secondjag

Mary, despite her good looks and charm, had still never dated any boys at the age of 19.
Today she was asking her aunt Martha for advice with boys.
"Aunt Martha," she started, "I've just started French kissing Tommy, and I need to know where the spit should go. I don't want to dribble on my boyfriend."
"Swallow." Her aunt advised. "This will make you even more popular later on."

 

A couple were making love in a 5 Series BMW, when the bloke's back seized up.

The ambulance men were afraid to move him in case of serious damage to his spine. So the police decided to use the 'jaws of life'.
They simply cut the entire top of the car off so the patient could be safely lifted out without bending.
When the ambulance departed the girl sat weeping beside the abbreviated 5 Series BMW.
Feeling sorry for her, a cop patted her on the shoulder. 'He'll be all right,' he reassured her.
The girl rounded on him savagely. 'Oh, sod him,' she exclaimed. 'How am I going to explain to my husband what happened to his BMW?"

 

40 minutes ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Outstanding stuff Gunner.  Thanks for sharing

Big shout out to Gunner

 

 

A drunk was zigzagging his way through the streets at 4 AM. Two policemen watching him from their car stop and approach him.
One cop asked "Where are you going at this time of night?" "I'm going to a lecture".
"A lecture?! At this time of night? What about?!"
"About the effects of alcohol and drugs on the human body. The damages caused by living a reckless life. The degradation that free love and sex bring to a marriage. The negative impacts of all this on the central and peripheral nervous system. The dangers of a live without God in your heart..."
One of the policemen stops him: "Okay, okay, we get it. But who's giving such a lecture at this time of night?!"
"My wife, as soon as I get home!"

A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally, the old girl passed away. On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years". His wife looked at him aghast. "*MY* Aunt Emma!" she cried. "I thought she was *YOURS*

 

9 hours ago, Dirtyfun1 said:

I am so envious of the guy in the 3rd and the guy in the last. 2 lucky guys for sure.

Hey Dirty, anything here?  ( 7 vids)

 

and now our feature presentation  ( 6 vids)

 

something a little different

 

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early.
One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss!
Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"

The agony of aging: on the first day of Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, “You should probably get your hearing checked. They said to turn your clocks back.”

A man was getting concerned that his 3 daughters might not be as innocent as he wished.
What did they already know about sex? He decided to find out.
So he brought his 16-year-old into the bathroom, dropped his pants, and said "Do you know what this is?" "Yes, daddy, that's a penis".
The man exploded! He couldn't believe it! "You're grounded for a year", he exclaimed, "and you're going to read the bible every day!"
He then brought his 14-year-old into the bathroom, and dropped his pants. "Do you know what this is?"
"Yes, daddy, it's a penis"
Unbelievable! He grounded her for 2 years, and took away her allowance forever.
Finally, he brought his 12-year-old into the bathroom, dropped his pants, and asked "Do you know what this is?" "No, daddy, I don't."
"What a good girl! I'm very proud of you! I'm going to raise your allowance! Anyway, this is called a penis."
The girl laughed and said, "You call THAT a penis?!?"

 

7 hours ago, Peter C said:

Thank you. I'm really pleased you both like Becky's tits so much. Here's her pussy - well, my pussy actually, and my bed. Meet Snoopy! !and Becky!)

awesome pic Peter, she is so ripe and ready.  funny, along with my dog, I had a cat that looked almost identical 

1 hour ago, xxxxxysr1 said:

First video is what every wife needs.  A bull to dominate her whenever he likes.  Super hot video 

glad u dug it x

10 minutes ago, cucksean said:

Thanks Jag...you are awesome

much appreciated Sean

 

alright, here we go.  (5 vids)  sound on

 

buckle up.  it's a long one

 

spill the wine, and take that girl  (6 vids)

 

think you'll really dig these but what the hell do I know??  ( 5 vids) ON TOPIC

 

some matures/wedding rings in here.  if you aren't clicking on a pic to enlarge, you're missing a lot

 

3 hours ago, cucksean said:

Jag you are truly awesome!  Thank you!

you are most welcome Sean.  glad u dug it

 

A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. The husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"What are you doing in bed at this hour?"
"Getting a second opinion!"

 

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other." He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10-meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three-rotations in jackknife position before he gain straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"

"No," she said, "I was a hooker in Buffalo and I worked both sides of the Niagara River."

A man on a construction site thirty floors up had to go to the bathroom.
He approached his foreman and told him that he was going down to use the restroom.
The foreman told him he was crazy; by the time he got down and back up, he'd lose a half hour.
The foreman pushed a plank out over the edge of the building.
He stood on one end and told the guy to go out on the other end and pee.
He said, "Damn, Chuck, we're thirty floors up! Piss'll turn to vapor before it hits the ground!"
What could he do? It was his foreman, after all.
So the guy gingerly heads out on the plank.
Suddenly the foreman's cell phone rang. Not even thinking, he jumped off the board to get it, sending the peeing man to his death!
At the inquest, an electrician who was working on the twenty-seventh floor was asked what he'd witnessed regarding the accident.
"I'm not really sure. I think it had something to do with sex."
The coroner said, "Sex? Why do you think that?
The electrician replied, "I saw the man falling with his dick in his hand, screaming, "Where'd that cocksucker go?"