secondjag

You know Louie, I've got a feeling this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.  (3 vids)

 

they will cum... ( 6 vids) lol, one in there for you Dober

 

 

An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into a Podiatrist's office instead, and weaves over to the receptionist.
Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain.”
Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the crack in the curtains.
“That’s not a foot!” screams the nurse on duty.
“Holy shit, lady!” the drunk exclaims, “I never knew you had a minimum!”

 

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.

So, one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than the real thing.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him. "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly, "I'll explain the toy. You explain the kids!"

A horsefly kept biting an elephant near her tail. She kept swinging her trunk, but he was far out of reach.
A little sparrow observed this and flew down and snipped the horsefly in half.
"Oh, thank you!" said the elephant. "Listen, if there's anything I can ever do for you, don't hesitate to ask."
The sparrow paused. "Well, ma'am," he said.
"What is it," said the elephant. "You needn't be shy with me."
"Well," said the sparrow, "the truth is that all my life I wondered how it would feel to fuck an elephant."
"Go right ahead," said the elephant. "Be my guest!"
The sparrow began to fuck away. Up above them, a monkey got very excited and started to masturbate. This shook a coconut loose and it hit the elephant smack on the head.
"Ouch!" said the elephant.
The sparrow looked over from behind and said, "Am I hurting you, dear?

A teenaged girl goes to confession.
"Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday."
"Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch??" the priest asked.
"Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission"
"Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father he also touched my breasts."
"You mean like this??" He touches her breasts.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father, he took off my clothes."
"Like this??" He takes off her clothes.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where."
"Like this??" He put his you-know-what in her you-know-where.
"Yes father," she says sometime later.
"But that's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father, he has AIDS."
"THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

if you build it... (4 vids)

 

5 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

WOW!🔥🔥🔥🔥 Some of the hottest yet!

glad u dug it Gunner

5 hours ago, Gunner3.5 said:

Nicely done Gunner,  I dug it

 

A man comes home with his , whom he has just taken to work with him.
The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"
Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system, and is very efficient."

"Oh. I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you laid her down on the couch."

 

20 hours ago, Peter C said:

No Leo, but Jag's black which would appeal to her more! I'm well aware that you'd be more than capable of giving Becky what she needs in the bedroom, as would several other men here I'm sure. I work evenings, so she could do with some company sometimes...

A few years ago Becky was quite poorly and lost a helluva lot of weight. She was very thin and her tits shrank away to almost nothing, empty bags of skin like spaniel's ears. Since then, she's put the weight back on and some (now, being a typical woman she says she's too fat!) and as you can see, her tits are bigger and better than they ever been.

Peter, you tell Becky I said emphatically she is NOT fat and those tits are world class. This woman is fuckable as hell and I am certain,  because you chose her Peter, that she is sweet as well.

some days the dragon wins  (7 vids) on topic

 

A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid. After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.
The maid, with her Gaelic ancestry, couldn't allow such abuse to go unanswered. "Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself."
The rich woman just swallowed and said nothing.
"And furthermore," the angry girl continued, "I am better in bed than you!"
"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"
"No, Madam," said the maid. "Not your husband... the mailman!"

 

Long after Dorothy, Toto, and the rest of the gang left the land of Oz, Good Witch Glenda of the North was horribly bored. She spent her days just floating around in her little bubble gazing at the land of Oz, hoping for someone to help or inspire.
One day, while floating around in her bubble, she passed over a pond and saw a lonely little yellow toad perched on a lily pad. He looked extremely depressed.
She floated down to the toad and asked him what could be the matter.
"Oh Good Witch Glenda, you are right. I AM horribly depressed. I am completely colored yellow, whereas all the other little toads in the pond are green. Won't you please help me?"
Mustering up all of her kind heartiness and good will, she waved her magic wand over the toad, and his color changed to green. That is, all except his 'private parts.'
They remained bright yellow. "Good Witch Glenda! Thank you so much, but my lower extremities! They're still yellow, while the rest of me is green!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, dear little toad. My powers are strong, but apparently not strong enough.
The only person who may be able to help you might be the Wizard, the Wizard of Oz."
So, in hopeful anticipation, he began hopping off toward the castle, where the Wizard of Oz resided.
Glenda the Good Witch continued her surveillance of the land of Oz, floating around in her bubble.

