass the long horny hours when hubby is away but it's also a great way to find women to bring to his bed for a threesome. (Husbands love WMW threesomes.) I have found nothing turns my husband on faster than seeing another little honey and me with our tongues buried in each other's pussies. And later I let him show me how grateful he is. Hair is also important. You want a hairstyle that is attractive to your husband, not something that is convenient or easy to manage. Generally men like longer, curly or wavy hair. Variety is nice. If you are brunet, go blonde. If you are blond, try red or darker, perhaps darker with highlights. You have to find what works for you, but the important thing, is you are doing this for him. Don't ask him how he likes you new style; ask him if it makes you look sexier. When he says yes, make him prove it. Finally a word on body type. Any "body" can be hot as long as you are neither anorexic nor seriously obese. In general men like rounder and fuller women than other women do. Before you decided to become a hot wife, you were probably keeping your weight down because of the expectations of other women, so it's likely you will can to put on a few pounds. On the other hand taking off a few pounds can say, "I want to be sexy for you." So far we have discussed what you need to do in private. Being a hot wife, however, is as much or more about how you behave in public as it is about what you do when you are alone with your husband (or with him and one or two other women). If there is one golden rule of hot wife public behavior it is: DRESS THE PART. When you go out, remember you are NOT dressing for yourself. You are no longer dressing for other women as most women are prone to do. You are not even dressing just for your husband. You are dressing to show off for and tease your husband's friends, co-workers and rivals. You are dressing to attract and please other men. Dressing to please and attract other men takes more time and work but take it from me, it will pay off tremendously in amount of attention you receive and how it affects your own "hot wife attitude". You should always keep in mind what the men you are trying to attract will probably like but in general follow this simple rule when choosing what to wear: "Think dress first, skirt second, and pants only as a last resort." This will be a radical change for many women but it's important to remember that most men prefer their women in dresses as opposed to pants. Short dresses and skirts are sexier to most men and they provide easier access in erotic situations. Any skirt or dress that's more than barely hiding your cookies should have a slit to show more flesh. Even a long gown can be sexy if slit nearly to the waist. You never know when you will have the opportunity to attract that certain man and you need to be dressed for the opportunity when it comes. The good news is that the hot wife lifestyle will probably make you feel like dressing up more and the more you wear dresses and skirts, the more you will find yourself wanting to. Now I can already hear the objections. "Oh, Evangelina, I could never wear clothes like that. I'm too [fill in the blank] short-tall-round-thin-dark-light." Nonsense. The point is not to have women (skinny supermodels) make clothes look sexy; it's to have clothes make women (of all sizes and shapes) look sexy. Believe me, girlfriend, any woman looks good in a miniskirt and a top that shows the rounded top of your boobs. What you wear under your dress or skirt is as important as the outfit itself. All men love women in sexy lingerie. The colors and styles you may want wear will vary but in general, here are some suggestions and rules to follow: 1. Always wear matching or at least coordinated lingerie. 2. Bras should maximize your bust size and display as much cleavage as possible. 3. Choose thongs or French cut panties (crotchless) are best. Avoid white cotton unless you are going for the "Catholic Schoolgirl" look. If you are with men who know you, no panties is the best option. 4. Always wear hosiery. High tops and thigh highs are great for casual wear but stocking held up by corsets or garter belt are best for formal occasion. No pantyhose. If you are like me, you probably have worn pantyhose your whole life, but they are death to your image as a hot wife. It is practically impossible get fucked on short notice if you are wearing pantyhose. Men understand this and detest them. Pantyhose say "I'm off limits" -- not the message you want to send. Besides, it's pretty difficult even to finger your self or let a man finger you, in the damned things. End of sermon. Stockings, on the other hand, will make you feel far sexier and more feminine and they provide your husband easier access as well as a sexier sight. Once you get used to wearing them, you will probably have no trouble giving up pantyhose. Seamed stockings are the ultimate for attracting men. You will always get a lot of attention in clubs if you wear them and if you dare to wear them in public in the daytime, men will drool. The only shoes you should ever wear in public are high heels. This will take some getting used to as well, but men love them. Three-four inches are fine for casual entertaining, but try for four-five inches for nights out. High heel, spaghetti strap, open toe sandals are the ultimate "fuck me" shoes. Jewelry is a must! It should be flashy, designed to attract the attention you deserve. Earrings should be large, loopy or dangling. Necklaces should draw wandering eyes to your cleavage. Always wear your wedding ring. Men love to think the might be getting a shot at another man's wife! Anklets and toe rings are a good sign that you are a willing hot wife looking to attract men. Bracelet's and anklets show you are a happy member of your husband's one-woman harem. A pierced navel below your tank top makes a sexy statement: "I'll do anything to keep my husband fucking me." Long highly polished nails in dark, daring colors help draw attention to you. And this goes for toes in those high-heal sandals. Being a hot wife is more than just looks, however; it's also how you act. 1. In a situation where you are trying to catch a man's eye; make sure to make plenty of eye contact with him and smile. 2. Show lots of leg. Cross and uncross your legs and bounce the top leg on the lower one, perhaps pointing the toe of your shoe. If you find that you are very attracted to him, eventually let the skirt ride high enough so that he can see that you are wearing stockings and garters. In clubs a woman wearing stockings and garters is taken as a sign that she is there to get fucked. And of course you are – by your husband that night – but no one else knows that. 3. Apply and reapply lipstick. Men want to see signs that you can't wait to suck a cock and lipstick is a great way to send that signal. 4. Never miss the opportunity to drop something and bend over – from the waist, never bend your knees. (That's what those expensive sessions in the gym are for.) 5. When dancing (probably the closest you can get to having sex in public), move your husband's hands to your ass and press close to him during slow dances. If you can feel his cock, he can feel your tits. Don't be shy about letting everyone see you come on his finger. With other guys, let them handle the merchandise knowing just exactly what they can't have. Fast dances give you the opportunity to whirl and twirl and flash your pretty panties or your prettier pussy if you're not wearing any. 6. If a man puts his hand up your dress; whisper in his ear and ask if him if he would like you to remove your panties. 7. If he compliments your dress; tell him you wore it hoping to meet a man like him. 8. Never miss an opportunity to tell him how sexy he is and how sexy and feminine he makes you feel. 9. However much you flirt with other guys, hang on your husband. Rub up against him. Squeeze his arm. Nibble his ear. Gaze into his eyes adoringly. Demonstrate to onlookers how eager you are for him to fuck you. 10. Do not hesitate to sneak off with your husband to do the dirty during a public event. Sex in public will probably not help his career, but for a man to be seen being dragged away by a hot wife who can't endure another minute without his cock in her, is a real plus. 11. When you depart early from a social event, make sure everyone knows it's because you are horny and need your husband to take you home and fuck your little brains out before you r******** one of the guests. 12. If your husband travels, meet him at the airport dressed to kill – heels, see-through blouse, cunni-skirt, the works. When you see him, fling yourself into his arms and start a stand-up make out session that will shame other wives and drive other husbands mad with jealousy. Make sure the other passengers know what you and he are going to be doing as soon as you get home (if not in the taxi). Leave the men shaking their heads thinking, "What the Hell does he put in her water?" 13. Take your husband shopping for sexy clothes and underwear; modeling them is lots of fun. Husband love to say, "No" to wives who ask them, "Does this show off my titites too much?" "Do you think this skirt is too short?" All of the above are fundamental to being a hot wife, but there is one thing that tops it all. Pregnancy! A hot wife wants to make babies for her husband. His genes deserve to have as many copies poured into the gene pool as possible and – hey, as a hottie, yours do too. If knowing he has a hot wife at home is good for a guy's ego (and earning potential) how much more is knowing he got his hot wife pregnant! By the same token, if other men are envious knowing your husband is fucking the shit out of his little hottie, they'll become comatose when they find out you let him knock you up. And all those sexy things you wear – skirts, heels, stockings -- and the sexy things you do – dancing, teasing, flashing -- are twice as exciting when done by a woman with a bulging tummy. There are ways to flaunt it in, however. Start wearing maternity clothes – outrageously sexy, revealing maternity clothes – as soon as the rabbit dies. There is nothing sexier than a pregnant woman and you are letting everybody see it. Hint to your friends that you had intended to wait longer before getting pregnant, butyour sexy husband got you so wound up one night you had an "accident." Alternatively, you might let them think this was your surprise gift to him. Always say "this baby" or refer to it by number, implying that this is just the most recent offspring of many; your husband may be planning to keep you in maternity clothes until you are 60. Hold, pat, and rub your belly at every opportunity. Show off in public with his hands proudly on his wife's baby-filled tummy. Cultivate a dopey, fucked-out-of-it expression. Tell the wives of your husband's friends how your libido has just gone through the roof. It will get back to their men who will want to shoot themselves in frustration. None will be able to look your husband in the eye. A final word on age. You are never too old to become a hot wife. It's even more important, in fact, if you have taken a younger man as your husband. Although your dresses may not be quite as short now as when you were in Jr. High fucking the football squad, a hot woman of thirty five or forty or fifty is hotter than any twenty year old in full slutwear. And this goes in spades when you are pregnant. Imagine your gray-at-the-temples husband in the middle of a multimillion dollar negotiation when he says, "Can we roll this up pretty soon, TJ? My wife's about to pop with our seventh kid and I need to get home to give her a good fuck!" Wishing you every happiness as a hot wife,

