Did your marriage improve?

[Sigma5]

On 7/12/2019 at 8:33 AM, RobJohnson said:

You are being a good husband by doing what is needed to make your wife happy. And your marriage is surviving too. Well done to you both. 

Don’t get me wrong, there have been some difficult times as well. As soon as I had agreed to her continuing the affair, she made the most of it and had sex with him most days sometimes more than once. I was perpetually horny waiting for her to return and would go down on her while she told me what they had got up to. I would usually cum while licking her, if I hadn’t already cum before she got home. There were many times when I would be at work, that I would feel jealous and disgusted at myself for not only encouraging her, but licking his cum from her. I would then get horny again, thinking about it and would want her to meet him again.

I would help her get ready to meet him, shaving her and licking her, to eventually giving her an enema for when she had anal with him. It was on one of these occasions after I had given her an enema and was using anal toys on her. She told me that she was going to have sex with him and his friend and to make sure that she was really clean, that I couldn’t help it, but shot my load. I then asked her not to go that night and we ended up arguing, with her storming out of the house. She ended up coming home just before 3am.

There have been many instances like this, that I found hard to take, but over the years I have grown to accept and enjoy.

[subsucko]

Absolutely! By opening up about our desires we have found a level of trust we probably never would have known. By indulging in our fantasies we've been able to keep things exciting where it would have grown stagnant years ago. As I grew in the lifestyle I found myself more and more accepting of people of different lifestyles as well. Have we had fights? Definitely but even the most traditional vanilla relationship has issues. By being in the lifestyle I would say I've become a better person. I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

[CuckoldFart]

😎😎😎

[athlete951]

On 7/16/2019 at 8:27 PM, subsucko said:

Absolutely! By opening up about our desires we have found a level of trust we probably never would have known. By indulging in our fantasies we've been able to keep things exciting where it would have grown stagnant years ago. As I grew in the lifestyle I found myself more and more accepting of people of different lifestyles as well. Have we had fights? Definitely but even the most traditional vanilla relationship has issues. By being in the lifestyle I would say I've become a better person. I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Thanks for sharing your perspective.  I only know the lifestyle from the bull perspective, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but my couples have had similar experiences.  I think there are almost ups and downs with lifestyle couples, but as you pointed out, you can say the same thing about vanilla couples.  In fact my couples have described the vanilla periods of their marriages as extremely stressful.  Most struggled to be open and honest with one another.  For the wives it usually revolved around them struggling to admit that they had sexual desires that their husbands were unable to fulfill.  They thought that admitting their husbands had sexual shortcomings would hurt him too badly and end the marriage.  They felt trapped and that their only options were to be unsatisfied or cheat.  Meanwhile many of the husbands felt trapped into playing stereotypical male roles that they either didn't want or couldn't fulfill.  

Once a couple explores the lifestyle though those communication walls come down.  They are both able to be so much more open and honest with each other.  The wives gain confidence in expressing their wants and desires.  The husbands learn that they can still be amazing husbands even if they are playing a supportive role in the bedroom.

Finally, your point about the lifestyle making you a better person is a great one.  It certainly teaches you not to judge others.

Thanks for sharing

[athlete951]

On 7/12/2019 at 9:29 AM, davidchar said:

Yes, my marriage improved immensely once my wife started getting bigger cock.

To see the way she enjoys it and cuckolding me is a huge turn on for both of us.  

Great lifestyle.

It is definitely good to hear that it was an improvement for you two.  If you don't mind owe asking, how long into the marriage did you two start exploring it?  Whose idea was it at first?

[Maury]

A big issue missing from this thread is what happens when the wife falls in love with the other guy (bull)? My wife found the sex to not only be more satisfying but so intense that her feelings grew into torrid love. After awhile she preferred to be with him and it killed our marriage

[RobJohnson]

7 hours ago, Maury said:

A big issue missing from this thread is what happens when the wife falls in love with the other guy (bull)? My wife found the sex to not only be more satisfying but so intense that her feelings grew into torrid love. After awhile she preferred to be with him and it killed our marriage

Without doubt it’s a delicate situation to go into. I think the communication must be key and the relationship absolutely solid.

Maybe in your wives mind was to find a permanent better lover, in which case there is danger.

Its so tricky to find the right solution and that is why I believe that if you can let your wife benefit from better lovers and she always knows she will come back, this must be such a powerful relationship that comes out of it.

But I can imagine there are times it fails, and the delicacy of it will increase the percentage chance of failure. But “normal” relationships fail everyday too.