As she was passing over a pasture, she looked down to spot a pink elephant who looked horribly depressed.
"Oh, Good Witch Glenda, you are right. I am horribly depressed. I am completely colored pink, whereas all the other elephants in the pasture are gray. Won't you please help me?"
Mustering up all of her kind heartiness and good will, she waved her magic wand over the elephant, and his color changed to gray... That is, all except his 'private parts.' They remained cheerfully pink.
"Good Witch Glenda! Thank you so much, but my lower extremities! They're so pink while the rest of me is gray!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, dear elephant. My powers are strong, but apparently not strong enough.
The only person who may be able to help you might be the Wizard, the Wizard of Oz."
"Well, that's fine and dandy, but where may I find this fabled 'Wizard of Oz?'"
And Glenda, The Good Witch said, "Just follow the yellow-pricked toad!"

 

4 minutes ago, Dirtyfun1 said:

What a fucking hot bunch. Thank you very much sir 

You are most welcome Dirty

 

The recently married young woman was weeping and pouring out her heart and troubles to the church's appointed marriage counsellor.

"Isn't there some way, without turning into a nag, that I can keep my husband in line?" The counsellor scowled.

"Well young lady," he said, "maybe that's the problem. Your husband shouldn't have to wait in line!"

A professor told his class. “Fame will come to you only after you succeed.” A blonde asked him, “Who’s seed?”

 

Stanley is looking for a new desk for his office and he spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window. He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is.
"That desk is going for $5,000," says the shopkeeper.
"$5,000 for an old desk? That is outrageous!" exclaims Stanley.
"Ah," says the shopkeeper, "but this is a magic desk." He turns to the desk and asks, "Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?"

The desk taps one of its legs on the floor four times. The shopkeeper turns out his pocket and, sure enough, there are four dollar bills there.
"Wow, that is pretty cool," says Stan. "Alright, desk, how much money does my wife have in her bank account?"

At this, the desk goes wild, manically banging all four of its legs up and down repeatedly for over five minutes non-stop.
"Darn, where did she get all THAT from?" wonders Stanley.
The desk's legs slide apart and its drawers drop down.

A very avid golfer was lined up and ready on the 17th tee when out of the woods came a naked girl who ran past him and into the woods on the other side of the tee. Being the avid golfer he was, he once again bore down on the ball, and right in the middle of his backswing a guy in a white coat ran out of the woods and asked him if a naked lady ran past.
Our golfer said "Yes, she ran into the woods."
The guy in the white coat said thanks and ran after her. Our golfer again prepared to hit the ball when all of a sudden another man in a white coat came out of the woods carrying a 5 gallon bucket of sand and asked if he had seen a man in a white coat come through here chasing a naked lady. He said, "Yes, they ran that way through the woods."
The man said thanks and started to run off when the golfer stopped him and asked, "Hey, what's going on?"
The guy explained, "You see we work at a sanitarium institution nearby and every now and then that girl gets away and all she wants to do is get naked and fuck."
The golfer then asked, "Well what's the bucket of sand for?"
The guy in the white coat said, "Oh, that's my handicap. You see, I caught her last time!"

 

lmao, guess I got to have that Mac Daddy convo yet again

 

To begin, the chef recommends a lovely salad.  ( 5 vids)

 

1 hour ago, Peter C said:

I'm sure if that was Secondjag's bedroom, the cat would quickly be shooed out and my Becky's bra and panties would soon be on the floor with the rest of her clothes!

Yup Peter.  That's a natural fact

 

40 minutes ago, Gunner3.5 said:

 

great stuff Gunner.  thanks for sharing

 

3 minutes ago, xxxxxysr1 said:

Loved the second to last video I want to see my blonde wife fucked in a skirt and clear heels like that until a BBC cums inside her.   

Dude, make it happen.  Glad u dug it

Ok perverts, we've done this before.  Name the bike, don't cheat.  Last time Kak did pretty well until Wild Thing kicked all of our asses.

I don't know the answers. lol, if you can't name the bike, at least name the girl.  If you can't name the girl, at least tell me what you'd do with her. Have fun

 

 

2 hours ago, Dober said:

 

LMAO Dober.  You've heard of Trump's book, "The art of the deal?"  This should be called, "The Art of the Meal"