A man's balls had turned brown and he was worried so he made an appointment with his doctor.When he got home from the appointment, he sat down in his chair in the living room. He hollered for his wife to come from the kitchen. After a while when she didn't come, he hollered again.After the third time she hollered back, "I haven't got time. I am fixing dinner, I have clothes here to iron, the baby is crying and needs to be changed. I don't have time to wipe my ass.He said," That's what I want to talk to you about." What do you call a herd of cows playing with themselves? Beef strokin’ off. A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went into the club house, where he saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help. I understand that you are a sales lady .... well, I am in sales also. What do you sell?" She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh." "No I wouldn't," he said, and persisted that she tell him what she sold. "Well if you must know", she answered, "I sell Tampax." With that, he fell on the floor and laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She said, "See I knew you would laugh." "That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you!"

meh! (4 vids) + GIF bonus!! WhatsApp Video 2022-02-01 at 08.30.58.mp4 IR - tropical.mp4 First time with BBC.mp4 4rYDjusBweLWXKQl.mp4

Sweet Dirty; keep us posted!

This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of 9 mm ammo.On the way home I stopped at the gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.She looked at the ammo in the back of my pickup and said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, big boy. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"I thought for a few seconds and asked, "Sure. What kinda ammo ya got?" A Man shouts to his wife, “Come here and look at my clock.” She walks in to find him naked with a hard on. She says, “That's not a clock.” He says “It will be when you put two hands and a face on it.” Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation. One sperm asked the other, ‘‘How far till we reach the fallopian tubes?” The other replied, “Not sure, but we just passed the esophagus.” A man was sitting at a bar, morosely staring at his untouched beer. The bartender walked over with a sigh, and asked "What's the problem, pal?" "My brother just told me that there's a sperm bank in his neighbourhood that pays $50 for a donation." "Yeah, so?" "Don't you realize?" the man cried. "I've let a fortune slip through my fingers!"