I just think if you can do this successfully the relationship grow as trust and communication will have increased significantly which are two of the most vital ingredients in a marriage 

[athlete951]

8 hours ago, Maury said:

A big issue missing from this thread is what happens when the wife falls in love with the other guy (bull)? My wife found the sex to not only be more satisfying but so intense that her feelings grew into torrid love. After awhile she preferred to be with him and it killed our marriage

Maury, sorry to hear about the bad experience.  That really sucks.

Emotions are tricky things and while most of us are focused on the physical aspects of the lifestyle, it can be hard for emotions to not get involved.  My advice is generally for couples to look for men who have a desire to be with a couple (vice wanting the woman to himself) and who have successfully been with couples before.  Guys who care about the husbands too and want them involved in the relationship.  

Additionally, all three participants need to be as open and honest with each other as possible.  It is a bad sign when the men and wives start having lots of secrets.

Finally, it is good to remember that emotions are not a zero sum game.  Just because a wife begins to care for her lover doesn't mean she necessarily cares for her husband any less.  She can easily appreciate both men for what they bring to her and the relationship.  Just because she may be smitten with the lover doesn't mean she should care for her husband any less.

Once again, sorry for the negative experience and best of luck.

[Guest SandL]

“Yes” and “Hopefully” not Yes and No

What I mean by “yes and hopefully” and not “yes and no” is that there is a definite upside to this lifestyle but there are other sides to it that need to be protected. 

The YES: From my experience, our marriage was solid and fulfilling in every possible way — except sex. My husband is my very best friend .. he’s the best “person” I’ve ever met — hands down. He has always put me first and always sought to make sure I’m happy and feel safe. No matter what I was feeling I could always talk to him and he would help. I hope he would say the same, but I’m not sure he would. But the one thing I didn’t feel I could bring up to him was how unsatisfied i was sexually. I enjoyed our sex ... but in the back of my mind, there was a growing seed of frustration. I guess he would be considered average in size .. he was my first so I dont’ have a lot to compare him to .. but I was not getting what i wanted ... and my want for more was growing desperate. But I just didn’t feel like I could tell him. I didn’t give him enough credit. I have a post about what I did .. and you can read it there .. but the short of it was that i put matters into my own hands. I confessed and we were able to reconcile .. and then we started to share. In the end, he understood my frustration ... and just as I should have expected ... he wanted to help make sure I was being fulfilled. That led us to a cuckold arrangement.                                     Once that started and took all its twists and turns (the cuckold relationship never stays stagnant) we grew to be so much closer. I didn’t realize it at the time, but before i was able to freely get the kind of sex he couldn't physically provide, i was starting to harbor bitterness toward him. That was now gone  and with it all the walls that could have stood between us were torn down. Our intimacy was better. And the sex between us was better. Not because he got better or somehow magically grew a bigger cock ... it was something else. Before becoming my cuckold, i was dependent on him for satisfying me (outside of taking care of myself). He couldn’t. And so sex with him was frustrating on many levels. I was wanting him to be and do what he wasn’t built for or had the nature for. That was a pressure that I put on him that wasn’t fair. But once he became my cuckold — that pressure was removed. Now our sex was more about loving each other and sharing that with one another. For him its still a physical pleasure ... and there are certain physical things i like about sex with him ... but its more emotional for me. And now that he was free of the burden to please me ... i felt free to just enjoy our sex. So we grew closer sexually too. 

But there is a “hopefully” too. 

The HOPEFULLY: The pitfall to finally feeling free gave us a confidence about our marriage that we weren’t ready for. Not me, especially. Sex is such a powerful thing that it can start to dominate other areas of your life .. including the non-sexual sides to your marriage. We didn’t take the time to protect that as well as we should have. As I said earlier, a cuckold relationship is never stagnant ... you might even begin to think that there are no boundaries that can’t be broken through. That’s not true. We all have certain personality traits. Some of us are dominant ... some of us are more submissive. Males can be one or the other .. females can be one or the other. I’m sure there truly are people who can be both ... but not us. We tried to venture outside of our “lanes” and neither of us could really handle it ... which eventually just built more walls that need to be torn down. But we’re getting there. 

All in all, I say that this lifestyle can truly bring a husband and wife closer together ... but as in everything, the husband and wife need to be true to themselves and who they are and feel free to be who they are ... and the ongoing emotional ups and downs need to be taken seriously and above all .. the marriage needs to be the number one priority. 

