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I am curious to know in the hotwife/cuck relationship who is the person that finds the bull?

For me and hubby it has always been me looking for a bull. Im not sure if this is common. I do think it would be extra hot if my hubby were to find me a bull he thinks I would like. I know there is a lot of experience in these forums so would love to hear how people go about this.

TJ

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Well, I think the dynamic is very complex and that each couple has its own way of choosing the bull. I can only tell you what happened in my experience as "chosen-bull".

Most of the time, the cuckold favoured the situation where I could meet the wife. However, it was the lady that ultimately chose if she wanted to go through with it or not. What I have noticed is that not always the husband's choice is what the wife would like in a man. He either picks men who are too similar to himself or too different. Also, chemistry isn't something that can be concoted on demand. In my experience, hotwives indulge in cuckoldry because they want better/different sex than they have within the marriage and this means that they must have a saying in choosing their mating partner.

I do get what you're saying about being hot watching a cuckold choose his "replacement". It has happened to me, once. However, I had the feeling that the lady was getting off more to the thought of the humiliation she had put her husband through, rather than the encounter with me.

So, summarizing, there is a huge difference in the kind of experience you get. If the lady chooses, it's more physical - i would say. The other, is more mental. It goes without saying that this is just my opinion and that other people might have different view on the subject. I was chiefly chosen by the lady and, normally, in a non set-up environment. I wouldn't normally know she was in a cuckold marriage until she brought up the deed.

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My wife and I played more in a swinger type setting but it was always me looking for the people that we would meet. I was always much more interested in finding couples with men she would like and the woman was just extra. The last few times we played it was me finding aa bi couple with a guy she would like... the very last time was me looking for a bi guy she would like that would also let her watch me suck his dick.

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Thank you lifeslayer696 and dirtyfun1. It is very unique how different everyone goes about finding the bull. It just shows that there is no one way to do something. It is a huge turn on to think of the husband finding his sexual replacement. I think that might be the next step for me and my hubby. 

TJ

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It was definitely me finding the men in the beginning.  She did not want them to be from out city and later did not mind if they lived here but did not want to know them.  After a couple years and with my encouragement she started being more aware of other men and if they were paying attention to her.  Started flirting a bit.  She told me one guy really wanted to fuck her but did not want me around.  She declined.  I said if she thought the guys looked like someone she might want to give them a little sample, kissing, petting and maybe a BJ.   She finally succeeded with the drummer in the band.  You two just need to figure out what works best for the two of you and keep the communication open

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Similar to dirtyfun1 we played in more of a swinger type setting, I was the one usually making the connections, but this last time she chose a couple based on her wanting to fuck the husband. We played with this couple for about a year.  One time in Vegas in a club she met up with a guy she was really attracted to, he actually ended up finger fucking her at the club we were in and got a little freaked out when I walked up. Bottom line was she said I want to fuck him, so we went back to our room and she did. I literally poured myself a drink, pulled up a chair and watched. Other than him having kind of a small dick it was Ok. It is always hot watching her getting fucked, especially when she has picked out the guy!

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hello naughtynursetj...interesting topic you've brought up.

It sounds to me like you have become more intrigued and excited about the making your husband a cuckold part of this.

When YOU find the bull...it is you finding a lover...and your husband basically allowing it/ accepting it.

But having your hubby find a bull...and having him present the bull to you...sounds like that might make things even more exciting in your mind.

Don't really know enough about you to say...but just a thought I had...and thought I would share.

DomBull4U

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what I do is I know the taste of my wife and I always shortlist some suitable guys. She always choose.

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My wife always chose the men she went with. She had a thing about younger guys (I was 7 years older than her) and at 35 she dated and fucked a lad of 23, a regular customer from the shop she was assistant manageress in. In her mid-40s she went with a 25 year-old and a 28 year-old, but she wasn't exclusively into young cock.

We originally agreed that although she had been sterilised, she'd always use condoms and that she wouldn't go with anyone I knew so I wouldn't be able to put a face to the name, but as time went on it became a case of "her pussy, her rules" and for a time Mick, an ex-work colleague of mine, was regularly fucking my wife bareback. He'd been after sex with her for about 20 years and finally got his wish!

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DomBull4U

Well put! I think it turns me on so much because we have never tried having him pick someone out for me. I like how someone called it finding his replacement. 

I love hearing how everyone approaches this topic. 

TJ

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In my experience it has always been the wife who has approached me.  My initial experience the wife approached me, but in the end since I did not respond to her she had her husband continue trying to get me to be his wife's bull.  In the end some months after the initial approach he ran into me at the store and begged me while we were standing line to please fuck his wife.  At that point I agreed and when she and I started to see each other I wondered why I ever let her being married get in the way of fun times with her for all those months.

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It would be interesting to know how he feels first when you have a lover? Does he get excited, or is it that wonderful mixed submissive feeling?

Although I would be interested in hearing that, whatever the outcome I still think it would be good for him to pick a lover for you at some point.

Can you imagine those feelings? You are actually picking someone to have your wife. You would obviously pick someone who would fuck her good, be physically better than you, you are basically choosing a better replacement. 
 

I think those feelings are good for everyone. The wife would really appreciate the husband doing this for her, I can imagine the excitement she would feel. But the pleasure and mixed emotions the husband would go through knowing you are picking a better lover would be just so wonderful and difficult at the same time.

I think at some point it would be great for the guys to pick their wife a lover. Not all the time, but it’s about learning. 
 

If it was me I would pick the very best for my partner, a bull that could challenge and help me at the same time of giving my wife the best sex. One who would take control and one who I think my wife would want again and again. What a fantastic situation that would be. She would be so happy, and I would be tested at the highest level. 

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I was thinking to encourage your husband to pick the very best for you, you could always put in a forfeit if he doesn’t get you a top class bull.

Potentially, if the bull he chooses doesn’t hit the standard that you expect, then you will pick your next adventure without his input, which would include a full weekend away with two or three bulls  that you choose yourself. 
 

Imagine how he feels when you spend a few weeks organising something extra special for yourself. I am sure it will make him consider what he did and in future he will put in extra effort to get the right bull to please you. 

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Wow...smoking hot wife...it is tough at a general bar pick up as a lot of guys are not all about hot wifeing or MFM threesomes and even the sex clubs are hard to find a hot guy that the wife would enjoy and I would enjoy watching...even swinger sites are hit or miss, but when the right connection hits it is pretty freaking amazing!!!

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Great points.  In my experience and it sounds like yours as well, there is a massive delta between guys who like the idea of having sex with a married woman and those who can when the moment occurs, especially with an involved husband.  I've sadly heard so many horror stories from couples who thought they had found a great guy only to have them fail in the moment.

Have you found your luck has been better going through the swinger website you mentioned?  Are there specifically things you two mention that you're looking for on your profile?

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I've had both, but my experience is that it is usually the husbands doing the searching and the wives providing their approval or disapproval.  I think that is a good process because it allows the husbands to feel involved and demonstrate their support, while giving her the ultimate authority on who they play with (as it should be).

The one exception is when it comes to one night stands/more spur of the moment hook-ups.  Those are generally wife led in my experience.

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