That’s my thoughts on it .. 

L 

 

 

[Naughty Nicki]

1 hour ago, SandL said:

“Yes” and “Hopefully” not Yes and No

What I mean by “yes and hopefully” and not “yes and no” is that there is a definite upside to this lifestyle but there are other sides to it that need to be protected. 

The YES: From my experience, our marriage was solid and fulfilling in every possible way — except sex. My husband is my very best friend .. he’s the best “person” I’ve ever met — hands down. He has always put me first and always sought to make sure I’m happy and feel safe. No matter what I was feeling I could always talk to him and he would help. I hope he would say the same, but I’m not sure he would. But the one thing I didn’t feel I could bring up to him was how unsatisfied i was sexually. I enjoyed our sex ... but in the back of my mind, there was a growing seed of frustration. I guess he would be considered average in size .. he was my first so I dont’ have a lot to compare him to .. but I was not getting what i wanted ... and my want for more was growing desperate. But I just didn’t feel like I could tell him. I didn’t give him enough credit. I have a post about what I did .. and you can read it there .. but the short of it was that i put matters into my own hands. I confessed and we were able to reconcile .. and then we started to share. In the end, he understood my frustration ... and just as I should have expected ... he wanted to help make sure I was being fulfilled. That led us to a cuckold arrangement.                                     Once that started and took all its twists and turns (the cuckold relationship never stays stagnant) we grew to be so much closer. I didn’t realize it at the time, but before i was able to freely get the kind of sex he couldn't physically provide, i was starting to harbor bitterness toward him. That was now gone  and with it all the walls that could have stood between us were torn down. Our intimacy was better. And the sex between us was better. Not because he got better or somehow magically grew a bigger cock ... it was something else. Before becoming my cuckold, i was dependent on him for satisfying me (outside of taking care of myself). He couldn’t. And so sex with him was frustrating on many levels. I was wanting him to be and do what he wasn’t built for or had the nature for. That was a pressure that I put on him that wasn’t fair. But once he became my cuckold — that pressure was removed. Now our sex was more about loving each other and sharing that with one another. For him its still a physical pleasure ... and there are certain physical things i like about sex with him ... but its more emotional for me. And now that he was free of the burden to please me ... i felt free to just enjoy our sex. So we grew closer sexually too. 

But there is a “hopefully” too. 

The HOPEFULLY: The pitfall to finally feeling free gave us a confidence about our marriage that we weren’t ready for. Not me, especially. Sex is such a powerful thing that it can start to dominate other areas of your life .. including the non-sexual sides to your marriage. We didn’t take the time to protect that as well as we should have. As I said earlier, a cuckold relationship is never stagnant ... you might even begin to think that there are no boundaries that can’t be broken through. That’s not true. We all have certain personality traits. Some of us are dominant ... some of us are more submissive. Males can be one or the other .. females can be one or the other. I’m sure there truly are people who can be both ... but not us. We tried to venture outside of our “lanes” and neither of us could really handle it ... which eventually just built more walls that need to be torn down. But we’re getting there. 

All in all, I say that this lifestyle can truly bring a husband and wife closer together ... but as in everything, the husband and wife need to be true to themselves and who they are and feel free to be who they are ... and the ongoing emotional ups and downs need to be taken seriously and above all .. the marriage needs to be the number one priority. 

That’s my thoughts on it .. 

L 

 

 

You could not be more spot on.  I love it.  

[secondjag]

as usual, really well articulated.

[Guest SandL]

13 minutes ago, Naughty Nicki said:

You could not be more spot on.  I love it.  

Awwwww thanks, Nicki! Love you! 😘 😘 

[Guest SandL]

Thanks Daddy! Heart speaks better sometimes 😊 

[cumlayus]

1 hour ago, Naughty Nicki said:

 

 

3 hours ago, SandL said:

“Yes” and “Hopefully” not Yes and No

What I mean by “yes and hopefully” and not “yes and no” is that there is a definite upside to this lifestyle but there are other sides to it that need to be protected. 

The YES: From my experience, our marriage was solid and fulfilling in every possible way — except sex. My husband is my very best friend .. he’s the best “person” I’ve ever met — hands down. He has always put me first and always sought to make sure I’m happy and feel safe. No matter what I was feeling I could always talk to him and he would help. I hope he would say the same, but I’m not sure he would. But the one thing I didn’t feel I could bring up to him was how unsatisfied i was sexually. I enjoyed our sex ... but in the back of my mind, there was a growing seed of frustration. I guess he would be considered average in size .. he was my first so I dont’ have a lot to compare him to .. but I was not getting what i wanted ... and my want for more was growing desperate. But I just didn’t feel like I could tell him. I didn’t give him enough credit. I have a post about what I did .. and you can read it there .. but the short of it was that i put matters into my own hands. I confessed and we were able to reconcile .. and then we started to share. In the end, he understood my frustration ... and just as I should have expected ... he wanted to help make sure I was being fulfilled. That led us to a cuckold arrangement.                                     Once that started and took all its twists and turns (the cuckold relationship never stays stagnant) we grew to be so much closer. I didn’t realize it at the time, but before i was able to freely get the kind of sex he couldn't physically provide, i was starting to harbor bitterness toward him. That was now gone  and with it all the walls that could have stood between us were torn down. Our intimacy was better. And the sex between us was better. Not because he got better or somehow magically grew a bigger cock ... it was something else. Before becoming my cuckold, i was dependent on him for satisfying me (outside of taking care of myself). He couldn’t. And so sex with him was frustrating on many levels. I was wanting him to be and do what he wasn’t built for or had the nature for. That was a pressure that I put on him that wasn’t fair. But once he became my cuckold — that pressure was removed. Now our sex was more about loving each other and sharing that with one another. For him its still a physical pleasure ... and there are certain physical things i like about sex with him ... but its more emotional for me. And now that he was free of the burden to please me ... i felt free to just enjoy our sex. So we grew closer sexually too. 

But there is a “hopefully” too. 

The HOPEFULLY: The pitfall to finally feeling free gave us a confidence about our marriage that we weren’t ready for. Not me, especially. Sex is such a powerful thing that it can start to dominate other areas of your life .. including the non-sexual sides to your marriage. We didn’t take the time to protect that as well as we should have. As I said earlier, a cuckold relationship is never stagnant ... you might even begin to think that there are no boundaries that can’t be broken through. That’s not true. We all have certain personality traits. Some of us are dominant ... some of us are more submissive. Males can be one or the other .. females can be one or the other. I’m sure there truly are people who can be both ... but not us. We tried to venture outside of our “lanes” and neither of us could really handle it ... which eventually just built more walls that need to be torn down. But we’re getting there. 

All in all, I say that this lifestyle can truly bring a husband and wife closer together ... but as in everything, the husband and wife need to be true to themselves and who they are and feel free to be who they are ... and the ongoing emotional ups and downs need to be taken seriously and above all .. the marriage needs to be the number one priority. 

That’s my thoughts on it .. 

L 

 

 

I almost thought someone wrote our story lol. You must be our doppelgangers   We had very much the same thing going on but we made our way through it, but after almost 14 years in the cuckold lifestyle we're still "working on it" and that will never change. Our differences were ironed out by lots of talk and a lot of give and take. Now when one of us has an issue going on inside we don't brew it up to the point of explosion anymore, we pour a drink, sit down and calmly discuss the issue at hand without bringing up any stress levels in either of us (this includes my boyfriend). You described it all so very well, keep up the good work and keep on working on your communications, that's so critical in this lifestyle.   Cat

[Guest SandL]

On 8/24/2019 at 5:26 PM, cumlayus said:

 

I almost thought someone wrote our story lol. You must be our doppelgangers   We had very much the same thing going on but we made our way through it, but after almost 14 years in the cuckold lifestyle we're still "working on it" and that will never change. Our differences were ironed out by lots of talk and a lot of give and take. Now when one of us has an issue going on inside we don't brew it up to the point of explosion anymore, we pour a drink, sit down and calmly discuss the issue at hand without bringing up any stress levels in either of us (this includes my boyfriend). You described it all so very well, keep up the good work and keep on working on your communications, that's so critical in this lifestyle.   Cat

Thanks Cat! I would love to talk more sometime

[pflash99]

On 7/8/2019 at 12:33 PM, RobJohnson said:

I believe that if there is a desire to have other partners, then working this out together as a couple should make you both much stronger.

There is a big issue if the desires are there, yet there is no communication between the couple. The desires will create cheating, which generally leads to comparisons being made between the lovers and partner, and in the end making choices which would lead to break up.

I believe if it can be discussed and explored as a couple, with complete openness, the strength that could develop here would be massive.

Easier said than done obviously, but desires and needs don’t go away, they need to be addressed and if you can address these together I believe the power and strength that would fall out of this as a couple would be immense. 

 

Very true.  Complete openness is vital for this lifestyle to work.  If something is said or done that one member of the relationship doesn't like, it needs to be addressed right away.

I find my role, as a cuckold husband, fascinating.  I am her husband and her best friend.  If she has a bad date, or is having issues with a current lover, I am the one she comes to for advice or to cry on my shoulder.

[pflash99]

On 8/24/2019 at 11:45 AM, SandL said:

“Yes” and “Hopefully” not Yes and No

What I mean by “yes and hopefully” and not “yes and no” is that there is a definite upside to this lifestyle but there are other sides to it that need to be protected. 

The YES: From my experience, our marriage was solid and fulfilling in every possible way — except sex. My husband is my very best friend .. he’s the best “person” I’ve ever met — hands down. He has always put me first and always sought to make sure I’m happy and feel safe. No matter what I was feeling I could always talk to him and he would help. I hope he would say the same, but I’m not sure he would. But the one thing I didn’t feel I could bring up to him was how unsatisfied i was sexually. I enjoyed our sex ... but in the back of my mind, there was a growing seed of frustration. I guess he would be considered average in size .. he was my first so I dont’ have a lot to compare him to .. but I was not getting what i wanted ... and my want for more was growing desperate. But I just didn’t feel like I could tell him. I didn’t give him enough credit. I have a post about what I did .. and you can read it there .. but the short of it was that i put matters into my own hands. I confessed and we were able to reconcile .. and then we started to share. In the end, he understood my frustration ... and just as I should have expected ... he wanted to help make sure I was being fulfilled. That led us to a cuckold arrangement.                                     Once that started and took all its twists and turns (the cuckold relationship never stays stagnant) we grew to be so much closer. I didn’t realize it at the time, but before i was able to freely get the kind of sex he couldn't physically provide, i was starting to harbor bitterness toward him. That was now gone  and with it all the walls that could have stood between us were torn down. Our intimacy was better. And the sex between us was better. Not because he got better or somehow magically grew a bigger cock ... it was something else. Before becoming my cuckold, i was dependent on him for satisfying me (outside of taking care of myself). He couldn’t. And so sex with him was frustrating on many levels. I was wanting him to be and do what he wasn’t built for or had the nature for. That was a pressure that I put on him that wasn’t fair. But once he became my cuckold — that pressure was removed. Now our sex was more about loving each other and sharing that with one another. For him its still a physical pleasure ... and there are certain physical things i like about sex with him ... but its more emotional for me. And now that he was free of the burden to please me ... i felt free to just enjoy our sex. So we grew closer sexually too. 

But there is a “hopefully” too. 

The HOPEFULLY: The pitfall to finally feeling free gave us a confidence about our marriage that we weren’t ready for. Not me, especially. Sex is such a powerful thing that it can start to dominate other areas of your life .. including the non-sexual sides to your marriage. We didn’t take the time to protect that as well as we should have. As I said earlier, a cuckold relationship is never stagnant ... you might even begin to think that there are no boundaries that can’t be broken through. That’s not true. We all have certain personality traits. Some of us are dominant ... some of us are more submissive. Males can be one or the other .. females can be one or the other. I’m sure there truly are people who can be both ... but not us. We tried to venture outside of our “lanes” and neither of us could really handle it ... which eventually just built more walls that need to be torn down. But we’re getting there. 

All in all, I say that this lifestyle can truly bring a husband and wife closer together ... but as in everything, the husband and wife need to be true to themselves and who they are and feel free to be who they are ... and the ongoing emotional ups and downs need to be taken seriously and above all .. the marriage needs to be the number one priority. 

That’s my thoughts on it .. 

L 

 

 

Very well put, L

Even after 30 years of being in a cuckold marriage, we still find ourselves learning. 

[secondjag]

4 hours ago, pflash99 said:

Very well put, L

Even after 30 years of being in a cuckold marriage, we still find ourselves learning. 

that's good; means you are still vital and NOT dead

[cumlayus]

On ‎8‎/‎27‎/‎2019 at 5:05 AM, SandL said:

Thanks Cat! I would love to talk more sometime

It would be my pleasure :)

[Goingeasy]

On 6/28/2019 at 12:28 PM, blueeyes4you said:

For us, it really rejuvenated our sex lives, which also strengthened our relationship. Her knowing that I trust her to engage in sexual activities with other men and the thrill I get from watching her being used by, and enjoying the attentions of, other guys has really benefited our marriage.

Luv the photos.

[Billparker]

Yes. Wife is happy than ever...